Wtf!?

[NotHisLady]

Why the hell don't old people drive faster? You'd think they would be aware of how little time they have left! Instead they cruise along, slower than continental drift.
Get out of the way for God's sake!! Jesus will be able to catch up to you at the speed limit, I promise.

 

[SexyRed0723]

I almost got my ass kicked by a wrestler when I was in junior college. He was breaking my balls about shaving my legs (I'm a bike racer), and I came back with, "Well, at least I don't roll around on nice soft mats with other fellas, secretly dreaming about taking it in the ass."

I feel that way about the UFC fighters... Watch the positions they put each other in and then just stay there barely moving, ever so slightly grinding one another... If its going through my mind and I'm watching it from thousands of miles away, I'm certain their cocks are at full attention in those situations!

 

[SexyRed0723]

The accident on the other side of the freeway, is just that a freaking accident on the OTHER side of the freeway. That doesn't mean you need to stop and watch; I don't care if the CHP has traffic stopped over there. I doubt it's the first time you've seen an accident on this freeway, and it won't be the last. Just glace at it as you keep driving by what the fuck!!!

I might have a road rage problem....

With you... I usually think to myself CHP will be needed on THIS side of the fucking highway for a "situation", not an "accident" if they don't speed the hell up!

 

[Chaos5588]

Why the hell don't old people drive faster? You'd think they would be aware of how little time they have left! Instead they cruise along, slower than continental drift.
Get out of the way for God's sake!! Jesus will be able to catch up to you at the speed limit, I promise.

Seriously, and somehow they always find their way into my lane just as I get to a speed I'm happily cursing along in. If they just went the same speed as everyone else there would be less traffic and we would all be happier.

 

[Chaos5588]

With you... I usually think to myself CHP will be needed on THIS side of the fucking highway for a "situation", not an "accident" if they don't speed the hell up!

Yeah, the few times I've come close to having an accident is when people randomly slow down to do the whole "rubber necking" thing to watch the remains of a car accident on the side of the road.

 

[hellguy]

I feel that way about the UFC fighters... Watch the positions they put each other in and then just stay there barely moving, ever so slightly grinding one another... If its going through my mind and I'm watching it from thousands of miles away, I'm certain their cocks are at full attention in those situations!

um...you just COMPLETELY changed my opinion on this. My son and I were going to take MMA classes but now I think not.

 

[hellguy]

I might have a road rage problem....

I think you might. However, I KNOW I do. I want rubber bullets for my gun so I can shoot dumbass drivers.

 

[hellguy]

Did you know that telling a girl she is a dealer in rare VD is offensive? She didn't get it but her friend did. I guess dumb AND easy go well together.

 

[NotHisLady]

Who do you think you are, you fucking bitch? Calling here and talking to me like I'm something you found under your damn shoe? Asking me, no TELLING me to give a message to the LOWEST ranking person in this entire store like he's the GD president of the place? Expecting me to know who the hell you are and to jump just because you say frog?
GD delivery boy gets more calls than anyone in the GD place and I'm stuck taking all the messages--all of them from his GD baby-mommas--because he turns off his damn cell phone to keep from having to talk to the bitches.
That's it, I don't care if I get fired. He and I are having a heart to heart. I'll take messages but I won't take shit from low life garbage like that!

 

[hellguy]

Who do you think you are, you fucking bitch? Calling here and talking to me like I'm something you found under your damn shoe? Asking me, no TELLING me to give a message to the LOWEST ranking person in this entire store like he's the GD president of the place? Expecting me to know who the hell you are and to jump just because you say frog?
GD delivery boy gets more calls than anyone in the GD place and I'm stuck taking all the messages--all of them from his GD baby-mommas--because he turns off his damn cell phone to keep from having to talk to the bitches.
That's it, I don't care if I get fired. He and I are having a heart to heart. I'll take messages but I won't take shit from low life garbage like that!

OMG! I love you!!

 

[hellguy]

I now this is wrong but here it is:
Fat kids=bad parenting.

Take the fucking twinkies and donuts OUT of the buggy and make them eat healthy and get some exercise. Just because YOU have more rolls than a bakers dozen does NOT mean your kids need to be tucked in at night and reminded to brush their teeth, say their prayers and take their BP and diabetes meds.

 

[NotHisLady]

Who do you think you are, you fucking bitch? Calling here and talking to me like I'm something you found under your damn shoe? Asking me, no TELLING me to give a message to the LOWEST ranking person in this entire store like he's the GD president of the place? Expecting me to know who the hell you are and to jump just because you say frog?
GD delivery boy gets more calls than anyone in the GD place and I'm stuck taking all the messages--all of them from his GD baby-mommas--because he turns off his damn cell phone to keep from having to talk to the bitches.
That's it, I don't care if I get fired. He and I are having a heart to heart. I'll take messages but I won't take shit from low life garbage like that!

OMG! I love you!!

Here's the update.
I did indeed have my little chat with mister 6 damn kids by 3 different sluts.
I told him it was my job to take messages not attitude and he better put a leash on her. Tell her to remember that she's calling a business and act like it because the next time she talked to me like that was going to be the last. After that I was going to start telling everyone that asked for him that he was not allowed to take personal calls at work.
Left him wide eyed with his mouth hanging open.

