Why does it seem like all chicks are "bi" now?

[SexySparkles]

It's like all girls say they're bi now just because they know it'll get them attention from guys.

Me, I'm attracted to girls, I've done stuff with girls, but I don't consider myself bi. To me, being bi means that you could end up marrying and spending your life with someone of either sex. Not just that you kissed a chick once.

 

[Spenser41]

You know I have kind of wondered the same thing. I too have run into many women that are bi. Many married swingers will only do it with a couple of a bi woman. I have no idea what is going on. There was a woman I dated for 2 yrs and she always had the desire to be with a woman instead. Many women say that have been treated so badly by men that they think being with a woman would be better. So.... beats me!

 

[Monazwx]

Best of both worlds?
(even if it is a misnomer)

Or, can one be bi-sexual without even ever having acted on those feelings?

 

[SexySparkles]

I understand being attracted to girls and wanting to do stuff with them. I want to have sex with a chick. But I still don't consider myself to be bi.

 

[Spenser41]

HUH?

Ok Sexy now you are confusing me. From what I thought BI means is that you desire both men and women. If you have been thinking about it and never done it and want to see what it is like, that is being curious. But if you desire women and men, then you are bi. Unless things have changed and no one told me. LOL, which that could be true as well.

 

[SexySparkles]

But to me being bisexual means that you could end up being a life partner with either a male or a female. To me, I could never end up with a female. It's just a sex thing.

 

[Spenser41]

Well I started to say something more about this but I guess since I am as straight as they cum, I can't help you with this. I would say if you end up with a woman you are a lesbian and if you end up with a man you are straight. If you still desire another man or woman while either with a man or a woman, then you would be bi.
Man... my head hurts... lol

 

[Ms_Lilith]

I would say if you end up with a woman you are a lesbian and if you end up with a man you are straight.

wrongo. I'm bi. I've been with both men and women, and I've loved both men and women. You don't need to be in love with a woman in order to be considered bi. Bisexual means that you are attracted to both genders. Some straight women like to fuck men, but could never imagine loving one, and ending up married to one, but they're still straight. I would consider you bi.

 

[ExtacyCouple]

It's called Bi "sexual" for a reason not bi "I am looking for a life partner of either gender". If you are willing to have sex with someone from both genders your bisexual. But don't worry, it's not such a bad thing.

 

[Spenser41]

Ok, So I did answer that right. If you are interested in having sex with both men and women you are bi. YEA I WAS RIGHT FOR ONCE! ( I was, wasn't I?)

 

[Wiggles]

.

 

[SexySparkles]

I'm just saying in my opinion. Because it's so annoying when girls are like "I'm bi! I kissed a girl once!" Just to get attention from guys.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

I'm just saying in my opinion. Because it's so annoying when girls are like "I'm bi! I kissed a girl once!" Just to get attention from guys.

I agree with that statement, but that is a different issue from your classification of bi in the next sentence of your first post.

Girls who pose suck. Guys who pose suck, too.

Just cus a girl has kissed another girl doesn't make her bi, BUT a girl who has kissed, and has a genuine interest in kissing again, and perhaps going further, is most certainly bi, or at least bi-curious. If there is an interest in the woman, or the acts with a woman, as well as those same things with men, there is bisexuality.

 

[PhxPlay4n6]

I'm just saying in my opinion. Because it's so annoying when girls are like "I'm bi! I kissed a girl once!" Just to get attention from guys.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and I think you have a very valid point. Being bi is perceived as trendy in certain social circles now, and some girls do it for the attention. I know one group of girls that purposely kisses each other at the bar so tons of guys will congregate around them...it's just their way of getting attention, they'd never do anything else with a girl in their life.

However, being bisexual is a mindset to me. You can be bisexual and never have even acted on your feelings. If you fantasize about the same sex and use that fantasy in more than a passing way to get you off, I would consider that bisexuality. The fact is that society has invented these labels in order to help classify people into certain sexual groups, but honestly, everyone has their own sexual mind and no one can say what's right and what's wrong, unless you act on those feelings in a damaging way to yourself or others.

My main problem with the whole bi thing is not those girls that kiss each other to get attention, they're teases anyway and most normal guys will spot that right away. My issue is with those people who hold up bisexuality as some sort of Girl Scout badge that somehow makes them more "alternative". Just because you've gone down on a woman a few times doesn't automatically give you a perspective on what it's like to be a lesbian. There's a whole community that you can't just claim to be a part of because you've gone down on a woman a few times while you were drunk.

 

[dagnyt]

This thread came at a perfect time for me. I have been wondering about this issue myself. I have never been sexually involved with a woman. Until recently I have never even thought of another woman in a sexual way. Even now, the only time I think I'd want to be with a woman is if a man was involved too (threesome..duh! )

I mentioned this to a friend of mine who happens to also be a lesbian and she is convinced that I am repressing my sexual intgerest. She thinks that if I just tried sex with a woman I would find it fulfilling in a way that I have not had with a man and it would be a life-changing event. If I try to disagree with her she says I'm being defensive. I disagree. I still have a very strong desire to be with men and the thoughts I've had about sex or sexual situations with women have all been transient and nothing I've been moved to act on.

