Women's Orgasms

[heartoftexasgrl]

Your penis size is clearly an obsession for you, based on reading through all your previous posts on multiple threads. I'm not sure what other information you're looking for. . . it all sorts of reads like it's going to lead up to a sales pitch for some penis size enhancement product or something. lol


Of course there are women out there who are obsessed with large cocks, the same way there are guys out there obsessed with big tits. It is not the majority of women, and it's clearly not your wife.


Be grateful you have someone to make love to. Many people don't.

 

[SweetErika]

No... No kidding. I give her great foreplay and bring her to climax rubbing her clit.Then because of my meds I have a bit of ED and loss of sesitivey, I give her missionary but that is totally for me.Then when my peter poops out, then She helps me come manually and sometimes I have to do it myself because it takes me so long to get an orgasm. My erection is so small when I am not fully erect. I'm talking 3.5".That sucks when I'm in her and I don't have a full erection.. Then I read about you guys..excuse the language...Then he fucked me hard, I had a vaginal orgasms G-spots because his penis hits must the right spot... lot's of intercourse here lots of intercourse there... then he slammed me there, he fucked me hard...etc. Yeesh The only thing I do is maybe 5 mins of wimppy intercourse and although she feels it and says it feels good,the intercourse is totally for my pleasure only. So when I look and read around this forum,it makes me feel inadequate because there is no real fucking involved with us.I am only 52 and I think I have the sexual performance of an 80 year old.It would be easier for me if I was longer because I really have to get real close and I doubt it would do much for anyone except my wife.So my ego gets shot.Its just me for 5-6 minutes of semi gentle missionary work and that's it.
Look I have other problems too. I have ED and it difficult to maintain an erection thanks to my blood pressure medicine.That is enough to cause men grief.. Who can afford viagra.It about $6 a pill with my insurance.
.My testosterone level started getting low because of age I guess.The doc put me on testosterone injections. My testicles are about half the size and an average guy.You may ask,"Hey,hows it hangin'?"
My answer would be,"sorry but their not." That is another blow to the male ego.We know my small size bugs me, some because of things written in this very forum can be very painful....for example a girl may go,"I have a boyfriend who I've been together with for over 1year. But he is not very well endowed and I can't feel it. What do I do?" I really don't know what she has to do but to me, it hurts me inside when I see stuff like that.That is not the only place I have heard girls complaining of small penises. So I got the size that brings me down.
And last buy not least, I have a zero sperm count.Some guys get vasectomies
and get bumbed out because they feel like they are shooting blanks and they feel inadequate.
So I have all these things to deal with at the same time.
Is she satisfied.yes. Am I satisfied yes. But my ego hurts me real bad some days and today is one of them.

If forums like this one are really hurting you, then stop reading them. Put your time into things that will help you feel better about yourself and more positive in general. Stop focusing on your little head and start pouring your energy into fixing up your big head. That is, work on your obsession(s), self-esteem, thought processes and emotional issues.

Once you get those things straightened out, you'll be in a place where you can benefit from talking about sex and relationships. You'll be able to read the things that currently bum you out with some perspective and only take what you can actually benefit from, rather than internalizing the stuff that makes you feel bad about yourself.

And, yes, be grateful for and expand on everything you do have, rather than feeling bad about what you don't and wishing things were different. For instance, if your cock doesn't work that well, focus on what you can do with everything else at your disposal; plenty of people are perfectly fulfilled with mouths, hands, bodies, toys and great minds. Think about all of the lesbians and bi women who get along without any cocks at all!

This is likely the #1 thing you can do to improve your sex life. The way you're thinking and feeling about yourself now has got to hurt your skills as a husband and lover, so change that for both you and your wife. If you want a fantastic sex life, use your brain; if you want a lousy one, keep obsessing about your genitals!

