Worst Song Ever

[MetaBob]

[Big Star's September Gurls] answers the trivia question surely asked by someone somewhere: Why did Katy Perry spell "Gurls" that way in her "California Gurls"?

... Katy Perry spells it that way because, well, she's Katy Perry.

The song was initially titled ‘California Girls,’ with correct spelling. It was later changed to ‘California Gurls’ after the passing of Big Star member Alex Chilton as a nod to that band’s song. Perry explained: “My manager, Bradford, he’s from Mississippi, and he’s a huge Big Star fan. And with the death of one of their members, I had just written that song, and he’s like, ‘Katy, just for me, will you please title it ‘California Gurls,’ with a ‘u’? People won’t even know!’ I don’t know the whole catalog of Big Star, but I did it because Bradford is one of my best friends, and I thought it was cool, and you know, the kids like those variations.”

https://storyofsong.com/story/california-gurls/

Edit: By contrast, Susanna Hoffs (and Matthew Sweet) do know the Big Star catalog. Witness:

They know Gram Parsons, too:

 

[HordHolm]

Mwahhhaahaahaaaaa!

 

[jaykaythree]

What is it that you dislike about these lyrics?

I'm guessing you object to "Shoe" being used as a verb, but his use is grammatically and contextually correct. Look it up. Or ask your editor or English teacher. I think he did that rather nicely, in fact.

The problem, as mentioned, is that he has these three grandiose ideas, then teases "There's a solution," but doesn't tell us what it is. Maybe it's the editor in me, but I kinda wish he would've fleshed it out some for us instead of leaving us to guess.

Then again, it's radio-friendly pop music from 1977 ... not something to overthink, really.

 

[Duleigh]

 

[Duleigh]

Mwahhhaahaahaaaaa!

Yeah, that's how you end a show - permanently

 

[MetaBob]

The problem, as mentioned, is that he has these three grandiose ideas, then teases "There's a solution," but doesn't tell us what it is. Maybe it's the editor in me, but I kinda wish he would've fleshed it out some for us instead of leaving us to guess.

Actually, he does tell us. Here's the last line from all four verses:

...
Oh Lord, through the revolution
...
Oh-oh, there's a solution
...
Right through the revolution
...
Fly through the revolution

Now, it's true that he doesn't flesh out any specifics of how such a revolution should come about, or when, except to repeat:

Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin' into the future

Gil Scott-Heron, Marc Bolan, John Lennon, and Tracy Chapman did something similar, and I don't fault them for imagining a more just world, either.

Then again, it's radio-friendly pop music from 1977 ... not something to overthink, really.

Yup.

 

[DreamingOfMyEx]

Steve Miller did a song I actually kinda enjoy, but it has one verse for which an editor or an English teacher would call him onto the carpet in short order ... that song is Fly Like An Eagle.

The lyrics in question:

Feed the babies who don't have enough to eat,
Shoe the children with no shoes on their feet,
House the people livin' in the street,
Oh-ho, there's a solution ...

But then he never has the decency to tell us what that solution is; he thinks if we paid our good money to buy his record, or take time to listen to him on YouTube, that we should have a go at figuring out the solution for ourselves.

Sorry, Stevo ... no go.

The answer seems to be to keep spending money to make celebrities filthy rich so they can get together via their private jets and expensive hotels and have concerts to raise money from their fans to do things like feed babies and buy shoes and houses.

 

[Duleigh]

Not if they're going to "shoe children" You don't shoe children, you shoe horses.

 

[MetaBob]

Not if they're going to "shoe children" You don't shoe children, you shoe horses.

shoe
transitive verb
1 : to furnish with a shoe
2 : to cover for protection, strength, or ornament

Kids Definition
shoe
verb
: to put a shoe on : furnish with shoes
especially : to put a shoe or shoes on a horse

From my Random House unabridged:
-- v.t.
27. to provide or fit with a shoe or shoes
28. to protect or arm at the point, edge, or face with a ferrule, metal plate, or the like.

So yeah, especially with horses, but not excluding its use in the same context with children. Or things that need the protection of a ferrule, metal plate, or the like.

 

[Handley_Page]

Anything by Jim Reeves. . . .

 

[Duleigh]

That comes from a book, I come from a farm

 

[Handley_Page]

A reference to "a roll in the hay," among other things? So he's got twenty acres and she's got forty-three? A reference to body sizes?

Actually - No!
But it's funny

 

[Emilymcplugger]

A reference to "a roll in the hay," among other things? So he's got twenty acres and she's got forty-three? A reference to body sizes?

To be fair I think COMBINE HARVESTER and I’VE NEVER BEEN TO ME are what set off poor @Djmac1031 on this adventure.

As for personal hated shit songs I absolutely loathe WANNABE because the song lyrically makes no f’kin sense. Also Europe’s dogshit song FINAL COUNTDOWN. Shit song, shit title, shit band name. It’s like the group went “Asia! Cool name! Let’s do the same with a different continent but more shit”.

God, I hate FINAL COUNTDOWN!

 

[Fatdog25]

That comes from a book, I come from a farm

Which means you shoe horses, you shoo kids.

 

[Djmac1031]

Shit song, shit title, shit band name

I'll agree, on all fronts.

