Whats your opinion on gays who are in denial?

[Shywong]

You ever met someone who you know is gay but they won't admit it? The people whom, if you ask them the question, 'Are you gay' they can't give a straight answer. Or someone who will admit to being attracted to the same sex but refuse to be considered gay. I'm not talking about bisexuals, but people who only get hots for their own gender. I'm mostly straight and I find it annoying.

 

[sugaredwalls]

Yes

I used to work with and be good friends with a guy who was as you describe. I felt so bad for him because I know a lot of his issues had to do with his Mormon upbringing. He knew he had absolutely no interest in women other than as friends but confided in me that he would never, ever, ever consider himself or publicly say he was gay. He was so afraid of being rejected by his LDS family and friends, who were a big part of his life.

What happened to him? Sadly, he died of AIDS several years ago. I always felt sad that he never had the chance to live without being ashamed of himself. He was smart, sweet and wickedly funny. I still miss him.

 

[Safe_Bet]

No Such Thing!

First of all, you AREN'T gay or lesbian until you admit it to yourself and take action on it. Until then you are simply a curious individual.

Secondly, being gay or lesbian is a lot more that "thinking" about sucking a cock or licking a pussy. It involves embracing a life that many people find repugnant and facing public scorn and, in many cases, retribution. It's hard. It's terrifying. It's also well worth it if that is how you have ultimately decided to let the world perceive you.

So, if it "annoys" you that people are hesitant to share their major life decisions with you, all I can say is "I don't blame 'em." You are an insensitive asshat for finding it "annoying" in the first place.

 

[gloriann]

Coming out is not an easy thing, not to mention a very personal decision. Some people do it early, some people never do it. No one but them knows what their personal, private and/or family situations are like, and they have to make their decisions about who they are on their own time, no one else's.

 

[Programmer Cat]

I'm bi, and I'm still not completely out. My family doesn't know. My coworkers don't know. My friends don't know unless my wife and I are having sex with them. And that's how I like it. Who I have sex with and how is none of the world's business.

 

[OnDisplay]

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

 

[Shywong]

So, if it "annoys" you that people are hesitant to share their major life decisions with you, all I can say is "I don't blame 'em." You are an insensitive asshat for finding it "annoying" in the first place. [/COLOR]

Shut up bitch. Take your bitter dyke headed ass back to the Isle of Lesbos.

 

[undermythumb1]

Shut up bitch. Take your bitter dyke headed ass back to the Isle of Lesbos.

Reported. This is completely out-of-line.

 

[yr_sissy_toy]

So, if it "annoys" you that people are hesitant to share their major life decisions with you, all I can say is "I don't blame 'em." You are an insensitive asshat for finding it "annoying" in the first place.

That hits the nail on the head as far as I'm concerned. A friend of mine, brought up in a strictly Catholic family, is probably gay. I've never known him to fool around with a man, and he's married and has a kid now, but I suspect that deep down, that isn't who he is. I feel bad for him to the extent that he I don't think he's being true to himself, and that he feels he has to hide a part of who he truly is -- but coming out, even to oneself, is a tremendously wrenching experience, especially in his situation. So it's hard to be anything other than sympathetic -- much less annoyed.

 

[Bystander]

First of all, you AREN'T gay or lesbian until you admit it to yourself and take action on it. Until then you are simply a curious individual.

Secondly, being gay or lesbian is a lot more that "thinking" about sucking a cock or licking a pussy. It involves embracing a life that many people find repugnant and facing public scorn and, in many cases, retribution. It's hard. It's terrifying. It's also well worth it if that is how you have ultimately decided to let the world perceive you.

So, if it "annoys" you that people are hesitant to share their major life decisions with you, all I can say is "I don't blame 'em." You are an insensitive asshat for finding it "annoying" in the first place.

I don't think you can just say that people need to embrace a particular lifestyle if they want to be gay or lesbian. Isn't being gay simply about being gay? People are gay if they are wired that way. It's not supposed to be a matter of choice is it?

 

[Etoile]

You ever met someone who you know is gay but they won't admit it? The people whom, if you ask them the question, 'Are you gay' they can't give a straight answer. Or someone who will admit to being attracted to the same sex but refuse to be considered gay. I'm not talking about bisexuals, but people who only get hots for their own gender. I'm mostly straight and I find it annoying.

