Widows and widowers 2

[Ssbbw4u1974]

Tomorrow will be 4 years.
NGL, I'm a bit, depressed.. Depression is a strong word... I'm not my normal chipper self today...
4 years still feels like 1. I guess grief is like that...
I'm in a good place in life, I have no complaints, but, yesterday was the 4th, and that was a special event for us...

 

[bouldghirl]

Don’t be depressed. You have your happy memories. Hold onto them and appreciate them for what they are.

 

[B2fromA2looking4U]

My therapist showed me this image. I found it helpful as going on 3 years.

 

[Strixaluco]

I just met one cousin (who lives in another country) for the first time in maybe twenty years. She's almost a generation older than me, but has been widowed more recently than me. It was very clearly difficult for her still, though the final happening had been a relief, too.

 

[Erosfan]

I’m sorry for your loss. I started this thread after my wife died (3years this month) from a rare cancer. I found some books on grief that helped me get through the first 2 years. I also joined a local group of widows and widowers which would get together and do things such as dinner out on the weekends. The one book that helped me was “The sixth stage of grief”. I found a mission or purpose which was to help other widows and widowers stay active and mainly to listen to them.

I also learned a valuable lesson in grief:
Pace- each of us grieves at our own pace and don’t let anyone say you need to move on.
Space- sometimes we just need time away from others. Once I had a meeting planned and in the morning I realized I couldn’t handle it. So I canceled it.
Grace- always give yourself grace as we all grieve differently. And give others grace as our society doesn’t know what to say or do for those ġrieving.

We are here to support you.

Your "valuable lesson in grief" is perfect.
It is ours to deal with in our own way. Your thoughts on Space and Grace are spot on. Thank you for sharing.

 

[chairmanb]

I wouldn't mind moving but am in a situation where my mortgage for my house is so low that to even rent a tiny apartment in something that wasn't sketchy would be at least twice what I pay now. I'm okay with staying as is for now and traveling instead. Eventually (I figure another 10 years or so) I'll move in with one of my daughters. When my husband died, they argued over who would get to have me live with them. Kind of nice to be fought over but I wasn't ready to be thrust into boisterous households full of kids and animals. I already did that. Plan B is to sell my house and spend a couple months a year living with each of my 4 children and spend the rest of the time traveling. I don't know. As far as being attached to the house because of my deceased spouse, the memories are in my head and heart and all the photos and videos I have. The structure doesn't matter and he would want me to keep on living.

I am in WIsconsin and tired of being alone its been 1 1/2 yrs now