Why Do People Like Pain?

[TaintedB]

Brinnie:
You are your worst enemy.

Look in the mirror.

Get the FUCK out of the bdsm forum you GB TROLL before we beat the living daylights out of you. Go pursue your idiocy where it is well appreciated. (very disgusted look)

 

[HawkEye38]

When I feel pain it lets me know I'm still alive. Of course there is such a thing as getting too much of being alive, but I love mixing being alive with sex

 

[h_i_s]

Some like some forms of pain, some like others. Everyone has varied limits to what they will tolerate and for many, over time as the extremes might vary, the tolerance levels, in many cases, increase.

When i first met my Master, He asked me to describe what types of sensual experiences and forms of pain i enjoy. i answered Him in explaining, simply put, that i had no idea, as i hadn't experienced anything at all, but that i was very open minded. We started out very slowly. He was/is very patient with me.

He started with very light spankings which by the second or third spank of His hand upon my ass, to His pleasure, i was highly aroused and very wet. We both love that effect. Even though His spankings were very light at first, my ass would welt up in minutes, leaving red mottled specked patterns that would last at least several days. As the spankings became harder over time, i do not mark quite so easily, much to both of our dismay. He admires those markings as much as i. Many times there are the physical marks to enjoy for a day or two, as well as the short lived sensations involved. We both take pleasure in these spankings, my pleasure is always directly related to knowing that i have pleased Him so well in my submission, and tolerance.

There are many types of pain. Over time i am learning to enjoy it more, and crave greater extremes. As much as i enjoy pain, if i stub my toe, or get a minor paper cut, i may scream out every profanity i know, but i don't become dripping wet in my own arrousal.

i know that my reactions to pain also feed His arrousal. Many times He enjoys pushing my limits, pushing a little bit more pain my way than He might have the last time He spanked, or yanked my hair, or trailed the Wartenburg wheel over my tender skin, or fisted me, etc ect. Each time leaves me wanting for more.

i know that He enjoys the visuals, as i twist and wiggle and claw at the sheets, or entwine my fingers tightly around the chains of the cuffs as i try not to yell out or moan too loudly (don't need the neighbors to worry, or the cops to knock on our door here). Other times it's my muffled whining and whimperings muffled by the ball gag, as well as the strings of drool that pool and then drip a trail from my chin to my breasts that give Him pleasure.

Much of the pleasures i experience in receiving pain from Him, are due to knowing that i have served Him well as His little 'pain-slut toy' & have pleased Him by giving Him all that He demands of me.

D/s, not at all unlike S&m, is a pleasurable and mutual exchange of give and take, with one partner's pleasures, desires, and needs always cycling back in answer to the other's.

 

[TaintedB]

When I feel pain it lets me know I'm still alive. Of course there is such a thing as getting too much of being alive, but I love mixing being alive with sex

But what about feeling pleasure? Doesn't that let you know you're still alive too?

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Hmm, I'm wondering though, if you're never wrong, how does K punish you?

If you think pain only comes to you from punishment, you have one big eye opening experience in front of you.

 

[Marquis]

If you think pain only comes to you from punishment, you have one big eye opening experience in front of you.

Only one?

 

[Kingterp]

I dont like pain I like to give it out to others

 

[Aeroil]

If you think pain only comes to you from punishment, you have one big eye opening experience in front of you.

Good point AA.
Too bad it doesn't have much to do with mine though.

 

[Bandit58]

I've never been "punished", but I've been spanked (with hand, ruler, paddle and strap), had my nipples pinched and twisted, and had my pussy spanked with His hand and my own. All these times I was very sexually aroused or actually cumming and pain as such did not register

These things if done to me with NO arousal would be extremely painful and the safe word would come out pretty damn quick. Master has yet to find my spanking limits, every time He does it I seem to be able to take more and have developed a craving for it if I am denied for a few days if He is ill.

I have discovered that pain is in the perception of the spankee

 

[YinandYang]

Brinnie:
You are your worst enemy.

Look in the mirror.

I think you are jealous of Brinnie....at least she is not scared to ask questions

Brinnie....keep the questions coming

 

[esclave_PP]

Also, for some people the pain and pleasure parts of their brain is flipped Brinnie.

These people feel nothing but ecstasy when they are cut, burned or beaten, but cringe at the thought of a massage, and run in terror from warm baths and tummy rubs.

Can you imagine how horrible sex would be for these people if they didn't have nice partners who would make them feel pain while fucking them?