But the absolute worst shit band name has got to be The The.

Did they actually think they were being CLEVER with that name?

Or were they just stumped at the band meeting?

"What should we call ourselves?"

"Um...The...The..."

"Brilliant! Let's go with that!"

"But ...but..."

"Nah, The The is better. I'm sold."

"No, really, I wasn't sugges..."

"Too late! We voted! The The it is! Now, off to the pub!"

 

[Emilymcplugger]

I'll agree, on all fronts.

But the absolute worst shit band name has got to be The The.

Did they actually think they were being CLEVER with that name?

Or were they just stumped at the band meeting?

"What should we call ourselves?"

"Um...The...The..."

"Brilliant! Let's go with that!"

"But ...but..."

"Nah, The The is better. I'm sold."

"No, really, I wasn't sugges..."

"Too late! We voted! The The it is! Now, off to the pub!"

I imagine it was a similar conversation for WET WET WET.

What shall we call ourselves?

Wet?

No that’s shit.

Wet wet?

That’s worse. That’s like water water.

Wet wet wet?

Perfect!

 

[theWollstonecraftWoman]

I nominate

Toni Basil – ‘Mickey’​

Oh Mickey, you're so fine

No, no, no Toni he wasn't fine

You're so fine, you blow my mind

Toni you mindless bimbo shut the fuck up, he's a pervy little runt!

 

[Duleigh]

God, I hate FINAL COUNTDOWN!

I hope this means the song, because the movie was quite awesome for its time.

 

[djrip]

To be fair I think COMBINE HARVESTER and I’VE NEVER BEEN TO ME are what set off poor @Djmac1031 on this adventure.

As for personal hated shit songs I absolutely loathe WANNABE because the song lyrically makes no f’kin sense. Also Europe’s dogshit song FINAL COUNTDOWN. Shit song, shit title, shit band name. It’s like the group went “Asia! Cool name! Let’s do the same with a different continent but more shit”.

God, I hate FINAL COUNTDOWN!

There's something wrong with me. I absolutely love so many of the terrible songs in this thread

 

[MillieDynamite]

There's something wrong with me. I absolutely love so many of the terrible songs in this thread

I love a few of them myself. Even the one Mary panned, Mickey is fine and does blow her mind.

 

[Djmac1031]

There's something wrong with me. I absolutely love so many of the terrible songs in this thread

I was a wedding DJ for over 20 years.

I've had to play some of the worst crap of all time, repeatedly.

At the height of the craze, I'd wind up playing the Macarena three times a night.

Not because I wanted to, but because of crowd demand.

Still, I've come to appreciate some songs for what they are; catchy, brainless little pop diddies that get people shaking their asses on the dance floor and having a good time.

Nothing wrong with that.

There are some now, though, GOOD songs even, I can no longer listen to, simply because I played them too many fucking times.

And of course there are plenty I'm thankful I never have to hear ever again.

 

[gunhilltrain]

To be fair I think COMBINE HARVESTER and I’VE NEVER BEEN TO ME are what set off poor @Djmac1031 on this adventure.

As for personal hated shit songs I absolutely loathe WANNABE because the song lyrically makes no f’kin sense. Also Europe’s dogshit song FINAL COUNTDOWN. Shit song, shit title, shit band name. It’s like the group went “Asia! Cool name! Let’s do the same with a different continent but more shit”.

God, I hate FINAL COUNTDOWN!

I just looked at their video, and they seem like a generic mixture of every other popular (hair) band of the era. (A Van Halen influence in there?) Yes, they are from Sweden.I must have been doing something else that year, because I barely remember them.

 

[Duleigh]

There are some now, though, GOOD songs even, I can no longer listen to, simply because I played them too many fucking times.

I love Gordon Lightfoot but The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald was played so often over and over by every radio station in WNY that I can't stand it. Later I was a docent (train operator/guide) at the Colorado Model Railroad Museum and we had a model named the Edmund Fitzgerald sitting next to an ore dock so I'd explain how the ore dock works and someone would mention that song. Ugh.

 

[gunhilltrain]

I was a wedding DJ for over 20 years.

I've had to play some of the worst crap of all time, repeatedly.

At the height of the craze, I'd wind up playing the Macarena three times a night.

Not because I wanted to, but because of crowd demand.

Still, I've come to appreciate some songs for what they are; catchy, brainless little pop diddies that get people shaking their asses on the dance floor and having a good time.

Nothing wrong with that.

There are some now, though, GOOD songs even, I can no longer listen to, simply because I played them too many fucking times.

And of course there are plenty I'm thankful I never have to hear ever again.

A wedding DJ! You deserve some kind of accolade for merely putting up with that. But a job is a job, and people pay big for weddings. (I'm not sure why, since half of them are not going to survive the long-haul.) I mentioned The Carpenters; I assume you had to do them too?

 

[Djmac1031]

A wedding DJ! You deserve some kind of accolade for merely putting up with that. But a job is a job, and people pay big for weddings. (I'm not sure why, since half of them are not going to survive the long-haul.) I mentioned The Carpenters; I assume you had to do them too?

Not as often as you'd think.

Once the party kicked in, the slow, sappy stuff got kept to a minimum.

I probably played "Close To You" a few times, but only by request.