Women's Orgasms

[testosterone1]

With all the talk about vaginal orgasms, G-spot orgasms,deep vaginal orgasms,and clitoris orgasms, I am starting to get confused.
My wife does not get orgasms at all from her vaginal canal and during intercourse. I have not been able to find her G-spot and I have read that all women can't or don't have G-spot orgasms.I'm not sure if my wife is supposed to be having orgasms from intercourse.I'm guessing that some women have orgasms from intercourse because their clits are being pulled somehow. I have never given a woman an orgasm from intercourse..I don't believe because I have a small one. Can someone school me on all these different kinds of orgasms and is it possible that my wife is one of those that can't of don't have a G-spot orgasm.

 

[heartoftexasgrl]

Do you mean that you haven't been able to give your wife an orgasm during intercourse coupled with clitoral stimulation, or just with plain old intercourse?

 

[testosterone1]

I mean no orgasm with just intercourse only. No touching of the clit with her hands or my hands.

 

[SweetErika]

With all the talk about vaginal orgasms, G-spot orgasms,deep vaginal orgasms,and clitoris orgasms, I am starting to get confused.

Orgasms are orgasms. The different "types" refer to orgasms that result from primarily a certain type of stimulation. Orgasms from some types of stimulation might be more or less intense, longer/shorter or trigger different physiological responses, but they're still orgasms and one type isn't categorically superior to any other (though many women have their favorites).

My wife does not get orgasms at all from her vaginal canal and during intercourse. I have not been able to find her G-spot and I have read that all women can't or don't have G-spot orgasms.I'm not sure if my wife is supposed to be having orgasms from intercourse.I'm guessing that some women have orgasms from intercourse because their clits are being pulled somehow. I have never given a woman an orgasm from intercourse..I don't believe because I have a small one. Can someone school me on all these different kinds of orgasms and is it possible that my wife is one of those that can't of don't have a G-spot orgasm.

Something like 75% of women don't orgasm from intercourse or vaginal stimulation alone, so there's nothing odd about your wife not orgasming during intercourse. It's also not weird that your other partners haven't come from intercourse alone - that just means they were likely perfectly average AND honest with you. A lot of women who don't come during intercourse simply fake it.

And, no, your size shouldn't be a factor. Actually, smaller cocks can be advantageous for g-spot stimulation when their owners know how to use them to stimulate the g-spot (provided their partners like that type of stimulation).

Is your wife interested in g-spot stimulation? Has SHE found her g-spot, or even tried on her own?

It is possible your wife doesn't have a very sensitive g-spot, doesn't enjoy that type of stimulation, needs a special type of g-spot stimulation, or simply can't orgasm from g-spot stimulation. Anything's possible, and there are certainly plenty of women who fall into all of those categories. If she is interested in exploring g-spot stimulation, your best bet is to keep experimenting until you find something that works for her or she decides it's not her thing.

Be advised that her g-spot may be deeper than everything you've read has said - mine isn't that far up, but it's deep enough in my front vaginal wall that my husband's middle finger can just reach it. So, it seems like it's 3-4 inches in, even though it's more like a couple inches up and an inch or so toward my abdomen. I can't reach it with my own fingers, but it's easily accessible with toys, my partner's fingers, etc.

 

[testosterone1]

Boy thats' a lot of information and more complex than I ever thought. BTW 25 years ago when I was married to my ex-wife,I never did any foreplay because I
thought women felt as excited as men did just by penetration.I thought the more and faster I put it in, that would bring her to a climax.Either some miracle happened and I hit her g-spot from the get go with my massive 4" penis or she was faking it. When I married my second wife, there was no doubt(and I didn't have any about my first wife's orgasm)that my current wife was having orgasms because of all the involuntary muscle contractions and moaning and stuff. I didn't have a clue what I was doing in my first marriage.
But I thought there were three types of orgasms. The first kinds and the most common I thought was through the clitoris whether indirect or direct contact or indirect like a wide penis pulling on the clitoris indirectly via the lips of the entrance to the vagina. This is the kind of orgasm I fear and insecurities about. I feel that if she had a guy with a wider penis, that she could have a vaginal orgasm from the clitoris being pulled by the lips of the vagina from the bigger penis.
The second kind I thought was the g-spot.She doesn't know where her g-spot is. She really doesn't care if she has one or not but she didn't mind me so far probing around with one finger for it.She has yet to feel anything good from it.Also I might have even given her some pain probing.
The third kind was a spot that was in the back of the vagina near the cervix. I think this is something that I've rarely heard of on the internet.
Am I on the right track or am I wrong about this?

