Yo hoe- Fat girl!

[CrimsonMaiden]

It IS their birthright, they are entitled to it, and to make it into a "fetish" is beyond insulting.

It's a "birthright" I don't particularly want.

I too get a little irritated when I see women on BBW sites who aren't really BBW's. As far as the "fetish" thing does, I agree with Selena. It shouldn't be a fetish to love/be attracted to a BBW.

 

[Roxanne Appleby]

*snerk*

yeah!

BTW, I totally endorse your substantive, profound and sadly true response above to the subject of the thread. Well said!


Edited to add: Part of the "birthright" should include the option to do without it if that is one's choice, per Crim above. That is, for this aspect of one's being to play no role (or a minimal role) in one's self identity. But I fear this may be verging on utopian.

 

[Selena_Kitt]

It's a "birthright" I don't particularly want.

I too get a little irritated when I see women on BBW sites who aren't really BBW's. As far as the "fetish" thing does, I agree with Selena. It shouldn't be a fetish to love/be attracted to a BBW.

BEAUTY is your birthright... no matter your shape or size.

 

[CharleyH]

"MM" in my posting above is Marilyn Monroe.

She was hardly a BBW, though?

 

[CrimsonMaiden]

BEAUTY is your birthright... no matter your shape or size.

I don't find anything about my body beautiful. Does that make me a product of modern culture? Probably. I had a mother who told me when I was in college that I'd have better luck finding a boyfriend if I'd lose some weight.

 

[MagicaPractica]

Okay, here's my take on the BBW thing...

There are way too many men out there preying on the fragile self-esteems of "big" women under the guise of "loving" them. This culture makes anyone who isn't a size 5 feel like they're a heifer, and unlike Charley, who's never been anything but thin, I know first hand what it's like NOT to be thin.

The feminine wants to be seen and loved. In our culture, BBW's are seen as repulsive and are abhored (I'm speaking generally here)... (never mind that WHAT percentage of the US population is considered "obese" now!?)

There are a lot of BBW women out there who are doing it because they get a taste of what it is to be "seen" and "loved" as beautiful... unfortunately, while there ARE people out there who appreciate a larger form, there are way way way too many others who are doing nothing but taking advantage of them.

I hear EL's point, and I get it... but I also think that there are a lot of women who aren't necessarily proud of their shape, but rather are doing it simply because they have felt so incredibly deprived of their basic birthright: their own beauty. They would do anything to feel it, just for a moment, even if it's not "real"... including taking their clothes off for some guys on a webcam or for pictures or videos to be taken, just to get a taste of what it feels like to be "beautiful."

But most of them still don't believe it. And never will.

I've highlighted the areas where Selena said it quite accurately. (However, many of us would not be willing to do anything.) But the last line is incredibly true. How could a woman feel beautiful when they are told as they are growing up, "you'd be pretty if you just lost weight?" And their own family considers fat people irrelevant? You can't unlearn that kind of upbringing.

 

[CharleyH]

I don't find anything about my body beautiful. Does that make me a product of modern culture? Probably. I had a mother who told me when I was in college that I'd have better luck finding a boyfriend if I'd lose some weight.

OH DAMN YOU! It makes you a product of your own perception. Your mother was not kind, though.

 

[CrimsonMaiden]

OH DAMN YOU! It makes you a product of your own perception. Your mother was not kind, though.

My perception of myself comes from years of the influence of those around me. I was a cheerleader in junior high. One of the sponsors (same thing as coach) suggested I lose weight. My mother has already been mentioned. I spent 4 years during high school and college without so much as a passing interest being shown by any guy. I'm sorry, but I didn't arrive at my perception by myself. I had help.

 

[Selena_Kitt]

OH DAMN YOU! It makes you a product of your own perception. Your mother was not kind, though.

Yes.

And it IS your birthright, Crim. Beauty is every woman's birthright.
Whether you will ever believe it or not.
It is yours, heavy or thin.

You need to emBODY it... that's all.
Every pun intended.
The feminine is about the body, she is matter, mother earth, the embodiment of lifeforce...

the world swings on a woman's hips.

A WOMAN'S hips. Not a girl's or a slender boy's.

The full, lush, ripe hips of a woman...

that is beauty beyond words.

It can move the world.

 

[CharleyH]

How could a woman feel beautiful when they are told as they are growing up, "you'd be pretty if you just lost weight?" And their own family considers fat people irrelevant? You can't unlearn that kind of upbringing.

I believe a strong person doesn't listen to what they were 'once' told, just as I believe a person comes to understand that Santa is a lie. What a cope out.

 

[CrimsonMaiden]

I believe a strong person doesn't listen to what they were 'once' told, just as I believe a person comes to understand that Santa is a lie. What a cope out.

Just because you believe it, doesn't make it true. It's simply your perception.