 

[testosterone1]

Well how do I negate the negative feedback on small penises on this board when at the same time people are telling me that, it not how big it is, it's how you use it or size doesn't matter. Heck yeah it does.Why when people tell me that size doesn't matter they immediately shift into learn to use your tongue and toys.That conflicts right there. In the same sentence they are saying that size doesn't matter,it is immediately followed by ways to compensate for it.
It doesnt' take rocket sciences to figure out that a woman would want more of a 6" length with a 5.5" girth.That is average. I am 4" x4". The 6 incher can do more positions, create much more friction where it counts by the girth. I have to be 100% erect to get 4.25".Most of the time it is less. Size obviously matters. But on the other hand this is a male ego issue because I've been married to my wife for 20 years and don't want to cheat.But with the male ego,it needs to know that penis can please a lot of women.Don't ask me why. I was born with this thinking.Everyone else is too.Some cultures make the guys with the biggest genitals the head of the culture.
BTW,I sent you a PM the other day.I thought your story was pretty excellent.Only a woman could write a story like that!

 

[testosterone1]

Your penis size is clearly an obsession for you, based on reading through all your previous posts on multiple threads. I'm not sure what other information you're looking for. . . it all sorts of reads like it's going to lead up to a sales pitch for some penis size enhancement product or something. lol


Of course there are women out there who are obsessed with large cocks, the same way there are guys out there obsessed with big tits. It is not the majority of women, and it's clearly not your wife.


Be grateful you have someone to make love to. Many people don't.

Sorry for the double post.Again, this obsession goes back to the male ego which is very fragile at times... No erection ED... guys get bumbed out.No sperm
count...guys get bumbed out, small testicles.. guys get bumbed out.Small penis,guys get bumbed out. You have to admit that I have a lot of things to deal with. It's like a ladies hair or take for example my hair.If I walk around outside and run errands and I need a hair but, I know that I look crummy and I don't like the way I look.One may argue that,so what..My wife likes my hair.But don't we all want to look good to everyone.THE PENIS IS THE NUMBER ONE MEMBER OF THE MAN"S BODY THAT IS DIRECTLY CONNECT TO HIS EGO.IN FACT IT IS THE ONLY MEMBER OF THE REMEMBER OF THE MAN"S BODY THAT IS CONNECTED WITH HIS EGO... Being ugly doesn't challenge our masculinity.Loosing a limb doesnt' challenge a guy's ego..Noo. It is the penis
that is the number one part of a guys body that he can draw his sexual confidants from besides, having a smaller penis and having confidence because you know what you are doing.That's where I get my confidence when I'm not having a terrible day like today.

 

[SweetErika]

Well how do I negate the negative feedback on small penises on this board when at the same time people are telling me that, it not how big it is, it's how you use it or size doesn't matter. Heck yeah it does.Why when people tell me that size doesn't matter they immediately shift into learn to use your tongue and toys.That conflicts right there. In the same sentence they are saying that size doesn't matter,it is immediately followed by ways to compensate for it.

The truth for most women is that size generally matters some, but not much in the grand scheme of things. Sure, it often matters if a cock is so small that penetration is (damn near) impossible, or if a cock is so big that sex is always painful and spontaneity is never an option. But size is of very little importance between those extremes for most people.

Confidence, oral and manual skills and openmindedness matter A LOT to A LOT of people. Having those things isn't about compensating, it's about focusing on what's most important. When you do that, often something that might be somewhat of a problem is further minimized. For instance, maybe you have a cock that's somewhat limiting, but holy fuck, you sure know how to use your mouth and toys! Those skills blow your partner away, and she actually gets more sheer pleasure out of oral and sex. You know this and can really focus on what you do have/are great at, which makes you confident and more attractive. Neither you nor your partner see you as a guy with a smaller cock; no, you're that guy who is just an incredibly skilled lover and leaves your lady totally satisfied every single time.

But on the other hand this is a male ego issue because I've been married to my wife for 20 years and don't want to cheat.But with the male ego,it needs to know that penis can please a lot of women.Don't ask me why. I was born with this thinking.Everyone else is too.Some cultures make the guys with the biggest genitals the head of the culture.

No, you were not born with this obsession and inferiority complex. You somehow got them along the way and have chosen to encourage them by rationalizing your negative thoughts and feelings.

Just because some cultures elevate large genitals and some men have insecurities doesn't mean you have to do the same. You can choose to think differently and feel better about yourself. You can choose to work on your issues and disconnect your genitals from your ego over rationalizing and reinforcing your irrational and destructive beliefs.