 

[Jen2013]

Well.. was in a meeting this morning and while we were waiting for it to start this guy was talking on and on at me. I was so bored that I zoned out and suddenly realized he was asking me if I was listening to him.
I paused, looked at him intently and honestly almost said, "Sorry, I'm just trying to imagine you with a personality."

So here are the rules:


If you were to say something completely off the wall and lacking any sort of filters what would you say? Be creative. It should be something that would stop someone cold and leave them speechless. True stories or make something up. It's your choice.

 

[sexy_hottie_2003]

Okay i have one..been holding it in for a while..

Okay WTF can you tell me you still love me when you have a girlfriend? What am i supposed to do? Wait until you break up with her then decide if you want to come back to me. Don't get me wrong. I do love you but fuck it's hard to deal with the drama of our "relationship". I don't even know what to call it. Do you know what is like to want to see you or even just fucking talk to you but knowing no wait it's impossible because you're "busy". You say you wanna chat with me but you never..and i mean never..try to get at me. I feel like I'm running around chasing you and I'm tired of it. and yeah when we slept together it was fucking great. but that was 6 years ago! i can't tell you I've met someone else who is willing to come fuck me and who makes me hotter than fuck cause i don't want to hurt your feelings like you did mine. guess I'm just to fucking nice to tell you. oh and when you do get your shit together come hit me up. but don't be surprised if by then I've moved on.

cause oh yeah I've already have

 

[hellguy]

Well.. was in a meeting this morning and while we were waiting for it to start this guy was talking on and on at me. I was so bored that I zoned out and suddenly realized he was asking me if I was listening to him.
I paused, looked at him intently and honestly almost said, "Sorry, I'm just trying to imagine you with a personality."

Ouch!!

 

[hellguy]

Here's the update.
I did indeed have my little chat with mister 6 damn kids by 3 different sluts.
I told him it was my job to take messages not attitude and he better put a leash on her. Tell her to remember that she's calling a business and act like it because the next time she talked to me like that was going to be the last. After that I was going to start telling everyone that asked for him that he was not allowed to take personal calls at work.
Left him wide eyed with his mouth hanging open.

Hell yeah!! get him!

 

[hellguy]

Is it wrong to want to get on a short bus and tell them the windows taste like vanilla ice cream just to see them all start licking?

 

[perkyT]

Is it wrong to want to get on a short bus and tell them the windows taste like vanilla ice cream just to see them all start licking?

Yes.

It is wrong. And a little sick.

 

[GiggLeGasm]

Yes.

It is wrong. And a little sick.

hhhhyep

 

[SherlockianMan]

Not mine, but my best friends. We were in line for a movie one time when this uppity college girl was constantly bitching at us for not moving up in place fast enough even though there was little point and it wouldn't have made any difference. My best friend finally turned around and said:

"Why don't you just shut the hell up, bend over and let me shove my dick up your ass so I can give you the attitude adjustment you so desperately need."

She was rendered instantly speechless, as was I at the time. Made for a great laugh afterwards.

 

[hellguy]

Yes.

It is wrong. And a little sick.

Thank you, that is the look that I was going for.

 

[hellguy]

To all of the snarky bitches of the world:

Someone should double fist your vagina, grab ahold of something with both hands and yank really hard.

 

[Aquagal]

To my FB friends:

I really wish you'd stop posting idiotic inspiring messages, political rants, my God is better than your non God, and recipes. And I really don't want all your fucking stupid game invites.

 

[SLOgent]

To my FB friends:

I really wish you'd stop posting idiotic inspiring messages, political rants, my God is better than your non God, and recipes. And I really don't want all your fucking stupid game invites.

WTF? You once asked me how to make a bowl of Cheerios and milk in the morning, and NOW you're getting all uppity?

 

[hellguy]

To my FB friends:

I really wish you'd stop posting idiotic inspiring messages, political rants, my God is better than your non God, and recipes. And I really don't want all your fucking stupid game invites.

My God and my Senator like this recipe. Click like if you do too.

Rigatoni With Sautéed Eggplant and Tomatoes

Serves 4

Ingredients
12*ounces*(5 1/2 cups) rigatoni
3*tablespoons*olive oil
1*medium eggplant, cut into 1/2-inch pieces
kosher salt and pepper
3*cloves garlic, thinly sliced
1*pint*grape or cherry tomatoes, halved
1/4*cup*fresh mint, torn
1/2*cup*grated ricotta salata or Parmesan
Directions
1.*Cook the rigatoni according to the package directions. Drain.
2.*Meanwhile, heat the oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat.
3.*Add the eggplant, season with salt and pepper, and cook, stirring occasionally, until golden brown, about 8 minutes.
4.*Add the garlic and tomatoes and cook, stirring occasionally, until the tomatoes begin to soften, 3 to 4 minutes.
5.*Add the drained rigatoni and mint and toss. Divide among bowls and top with the ricotta salata or Parmesan.
Nutritional Information
Calories*446;*Calories From Fat*24%;*Fat*12g;*Sat Fat*0g;*Cholesterol*9mg;*Sodium*324mg;*
Carbohydrate*71g;*Fiber*7g;*Sugar*6g;*Protein*1


Happiness is as simple as making the decision to be that way.