 

[MagicaPractica]

I believe a strong person doesn't listen to what they were 'once' told, just as I believe a person comes to understand that Santa is a lie. What a cope out.

Yes, most people could ignore it if they were told so "once." But it is difficult to ignore something that was told to you since childhood so that it is ingrained in your psyche. I work on it and can go for periods of time feeling good about myself. But, somehow, I'm always a little surprised when I look in the mirror and realize I actually look quite good. It's always a surprise and I have to believe that comes from having that belief ingrained in me from an early age that my weight makes me unattractive.

 

[CharleyH]

My perception of myself comes from years of the influence of those around me. I was a cheerleader in junior high. One of the sponsors (same thing as coach) suggested I lose weight. My mother has already been mentioned. I spent 4 years during high school and college without so much as a passing interest being shown by any guy. I'm sorry, but I didn't arrive at my perception by myself. I had help.

I am sure that there was help, none of us are immune to 'that' kind of help. Why believe it? Why not rise above it? Santa was a lie, after all.

 

[CrimsonMaiden]

I am sure that there was help, none of us are immune to 'that' kind of help. Why believe it? Why not rise above it? Santa was a lie, after all.

Dear Charley, there's a HUGE difference between Santa and being fat.

 

[Selena_Kitt]

I believe a strong person doesn't listen to what they were 'once' told, just as I believe a person comes to understand that Santa is a lie. What a cope out.

It's not about strength. It's not a pulling oneself up by the bootstraps.

It's not about acceptance either. I hate that "body acceptance" crap. As if our bodies are something "unacceptable" to "learn to accept?!"

It's about reclaiming, really finally discovering, what was there all along.

To use your metaphor, Charlie, it's kind of like learning that there is a Santa Claus after all...

 

[CharleyH]

Yes, most people could ignore it if they were told so "once." But it is difficult to ignore something that was told to you since childhood so that it is ingrained in your psyche. I work on it and can go for periods of time feeling good about myself. But, somehow, I'm always a little surprised when I look in the mirror and realize I actually look quite good. It's always a surprise and I have to believe that comes from having that belief ingrained in me from an early age that my weight makes me unattractive.

I understand, yet know it can be overcome.

 

[CharleyH]

It's not about strength. It's not a pulling oneself up by the bootstraps.

Is that not strength?

 

[Roxanne Appleby]

the world swings on a woman's hips.

A WOMAN'S hips. Not a girl's or a slender boy's.

The full, lush, ripe hips of a woman...

that is beauty beyond words.

It can move the world.

It can launch a thousand ships.

(I know, they said it was her face, but we know they were lying, don't we?)

 

[CharleyH]

I hate that "body acceptance" crap. As if our bodies are something "unacceptable" to "learn to accept?!"

You have an interesting and important point in this, I think.

 

[CharleyH]

It can launch a thousand ships.

(I know, they said it was her face, but we know they were lying, don't we?)

It was her twiggy type body?

 

[Selena_Kitt]

Is that not strength?

not in the way you're using it...

it's not something to "rise above."

It's something to sink into.

It's truly about becoming comfortable in your own skin.

As Magica and Crim have both stated, and I know all too painfully well... it hurts to get the message over and over and over that you're not good enough. Eventually you become bent into the shape that people wanted to mold you into in the first place.

but saying, "You can overcome" is no different than "body acceptance."

There isn't anything to overcome... the wall that's there between ourselves and our beauty can be walked through at any moment, yes.

But it doesn't mean the wall doesn't exist, and it doesn't seem and feel VERY real.

The first step always takes faith.

 

[CharleyH]

not in the way you're using it...

it's not something to "rise above."

It's something to sink into.

It's truly about becoming comfortable in your own skin.

As Magica and Crim have both stated, and I know all too painfully well... it hurts to get the message over and over and over that you're not good enough. Eventually you become bent into the shape that people wanted to mold you into in the first place.

but saying, "You can overcome" is no different than "body acceptance."

There isn't anything to overcome... the wall that's there between ourselves and our beauty can be walked through at any moment, yes.

But it doesn't mean the wall doesn't exist, and it doesn't seem and feel VERY real.

The first step always takes faith.

Thank you. I am not sure I agree, but I appreciate your opinion.

 

[CharleyH]

Getting tired (for the last hour or so), but thanks ... bitches ... for your takes on the topic. I hope you will post more, all of you. I promise to be more inquiring when it is not so late fore me (hard time sleeping tonight).

 

[Selena_Kitt]

Getting tired (for the last hour or so), but thanks ... bitches ... for your takes on the topic. I hope you will post more, all of you. I promise to be more inquiring when it is not so late fore me (hard time sleeping tonight).

g'nite.

 

[CharleyH]

g'nite.

I did not say I was sleeping, I said hard time doing it. lol Night Kitt. back at ya.