I couldn't agree more! Well said.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Good point AA.
Too bad it doesn't have much to do with mine though.

Oh really? Well, if you plan on never doing anything wrong and succeed, i guess you might have a point. If your Mistress never plans on disciplining you, you might have another. Or better still, if you never plan on dancing with a Mistress like Netzi, perhaps.

Glad you have your life all mapped out ahead of time.

 

[Marquis]

Oh really? Well, if you plan on never doing anything wrong and succeed, i guess you might have a point. If your Mistress never plans on disciplining you, you might have another. Or better still, if you never plan on dancing with a Mistress like Netzi, perhaps.

Glad you have your life all mapped out ahead of time.

LOL

This is the problem I see with people who discover BDSM through the internet. They spend so much time researching it that they figure out exactly what they think they want as subs before they realize that at the end of the day they actually have to submit to someone!

 

[laurel-marie]

LOL

This is the problem I see with people who discover BDSM through the internet. They spend so much time researching it that they figure out exactly what they think they want as subs before they realize that at the end of the day they actually have to submit to someone!

I will admit to researching the subject to death and finding out reading about it and doing it are two different things.
I also found out that the actual act of submission really cannot be put into words. It it emotions, sensations, an essence of being. It is more then I ever realized and I am glad because words are finite, but this act of submission is infinite.

 

[Marquis]

I will admit to researching the subject to death and finding out reading about it and doing it are two different things.
I also found out that the actual act of submission really cannot be put into words. It it emotions, sensations, an essence of being. It is more then I ever realized and I am glad because words are finite, but this act of submission is infinite.

Gold.

 

[YinandYang]

LOL

This is the problem I see with people who discover BDSM through the internet. They spend so much time researching it that they figure out exactly what they think they want as subs before they realize that at the end of the day they actually have to submit to someone!

Oh I remember this well! From having fantasies in my head where the Dom would do exactly as I wished ....to reading on the net....and still the Dom would do to me what I wished ....to experiencing it in real life and thinking 'Shit!' this other person is real and actually has an opinion of his own! Then the journey began....and NOT as I always imagined it would be

 

[TaintedB]

Also, for some people the pain and pleasure parts of their brain is flipped Brinnie.

These people feel nothing but ecstasy when they are cut, burned or beaten, but cringe at the thought of a massage, and run in terror from warm baths and tummy rubs.

Can you imagine how horrible sex would be for these people if they didn't have nice partners who would make them feel pain while fucking them?

LOL, funny message. You altruistic sadists, you. Well, I'm now going to ruin it by replying seriously to it.

I don't think my pain and pleasure centers are flipped. Pain hurts and pleasure feels good to me. What I ultimately get off on is the perversity of being forced to experience awful pain. I have a big fetish for imbalance, unfairness, and pain, especially unwanted pain, is very unfair.

 

[esclave_PP]

LOL, funny message. You altruistic sadists, you. Well, I'm now going to ruin it by replying seriously to it.

I don't think my pain and pleasure centers are flipped. Pain hurts and pleasure feels good to me. What I ultimately get off on is the perversity of being forced to experience awful pain. I have a big fetish for imbalance, unfairness, and pain, especially unwanted pain, is very unfair.

Tainted, I like how you think. Is there such a thing as an altruistic sadist? LOL perhaps. I agree with you. My centers are not flipped. Pain is painful. Pleasure is pleasurable. The two DO mix however.

It helps to have a Sadist who knows what they are doing. I enjoy being gifted with pain. It heightens my pleasure. What I get off on is that force too, but more so, giving pleasure to my Master.

From the Iron Gate:

Freud described masochism as a perversion; there are those that followed in his footsteps that linked masochism to such things as cannibalism, necrophilia, vampirism, and the criminal mind. A Dr Richard von Kraft-Ebing in 1876 placed masochism under the heading of “general pathology,” so in the late 1800’s masochism became viewed as a pathological behavior, a sexual and psychopathic phenomenon as well as criminal deviant behavior all at once. It became the focus for many papers, writings and books. It also became the focus of much controversy, and many heated discussions. Since it was viewed as a sickness, the “cure” depended on the cause of the illness. If it were a chemical imbalance then perhaps Valium or any number of opiates would help. If it were a learned behavior then perhaps shock therapy would be the answer. If it were a result of mental defect then perhaps simply locking the individual away from society where they would suffer in silence and not spread their sickness to anyone else would have been an acceptable answer.