Nope, can't say that I ever have. If somebody tells me they're not gay, I usually take their word for it. People are very complex, and I'm sure they have reasons for labeling themselves the way they do. It's not my job to decide who is or isn't gay.

 

[jedclampet69]

hmmmm..lm not gay...but l do have a few gay mates...yes it has been considered a lifestyle for a long time...but arent we all memebrs of the community we live in..our sexual orientation or desires should not realy considered on a social.buisness or any other basis or contact with people in genneral....lm straight with desires and feeling that is not the normal so to speek.

l beleive it is very sad when any one, race,religion, sexual desire or orientation makes them feel uncomfortable...the world has many people who are all different in their own way...we should all learn to accept each other....except pedophiles..now their putride critters..!!!

 

[Etoile]

I don't think you can just say that people need to embrace a particular lifestyle if they want to be gay or lesbian. Isn't being gay simply about being gay? People are gay if they are wired that way. It's not supposed to be a matter of choice is it?

I think the difference is between embracing a gay life, as Safe Bet said, and embracing a gay lifestyle, as you said. Not everyone needs to accept the queer lifestyle; plenty of gay people are perfectly happy just living their lives like everyone else and happening to prefer their own gender. But everyone who is gay IS embracing a life that large parts of of society still rejects, as Safe Bet described. Simply by virtue of loving their own gender, they are doing something that other people find repugnant. No matter how straight-acting you are, if you show up somewhere unfriendly with your boyfriend, you will get the look of death. So yes, being gay is about being gay, and not everybody is a flaming homo. But simply by being JUST gay, some people don't like that.

 

[Shywong]

I commend people who are open about their sexuality, be it flamboyant or straight faced. As long as they take pride in it that's what makes them cool in my book. Especially if they have a sense of humor about it too because I can joke with them about stuff you can't with straight people. I said it was annoying when someone can't give the real answer they already know but won't admit because its like being ashamed of what you are. If you simply asked a U.S. citizen if he's American and he said 'I don't believe in nationalism or labeling myself as a particular nationality,' that's a pretty bogus answer. I responded to Safe_Bet the way I did because I don't appreciate being called an insensitive asshat for using the word annoying.

 

[glamorilla]

they're good for rent money.

 

[Etoile]

they're good for rent money.

I heard that!! LOL

 

[Kumani]

You ever met someone who you know is gay but they won't admit it? The people whom, if you ask them the question, 'Are you gay' they can't give a straight answer. Or someone who will admit to being attracted to the same sex but refuse to be considered gay. I'm not talking about bisexuals, but people who only get hots for their own gender. I'm mostly straight and I find it annoying.

I don't see it as a problem. Sexuality is not fixed. There are many variations between what a person identifies themselves as and what turns them on sexually between the sheets. I think its none of your business.

Furthermore I have read the other responses and no one has asked this question or made this comment....
Maybe you (the asker of this question) should be asking yourself why you find it "annoying" as you say. Why should someone's else's choice annoy you? Who are you to judge? You who are so comfortable with your sexuality that you identify yourself as "mostly straight"
Just my two cents

 

[Shywong]

Maybe you (the asker of this question) should be asking yourself why you find it "annoying" as you say. Why should someone's else's choice annoy you? Who are you to judge? You who are so comfortable with your sexuality that you identify yourself as "mostly straight"
Just my two cents

I pretty much answered that in my other post.

I said it was annoying when someone can't give the real answer they already know but won't admit because its like being ashamed of what you are. If you simply asked a U.S. citizen if he's American and he said 'I don't believe in nationalism or labeling myself as a particular nationality,' that's a pretty bogus answer.

When you ask someone a question that has an obvious answer and they give you the run around, its annoying. For example there was this one time I asked a guy if he was gay and his answer was something of the sort: "Gay is what society calls it." Followed by a preposterous excuse of how he doesn't believe in social norms or what not, all he did was avoid the question by giving a very emo, pseudo-philosophical response instead of a yes or no. Gay is just an adjective that helps to let you know a little more about someone. If you ask a person if they like Italian food and they say 'I don't like to call it Italian because...' Tell me they aren't about to give an unwarranted, unnecessarily long answer when its just a yes or no question.

That's why I called it annoying.