BTW,I sent you a PM the other day.I thought your story was pretty excellent.Only a woman could write a story like that!

Yes, thank you. I read it but I've been busy.

Sorry for the double post.Again, this obsession goes back to the male ego which is very fragile at times... No erection ED... guys get bumbed out.No sperm
count...guys get bumbed out, small testicles.. guys get bumbed out.Small penis,guys get bumbed out. You have to admit that I have a lot of things to deal with.

You generalize way too much. That's part of your problem. Just because some people feel some way doesn't mean everyone does, that it's healthy or that you should feel that way too.

Some women get really depressed and feel like they're not real women anymore when they have a mastectomy or hysterectomy. If a woman you loved had to have her breasts or reproductive organs removed, would you encourage her to feel like she's not a real woman? Do you think all women should feel less than when they have these surgeries or are born different from the norm? If not, then you can't logically argue your ego should be tied to your cock or that all men have cock-based egos.

THE PENIS IS THE NUMBER ONE MEMBER OF THE MAN"S BODY THAT IS DIRECTLY CONNECT TO HIS EGO.IN FACT IT IS THE ONLY MEMBER OF THE REMEMBER OF THE MAN"S BODY THAT IS CONNECTED WITH HIS EGO... Being ugly doesn't challenge our masculinity.Loosing a limb doesnt' challenge a guy's ego..Noo. It is the penis
that is the number one part of a guys body that he can draw his sexual confidants from besides, having a smaller penis and having confidence because you know what you are doing.

WRONG!

 

[A_Kefka]

From what I've seen most people haven't said learn other things because you are small. They have said learn other things because size doesn't matter, and the other techniques are the only way to please many (if not most) women. They have told you over and over that even if you were built like a porn star most women wouldn't get off on just being fucked. yet you still obsess about size.

Either listen to people when they tell you that for most it doesnt' matter, or stop listening to them at all. Sure, some women want large cocks, but if most say it doesn't matter then why are you worried about what a minority says. And anyway, it only matters what one person thinks, and you have said she is happy with what you have.

 

[mia_erotica]

Has your wife ever revealed any of her fantasies? For example what does she even like about you and your body? When I am fucking I think about how happy I am and how lucky I am to be with such a beautiful man. And then sex feels better and better, especially when I am in a submissive position and then...I'm done.

 

[PoeticMusings53]

No... No kidding. I give her great foreplay and bring her to climax rubbing her clit.Then because of my meds I have a bit of ED and loss of sesitivey, I give her missionary but that is totally for me.Then when my peter poops out, then She helps me come manually and sometimes I have to do it myself because it takes me so long to get an orgasm. My erection is so small when I am not fully erect. I'm talking 3.5".That sucks when I'm in her and I don't have a full erection.. Then I read about you guys..excuse the language...Then he fucked me hard, I had a vaginal orgasms G-spots because his penis hits must the right spot... lot's of intercourse here lots of intercourse there... then he slammed me there, he fucked me hard...etc. Yeesh The only thing I do is maybe 5 mins of wimppy intercourse and although she feels it and says it feels good,the intercourse is totally for my pleasure only. So when I look and read around this forum,it makes me feel inadequate because there is no real fucking involved with us.I am only 52 and I think I have the sexual performance of an 80 year old.It would be easier for me if I was longer because I really have to get real close and I doubt it would do much for anyone except my wife.So my ego gets shot.Its just me for 5-6 minutes of semi gentle missionary work and that's it.
Look I have other problems too. I have ED and it difficult to maintain an erection thanks to my blood pressure medicine.That is enough to cause men grief.. Who can afford viagra.It about $6 a pill with my insurance.
.My testosterone level started getting low because of age I guess.The doc put me on testosterone injections. My testicles are about half the size and an average guy.You may ask,"Hey,hows it hangin'?"
My answer would be,"sorry but their not." That is another blow to the male ego.We know my small size bugs me, some because of things written in this very forum can be very painful....for example a girl may go,"I have a boyfriend who I've been together with for over 1year. But he is not very well endowed and I can't feel it. What do I do?" I really don't know what she has to do but to me, it hurts me inside when I see stuff like that.That is not the only place I have heard girls complaining of small penises. So I got the size that brings me down.
And last buy not least, I have a zero sperm count.Some guys get vasectomies
and get bumbed out because they feel like they are shooting blanks and they feel inadequate.
So I have all these things to deal with at the same time.
Is she satisfied.yes. Am I satisfied yes. But my ego hurts me real bad some days and today is one of them.