While this explanation for masochistic behaviors is the most common even within today’s society it is by no means the oldest. The term masochism was created by Kraft – Ebing and was first published in his book “Psychopath Sexualize” of 1876. Leopold von Sacher – Masoch the Australian author of “Venus in Furs” was the original “Masochist”. Just as the Marquis De Sade was the original “Sadist”. It was Freud that originally termed the phrase Sadomasochism, linking the two “sicknesses” together as the opposite sides to the same coin.

Thousands of years prior to the terming of Sadism and Masochism there was a tradition of self “penance” rising up amongst the religiously devout. Several religions accepted physical chastisement as a means of showing ones true spiritual side. Zen Buddhist masters would awaken the student to a higher plain of consciousness by the application of a rod. Monasteries and Convents were rich with those desperate to suffer, as a means to prove their devotion.

Saint William, Saint Rudolph, Saint Dominic, Saint Teresa and The Carmelite nun Caterina of Cardona are just a few of the well established masochists of their day. Monks would regularly walk in precessions through the cities of Europe, beating them selves with rope, rods, switches or any number of implements, these individuals became known as flagellants. Sometimes numbering in the tens of thousands they would march in union, singing hymns and throwing themselves upon the consecrated grounds of the church, their backs a mass of raw flesh, their whips dripping with blood held high in spiritual ecstasy. From the Franciscans, to the Jesuit, from the Dominicans to the Catholics each religion touched on a piece of this euphoric release of secular bindings.

While these actions ran rampant in Europe, the Native American culture of North America had its own influence in the history of Masochism. The O-Kee-Pah or Sun Dance was feared and forbidden by the white man’s law due to its graphic and abusive nature. A young warrior would pierce his chest or back with two metal, bone or stone hooks, these hooks were attached by rope to a tall pole, the young warrior would then be hoisted into the air, suspended by the hooks and would remain so until the hooks tore through his flesh. Sometimes this ritual would take hours, sometimes it would take days; the length of time was irrelevant, in the end the result was always the same, a prolific vision that enabled the visionary to get just a glimpse into the world of the god.


The history of masochism or self-mutilation is vast and by no means have I covered even a small portion of these rich and wondrous origins. Each culture, religion, country and race has had some taste of masochism within the pages of its history. I encourage each individual to research on his or her own the true history of this rich tradition.

While researching the history of Masochism I found many truths as well as some disturbing ideals. The common definition for masochist is “an individual that derives pleasure from receiving pain”. While this is a basic almost rudimental definition it seemed to be the only common factor amongst the hundreds of pages of information that I came across. While the explanation of what masochism is seems rather simple; the why is apparently a much more difficult question.



There are many theories as to why someone derives pleasure form pain; each theory looks at a different portion of pain or pleasure in an attempt to explain the attraction between the two.



Some theorists state that we learn to be masochistic from early childhood. We receive pain (discipline) from those that we love, specifically our parents or guardians; hence we associate pain and love together. Other theorists state that we seek out physical pain as a means to rectify some subconscious need to punish ourselves for our success in a world surrounded by suffering. While still others say that it is the forbidden or taboo nature of masochism that attracts individuals into its formidable grasp.



I have discussed this topic in length with several self-acclaimed masochists, and each person had a unique and individualistic reason why they enjoyed pain. As I spoke to these extremely different individuals I became aware that the differences go much deeper than just how they became to be a masochist, the reasons they are currently a masochist and what pain is to them…or more specifically what it does for them was also a unique. I did however notice that even though they each had a unique relationship with pain, each one had a basic foundation in which they built this relationship.



It is my speculation that there is not a singular type of masochist, but rather multiple sub-categories within the realm of masochism. At this point I have identified five separate types of masochist.



Social Masochism – These individuals desire to have pain inflicted upon him or herself as a direct result from the guilt of being rich and powerful in a world surrounded by suffering and poverty. This is where you will find many of the CEO’s, Presidents of companies, Ambassadors, Politicians, and Lawyers even Doctors. These individuals are more than willing to pay a Dominant to inflict pain on their person in an effort to relieve themselves of the guilt and self-hatred of having so much while others have so little.



Religious Masochism – This group is the most historic in nature, as stated previously the history of religious masochism goes back centuries before Christ. Many individuals within this category believe that pleasure is the pathway to Hell and hence pain and suffering must be the pathway into Heaven. These individuals desire to have pain inflicted upon them in an attempt to achieve a higher more sacred or spiritual connection with the universe. They seek to show devotion to a higher spirit and show that they are not bound to this world of pleasure and debauchery.