 

[horsie_gurl]

Okay what Erica said is exactly what I just got finished reading in a book. All orgasms are the same. The muscles in and around the vagina are all connected to the clitoris and they all cause the same kind of brain reactions and orgasm.

I have read a little about the g-spot and found that it really is only accessible after the woman is aroused. I have noticed this a bit myself. I can really only feel it when i am aroused and it becomes sort of like a lump on the front wall of the vagina and it gives me a different kind of stimulation. i'm not sure how to describe it other than in comparison the feelings i get seem deeper, stronger, and its harder for me to remain in control. Try arousal first and then search for it? then again maybe its too deep or not sensitive. But your description of penetration with your first wife sounds painful. I wouldn't suggest just slamming in there, nor would i imagine probing around before shes really lubricated and aroused. Ouch. Well good luck!

 

[Mr.G]

I don't doubt you read it in a book

but MUCH of the information written in many of the most quoted sex books out there today is either out and out WRONG or it catagorizes ALL women reacting in just one manor when stimulated a certain way.

All orgasms are the same.

From my TRY THIS thread and personal "research" not only is that wrong but silly in its simplistic generalization. As far as G-Gasms go lovers have explained in depth that not only is the G and A Gasms COMPLETELY different feeling than the clitoral O but even different finger/toy moves (up/down, side to side, tapping, snapping, round and round - they ALL produce very different feeeling orgasms.

Further, clitoral O's are GREAT and providing the stimulation which caused the orgasm in the forst place in maintained, the O can go on for minutes at a time. The clit then gets too sensitive to touch or even look at so there is a down time there.

The G-Gasm is a hole nuther story. They are described as bone crunchers - Full BODY orgasms that slam into the woman making her feel like she's been hit by a train (in a good way). The G and A do NOT get hypersensitive also. When the G-Gasm is finished a 30 second or one minute delay and the stimulation can continue with the same results!!! This can happen over and over and over again. Women who have never experienced this level of sexual arousal and orgasmioc frequency often find "GOD" , report out of body feelings and, later, enjoy a deeper bond with their lover as well as increased feelings of self confidence and sexuality.

I'm a Great fan of the G and A spots and the results, sadly, are not universal with all women but enough have learned how to G that it is worth trying.

 

[honeybites]

In simple terms, not many women will be able to have an orgasm from just simply being pounced and penetrated. In fact, sudden contact like that may make it harder for her to cum due to the high level of intensity right off the bat. She needs to work her way up to that high intensity, slowly. Women take much longer than men to get aroused. The outside of her vagina is much more sensitive than the inside, for the most part.

To start off, nevermind the g-spot. A much simpler way to bring her there is to play with her clit. Women get off on foreplay more often than intercourse from what I've seen. So lick your finger, gently rub the outside of her lips, work your way in and stay shallow. Caress, give her the time to enjoy it. The clitoris if you haven't already found is located at the top of where her labia (pussy lips) meet and is covered by a fold of skin (the 'hood'). Go easy and be gentle. Start slow. Rub, lick, try different directions and angles. Make sure there is some moisture or lubricant on your finger and it will feel even better. The faster you stimulate the clit, and not necessarily harder, the more intense the sensation will be for her.

I personally find I have a much greater chance of having an orgasm during straight intercourse after my clit has been aroused like I described. That's not to say you couldn't try and give her two.

Hope that helps.

 

[NippleMuncher]

It's as simple as this:

Figure out what gives your wife her "cookie" and do that BEFORE intercourse! I can tell you what works for my girlfriend, but that is not representative of the entire female population, in fact, that isn't even what worked with other women that I've been with, so the answer is still the same, you must figure out what works with the woman you're with.