Now, what does this mean for me? Am I bi? Am I bi-curious? Am I straight with bi tendencies? Am I straight with natural curiosity? Or am I, as my friend seems to think, a full out lesbian?

I always figured I knew myself better than anyone. It really upset me to think that a friend of mine thinks I"m "hiding" the truth from myself.

 

[Ms.M]

This thread came at a perfect time for me. I have been wondering about this issue myself. I have never been sexually involved with a woman. Until recently I have never even thought of another woman in a sexual way. Even now, the only time I think I'd want to be with a woman is if a man was involved too (threesome..duh! )

I mentioned this to a friend of mine who happens to also be a lesbian and she is convinced that I am repressing my sexual intgerest. She thinks that if I just tried sex with a woman I would find it fulfilling in a way that I have not had with a man and it would be a life-changing event. If I try to disagree with her she says I'm being defensive. I disagree. I still have a very strong desire to be with men and the thoughts I've had about sex or sexual situations with women have all been transient and nothing I've been moved to act on.

Now, what does this mean for me? Am I bi? Am I bi-curious? Am I straight with bi tendencies? Am I straight with natural curiosity? Or am I, as my friend seems to think, a full out lesbian?

I always figured I knew myself better than anyone. It really upset me to think that a friend of mine thinks I"m "hiding" the truth from myself.

Sweetie, if you reread your own words I think you have answered your own question, you are straight with a little natural curiosity. I don't think you are being defensive, its sounds like she maybe projecting her own wishes and desires on to you.

 

[ozraven]

...............................

Girls who pose suck. Guys who pose suck, too.

.....................................

What's the pose I should be looking for?

I like girls that suck

 

[Tungwagger]

This thread came at a perfect time for me. I have been wondering about this issue myself. I have never been sexually involved with a woman. Until recently I have never even thought of another woman in a sexual way. Even now, the only time I think I'd want to be with a woman is if a man was involved too (threesome..duh! )

I mentioned this to a friend of mine who happens to also be a lesbian and she is convinced that I am repressing my sexual intgerest. She thinks that if I just tried sex with a woman I would find it fulfilling in a way that I have not had with a man and it would be a life-changing event. If I try to disagree with her she says I'm being defensive. I disagree. I still have a very strong desire to be with men and the thoughts I've had about sex or sexual situations with women have all been transient and nothing I've been moved to act on.

Now, what does this mean for me? Am I bi? Am I bi-curious? Am I straight with bi tendencies? Am I straight with natural curiosity? Or am I, as my friend seems to think, a full out lesbian?

I always figured I knew myself better than anyone. It really upset me to think that a friend of mine thinks I"m "hiding" the truth from myself.

I've had gay guys saying I was in denial because I admitted having curiosities but never saw the guy that I could genuinely say "yeah, I could do him".

Everytime the thought comes into my mind, it's always a man without a face. That tells me that it's more the taboo of the situation in my mind or the thought of the act, more than the person.

I have yet to see a man I was attracted to sexually.

I think that curiosities are just curiosities until one acts upon them.

 

[Lancecastor]

Girls who pose suck.

Strike the pose, I say!

"Two grrls for every boy." ~Surf City, The Beach Boys

 

[Guest]

 

[SexySparkles]

Right... It's just something say to be popular now. Like I'll admit on here that I'd like to mess around with girls and stuff. But like I don't run around school telling people I'm bi.

 

[LukkyKnight]

...after all, they're only labels.

Exactly, it isn't as if every case of touching is a statement on one's sexuality, but I can state with confidence that not every woman is bi even if some do use the term for attention.

 

[dagnyt]

thanks

I just wanted to thank everyone who responded to me here I never thought I would "lie" to myself AND I thought I was pretty secure in my sexuality. Now I feel like I wasn't wrong and I can just ignore my friend.

Oh, and to add a little more to the original topic, I definitely agree that it's kind of obnoxious for all these women to suddenly "be" bi just to get guys to look at them. It's ridiculous. And I also think it's an insult to people who truly are bi. How is anyone supposed to take someone who is bi seriously if there are all those posers out there?

 

[peachykeen]

am wondering why everyone is so concerned with what other people choose to call themselves...who cares? Call yourself what you like, what bearing does it have on with whom I sleep?

 

[dagnyt]

am wondering why everyone is so concerned with what other people choose to call themselves...who cares? Call yourself what you like, what bearing does it have on with whom I sleep?

I know I'm still kind of new here, so forgive me if I don't make sense

I think I might be able to answer this though. Instead of thinking of it as a sexual label type issue, try to think of it in other terms. Maybe in more "sensitive" issues like race or discrimination. I know that my step-father's Italian family wouldn't appreciate someone pretending to be Italian if they really weren't. Or someone claiming they're Native American but really they aren't. I think it's the same type of thing. Most of us identify with certain groups (although Kate Bronstein did a good job of explaining why that isnt' always a good thing *grin*). Whether using labels is good or not is kind of irrelevant because people do use them. People use them on others and they use them to identify themselves. So I can see where it would bother someone who identifies with a particular group to be offended when someone else who is "pretending" identifies with that group just to be "cool".

Hope that made sense!