Yeah, maybe 10% of women are size queens who would reject you for having a small dick; the rest are a lot more focused on things like connection, overall appearance, kindness, money, intelligence, erudition, social status and general levels of sexual satisfaction not directly correlated with penis size.

But do you know what virtually every woman will reject you for? Feeding them this teary-eyed bullshit AFTER a dozen different women have explained that you can overcome a slightly undersized dick.

 

[CWatson]

Sir, as someone who, like you, has a small dick, and furthermore one deformed by (as far as I can tell) Peyronie's disease; as someone who is a virgin at 25, putting me much farther below the average than your 4-inch penis does; as someone who experiences hours of biting urethral pain after ejaculation; and, as someone who has a very thin skin, has always been very sensitive, and is easily hurt by criticism, please allow me to share the following words of consolation:

GROW UP.

Yes, size matters to you. But it doesn't have to matter. We choose what our egos are founded on, what they are connected to, and what hurts or does not hurt them. In your case, you chose your below-average endowment. That's fair; you're allowed to do that. But is that smart? It's hurting you and it's disrupting your marriage. Perhaps there are better things to found your sense of self-image on.

What have you accomplished in your life? Where have you succeeded? What are you proud of? What's your salary?--hell, do you have a job? That's definitely something in this economy. Do you have the respect of your peers? Are you able to accomplish the goals you set for yourself? If you dropped dead this instant, how many people would come to your funeral? These are all questions whose answers may make you feel better about yourself than, "What is the size of my penis?". This is partially because those answers are likely to be more positive. It is also because those answers can be changed, which is more than can be said about your endowment.

We all have our crosses to bear. Mine is to be an obsessive-compulsive nerd who is attractive to, but not attracted by, conservative Christians, meaning I will never have sex until I marry and will never marry. Yours is to have a small penis and large insecurities. For Jon Snow, a fictional character from A Song of Ice and Fire, it was to be an illegitimate child born of wedlock during a war, to know his father but not his mother. For Tyrion Lannister, from the same series, it was to be a dwarf--barely four feet tall, with arms and legs too stunted to wield sword and shield or sit astride a stallion... which, during medieval times, was the only measure of a man's worth. (And let's not even talk about the size of his endowment.) And yet he had words of wisdom for Jon Snow, which I repeat to you here:

"Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armor yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you."

Would you like to stop being bothered by your small penis? Because the choice is, and always has been, yours.

 

[tisen]

While that's very sexist, I also think there's a kernel of truth to it. Sensitivity is not something your average American man is trained to. Instead, the ideal is that we're supposed to be so unstoppably manly and exude so much testosterone that the woman just melts. I mean, it's what we see on the cover of romance novels every day.

Sometimes, one wonders if our culture would continue espousing the values it does if anyone had stopped to THINK about those values for just one second.

bs, women want to act like men so that's why they don't have "woman orgasm" )

 

[satindesire]

bs, women want to act like men so that's why they don't have "woman orgasm" )

Excuse me, but WHAT?

Am I the only one who thought the above quoted piece made no sense?

 

[A_Kefka]

I'm with you satin, that was gibberish.

 

[Eilan]

bs, women want to act like men so that's why they don't have "woman orgasm" )

My dick is bigger than yours.

 

[CWatson]

The depressing thing is, his stupidity probably helps him get laid more than my brains help me. *sigh*

 

[mia_erotica]

Sorry it took so long for me to have another go. I was dusting off my air violin.

Learn to be a good fucker. Get her off with a dildo, wear a strap on, I don't know. Learn to lick correctly. Do it in the dark so she doesn't have to look at the wee thing. Make sure she is satisfied. And if she says she is then listen to her.

