Does Authenticity Matter Here?

[MissSNG]

There are no "authentic" online relationships. All of us are different people in person compared to who we are online.

This isn’t true at all.. I’ve known people who met here who are together in person. Hell a lit couple got married ..
people you meet online CAN be themselves, in true form.

I am the same me online or in person, online just gives people a little more freedom to say/do the things that they may be restricted to do in their day to day lives but it doesn’t make them a different person.

I have personally met multiple people from this website in person and I don’t think they’d tell you I’m not the same person online vs face to face

 

[Baztrachian]

This isn’t true at all.. I’ve known people who met here who are together in person. Hell a lit couple got married ..
people you meet online CAN be themselves, in true form.

I am the same me online or in person, online just gives people a little more freedom to say/do the things that they may be restricted to do in their day to day lives but it doesn’t make them a different person.

I have personally met multiple people from this website in person and I don’t think they’d tell you I’m not the same person online vs face to face

You're on Lit discussing sexual matters that you'd never discuss in various aspects of your real world life. Likewise, neither would I.

TBH I might discuss sexual matters with you online here but in person? Probably not.

 

[rick_j21]

This isn’t true at all.. I’ve known people who met here who are together in person. Hell a lit couple got married ..
people you meet online CAN be themselves, in true form.

I am the same me online or in person, online just gives people a little more freedom to say/do the things that they may be restricted to do in their day to day lives but it doesn’t make them a different person.

I have personally met multiple people from this website in person and I don’t think they’d tell you I’m not the same person online vs face to face

+1 to this

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

This isn’t true at all.. I’ve known people who met here who are together in person. Hell a lit couple got married ..
people you meet online CAN be themselves, in true form.

I am the same me online or in person, online just gives people a little more freedom to say/do the things that they may be restricted to do in their day to day lives but it doesn’t make them a different person.

I have personally met multiple people from this website in person and I don’t think they’d tell you I’m not the same person online vs face to face

For my part I’d add, I’m not the same person online as off. But I’m not the same person with my siblings that I am with my spouse. Or with my oldest friends, or with my newer friends, or my coworkers, or the checker at the store.

All those people ARE me, they’re just different facets of me. It’s ridiculous to say that behaving different in different spaces means you’re not the same everywhere in this way.

 

[SpicyBean99]

You're on Lit discussing sexual matters that you'd never discuss in various aspects of your real world life. Likewise, neither would I.

TBH I might discuss sexual matters with you online here but in person? Probably not.

I think what you’re describing here are your own boundaries I say this because personally I don’t shy away from conversations about sex with friends and or others… it takes some “reading of the room” of course, I won’t blather on about my latest sexual encounter at Sunday lunch but I certainly will over a wine, with anyone. (Prolific sharer over here )

 

[MissSNG]

All those people ARE me, they’re just different facets of me. It’s ridiculous to say that behaving different in different spaces means you’re not the same everywhere in this way.

this! Absolutely perfectly said

Thank you for putting into words what I failed to

 

[silky52]

Wow, SpicyBean what an amazing post. So interesting. Totally agree with most of the things that have been said here.

The fact is I grew up in a world that invented computers. But a world that wasn't fair; that had values that were so false and ridiculous at times that they allowed loss and trauma to be passed off as if that is perfectly natural. For instance, DV, rape and women were used as second class citizens. Gay men were imprisoned until 1968 for their sexuality, not women mind you, and so on and so forth.

I know of course that life has not changed that much, but it has changed since I was a young woman. Therefore, I came to lit just a few years ago. I hardly knew that these sites existed, or I knew that they existed but would never have thought of becoming a member or one or even contemplating such a thing. There would have been too much guilt attached to it. As for the dishonesty, which is what fabrication is I have been lucky enough, and perhaps old enough to have not actually come upon it too much. Of course, there are the nitwits that try to pop up in chat with their very childish and stupid pictures and intolerable comments. On the whole I have 'met', chatted with and become friendly with some very genuine people. Some sad people, and some people whom I am still friendly with today and accept me for who I am, as I accept them.

Those who see fit to fabricate themselves are very sad indeed IMHO. It's true most come here for escape, myself included, but I know that some have even married or become partners through meeting at lit. Those who fabricate themselves as women instead of men are very curious to me, but then I would never want to be a man lol. So, I guess there is something in that, but again they are actually cheating themselves. If one has to live a fantasy to get one's kicks, well I can't say that I understand that, but I do believe, and this may sound extreme, but I do believe that there is evil in this world. Therefore, praying on people who come here for whatever reason, fun, escape, just to chat etc, etc, is not a reason to denigrate them, but then if they are evil, I think that speaks for itself. If that makes sense.

 

[LegendInMyOwnMind]

You're on Lit discussing sexual matters that you'd never discuss in various aspects of your real world life. Likewise, neither would I.

TBH I might discuss sexual matters with you online here but in person? Probably not.

So is disclosing more of yourself than you'd dare to in person inauthentic?

