When did you know the relationship was over?

[Shelby]

For those of you who've been through a breakup/divorce...when did you know it was over? When the sex stopped, when you hated the sight of his/her car pulling in the driveway, when you could barely look at him/her anymore, when you realized you weren't IN love anymore?

Is it possible to still love someone, but not be IN love & have no other emotions towards the person?

 

[Skitten]

Sorry I can't help you out on this one, but I am sure that you can still be in love even though it isn't working anymore. And its knowing when to break the ties, when you are both miserable and want the other one to do something about it. You can only know when its over and it is a hard decision. Be strong and you will know what to do.

 

[Thumper]

She threw a chair at me...

...and I ducked!

When she said we were scheduled next month to be on Jerry Springer..

When she said she wanted to lose 175 lbs. and she only weighs 125..

When she asked what a brake line looked like and what it would take to sever one....

When I asked the guy why he was jogging down the street naked, and he said "Cause you came home early!"...

When we said I do.....and didn't anymore...

 

[skitch]

LOL@thumper

i think for me it was when we both started looking forward to the times we WEREN'T together more than the times we were together.

AND she started using her teeth (if you know what i mean)

 

[shit4brains]

"It's not over until it's over" Yogi Berra. "It's over when the fat lady sings" Yogi again--

I think you will know unmistakably, when it's over--

 

[CW]

When the sex stopped, when you hated the sight of his/her car pulling in the driveway, when you could barely look at him/her anymore, when you realized you weren't IN love anymore?

Yep,,, all of the above

Is it possible to still love someone, but not be IN love & have no other emotions towards the person?

Good question,,, no answer here though,,, that is way above my mental/emotional capability

 

[Shelby]

As she stands on the edge of the cliff, with the weight of the world on her strong & bare shoulders and the autumn breeze teasing her ever so gently around the whisp of her skirt...she thinks to herself..

Goddamn bunch of comedians. Thanks for the help..I'm off to play with myself, and tonight..I'm going to be on top. GOOFS!!!(Love you all)

(Thanks Skitten)

 

[Earthmuffin]

Hey Shelby, in my case yes it was a case of still loved him, wasn't in love with him. The divorce hit me hard right between the eyes. We were great when we weren't alone together for about 4 years. I left him, he filed. To this day I still care about him, just not for him if that makes any sense.

Hang in there if you're hitting the rocks. E-mail me if you ever need someone to just listen.

 

[Latina]

Before I met husband #2, I had been dating this man I met through the same dating service where I later met my Frank. I bought a book that talked about your must rules and your should rules in dating. Your must rules are things you MUST have in a relationship and are not willing to compromise about, your should rules are what you would like to have but are willing to do without. I made a list of my must rules (like no smoking, no drinking, caring about my child as well as about me) and should rules (like should be smart and charming), and then I realized that this man I was dating didn't meet ANY of my musts or shoulds, I had been settling for just having SOMEONE to go out with on weekends and nothing more than that. That's when I broke it off with him.

I first spoke to Frank on the phone about a month later. Over time, I came to realize that Frank fit all of my musts AND all of my shoulds, and 4-1/2 years later I still don't regret that decision to dump the loser, not one bit.

-- Latina

 

[Guest]

When did I know it was over

Well... I think a good "clue" was when we were fighting daily about nothing and everything all at once. I started crying myself to sleep nightly. And, I swear, he said certain things on purpose just to make me cry. Also, sex was dropped down to once a month, if at all... At that point in my life, I cherished my time alone and dreaded it when he came home. (Where as in the beginning of our relationship I was the "perfect lil wife". I would greet him at the door, kiss and hug him. And dinner would be ready w/i a half hour after he got home.) ~sigh~


~Tiggs~

 

[Siren]

OMG Thumpie that is so fucking funny.......

 

[lala]

i knew it was over much after it was. when there wasn't i time i talked to him (in person or on the phone) that i didn't cry, when i hated myself for going to see him, when i hated him for making it all on his terms, when even my best friend had Given Up telling me he was bad for me, when no one had any sympathy, and when i finally realized that i had never loved him, and he hadn't loved me in so long he didn't even remember what it was like.

when mindless hardcore ruckus fuckin' wasn't even enough. it's too bad i didn't learn with him that i don't ever EVER want to have sex with someone i'm not at least fond of,... i should've figured it out long before i did,

one of my friends is right though,... he says, not when you have reasons not to, but when you don't have any more reasons To be together, that's when you should break up. he doesn't believe in tenure counting,... it doesn't matter how long you've been with them, if you don't have any good reasons to stay together, let it go while you still have good memories.

it's sad, but true,...