Who knows?

[bisexplicit]

Does your family know you're gay/lesbian/bi/tran?
Do your friends know?
Do random strangers know?

Why is it important to you that they know or don't know?

If you've told someone, how hard was it to do? How long did it take that you knew before you could discuss it with someone?

 

[kbate]

Yes my family knows I am gay. They do not like it, but they have accepted the fact.

All of my good friends know, and with those who are just casual acquaintances do not need to know about my home life at all.

Random strangers rarely have any cause to know (other than on the internet).

It is easy for me, I prefer honest and open.

You should make this a poll.

 

[-phreak]

My family knows, with the exception of the younger kids, who probably would'nt know how to handle it. My friends know as wel....as for random strangers, no idea, I'll ask them sometime

 

[bisexplicit]

Unfortunately I have no idea how to make a poll...if someone could tell me, I'd make it, though.

 

[Etoile]

Unfortunately polls can only be created on a new thread, not on an existing one.

Pretty much everybody - family, friends, co-workers - knows I'm gay. I talk about my wife all the time, I have pictures of her in my cube at work, etc. My family is totally cool with it, as are most of my friends. My two primary co-workers have been fine with it too, but one of them takes it as an excuse to mention (proudly) that she already had lesbian friends before she met me! So she must be open-minded! Yeah! (heh) But she is fine with it, and will ask me how my wife is doing, etc.

 

[Ashleey]

Does your family know you're gay/lesbian/bi/tran?
Do your friends know?
Do random strangers know?

Why is it important to you that they know or don't know?

If you've told someone, how hard was it to do? How long did it take that you knew before you could discuss it with someone?

My family doesn't know I am bi...although im sure my 17 yo brother suspects. My friends know and my bf knows...and most anyone i meet online knows...hehehe...its in my bio. My mom is the only one i DON'T want to know. She'd never understand.....

 

[bisexplicit]

Like, Ashleey, my family doesn't know. For me, there isn't any reason to let them know, and frankly, its easy to hide.
My friends know, although, I think they think its a phase.
My boyfriend knows.
And you all here know, but I made it a little bit obvious, hunh?

 

[Fellatio!]

I'm sure my mother knows I'm bi or thinks I'm gay. I suspect all mothers have a sense for those things.
A Couple of people know but i don't know them that well and they are both women. I guess that's the way I feel comfortable.
I feel if i told my family or friends that i wouldn't be able to show my face.
It's much harder cause i crossdress i think i need to find new friends but i feel as though no matter who i turn to they would know someone else and it would ruin everything. I'm just too scared to face the consequences at the moment.
I feel i should be a woman more so each day and it's getting me on the verge of ill with anxiety.

Oh by the way. Howdy I'm new

 

[bisexplicit]

Welcome Fellatio.
And I'm sorry to hear that you've been so worried about people finding out, that really isn't fun.

 

[Fellatio!]

thanks, do you have plans to tell your family in time?

I think I could have chosen my friends a little better but then when i met them i didn't really feel as strongly as i do now. If i could pick again i would go for a more open minded crowd and hey who knows maybe i will pluck up the courage to find some true friends. I suppose even though i'm classed as an adult my life still has a lot of maturing to do.
I did have a lady friend who agreed to support me (emotionally) and even let me stay with her for some time while i went to see the doc and maybe started a transformation but we suddenly lost touch and i worry whether i'll speak to her again. I wish sometimes people would just find out against my will so it could all be over and done with

Sheesh i seem to write a damned lot already. [/whinge]

PS- love your pics there explicit maybe i'll be able to be in a similar position one day hehe

 

[Netzach]

Families all know, friends all know, we're both bisexual.

Random strangers don't really know, I am not in my button wearing phase any more and M never had a button wearing phase to be ashamed of.

 

[Ricwilly]

My wife knows I had sex with both men and women before we got together. I've mentioned it to most of my immediate family at one time or another but I think most of them choose to pretend they never heard it. I tell people from time to time if it comes up or is relevant. I don't tell casual aquaintences as it isn't their business and I don't need the grief, tho I'm quick to state my opinion on sexuality if the topic comes up.
It took me untill my late twenties before I was able to accept myself and tell other people, I wish I could have got there sooner but it was what it was.
At this point in my life I realize it's more important what I think of me than what others do.

