You can now call me the bionic single Dom

[Cirrus]

Richard, it's not just the ladies hon.

My ex seems to want it both ways too. We still get along pretty well, and we've discussed being friends with benefits...play partners if you will. Not to hijack your thread, but he seems to want it both ways as well. If I flirt with him or drop innuendos (which is, incidentally, how I speak to most of my male friends...I flirt to some degree with all of them), he feels "pressured". If I don't talk to him at all he wonders what he did. If I talk to him without the innuendos, he thinks I don't find him attractive anymore although he says no if I try to intiate something physical. He sends me flowers on Valentine's day, but doesn't want to get back together, yet got offended when I mentioned I thought it might be another one of my guy friends that sent them. He said "his ego wanted me to think of him first". But yet he says that he's glad I'm over him.

So, in short, Richard dear, it's not just the women that don't know what the hell they want and/or have hidden agendas and/or send mixed signals.

 

[Richard49]

I can see how it can be both sexes that throw out mixed messages. I hope that the two of you can find a fit.

Today I recieved no communications from her. I sent her some general chit chat email and included her in some email that had substance.

When she broke up with me this time and every other time she spoke about she wanted to remain freinds and that it was how her son was confused by me.

I am confused by all of it.

Maybe if we had fringe benfits it would allow us to see better.
Who knows

 

[Richard49]

Last night I became so frustrated over so many things including her "not communicating" I posted her an email expressing my frustration.

This morning I received answers to several of my posts including that one. She told me to not things so personal.

I asked her about being "friends with benifits"
she did not respond

I have a congested head and a sore throat
not good

I want my white picket fence relationship before I die.

 

[lady-kat]

Richard, I have always enjoyed your words on these boards (tho, I do not often post) never spiteful, always thoughtful......

I want my white picket fence relationship before I die.

gentle man,
You deserve all that and more......

 

[kayte]

Last night I became so frustrated over so many things including her "not communicating" I posted her an email expressing my frustration.

This morning I received answers to several of my posts including that one. She told me to not things so personal.

I asked her about being "friends with benifits"
she did not respond

I have a congested head and a sore throat
not good

I want my white picket fence relationship before I die.

Richard ~ Sorry to hear of your head and sore throat. Sending strong healing thoughts across the 'pond' for you.

I do know of wanting that relationship.

 

[Richard49]

Richard, I have always enjoyed your words on these boards (tho, I do not often post) never spiteful, always thoughtful......


gentle man,
You deserve all that and more......

Thank you

Please share more of who you are and what you are about.

 

[Richard49]

Richard ~ Sorry to hear of your head and sore throat. Sending strong healing thoughts across the 'pond' for you.

I do know of wanting that relationship.

I think I am going to do a long post on PTSD list about White Picket Fence realtionships .................

Colds are not something I use to get often, complain about when I did or even pay much attention to ......

However now a cold affects breathing .. which affects my ticker

 

[kayte]

I think I am going to do a long post on PTSD list about White Picket Fence realtionships .................

Colds are not something I use to get often, complain about when I did or even pay much attention to ......

However now a cold affects breathing .. which affects my ticker

Richard ~ Yes it does. Like cold temperature, and heat and humidity in the air. Please take care of yourself.

 

[Richard49]

Richard ~ Yes it does. Like cold temperature, and heat and humidity in the air. Please take care of yourself.

I need a cute little submissive to take care of me

I am taking care of me ... I promise

 

[lady-kat]

Thank you

Please share more of who you are and what you are about.

Just a lurker, really.....

tho, I have followed this forum for a year or more. Getting to "know" the different personalities here. Enjoying the different viewpoints, experiences & the information given by all.

bdsm is, to me, a dream of "could have been, but never was" I only registed when I did so I could post a sincere thank you to another poster for a link (or two or more ;-) that may have steered me in a "good" direction.

Your situation, and the hurt contained in your words, lead me to respond as I did.

Richard I hope you get your "white picket fence relationship" and happiness as you deserve.