The easiest means of this is to have an open communication BEFORE sex as to what she likes/dislikes and things that she'd like you to center in on. In lieu of that, you're relegated to reading her body language during foreplay to tell what is working and what doesn't. Again, I can tell you what works with my girl, but that doesn't help you with yours because she's got her own set of "keys", if you will.

If I were you, I'd be trying to instigate conversations outside the bedroom on what she likes/dislikes, and any fantasies that can be taken advantage of (in a good way ).

Good luck and report back as you find your path.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

From my TRY THIS thread and personal "research" not only is that wrong but silly in its simplistic generalization. As far as G-Gasms go lovers have explained in depth that not only is the G and A Gasms COMPLETELY different feeling than the clitoral O but even different finger/toy moves (up/down, side to side, tapping, snapping, round and round - they ALL produce very different feeeling orgasms.

Further, clitoral O's are GREAT and providing the stimulation which caused the orgasm in the forst place in maintained, the O can go on for minutes at a time. The clit then gets too sensitive to touch or even look at so there is a down time there.

The G-Gasm is a hole nuther story. They are described as bone crunchers - Full BODY orgasms that slam into the woman making her feel like she's been hit by a train (in a good way). The G and A do NOT get hypersensitive also. When the G-Gasm is finished a 30 second or one minute delay and the stimulation can continue with the same results!!! This can happen over and over and over again. Women who have never experienced this level of sexual arousal and orgasmioc frequency often find "GOD" , report out of body feelings and, later, enjoy a deeper bond with their lover as well as increased feelings of self confidence and sexuality.

I'm a Great fan of the G and A spots and the results, sadly, are not universal with all women but enough have learned how to G that it is worth trying.

This has been my experience but as a disclaimer, I'm epileptic and with a fucked up central nervous system. The A-gasm is achieved through anal play or intercourse, which may or may not be part of your repertoire. Not all women enjoy anal but I happen to love it, then again, I'm a kinky masochist so go figure.

You could always buy your wife a G spot toy and have her play with it while you watch. She should not be complacently waiting for you to figure all this out on her behalf, it's her body and her pleasure and she'll likely find her G spot before you do if you invest in an angled G spot toy that goes deeper than her fingers. Once she's discovered how her body responds to G spot stimulation, she can teach you what works for her.

Some women can only achieve clitoral orgasms so don't get discouraged or start feeling less than adequate if this voyage of discovery doesn't go anywhere. It's all about experimentation and if you can give your lady a good clitoral O then she should be perfectly satisfied with that.

 

[infinity706]

And, no, your size shouldn't be a factor. Actually, smaller cocks can be advantageous for g-spot stimulation when their owners know how to use them to stimulate the g-spot (provided their partners like that type of stimulation).

Well, size is somewhat a factor for me with prostate orgasms. I've found that an inflatable vibrator is the best method. Of course, we're talking about 5 inches in diameter to really get it blown up to the right size. (a large pornstar diameter cock is about 2 inches)

Women take much longer than men to get aroused.

Well, it's generally true, but women can be just as fast to get aroused and get off on direct clit stimulation. It just happens to be that some women can't handle having it touched immediately.

 

[testosterone1]

So let me get this straight and I remind you that I am 4" when erect with a 4" diameter.My wife says I have a 4 by 4. If I want her to have an orgasm though intercourse,I should get her excited first via her clit and then she will orgasm through intercourse when I switch over ?
Or do most couples just make sure someone is rubbing the clit at the same time as doing the intercourse?

 

[satindesire]

So let me get this straight and I remind you that I am 4" when erect with a 4" diameter.My wife says I have a 4 by 4. If I want her to have an orgasm though intercourse,I should get her excited first via her clit and then she will orgasm through intercourse when I switch over ?
Or do most couples just make sure someone is rubbing the clit at the same time as doing the intercourse?

Not necessarily, and here's why.

Personally, I reach orgasm much faster when I couple clitoral and vaginal stimulation at the same time. I prefer to use my vibrator when I'm having intercourse with my husband because it feels better. Granted, we've both gotten me getting off down to a science, he knows how I like it so it's gotten better and quicker over the years.