 

[snexxer]

So is disclosing more of yourself than you'd dare to in person inauthentic?

I've shared lots of things on here that I wouldn't with others in my life. That doesn't mean I'm not being me here or elsewhere.

It took me a while to tell people in my life I crossdress. When I first joined it was in my very first post.

Anonymity gave me the confidence to say so. But I was still being me. (Until I went nuts)

 

[TomTeacher19]

I've had some very deep, real, important relationships with people I met on line. There has been real joy and love and support and hurt and sorrow and loss. It's extremely authentic.

Obviously I cannot guarantee that either everyone but I think many do feel and act that way. And many do not, but hiding ones true self is a fairly authentic and accurate plan many have about themselves.

Do I talk about sex and sex related topics here more than I ever do anywhere else? Yup. But my in person friends and family and coworkers wouldn't be comfortable or interested in that (as far as I know).

I also have a real passion for college basketball. I barely talk about it here. But with some friends, we talk about it all the time and go to games and watch games together on TV. I'm no more or less authentic because I choose to focus on certain parts of my life with certain people more than others. It just works that way.

 

[MarilynMonroeFan]

This isn’t true at all.. I’ve known people who met here who are together in person. Hell a lit couple got married ..
people you meet online CAN be themselves, in true form.

I am the same me online or in person, online just gives people a little more freedom to say/do the things that they may be restricted to do in their day to day lives but it doesn’t make them a different person.

I have personally met multiple people from this website in person and I don’t think they’d tell you I’m not the same person online vs face to face

For my part I’d add, I’m not the same person online as off. But I’m not the same person with my siblings that I am with my spouse. Or with my oldest friends, or with my newer friends, or my coworkers, or the checker at the store.

All those people ARE me, they’re just different facets of me. It’s ridiculous to say that behaving different in different spaces means you’re not the same everywhere in this way.

I think what you’re describing here are your own boundaries I say this because personally I don’t shy away from conversations about sex with friends and or others… it takes some “reading of the room” of course, I won’t blather on about my latest sexual encounter at Sunday lunch but I certainly will over a wine, with anyone. (Prolific sharer over here )

I thank You three, it is correct for me what You say.

I agree, totally, the only thing in RL, I never told or will tell is that I show my nude body. But on the other Hand, and even some People said that to me, I never will show my face, the People called me stupid not to do, but that is my secret here.

On the other Hand, I’m here exactly the same person as in RL, I love and talk all the time about MM and my hobbies, and about what I like with sex same as in RL.

But I not like, when People are not honest or make a fake profile fake person here.

I mean, we are all here because of Sex. So and to say, that is not what is you, isn’t honest

 

[LostHorizon]

Is authenticity important here?

There is nothing all that authentic about this place. So it really isn’t all that important.

If one accepts that from the beginning, it’s a lot easier dealing with the inanity that goes on here because the reality of what happens here is what we allow it to be.

It’s all fantasy with whatever reality we choose to let in. There is nothing authentic about that.

 

[Apisto42]

It’s all fantasy with whatever reality we choose to let in. There is nothing authentic about that.

And society in general functions because of politeness. Which can lead to the argument that none of us are “authentic” all the time in every situation.

 

[Hornymwtxn]

I imagine we all come here for a bit of escapism.

Be it wanting to have sexy banter with a like minded person or find someone who is going through our same situation and help each through it.

 

[LostHorizon]

And society in general functions because of politeness. Which can lead to the argument that none of us are “authentic” all the time in every situation.

That’s an entirely different type of inauthenticity. Polite society can’t be compared to an anonymous porn site messaging board.

 

[Hornymwtxn]

That’s an entirely different type of inauthenticity. Polite society can’t be compared to an anonymous porn site messaging board.

But the anonymity is what some of us need in order to open up and help understand ourselves better.

It can be a way to explore our exhibitionist streak in a safe way for example.

Sharing "secrets" with another person who we will never meet in our everyday life is freeing imo

 

[Apisto42]

That’s an entirely different type of inauthenticity. Polite society can’t be compared to an anonymous porn site messaging board.

Eh, those posters who don’t follow many of the same rules of politeness are generally treated to scorn and being disliked. Forums like this function with many similar rules of interaction as in regular society (which all have their own rules depending on different situations).

I think more latitude is given online to posters to only share those truths they want to, while also allowing a bit of “this is who I would like to be”. But you can see the fallout when someone is exposed for “big” lies or obfuscation. Which is no different than in person.

 

[CuriousCat89]

Eh, those posters who don’t follow many of the same rules of politeness are generally treated to scorn and being disliked. Forums like this function with many similar rules of interaction as in regular society (which all have their own rules depending on different situations).

I think more latitude is given online to posters to only share those truths they want to, while also allowing a bit of “this is who I would like to be”. But you can see the fallout when someone is exposed for “big” lies or obfuscation. Which is no different than in person.

Oh man that last paragraph. That’s lit’s mission statement I think.