Women's first time - did it hurt?

[Guest]

Your help, and experience, is needed. I enjoy writing first time stories, but only have my own and a close friend's experience to draw on.

I'm especially interested in that first moment of penetration - for me it was wonderful for the first inch or two, then I could feel him stretching my hymen and it tearing - it was a little sting, kind of like when you tear off a hangnail - and after a while it was very pleasant and nice and it's just gotten better since. There was a little blood afterward, but not much.

My friend says she didn't really feel much of anything. She says he was kind of thick and she was paying more attention to the feeling of him stretching her out than to anything else - and she didn't bleed.

I'm sure everyone's experience is a little different - I did a search and found a few descriptions, but really want to know more - so when I write my characters don't all have the same sensations when they are first penetrated.

Thanks for your help.

A member posting anonymously - just because I'm really shy about these things.

 

[Bandit58]

It was quite a few years ago now but I had to have my hymen surgically cut when I was 18 - it was quite thick and I couldn't even insert a tampon. No way would I have been able to have sex!

When I did eventually have sex I remember a stinging burning sensation, which did ease quite quickly. No blood, but I was a bit sore the next day. This was only a month or so after the surgery....

 

[Guest]

 

[lilpriss]

My first time I was so anxious about it, I just remember thinking, "hmm? this is kinda... err... I mean that was kinda fun..." then I asked my partner if that was it... It was over really fast.

I have a high threshhold for pain though so I don't remember much about that part of it.

 

[lovechild27]

yesh it hurt like hell...and not just the first time either.

 

[MsTerious]

Honestly? My first time wan't consentual, so it hurt like bloody hell!! My second time, although it hurt, was beautiful because we were in love. It was his first time (too) so he didn't know what he was doing either, and it hurt him as well. But it was still a wonderful experience. In fact, 15 years later, I'm still stuck on him, and he's married with kids now!

 

[Camilla]

My first time was a long time ago, but I do not recall any pain or any blood.

We were both kids. Maybe we didn't do it right.

 

[yuppietowngirl]

It hurt...burning is a good way of describing it. Even now it can hurt and that burning feeling comes back when I am exceeding tight (even after having a child...I have been told that I sometimes feel almost like a virgin). And yes there was blood but only a lil bit. I remember saying OWWW and he said "do you want me to stop" to which I said "no, the pain will go".

 

[Noneyabizness]

Your help, and experience, is needed. I enjoy writing first time stories, but only have my own and a close friend's experience to draw on.

I'm especially interested in that first moment of penetration - for me it was wonderful for the first inch or two, then I could feel him stretching my hymen and it tearing - it was a little sting, kind of like when you tear off a hangnail - and after a while it was very pleasant and nice and it's just gotten better since. There was a little blood afterward, but not much.

My friend says she didn't really feel much of anything. She says he was kind of thick and she was paying more attention to the feeling of him stretching her out than to anything else - and she didn't bleed.

I'm sure everyone's experience is a little different - I did a search and found a few descriptions, but really want to know more - so when I write my characters don't all have the same sensations when they are first penetrated.

Thanks for your help.

A member posting anonymously - just because I'm really shy about these things.

It was not painful from what I can remember, but I did bleed.

 

[vengefulvixen]

We used a condom and it had the lubricant on it, so it didn't hurt. It did cause me to start my period though (for the first time ever) so it got even more smooth to maneuver. I just kind of laid there while he did his thing. I remember feeling like it was in my stomach, because I'd never had anything so deep inside me. When he finished he said congratulations (??) and we dressed. Once I got past the blood on us and the mattress and stuff (quite embarrasing) I was fine. I was a little concerned about the blood so I told my mom about it (a doc) and she explained to me why it happened. So it was cool. Now though when I think about it I laugh because I remember thinking to myself, I wonder if his penis can actually feel my stomach?

 

[millieteases]

Hmmm - more like the stretching/burning thing - although I remember a little blood and I was sore the next day. I learned later that younger women don't always lubricate as much as older ones do - and he was really excited - so maybe it was because he was a little ahead of me.

Emotionally it was wonderful because we were really in love - at least as much as a couple of 17-year olds the night of the prom can be. (Why did my life imitate bad teenage movies?)

 

[lovetoread]

It hurt like hell.

I felt as if I was being ripped in two.

I bled enough for me to wear a pad for the rest of the day.

I am so freaking thankful that you never have to go through it again.

 

[PunkGrrl18]

oh shit! now i dont know if i want to loose my virginty after this thread.....

