Emperor_Nero
Ever have 1 of those days
- Joined
- Mar 24, 2007
- Posts
- 20,295
Vodka
Where do we go from here?
To explore the secret garden.
Why is the dog looking at me funny?
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Vodka
Where do we go from here?
To explore the secret garden.
Why is the dog looking at me funny?
He's comparing the size of his penis to yours.
Why is there nothing on TV Sunday nights?
It was all sent out for dry cleaning.
Do refrigerators work less in winter months?
It was all sent out for dry cleaning.
Do refrigerators work less in winter months?
Only when they're on strike.
Can I say good night now?
Only on the first and third Sunday of the month.
Will you sleep well?
She'll take a cat nap.
What moron would pay thousands of dollars to see a football game?
Same people who pay six-figures for a car that gets you to the same place the $15,000 car will.
Does having two sons with rings make up for Archie Manning never playing in a Super Bowl?
If they're in their noses or nipples--no.
Why are old times not forgotten?
Nothing is forgotten in Dixieland.
Why can't I get myself motivated to go to work?
There's a sleepy tree frog in the Bolivian rainforests...
Why does my %&$& tooth hurt?
Wisdom is painful.
WTF is up with this fog?
It's all those guys breathing heavy as you walk by.
Did you watch the game last night?
Is the Pope Catholic?
(that works for both)
No. He lied on the job application.
Why is it now raining?
The snow machine is down for repairs.
Where the hell did my muse go?
She's screwing around with mine.
Should I wake my husband and tell him his beloved new car was just crushed by the tree that was struck by lightning?
Nah--it'll wake him up faster than coffee in the morning.
How can people walk in shoes without arch support. Don't their feet hurt?
Less painful than wearing uncooked eggs.
I wonder if inhaling glue is bad for you...?
Only if you're toking up at the same time.
Why do meals in restaurants taste better than the ones at home?
They add special herbs that make it addictive.
Who's going to bail out my crawlspace?

Man the bilge pump
Will you use the camcorder to get hubbys reaction to the tree?
Sigh. No real damage done.
How much wood can a woodchuck chuck?
Most woodchucks actually contract the job out to the beavers.
How many roads must a man walk down, before they call him a man?