Emotional Masochism – These individuals desire to have physical pain inflicted upon themselves in an effort to replace emotional pain with physical pain; drawing to the surface deep subconscious pain or turmoil and allowing it to go from the non physical realm and force it into the physical realm. As they feel the physical pain they allow themselves to release the emotional pain, when they see the physical scar they understand what was once buried deep inside of them is now visible on the surface, as the scar heals the emotional wounds heal, when the scar is gone the emotional pain is released. This is the category in which you would find “cutters”, those individuals that habitually harm or cut themselves. Most medical professionals put not only cutters in this category but anorexics, bulimics and addicts as well. Oddly enough one of the most famous individuals in this category was Princess Diana, when she admitted to cutting herself during an interview to BBC in 1995; others would be Johnny Depp and Chistina Ricci.



Sexual Masochism – This type of masochist is the “common” masochist, at least in the eyes of the medical profession. This individual desires to have pain inflicted upon their body as a means of sexual release. They are sexually excited by pain, the more dramatic the pain, the more risk the better. These individuals enjoy extremes, they will do practically anything and love every second of it. Edge play is not only interesting for them it is almost mandatory; the idea of living a vanilla lifestyle is not only unpleasant but it would be almost dysfunctional for these individuals.



Physical Masochism – Physical masochists thrive on not the pain itself but the result of the pain. Whenever there is pain involved the body naturally goes through both chemical and hormonal changes. The human body will produce high levels of endorphins, and enkephalins are functional pentapeptides; to be more specific they are what are referred to as polypeptides, they are able to bind up the neuro-receptors in the brain and block the perception of pain. This internal chemical release has an almost sedating effect, which may resemble certain opiates such as heroin or morphine. Therefore when a physical masochist is exposed to pain they will first ride the wave of adrenalin to a heart thundering high, then surrender to the peaceful intoxication of the endorphins, and finally purr with contentment over the latent release of hormones.



When I started this article I began to question myself as to why did one need to understand what masochism is, or is not. I answered myself with one simple thought, if one does not know what drives an individual one cannot learn to take control of an individual. You cannot use the same methods of inflicting pain on a physical masochist as you would with an emotional masochist; not only would your methods be different but the way you treated the individual before and after the experience would also need some consideration.



A emotional masochist may need to be held and gently reassured after a scene, while a social masochist would find the idea of a gentle touch or kind word to be counter productive to the entire experience. A sexual masochist may need sexual gratification after a scene while a spiritual masochist would find even the suggestion to be offensive.

Each person has his or her own place, to appreciate an individual one must understand the individual. Masochism is rich in history and ideals, and to understand masochism one must first understand that it is not a singular faceted stone but a prism of unique and wondrous perspectives.
© 2004-2005 The Iron Gate

 

[grace9]

As human beings it seems to be our habit to put under lock and key and all manner of barriers that which is the most vulnerable and precious to us.

Whether its origin is emotional, physical or spiritual....pain is a hint to a locked door that on the other side of which resides some treasure....and to get at at sometimes...you must kick it in.

Gracie~

 

[Leolover711]

Inside is One Lucky Guy

Some like some forms of pain, some like others. Everyone has varied limits to what they will tolerate and for many, over time as the extremes might vary, the tolerance levels, in many cases, increase.

When i first met my Master, He asked me to describe what types of sensual experiences and forms of pain i enjoy. i answered Him in explaining, simply put, that i had no idea, as i hadn't experienced anything at all, but that i was very open minded. We started out very slowly. He was/is very patient with me.

He started with very light spankings which by the second or third spank of His hand upon my ass, to His pleasure, i was highly aroused and very wet. We both love that effect. Even though His spankings were very light at first, my ass would welt up in minutes, leaving red mottled specked patterns that would last at least several days. As the spankings became harder over time, i do not mark quite so easily, much to both of our dismay. He admires those markings as much as i. Many times there are the physical marks to enjoy for a day or two, as well as the short lived sensations involved. We both take pleasure in these spankings, my pleasure is always directly related to knowing that i have pleased Him so well in my submission, and tolerance.

