Would you like to live in Pornland?

[KingOrfeo]

Pornland (the alternate universe in which adult movies take place)

Pros:
life is an unending sequence of brief but hot sexual encounters with highly desirable and responsive partners
complicated seduction techniques not necessary
wining and dining not necessary
getting to know about your partner's likes, dislikes, personal history not necessary
extended foreplay not necessary
learning your partner's name usually not necessary
nonorgasmic women and impotent men do not exist
women who look ugly naked do not exist
men who look ugly naked are rare; the few who exist compensate . . . in other ways
you might find yourself in some exotic pseudohistorical fantasy setting at any moment for no reason
STDs? what are STDs?

Cons:
for some reason, you can never have sex without hearing that crappy music and you can never figure out where it's coming from
intellectual stimulation? what's that?
you'd damned well better like coitus interruptus
life really doesn't make much sense, does it? no, best not to think about that . . .

 

[pointless]

you need to watch better porn.

 

[Phelia]

you need to watch better porn.

Yeah, I think my Pornland would be a little spicier than that. As described it's just like, a Tuesday. I wouldn't live there permanently but I'd consider buying a condo there, for weekend trips. I'll decorate it with a lone leather couch and a billion (milliard?) dildos. "Shabby Chic," I think they call that style.

 

[Batch]

sounds way too messy.

and cold.

 

[lovetoread]

I'm gonna have to sleep on Phelia's couch in Pornland.

 

[Phelia]

I'm gonna have to sleep on Phelia's couch in Pornland.

Oh, yay! Party time in Pornland! I'd ask if you were taking the train, but I think that means something different over there :/

 

[Batch]

Oh, yay! Party time in Pornland! I'd ask if you were taking the train, but I think that means something different over there :/

*busts up laughing*

Wowzers.

 

[lovetoread]

I'll bring the lube.

 

[pointless]

i'd bitch about the couch, but i guess it's better than stairs.

or a linoleum floor.

while wearing clunky, giant heels.

and a halloween costume.

 

[Squibbs]

I'd have a big willy in pornland.

Sign me up!

 

[KingOrfeo]

Yeah, I think my Pornland would be a little spicier than that. As described it's just like, a Tuesday.

Well, I'm talking mainstream porn here, like Naughty America. Nothing more exotic than girl-girl or anal seems to happen. There are other Pornlands for the gay-male scene, the BDSM scene, the chubby-chaser scene, the GILF scene, the foot-fetish scene, and even for things most people would not think of as having anything to do with sex at all, like vomiting.

 

[pointless]

naughty america? dude, c'mon.

 

[Sean Renaud]

Oh, yay! Party time in Pornland! I'd ask if you were taking the train, but I think that means something different over there :/

I shan't be going anywhere near Ms. Crazy Pony whilein porn land. Other than that it sounds pretty good. Besides my super powers will always work and if they don't instead of ending up dead I just have kinky sex. It's better than Actionland by a decent stretch.

 

[Batch]

Howabout comfy library land?

 

[lovetoread]

Ponies in Pornland!

 

[Phelia]

I shan't be going anywhere near Ms. Crazy Pony whilein porn land. Other than that it sounds pretty good. Besides my super powers will always work and if they don't instead of ending up dead I just have kinky sex. It's better than Actionland by a decent stretch.

One morning you are going to wake up and see this waiting for you at the foot of your bed:

Howabout comfy library land?

Oh, I'd like to live there. There was a book porn thread a little while ago with some soul-igniting pictures, but I can't find it. I found Mischka's bookcase thread, though - that was fun.

 

[KingOrfeo]

naughty america? dude, c'mon.

That's not mainstream?!

 

[KingOrfeo]

Ponies in Pornland!

Oh, yes, that's still another scene . . .