 

[revolution724]

My parents know; not extended family, but it's not come up yet. My friends all know. Interestingly, the response of basically everyone was, "Well, I didn't know, but I'm not surprised." Guess I really wasn't all that good at pretending to be straight! I'm out to some coworkers; with some, it hasn't come up in conversation.

As for random strangers - they might guess, they might not. I'm not butch per se, but a bit andro. I have short hair. I don't wear makeup. I don't dress as femininely as "traditionally feminine" (and thus presumed straight) women might. I don't bother shaving my legs. My girlfriend usually gives me a peck on the lips when we meet, regardless of where we meet (within the bounds of safety), and we sometimes hold hands and sometimes don't. I don't wear the buttons all the time, but I do march in the parade and gear up when I do.

Basically (and this has come up more in light of relatively newly becoming part of a relationship and the associated PDA issue), at this point, I am simply not interested in sitting in the closet any more. My relationship is healthy and mature. It's something I'm proud of, and I'm not embarrassed for children or straight people to see that it exists. I'm moreover not interested in indulging some stranger's bigotry by attempting to hide something that's as much part of my set of demographic characteristics as my race or age. Again, I have a sense of personal safety, and won't endanger myself unless there's something meaningful to be gained, but in most cases, I frankly don't give a shit if strangers figure it out and it somehow hurts their sensitivities, and figure that often, it doesn't.

Mind you, everyone goes at their own pace with this sort of thing. Wherever you are - that's where you are, and that's okay, as long as you're mindful about it. Some people never come out. Some people can't because it isn't safe or the social backlash would be too strong. However, in my own life, it just got so much easier to live when I felt comfortable enough just to quit thinking about it all the time. I've been lucky, though, and I wish everyone the same level of tolerance/acceptance I've enjoyed.

 

[Angel]

I don't recall running around when I was first aware I liked boys and announcing to friends and family that I was straight. So when I gradually discovered my highly perverted and insatiable attraction to women, I couldn't imagine running out and announcing that either.





If it comes up in discussion, I discuss it.

 

[sweetsyn]

Yes, my family and closest friends know I am transsexual. Unfortunately, the only one I seem to get any support from is my ex, who nows views me as more of a sister. We are much closer now than when we were married, and even closer than my biological sisters and I are. One sister although she says she will always love me, is unaccepting and wants me nowhere near her children, the other teaches her children to call me obscenitiesand derogatory names despite the fact that I raised her two oldest until they were 9&7. Coming out is not an easy thing, but, at least for me, having lived a lie for so long was even harder, for many years suicide was a daily thought. I no longer see that as an option as I merely try to live each day with the hope that one day all will be corrected. Maybe someday my sisters and Mother, who suggested I try being a gay man first, will understand and accept but I cannot live my life for them. Hopefully one day, the world will open it's hearts and minds to those who are different, until then those of us who choose to be true to ourselves will just have to keep doing the best we can.
Gabi

 

[gypsywitch]

No, my family and friends don't know I'm bi. They're still getting over the fact that I married a Deadhead. (I'm a Deadhead too, but blame it on him )

They wouldn't be too surprised though since I've always had Goddess art around everywhere.

Being teased over being a Les while in school during the seventies was a real put down. I've always been quite fem though athletic.

Due to my two careers it is best to keep private matters private.

Only you guys here know and bringing new lovers into my life would not be through my regular circles of "RL" friends.

 

[Metrodance]

If it comes up in discussion, I discuss it.

Exactly. Heterosexual people don’t declare their sexuality every time they meet someone new. Family is different as some members have expectations that will probably never be met. So they should be told.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

Does your family know you're gay/lesbian/bi/tran?
Do your friends know?
Do random strangers know?

Why is it important to you that they know or don't know?

If you've told someone, how hard was it to do? How long did it take that you knew before you could discuss it with someone?

I have been out since I was 16...

I have never tried to hide my sexuality, it's never been something that i felt I should have to hide. I don't make it a point to announce my preferences to random strangers but I don't hide it either..if they ask, I have absolutely no problem telling them. It's just how I was brought up.