There are many types of pain. Over time i am learning to enjoy it more, and crave greater extremes. As much as i enjoy pain, if i stub my toe, or get a minor paper cut, i may scream out every profanity i know, but i don't become dripping wet in my own arrousal.

i know that my reactions to pain also feed His arrousal. Many times He enjoys pushing my limits, pushing a little bit more pain my way than He might have the last time He spanked, or yanked my hair, or trailed the Wartenburg wheel over my tender skin, or fisted me, etc ect. Each time leaves me wanting for more.

i know that He enjoys the visuals, as i twist and wiggle and claw at the sheets, or entwine my fingers tightly around the chains of the cuffs as i try not to yell out or moan too loudly (don't need the neighbors to worry, or the cops to knock on our door here). Other times it's my muffled whining and whimperings muffled by the ball gag, as well as the strings of drool that pool and then drip a trail from my chin to my breasts that give Him pleasure.

Much of the pleasures i experience in receiving pain from Him, are due to knowing that i have served Him well as His little 'pain-slut toy' & have pleased Him by giving Him all that He demands of me.

D/s, not at all unlike S&m, is a pleasurable and mutual exchange of give and take, with one partner's pleasures, desires, and needs always cycling back in answer to the other's.

sinnocent is an extraordinary writer. Everytime she describes her experiences W/e all get to share in an exquisite relationship. W/e also invaraibly get very hot! Inside is one extremely lucky guy to have found a slave who seemingly so perfectly serves Him.W/e are lucky that these 2 are willing to share with U/us so openly.

 

[psyche1973]

Is it a chemical imbalance? a mental thing from social conditioning? What?

Chemical imbalance- no! combining great chemicals together- yes!
Sex releases endorphins and enkephlines (pleasure chemicals) oxytosin (bonding pleasurable chemicals) and the pain releases more endorphins, and adrenaline. So really it's more of a drug addiction than a chemical imbalance.
There's nothing wrong with us pain junkies, we just have learned to use the drugs we were born with.

Oh, and this is my first post!

 

[Rubyb]

There's nothing wrong with us pain junkies, we just have learned to use the drugs we were born with.

Oh, and this is my first post!

Congrats on your first post. Well done.

Bandit58 said: I have discovered that pain is in the perception of the spankee.

Good point.

For me, pain is pain. And sometimes it hurts so good. A little pain can be like adding a hot spice to a meal. It burns your throat, but you want a bit more. Too much pain and I don't want it at all.

There is a difference between slap and tickle & bruised and battered.
Each couple has to figure out which end of the spectrum gives them the most pleasure.

Have fun experimenting!

Why do people like pain?

Ruby answers: Because they can.

 

[madetobeme]

We both take pleasure in these spankings, my pleasure is always directly related to knowing that i have pleased Him so well in my submission, and tolerance.

There are many types of pain. Over time i am learning to enjoy it more, and crave greater extremes. As much as i enjoy pain, if i stub my toe, or get a minor paper cut, i may scream out every profanity i know, but i don't become dripping wet in my own arrousal.

i know that my reactions to pain also feed His arrousal. Many times He enjoys pushing my limits, pushing a little bit more pain my way than He might have the last time He spanked, or yanked my hair, or trailed the Wartenburg wheel over my tender skin, or fisted me, etc ect. Each time leaves me wanting for more.


Much of the pleasures i experience in receiving pain from Him, are due to knowing that i have served Him well as His little 'pain-slut toy' & have pleased Him by giving Him all that He demands of me.

D/s, not at all unlike S&m, is a pleasurable and mutual exchange of give and take, with one partner's pleasures, desires, and needs always cycling back in answer to the other's.

Thinking again about pain...I don't know if subs enjoy the *actual* pain itself. I enjoy the pleasure that my SO gets from inflicting the pain upon me and I also enjoy the tolerance factor i.e bearing the pain and showing how strong I can be by taking it.

Taking pain and fighting with myself to control it is in some ways also a balance to the giving up of control to my SO. Perhaps it is this "balance" that makes me feels complete and gives me greater pleasure and nudges me one step closer to subspace.

To sinn0city1:
Every single one of your posts touches me at some level sinn0cent1. You describe so simply and beautifully your journey and I envy your attainment of emotional peace.

 

[hazel43]

Clamps are tightened on nipples, pussy lips and arm pits

Mmmm . . . Yes. . . I need to find some clamps that don't hurt too much. I just can't take these clothes pins on my nipples yet. But hot candle wax works wonderfully for the time being.

Its all a matter of arousal. Sometimes the regular way doesn't have enough depth. Sometimes we just need to feel more deeply. The pain must be sexual though. Head aches, toothaches, muscle cramps, and menstrual pains are not erotic.