 

[TAKEMEE]

It started out ok but when he broke the hymen it was a quick sharp pain. The worst part was that I couldn't sit for several days. It was REALLY painful and I hated the guy for the pain. Never spoke to him again.

 

[lovetoread]

Heh...neither did I.

It kinda makes you feel sorry for the poor guy who takes the virginity...

Almost sorry anyway.

 

[The Dipsomaniac]

My girlfriend (well she was at the time) was very drunk the first time we did it... (and when she was still a virgin)... she was so horny begging me to have sex with her... It was pretty funny now i think about it... i didnt really want to have sex with her then... as she was too pissed, but she begged me, so i did. It didnt hurt her at all as a result!!!


DM

 

[The Dipsomaniac]

As a result next time we had sex, it didnt really hurt her at all, as we had broken her hymen while she was pissed!

I recommend alcohol for the first time!!! Can be very funny to!

 

[Ladybird]

I have a question of the ladies here.

All of you who talked about pain and bleeding when your hymen was torn. Had any of you used tampons previously?

What I'm getting at, is can you use a tampon and still keep the hymen intact?

My reason for asking, is that when I had sex for the first time, my hymen was already torn, and I had no pain or bleeding at all. I told my boyfriend (who later became my husband) that it was due to using tampons.

But, I have the knowledge without the memories, of my father molesting me repeatedly as a child. I now wonder if this was when my hymen was torn.

Sorry to hijack your thread unregistered, but perhaps any help the ladies can give me, may also assist your research.

Thanks everyone.

 

[Guest]

take that out

 

[lost]

It hurt the first time, at the age of 20, w/ my husband. I didn't have a hymen; I haven't got a clue what happened to it. Never used tampons either. It hurt the second time, the third time, the fourth,....
I thought there was something wrong w/ me. I asked the dr, there isn't. He apparently was just a bad lover, but I already knew that.

 

[TheSaxMan]

Sorry to intrude, but from those of you who had pain or problems, is there anything guys can do to help the first time go better for women? Being that I'm in love with a girl who's never had sex, I want to make sure that her first time is as good as it can be.

 

[LibrarianByDay]

I'd make sure that you had some lubricant on hand. I found out the hard way that I react poorly to condoms (I dry right up) and that can be very painful. Apparently this is fairly common, and since she won't know if that could happen to her since it's her first time, be prepared.

I also think all the foreplay you can give her would be wise (and thoughtful). Make sure she's had at least one orgasm so she has the benefit of all those endorphins working in her favour. And it wouldn't hurt to have some digital stimulation as part of that. Finger her, starting out with one, and slowly working your way up and let her get used to having something in there.

If you want to be truly considerate, have some towels (and even some warm wet cloths) handy for clean up. Even if she doesn't bleed, she may want to tidy up afterwards.

Personally, my first time wasn't painful or bloody. I have no idea if I'd already torn my hymen through use of tampons (if it's determined that that's possible) or from being fingered. I don't remember any time where there was blood. I was mildly baffled at the time, having heard all the horror stories, but didn't think about it much considering myself fairly lucky.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

I'd say I had a great first time.
Both me and my lover were virgins, and he was more nervous about the pain than I was.
It hurt, more than when you have your period, but less than when your toes or calves cramp.
He paused, and let me get used to the feeling of having him inside of me, and then he asked if he could go on, and I said yes, and the pain died off after a couple of seconds.
I didn't bleed then, but the second time we did it, I did bleed. But by then it didn't hurt.

I've never been with such a considerate virgin after that...

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Sorry to intrude, but from those of you who had pain or problems, is there anything guys can do to help the first time go better for women? Being that I'm in love with a girl who's never had sex, I want to make sure that her first time is as good as it can be.

In most cases, it WILL hurt. No matter what you do. It's part of life. You don't have to pamper her like a baby, and without trying to be rude to Librarian, I think warm, wet towels is overdoing it. We're not talking about an operation here, and me, I' be offended if the guy wanted to clean me up afterwards, as if I had been dirty and disgusting to him.

My suggestion is that you talk to her and get her to talk to you. Cuddle. Caress. Kiss. Lick. Give her compliments on how beautiful she is and how good it feels to be with her. Ask her if this feels good for her, if that turns her on, etc. Go slow.

In short, try to imagine how you'd want her to treat you if you had been a virgin and it had been the men who felt pain the first time their cocks were used.

 

[GreenEyedGodess]

It hurt like hell!!!!!!!!! my lover was really insensitive, and just sort of jammed himself in there. I cried and there was alot of blood, there's still a stain on the carpet of my best friend's dorm room. I was sore for a week afterwards.

But seriously after the first time, it's been great!