BUT! Not all women will enjoy clitoral stimulation at the same time as penile penetration, it's down to the individual woman. She may or may not have an orgasm during intercourse no matter if you're stimulating her clit or not. Even if it feels great, sometimes a woman just can't orgasm, you know what I mean? You'll just have to see if that works with your wife or not. No two women are the same when it comes to sex and orgasms.

Also, if she's not 'used' to the feeling of penetrative/plus clitoral stimulation at the same time, she might not orgasm because she's just not used to it at all. It takes time for a woman to get comfortable experiencing new sex acts, sometimes. As for me, I cannot orgasm at all through oral sex even though I enjoy it a great deal, and manual stimulation doesn't get me off at all. I actually did not ever have an orgasm until I bought a vibrator, no matter what I or any of my partners tried.

Most couples, I believe, make sure that someone is stimulating the woman's clitoris at the same time as penetrative intercourse. That way the woman can enjoy the act of intercourse more, and also have the potential to have an orgasm. Like I said, your wife may or may not have an orgasm during intercourse, it just depends on if she's capable of it or not.

 

[Mr.G]

First Off

TRY and get the idea of sex and JUST your dick outta your head. Some are too small. Some are too big. Yadda yadda yadda.

Have you ever heard of ORAL sex? SUCKING her clit not just bashing it with a finger while you fawk? Have you read the TRY THIS thread and played around. For heavens sake don't just flip her over, jam a thumb in and see if you can drill a hole therough her abdominal wall either. You need to slow down. ASK her what feels good (or BAD) good things you keep doing. Bad things you stop.

You're describing your love making skills as neandrathalic at best. Me have CLUB (ok a little club but ...)SMAKCK. Hey GOOD SEX HUH?"

Doesn't work that way. Women need to be built up, made LOVE to not drilled. That goes double if you ad a big dick too so get off that bus before it renders you dickless. Read the answers. Apply them. Don't even think about your dick for a while. You need to make HER feel good or you never will.

 

[man_4_milf]

I don't think.....

my wife can relax enough to have an orgasm regardless of the stimulation. When things get cranking for her she avoids the rapture and backs it down. Has neve had one in her life. True!

 

[infinity706]

So let me get this straight and I remind you that I am 4" when erect with a 4" diameter.My wife says I have a 4 by 4. If I want her to have an orgasm though intercourse,I should get her excited first via her clit and then she will orgasm through intercourse when I switch over ?
Or do most couples just make sure someone is rubbing the clit at the same time as doing the intercourse?

I think you mean circumference, not diameter. My thighs are only about 5 inches diameter and I'm a pretty big guy.

 

[esales]

There is no such thing as a "frigid" woman. Just an uncaring man.

 

[CWatson]

There is no such thing as a "frigid" woman. Just an uncaring man.

While that's very sexist, I also think there's a kernel of truth to it. Sensitivity is not something your average American man is trained to. Instead, the ideal is that we're supposed to be so unstoppably manly and exude so much testosterone that the woman just melts. I mean, it's what we see on the cover of romance novels every day.

Sometimes, one wonders if our culture would continue espousing the values it does if anyone had stopped to THINK about those values for just one second.

 

[sweet_escape]

There is no such thing as a "frigid" woman. Just an uncaring man.

That's true to a point, but both partners share the responsibility to communicate their needs in a relationship.

 

[satindesire]

Actually, there IS such a thing as a frigid woman. Scientists and doctors say that the spinal nerves simply do not connect in the genitals the proper way, making orgasm nearly or completely impossible for some women.

It's rare, but real.

 

[diamondgal22]

The best way to get an orgasm is to buy a massager. They always work. I like to use mine while we are having sex. It makes it more intense and the orgasms are so unbelievably awesome!!!

