Wtf!?

[hellguy]

So here are the rules:


If you were to say something completely off the wall and lacking any sort of filters what would you say? Be creative. It should be something that would stop someone cold and leave them speechless. True stories or make something up. It's your choice.

 

[hellguy]

While sitting in class last week:
The guy next to me said I looked like I was having a bad day. I relayed my story and got sympathy. The best part was the girl behind me. She spit her water all over the guy next to her when I told my classmates I would feel better once I got home because I was going to fuck a midget and molest a Catholic Nun.

 

[NotHisLady]

Oh for God's sake get your cart full of crap out of the way and let the people with just one or two things go first. Stop bitching at your litter of kids and the check out girl and everybody else. What's the freakin' rush--Jerry Springer will still be on when you get your fat ass back to the trailer park.

Damn I've wanted to say that but I value my life much to highly.

 

[kimbalee]

*spew* LMAO

OMG! you are just not right! but, I can totally see you saying something like that. hahahahha! poor girl.

and I'm sorry, but you know I would never in a million years say something without filters so I don't have anything to add.

 

[kimbalee]

Oh for God's sake get your cart full of crap out of the way and let the people with just one or two things go first. Stop bitching at your litter of kids and the check out girl and everybody else. What's the freakin' rush--Jerry Springer will still be on when you get your fat ass back to the trailer park.

Damn I've wanted to say that but I value my life much to highly.

HAHAH!!!

oh I am gonna love this conversation topic. and thank you for validating my feelings on this matter every time I am at the checkout as well.

 

[hellguy]

Oh for God's sake get your cart full of crap out of the way and let the people with just one or two things go first. Stop bitching at your litter of kids and the check out girl and everybody else. What's the freakin' rush--Jerry Springer will still be on when you get your fat ass back to the trailer park.

Damn I've wanted to say that but I value my life much to highly.

What's scary is that I've actually DONE that!! Honest. Perverts honor.

 

[southerncharm77]

How about.. You are a waste of human flesh and taking up valuable air!

 

[NotHisLady]

*spew* LMAO

OMG! you are just not right! but, I can totally see you saying something like that. hahahahha! poor girl.

and I'm sorry, but you know I would never in a million years say something without filters so I don't have anything to add.

Well I've never done it--but lord I've wanted to!

Now if you want one I have done.

I did ask a lady once what exactly she had been thinking when she took all of the first 3 parking spaces in front of the drug store on a day that it was raining--leaving the rest of us to walk from the middle of the lot and get soaked.
She didn't really have a good answer for that one.

 

[kimbalee]

Well I've never done it--but lord I've wanted to!

Now if you want one I have done.

I did ask a lady once what exactly she had been thinking when she took all of the first 3 parking spaces in front of the drug store on a day that it was raining--leaving the rest of us to walk from the middle of the lot and get soaked.
She didn't really have a good answer for that one.

well, I don't suppose she would. dumbass.

okay, so... I HAVE thought this before...

for the love of god!!! get the hell out of my way, quit stopping at every FREAKIN driveway and get GOING!! I was on time for work until you pulled out in front of me without bothering to look first, and then decided to irritate the living shit out of me this morning. grrrr!!!

(this applies to the school bus, garbage man, recycling truck, or tractor creeping along at a snail's pace in front of me.)

 

[hellguy]

I did ask a lady once what exactly she had been thinking when she took all of the first 3 parking spaces in front of the drug store on a day that it was raining--leaving the rest of us to walk from the middle of the lot and get soaked.
She didn't really have a good answer for that one.

Thinking? She needed more beer and donuts for her fat little gash monsters and her welfare check had not arrived so it needed to be as cheap as her one-legged whore of a mother.

 

[NotHisLady]

Thinking? She needed more beer and donuts for her fat little gash monsters and her welfare check had not arrived so it needed to be as cheap as her one-legged whore of a mother.

I caught her coming out of the store. She had one Pepsi in her hand, two 12 can packs of same that were on sale and one small bag of stuff I couldn't see.
On the way in I gave her the benefit of the doubt--maybe picking up a Rx or something. Seeing that she was 'sale paper shopping' pushed me off the cliff.

 

[kimbalee]

Thinking? She needed more beer and donuts for her fat little gash monsters and her welfare check had not arrived so it needed to be as cheap as her one-legged whore of a mother.

fat little WHAT!?!?