 

[Richard49]

White Picket Fence Relationship Part 1

I never thought much about a name for what I wanted.
Then one night at a recovery meeting I heard someone
talk about how wanting the house with the white picket fence.
WOW !!!! The house with the fence is something I could take or leave
but that type of relationship was exactly what I wanted.

I grew up with leave it to Beaver and Father Knows Best.
My house was not like either of these other then my mom
made great homeade cookies, cakes and pies.

These shows had families that were supportive of each other
Where each person had there own style but fit in
Where respect for people because they were people was present
Where financial fears did not seem to be present
Where moral right was the basis of behavior
Where people were loved even with there short comings
Where pets are not abused

Well you all get the picture

 

[Richard49]

The White Picket Fence Relationship Part 2

So why do I not have this relationship?
What is now in my way?
What can I do?

I do not have this relationship because I seem to attract unforgiving
people. They think I am wonderful till I set a boundry or my PTSD
cycles. Then I am worthless. They love me conditionaly.As I review
what I wrote I realize I love me conditinally.

With Audie Murphies wife being willing to make over the garge for him
she loved him enough to try and find a solution.

My mother was 15 in July. I was born in Sept. So she had me when she
was bearly 15 years old. She gave me up to her mother for adoption.
When I was 24 she and I started coressponding. We seemed to be making
progress and she dies. So twive she abadoned me. I look for every
woman to abadon me and proable do things to help this along.

My health issues make me even less attractive to intimate
relationships. This last Feb 12th was the 11 annivsary of survival
from heart proablems. I was glad to be alive tht day. That was a
first. Today I am back to not being to sure.

What can I do? Hell I do not know. Today me thinks that giving up the
dream/goal and just being a hermit might be best.

Richard

 

[Richard49]

It seems I have went over 3000 posts
I wonder what that says about me

I will not bore you with the lastest encounters with the Ex SO
Other then to say she is still dishing out mixed messages
with big scoops of sarcasm

I was once taught that sarcasm is just an expression of anger
and anger is a secondary emotion with usually fear being the core
issue .......

I am having problems breathing today .... such is life

 

[AnelizeDarkEyes]

I too, wouldn't mind the white picket fence. Hell, I don't need the fence even. Just some of the "rightness" that comes with it. I've just about given up, for more reasons that I care to list here.

People in recovery think that the steps provide the answers to a myriad of life's problems. I wish it were truly that simple. My brain is just a little more fucked-up than that I guess. I work hard. Sobriety is mine, thank God. Peace? nah.

I've read your thread, Richard. I feel your pain, in a lot of ways. The better word I suppose is empathize. Its hard not to. It's raw and out there. By virtue of what I DO, I want to help, to fix you, to go to battle. *opens her hands* But it's your battle. Know that you have the support of a stranger. One who walks the same path you do in many, many ways.

 

[Richard49]

I too, wouldn't mind the white picket fence. Hell, I don't need the fence even. Just some of the "rightness" that comes with it. I've just about given up, for more reasons that I care to list here.

People in recovery think that the steps provide the answers to a myriad of life's problems. I wish it were truly that simple. My brain is just a little more fucked-up than that I guess. I work hard. Sobriety is mine, thank God. Peace? nah.

I've read your thread, Richard. I feel your pain, in a lot of ways. The better word I suppose is empathize. Its hard not to. It's raw and out there. By virtue of what I DO, I want to help, to fix you, to go to battle. *opens her hands* But it's your battle. Know that you have the support of a stranger. One who walks the same path you do in many, many ways.

I have been clean for over 5 1/2 years. I stayed with my wife, who was also my collared sub, after I got clean even though she was using. Rachel is also in recovery. We both are members of NA.

Do the 12 steps cure everything? Well the 12 steps of NA are a little more comprehensive then AA but even so .... they take time and more they take

Honesty
Open mindness
Willingness

Remember the only ting we have to change is everything <smile>

Thank you for sharing with me here.

 

[Richard49]

I need a reality check.