 

[testosterone1]

We do that too.Most of the time my tongue and fingers do the trick.But sometimes she ask for the vibrator to finish her off.We like to call the vibrator"the machine." TG for the machine. I always take care of my wife first with alot of nice foreplay using the clit.After she's done, for my sake and not her's, I do a little intercourse but my medicine keeps me from having an orgasm
in her. I usually have to finish myself off.More or less, with all kinds of variations, that is how our sex life goes.Does anyone else do something similar to this? BTW My wife can't have an orgasm with intercourse because we almost always use the missionary positions because of my small size and if I use an arm to massage her clit with intercouse, I would be putting all my weight on her boobs. But the intercourse really isn't important to her because when I do it, she is recovering from the orgasm she just had from the machine.She says the intercourse feels good but not great.Does this sound normal to you?

 

[bbwbrandie]

I always take care of my wife first with alot of nice foreplay using the clit.After she's done, for my sake and not her's, I do a little intercourse but my medicine keeps me from having an orgasm
in her. I usually have to finish myself off.More or less, with all kinds of variations, that is how our sex life goes.Does anyone else do something similar to this?

This is usually what happens with me and my boyfriend when there is no kink involved. He usually brings me to orgasm with clitoral stimulation, then a little intercourse. Then either he fucks me and comes on my back, stomach or face or if not that I either suck/jerk him off.

 

[Noira]

Stop obsessing over the size of your penis! Your penis size does not matter! Your wife is normal! STOP THINKING ABOUT YOUR PENIS AND READ THE POSTS, APPLY THEM.

There is nothing abnormal about your wife, OR your penis. Now stop thinking about it for two seconds.

D:

Seriously, it sounds to me like you guys have a perfectly normal sex life. Your wife doesn't orgasm without clitoral stimulation--normal enough. You guys mostly do missionary position sex. Normal enough. You don't have a 9 inch penis. Normal enough. Intercourse feels good but not great. Normal enough. Some women can simply not orgasm through intercourse, working her up with clit play and then leaving her when it feels good might just be a letdown. It's normal not to give women orgasms from intercourse, whether or not your penis is two inches, four inches, or ten inches.

You guys sound pretty normal to me.

 

[testosterone1]

No... No kidding. I give her great foreplay and bring her to climax rubbing her clit.Then because of my meds I have a bit of ED and loss of sesitivey, I give her missionary but that is totally for me.Then when my peter poops out, then She helps me come manually and sometimes I have to do it myself because it takes me so long to get an orgasm. My erection is so small when I am not fully erect. I'm talking 3.5".That sucks when I'm in her and I don't have a full erection.. Then I read about you guys..excuse the language...Then he fucked me hard, I had a vaginal orgasms G-spots because his penis hits must the right spot... lot's of intercourse here lots of intercourse there... then he slammed me there, he fucked me hard...etc. Yeesh The only thing I do is maybe 5 mins of wimppy intercourse and although she feels it and says it feels good,the intercourse is totally for my pleasure only. So when I look and read around this forum,it makes me feel inadequate because there is no real fucking involved with us.I am only 52 and I think I have the sexual performance of an 80 year old.It would be easier for me if I was longer because I really have to get real close and I doubt it would do much for anyone except my wife.So my ego gets shot.Its just me for 5-6 minutes of semi gentle missionary work and that's it.
Look I have other problems too. I have ED and it difficult to maintain an erection thanks to my blood pressure medicine.That is enough to cause men grief.. Who can afford viagra.It about $6 a pill with my insurance.
.My testosterone level started getting low because of age I guess.The doc put me on testosterone injections. My testicles are about half the size and an average guy.You may ask,"Hey,hows it hangin'?"
My answer would be,"sorry but their not." That is another blow to the male ego.We know my small size bugs me, some because of things written in this very forum can be very painful....for example a girl may go,"I have a boyfriend who I've been together with for over 1year. But he is not very well endowed and I can't feel it. What do I do?" I really don't know what she has to do but to me, it hurts me inside when I see stuff like that.That is not the only place I have heard girls complaining of small penises. So I got the size that brings me down.
And last buy not least, I have a zero sperm count.Some guys get vasectomies
and get bumbed out because they feel like they are shooting blanks and they feel inadequate.
So I have all these things to deal with at the same time.
Is she satisfied.yes. Am I satisfied yes. But my ego hurts me real bad some days and today is one of them.