Write Our Own Limericks: One Line at a Time - V3

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At the roast, they all had a laugh
When the pig was poked with a staff
It let out a squeal
And jumped on its heel
"You're not eating me so fuck aff!"

*may require a bit of a Scottish accent*
 
The pig just took off through the woods
Just as fast as wee trotters could

Off to the market she went
Hopeful of finding a gent
 
The pig just took off through the woods
Just as fast as wee trotters could
As the wolf followed

Off to the market she went
Hopeful of finding a gent
The bag boy sufficed
 
The pig just took off through the woods
Just as fast as wee trotters could
As the wolf followed
He thought of meat swallowed



Off to the market she went
Hopeful of finding a gent
The bag boy sufficed
Cos he fucked her twice
 
The pig just took off through the woods
Just as fast as wee trotters could
As the wolf followed
He thought of meat swallowed
And how he'd done do piggie good.


Off to the market she went
Hopeful of finding a gent
The bag boy sufficed
Cos he fucked her twice
So much for the vows of Lent. :rolleyes:
 
Kissing one's sweetheart on New Year's Eve night
Felt a bulge in front and got such a fright :eek:
 
Kissing one's sweetheart on New Year's Eve night
Felt a bulge in front and got such a fright
She copped a quick grope
 
Kissing one's sweetheart on New Year's Eve night
Felt a bulge in front and got such a fright
She copped a quick grope
And began to hope
 
Kissing one's sweetheart on New Year's Eve night
Felt a bulge in front and got such a fright
She copped a quick grope
And began to hope
But it turned out his jeans were too tight...
 
She struggled to undo the zip
Then barely caught sight of his tip
Disappointment, oh!
 
She struggled to undo the zip
Then barely caught sight of his tip
Disappointment, oh!
When he shrieked "no, oh please no!"
 
She struggled to undo the zip
Then barely caught sight of his tip
Disappointment, oh!
When he shrieked "no, oh please no!"
Then came early over her hip. :(
 
She then exclaimed: "Hey! I'm not finished!"
"I'm not even wet: you're diminished!" :mad:
 
She then exclaimed: "Hey! I'm not finished!"
"I'm not even wet: you're diminished!"
"Well let's hope you have a good tongue.."
 
She then exclaimed: "Hey! I'm not finished!"
"I'm not even wet: you're diminished!"
"Well let's hope you have a good tongue.."
"Thorry donth haff wongue" :eek:
 
She then exclaimed: "Hey! I'm not finished!"
"I'm not even wet: you're diminished!"
"Well let's hope you have a good tongue.."
"Thorry donth haff wongue"
He thus left her clammy and cringished :rolleyes:
 
"That's a leaf, I thought it was lips"
Thath tho hard to thay when you lithp :(

Well, seeing as that killed the thread let's try:

"That's a leaf, I thought it was lips"
He said as he stared 'tween her hips
 
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