Two weeks ago tonight was sort of the end of Rachel and my
relationship. We had rented a video for S and I to watch.Something happened that Rachel did not like. Rather then talk about it she pouted. First time in my life I was not comfortable being in my own home.

We never finished the video. She took it home with her. ( an hours drive)This gave S a chance to finish watching it.

She did not return the video until tonight. I keep getting calls from the video store. I would let her know about the calls. She acted like it was funny.

Also over the past few months she charged for me some purchses. The agreement was I would pay her back when my new VA pension came through. She has suddenly demanded the money. Please remember that she knows that I am being evicted for lack of payment.I gave her what cash I had scraped together for the rent.

Now today she tells me the total I owe her is $60 more then she had orginally said.

We are talking her less then $300. It is like she is saying that I and/or our relationship is worth less then $300.


Thoughts?

 

[Richard49]

Paint me very confused

No one replyied to my reality check post above

I thought a lot about it and finally called her and told her that I no longer could even be her freind because I no longer felt safe with her. Never heard a word back.

Last night I was to give the open talk at the recovery meeting
She chairs it
She acted like nothing had happned
When she introduced me part of what she said was that I had been with her every step of her recovery. It brought tears to my eyes and later I did cry


(Couple of times she was bent over and I remembered how she looked getting the paddle and flogger
)

 

[lady-kat]

Hi Richard.

I empathise (sp?) with having to see your ex-SO socially. As in, been there and done that. (sorta) My ex and I worked for the same company when he decided to split from our marriage. It was not a fun time running into him at work, especially with everyone knowing what was going on.

Damn. At least he didn't split during holiday time. That is beyond cruel.......

 

[Richard49]

Hi Richard.

I empathise (sp?) with having to see your ex-SO socially. As in, been there and done that. (sorta) My ex and I worked for the same company when he decided to split from our marriage. It was not a fun time running into him at work, especially with everyone knowing what was going on.

Damn. At least he didn't split during holiday time. That is beyond cruel.......

How did you handle it?

 

[lady-kat]

How did you handle it?

Long story short? I handled it. OK, I think. ex-Hubby was my first & it really hurt to think that I wasn't wanted, but hindsight being 20/20, he was right to leave. I just could have done without the head games he played after he left. Never have understood why the "leave-er" has to feel justified in those, but, it happens sometimes......

No one outside of my family (of one) and I mean no one, ever saw that I hurt. I have an easy going nature usually, but when my back is to the wall, my spine acquires some steel.

&

I got back in the saddle. (No, not trying for humor here, just truth) Years later, his leaving hardly registers as a blip on my radar screen. Man, I read this and know how cold I sound, but........

How did you handle it?

I healed eventually. And because I healed, I denied him a victory and any power over me....

 

[Richard49]

Two new developments

1) letter from VA dr arrived
it does NOT deal with the issues at all
it is worthless

2) was served with eviction papers a few minutes ago

 

[sorority_girl]

Re: Two new developments

1) letter from VA dr arrived
it does NOT deal with the issues at all
it is worthless

2) was served with eviction papers a few minutes ago

Oh, Richard, I'm so sorry. I've gotten those, and beyond just the panic of 'what do I do now!?' there's the underlying shame of being served with them....

I'm so sorry. I don't have any solutions at all. And I don't think anyone here does... but I'm sure that you have all of our support and warm feelings. I know that you've got mine.

s_g

 

[lady-kat]

Re: Re: Two new developments

I'm sure that you have all of our support and warm feelings. I know that you've got mine.

s_g

add mine to that as well......

 

[Richard49]

Re: Re: Two new developments

Oh, Richard, I'm so sorry. I've gotten those, and beyond just the panic of 'what do I do now!?' there's the underlying shame of being served with them....

I'm so sorry. I don't have any solutions at all. And I don't think anyone here does... but I'm sure that you have all of our support and warm feelings. I know that you've got mine.

s_g

Thank you for your support

Sometimes I post to not only let others know what is happening with me but to vent ......

Your profile is interesting in terms of the type stories you like

 

[Richard49]

Re: Re: Re: Two new developments

add mine to that as well......

and a thank you to you also