*faints*

*smells the smelling salts*

one-legged WHAT!?!

oh my... do you kiss your wife with that mouth?

 

[Fire_Star]

I once told a lady who had her child bouncing around in the back seat of her car that a 40 lb child at 55 mph has the same impact velocity as a 22 round fired at 2300 feet per second.

Child got buckled up..

 

[JamieJ424]

I almost got my ass kicked by a wrestler when I was in junior college. He was breaking my balls about shaving my legs (I'm a bike racer), and I came back with, "Well, at least I don't roll around on nice soft mats with other fellas, secretly dreaming about taking it in the ass."

 

[hellguy]

When asked if I was having a good day:
I told the lady that asked me that it wasn't as much fun as when I got molested by my great aunt pookie but that it has the potential.

 

[NotHisLady]

had a lady get pissed at me in a store for telling off her kid (little heathen was 'trying out' a bike and ran into me) She told me if I obviously didn't have kids because if I did I'd understand. I got this really sad look on my face and put my hand on my tummy I told her that if I was able to have any I might have a chance to find out but as it was I never would.
Then I turned on my heal and walked away while her mouth was still opening and closing like a fish out of water.

 

[hellguy]

had a lady get pissed at me in a store for telling off her kid (little heathen was 'trying out' a bike and ran into me) She told me if I obviously didn't have kids because if I did I'd understand. I got this really sad look on my face and put my hand on my tummy I told her that if I was able to have any I might have a chance to find out but as it was I never would.
Then I turned on my heal and walked away while her mouth was still opening and closing like a fish out of water.

Sometimes I want to grab the little brats and shove them back where they came from. Would that be considered sexual assault or a humanitarian effort?

 

[hellguy]

fat little WHAT!?!?

oh my... do you kiss your wife with that mouth?

Of course. Her dirty bits are cleaner than my dirty mouth. The trade off is that her naughty bits get dirtier for me and my dirty mouth gets cleaner for her.

 

[hellguy]

I almost got my ass kicked by a wrestler when I was in junior college. He was breaking my balls about shaving my legs (I'm a bike racer), and I came back with, "Well, at least I don't roll around on nice soft mats with other fellas, secretly dreaming about taking it in the ass."

Well hell... if you can't make gay jokes to a wrestler then who CAN you make them to? Some people are sooo thenthitive.

 

[Indienne]

Sometimes I want to grab the little brats and shove them back where they came from. Would that be considered sexual assault or a humanitarian effort?

Definitely a humanitarian effort.

 

[hellguy]

Definitely a humanitarian effort.

That's what I thought too but I do not think that they would agree with me.

 

[hellguy]

I'm sure most of us have heard of comic con, a con, etc. I have to stop visiting ny local Wal-Mart because I feel like it is a weekly Springer-con. I walked into a Wal-Mart in KY once and counted a total of 63 teeth in the entire building. That was an experience.. No beer to be had (sold out), guns in the sporting goods department and no personal hygiene isle. Want to know what an area is like? Go to the Wal-Mart when you travel because it is a good cross section of the town.


Btw...The hottest Wal-Mart fashion is tank tops with back-boobs and a trio of ankle biters with no shirts or shoes.

 

[Indienne]

I'm sure most of us have heard of comic con, a con, etc. I have to stop visiting ny local Wal-Mart because I feel like it is a weekly Springer-con. I walked into a Wal-Mart in KY once and counted a total of 63 teeth in the entire building. That was an experience.. No beer to be had (sold out), guns in the sporting goods department and no personal hygiene isle. Want to know what an area is like? Go to the Wal-Mart when you travel because it is a good cross section of the town.


Btw...The hottest Wal-Mart fashion is tank tops with back-boobs and a trio of ankle biters with no shirts or shoes.

Sounds like a really fun place!

 

[hellguy]

Damn sphincter monkey crack whore just cut me off!!! I'm pretty sure that when your car leans THAT MUCH to the left your fat ass does NOT need to hurry into the buffett. Quick! Get her on the Jenny Crank diet!!

 

[Chaos5588]

The accident on the other side of the freeway, is just that a freaking accident on the OTHER side of the freeway. That doesn't mean you need to stop and watch; I don't care if the CHP has traffic stopped over there. I doubt it's the first time you've seen an accident on this freeway, and it won't be the last. Just glace at it as you keep driving by what the fuck!!!

I might have a road rage problem....