 

[pinkflames]

THE PENIS IS THE NUMBER ONE MEMBER OF THE MAN"S BODY THAT IS DIRECTLY CONNECT TO HIS EGO.IN FACT IT IS THE ONLY MEMBER OF THE REMEMBER OF THE MAN"S BODY THAT IS CONNECTED WITH HIS EGO...

My guy says I can cut his dick off before I can ever even think about trimming his beard!!!

When we are both in the mood my man can bring me to 20 good strong orgasms before he even unzips his pants. This is from biting my neck, sucking my nipples, licking my ears etc and is the reason I consider him the best lover I've ever had. Even so, the few times I've fluked vaginal orgasms during intercourse with him or others, they've been weak and nowhere near as physically satisfying as a clitoral orgasm. Even if I touch myself during intercourse, I find a fatter penis ruins my orgasm as it hinders my vaginal muscles from spasming. Throughout my sexual history I've always enjoyed penetration for the closeness and then liked to 'finish myself off' while my partner at the time held me close. My current partner and I also enjoy mutual masturbation, and oral sex immensely.

I agree with others who say that you really need to get over yourself. If you're not careful I could imagine this obsession of yours putting a real strain on your marriage.

 

[Julie_in_the_north]

Orgasms are orgasms. The different "types" refer to orgasms that result from primarily a certain type of stimulation. Orgasms from some types of stimulation might be more or less intense, longer/shorter or trigger different physiological responses, but they're still orgasms and one type isn't categorically superior to any other (though many women have their favorites).

This is very well put. All women's orgasms ultimately end up as they same thing, and the way people often talk about different 'kinds' of orgasm can be a confusing distraction.

During sex, none of this thing - ah, excellent, I'm having my x and y stimulated: I will now orgasm. The sensations women experience in the various parts of their genitals can be indistinct from each other. For me, and I think everyone - men and women - if it just feels really nice and sexy, I will come.

But what will feel nice in this way for a woman who's failing to orgasm? I don't think any two women are exactly the same. But as general rule of thumb - quite simply, the best starting place is the clitoris. For me, my clitoris is certainly my most direct route to an orgasm. But how does that fit into vaginal sex? This is the confusing bit. I come very freely while having my vagina penetrated, and I can usually also orgasm just by stimulation to my anus - in both cases with little or no contact at all with my clitoris. Why? The honest answer is - I don't know, apart from rather feebly saying that it feels, in different ways, nice.

Admittedly, this doesn't help very much. So all I can suggest is the very traditional advice of gentle, loving, generous, experimentation, in the case of a female partner who "can't" come. But if in doubt, start with the clitoris.

And as several people have said - the g-spot is a big distraction. Specifically trying to aim for that will be both frustrating for you both, and probably very unsexy, and even uncomfortable, for her.

 

[Reba67]

The size of your penis DOES NOT matter. The REASON that people will then change the subject to hands, tongue, toys, etc when you bring up the topic of a small dick is the fact that a huge majority of women don't get an orgasm from intercourse. We just don't. Forget about her orgasm during intercourse. Give her an orgasm however it needs to happen. Also forget about YOUR orgasm during intercourse. If you like intercourse, then that's great, but if it doesn't get you (or her) off, then work on something that DOES.

 

[testosterone1]

Has your wife ever revealed any of her fantasies? For example what does she even like about you and your body? When I am fucking I think about how happy I am and how lucky I am to be with such a beautiful man. And then sex feels better and better, especially when I am in a submissive position and then...I'm done.

The only fantasy she revealed to me is when we just started foreplay.Then she told me that she was fantasizing.She was fantasizing about me rubbing my penis against her clit and then all the juices began to run down her vagina. So I started doing what she said, and she liked it but it is kind of tough for me to orgasm because of two of the medications I have to take.I would have loved to have given her the full fantasy. She never told me any other fantasy because she must think she will be hurting me by telling me I suppose.

 

[Julie_in_the_north]

The size of your penis DOES NOT matter. The REASON that people will then change the subject to hands, tongue, toys, etc when you bring up the topic of a small dick is the fact that a huge majority of women don't get an orgasm from intercourse. We just don't. Forget about her orgasm during intercourse. Give her an orgasm however it needs to happen. Also forget about YOUR orgasm during intercourse. If you like intercourse, then that's great, but if it doesn't get you (or her) off, then work on something that DOES.