(And yes..my family and friends all know and I had no problem with discussing it with anyone)

 

[LeahLo519]

Does your family know you're gay/lesbian/bi/tran?
Do your friends know?
Do random strangers know?

Why is it important to you that they know or don't know?

If you've told someone, how hard was it to do? How long did it take that you knew before you could discuss it with someone?

I'm not a lesbian, or bisexual, but I recently had a close friend come out to me. It was interesting because I didn't see it coming at all...he had a girlfriend for like 6 months when we met and they broke up because of "communication reasons"...so when he told me he was gay, I was a little shocked but I think I hid it well and told him that I loved him anyway and everyone else would too. I wish so many people weren't afraid of it...I also have a girl/friend who I KNOW is a lesbian because of things that I know happened in her past. She told me once that the only person she ever really had a "crush" on was a girl. She's never felt emotionally for a man...but she still hasn't come out and she's 20 years old.

 

[Never]

bisexplicit:
"Does your family know you're gay/lesbian/bi/tran?
Do your friends know?
Do random strangers know?

Why is it important to you that they know or don't know?

If you've told someone, how hard was it to do? How long did it take that you knew before you could discuss it with someone?"

Yes.
Yes.
If they pay attention at the right time.

Sure it's important. It's really annoying when people assume I'm straight.

It was hard the first time. I don't get your second question.

 

[Pookie]

Does your family know you're gay/lesbian/bi/tran?
Do your friends know?
Do random strangers know?

Why is it important to you that they know or don't know?

If you've told someone, how hard was it to do? How long did it take that you knew before you could discuss it with someone?

My immediate family knows, along with most of my friends. A few of them at first believed I was a lesbian instead of bisexual though, especially when I was in exclusive relationships with girls. In that regard, I did want them to know because the comments and rumors got irritating as fuck.

It was difficult early on for me to discuss it with anyone. Except with a girlfriend I had in high school that no one but my family knew about, I didn't talk about it at all before college. But after I heard some of the comments and rumors, it didn't bother me to talk about it nearly as much. It's not something I feel compelled to tell or discuss with people though without some reason.

 

[marieR19]

Everyone knows. lol I mean everyone. I get in trouble with my mom for (in her words) "flaunting" it. Mainly meaning having rainbow stuff on my backpack, Pride stickers on my folder, etc. My classroom (same one for three years... alt. education) is small, approx. 15 students at any one time, getting new students in and students leaving... Anyway the point is, the middle of last school year a guy who'd been in the class for like two weeks was surprised when he found out I'm gay, and basically the entire class was like "you didn't know? come on how can you not know!" It was really funny.
The only people in my family that I've actually told are my mom and my dad... Actually, I got my best friend at the time (4 years ago) to tell mom because I was too nervous. She's okay with it, at least she puts up with it, but she stiil thinks I'll get over it someday. Dad's reaction? "I don't have to worry about you getting pregnant". lol
I regret not getting the chance to tell my grandfather on my mom's side before he died, because he was like a father to me and its something I wish I could've shared with him. However, I did get up the nerve about 6 months ago to tell my grandparents on my dad's side... Only to find out they already knew. lol That's how it's been with the rest of my family. Uncles, aunts, cousins... Mostly everyone knows, I definately let them know, but it seems I'm just one of those lesbians who actually seems like one. They all knew before I told them. It surprised me at first.
Why do I "flaunt" it? Well I don't consider it flaunting, I just make it a point to let people know who/what I am. I spent a big portion of my life hiding myself, my secrets, a lot of different things, big things. I finally got really really sick of hiding who I was. In 10th grade a lot of people thought I was really strange because when someone would taunt me about being gay I'd be like "yeah I'm a dyke, so what?" I'd rather people be mean to me about it then think I'm someone that I'm not.
And I've rambled enough. Once I get going I can't stop.

Marie

 

[Raimondin]

Everybody that I know, knows.

If strangers, distant relatives or new acquaintances suspect that I am gay, then that's their problem. I don't care.

If they have the guts to ask me, then they'll know.

Meantime, I don't go around with it stamped on my forehead.