who shoud lie on who

[lesserMan]

I have talked with my fiancee about her being more dominant in the relationship, and she is all for it................ and then doesnt assert herself.

anyway, i am trying to coax it out of her by getting her to be more dominant in small ways (snappy responses and actions to her questions and commands, no talk back, rubbing her feet "just for fun", etc).

After we return from work, she generally lays on me and I rub her hair while she sleeps.

My question is ...........
Is that the more submissive position? I ask because when she wants me to stop, i put my arms around her (kind of a protective position).

Or would my lying on her be more submissive?
lesserMan

 

[lark sparrow]

Which does she prefer?

It's kind of like the driving of a car and D/s. For some the Dominant should drive to be in control, for others the submissive should drive to be in service.

 

[Netzach]

Not talking back is good.

You will need to be patient. If she has Dominant tendencies, it may take a long time for her to be comfortable with them.

People are dominant, not activities. It's a way to do things, it's not what you do. I can whip someone, buy a loaf of bread for dinner, shower, or be penetratively fucked and do any of those things in a way that reinfoces my Dominant position.

That said, I certainly don't see her lying on you, being lulled to sleep, and hugged as submissive. You are pampering her.

Pampering is also good.

 

[lesserMan]

lark sparrow:
She prefers lying on me as that is what we do most often.

Netzach:
Yeah, i know it will take a while, but she is slowly becoming more dominant.

Thanks for the input on <quote>People are dominant, not activities. </quote>
I do as I can to see that she is happy.

 

[lesserMan]

I am following the advise of the following website.

here

I figured that it was one of the more submissive ways of introducing it to her.
lesserMan

 

[AnelizeDarkEyes]

Hello lesserMan, welcome to our Community

Have you checked out our Library? It's loaded with many interesting threads, on lots of subjects, including Domination andsubmission.

Have a look see, perhaps you'll find what you're looking for

If you have ever have any suggestions, my PM box is always open, or you can drop a note in the Library Suggestion thread.

//obligatory library plug over// **smile**

~anelize, "your friendly neighborhood submissive librarian"

 

[lesserMan]

Hello lesserMan, welcome to our Community
<snip>
~anelize, "your friendly neighborhood submissive librarian"

Thanks anelize!
I will be sure to check out the library.
lesserMan

 

[FungiUg]

You're the only one who can answer that question. Does it feel more submissive? Do you enjoy it? Does it need to be labelled "submissive" if you enjoy it?

 

[Etoile]

From that site:

All women are superior to men and all women are a potential Dominatrix. Most women just don't realize it, because they have been held down by a male dominant society.

Wow. I disagree with this completely.

 

[Ebonyfire]

My question is ...........
Is that the more submissive position? I ask because when she wants me to stop, i put my arms around her (kind of a protective position).

Or would my lying on her be more submissive?
lesserMan

I am a dominant, and I say that anything I do is dominant because it is my choice. I do not let others define what is dominant.

I feel dominant because I AM dominant, and my word is law.

What makes her dominant is assertion of Her rights over you. Not the sexual positions you use.

What makes you submissive is your willingness to obey her.

 

[WriterDom]

From that site:quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
All women are superior to men and all women are a potential Dominatrix. Most women just don't realize it, because they have been held down by a male dominant society

Wow. I disagree with this completely.

I hear ya, e. I don't know what that girl has been smoking.

 

[rosco rathbone]

"How To Introduce Your Wife or Girlfriend To The Female Domination Lifestyle"

aka, how to passive-aggressively manipulate her into being what you want her to be....the Patriarchy needs dominatrixes.

 

[Croctden]

From that site:

Wow. I disagree with this completely.

Search around the site a little more, there are many "interesting" theories.

 

[Etoile]

Search around the site a little more, there are many "interesting" theories.

Wow, you're right.
http://dmoz.org/Adult/Society/Sexuality/Activities_and_Practices/BDSM/Femdom/ will likely have much better references.

 

[Netzach]

I actually am a huge fan of the advice to new female Dominants on Akasha's web. Teaching a woman to be a better fulfiller of male fantasies is great preparation if she wants to start a career as a Prodomme, admirable, but so not the same thing as in a relationship.

 

[Netzach]

"Another thing that you can do to seduce your wife's dominant nature is you can offer to give her foot and body massages."

?

I gotta say, I get really controlling when the aveda girl rubs my head before washing my hair. Nothing draws out the bitch in me more.

 

[deezire1900]

This is very interesting, becuae I had the same thought the other evening. I was laying on my back and my friend was laying with his head on my stomach, and body between my legs. When he would turn his head, he would be so close to my...and I felt like he was in total control. I started to try and get up and he told me no. mmmmmm I think he may make a fun partner.