I'd echo that about penis size. For a start, their sizes vary, I'd argue, less than men tend to think. Erect, they're all in the same ballpark. Moreover, women don't really much notice any differences, vaginally. We feel the penetration predominantly at the front: there are few extra marks to be gained from being exceptionally big further inside.

But I'd dispute the suggestion that the man should forget about his own orgasm. I contend that sex is mutual, and a shared experience - not a service selflessly bestowed by one party to another. Sex is sexier when you both get off. Your partner's arousal, and impending orgasm, are arousing in themselves.

 

[Reba67]

I'd echo that about penis size. For a start, their sizes vary, I'd argue, less than men tend to think. Erect, they're all in the same ballpark. Moreover, women don't really much notice any differences, vaginally. We feel the penetration predominantly at the front: there are few extra marks to be gained from being exceptionally big further inside.

But I'd dispute the suggestion that the man should forget about his own orgasm. I contend that sex is mutual, and a shared experience - not a service selflessly bestowed by one party to another. Sex is sexier when you both get off. Your partner's arousal, and impending orgasm, are arousing in themselves.

I didn't say that he should forget about his own orgasm completely. What I said was forget about his own orgasm DURING INTERCOURSE.

 

[testosterone1]

Well here is the thing.I can only satisfy my wife with my learned foreplay.It is hard for me to have intercourse,I can only do it in two positions,missionary and with my wife in the missionary position and she has me laying on my side.These are the only 2 ways I can penetrate. I can't even do it doggy style because I am so short.This gets to me sometimes.But to tell you the truth I am bi, bi-polar that is.Most of the time I realize that my package is very small and it
doesn't bother me. I think I am pretty strong for all the problems I have.First it is my size 4" with a thick fat pad which leave me with 2-3" of real penetration potential.I have ED from my blood pressure medicine and viagra most of the time doesn't work. I have very small testicles.I started off with below size testicles and my testosterone replacement injections has made them even smaller.They and even before the injections,they never really hung.It seemed like they always stay close to my body and when I am warm,the chords are too short for them to hang all the way.I also have zero sperm count.Also because of medication it is very difficult for me to orgasm.Sometimes I can go for three weeks without one and that is with multiple times a day trying to masturbate.Now any one of these conditions can get a man down.But most of the time I am ok with them.Sometimes it all gets to me.Especially when the floor is cold and I'm all shriveled up.I have a little scrotum and my flaccid penis is real thin and well into my body.Looks like my package is as small as a 8 year old kid. It really does suck to have small equipment that doesn't work well.

 

[CWatson]

But to tell you the truth I am bi, bi-polar that is.Most of the time I realize that my package is very small and it
doesn't bother me. I think I am pretty strong for all the problems I have.

Okay, now that's what you should have started with. As you can see, we don't have too much patience with whining out here, but we give you more credit when you know you're whining.

 

[PoeticMusings53]

Looks like my package is as small as a 8 year old kid. It really does suck to have small equipment that doesn't work well.

"But do you know what virtually every woman will reject you for? Feeding them this teary-eyed bullshit AFTER a dozen different women have explained that you can overcome a slightly undersized dick."

Act like a man, accept the fact that you have a slightly undersized dick, get on with your life, and quit crying like an 8 year old. You have 2 threads totaling 9 pages going, all of them telling you the same thing, but you keep crying.

 

[testosterone1]

Well I had a good day yesterday. I did 100mg of The Blue pill and I swear I just about it the 4.5" mark.Then someone,I'm not sure if it was in this forum but,coached me on "it's the motion of the ocean." So I did some motion.I penetrated in as far as I could go and the next time I might have penetrated shallow.I did it fast then I did it slow.I was doing circles and mixed up fast, slow, shallow, deep.At the same time my wife grabbed her vibrator and stuck that on her clit while I was making the motion.She went nutz and after her orgasm she had a look of bewilderment on her face like she was saying,"What the heck was that." but in a good way while she was catching her breathe.I felt like I was 8" long.And what makes things even better was that it was spontaneous sex.It just happened.We didn't plan on it at all.
Hey what can I say? I'm a 4" stud