What would you do??

[LittleMsNaughty]

If you are a serious relationship or marriage and your SO had had an intimate moment with someone in real life ( and that person had been in your house and tried also to make friends with you) and they both had been caught out....... told to cool it and NOT contact each other EVER AGAIN!! Then out of the blue the other party decided that enough time had passed and it was okay for them to start contact again and you were aware of it??? What course of action would you take???

 

[LadyG]

Depends on how intimate the moment, I guess?

I could probably forgive once, but if they were caught again? Nope.

 

[intrigued]

I can't give advice to you, especially on so little info, but there really aren't words for what'd I do.
Once that line is crossed, its crossed and I'm done.

 

[LittleMsNaughty]

Depends on how intimate the moment, I guess?

I could probably forgive once, but if they were caught again? Nope.

Very intimate! Apparently........ forgiving the SO is the easy part but what would you do or feel towards the other person still trying to contact them even though they had been told absolutely no contact??

 

[k¡tty]

Okay so they did the contacting.

Did your SO tell you that he had been contacted? Or did you just find out?

 

[LadyG]

OOOH, that's different. I would want to hunt her down and tear her heart out.

Actually, with my temper, I would probably tell her exactly that and if I ever ran into her, look out.


Why do some people not get the hint?

Course if She/he was in a serious relationship, I'm just bitch enough to let THEIR SO know what's going on.

 

[LittleMsNaughty]

Okay so they did the contacting.

Did your SO tell you that he had been contacted? Or did you just find out?

Told me everything at the time and also called the other person and told them not to contact us again as the most important thing was family and that he had made a terrible mistake... then a few months later told me that the person had PM'd him - to which he did not respond... ( I responded on his behalf - to which I got a rather arrogant reply for someone who had displayed such behaviour to a mother with a newborn baby.)

We are seriously working on this within our whole family unit as I am committed to making our marriage work at all costs (parents and parents in law included - as it did cause a big crisis in our family with a new baby etc etc - but the person involved does not seem to see the harm in saying "hi" to my SO by PM even though it has been spelt out very clearly and we have been coming to Lit as a couple for a long time - before the person was ever registered on Lit)

Just want to also say that I have made the decision to make it work with my Husband despite his big mistake which he does recognise and we are working through this because I do love him and it was not in his nature to act this way .......but just would be interested to know how others would deal with the third party that appears to be particularly ignorant to what repercussions their actions could have to a family who is trying to rebuild what was initially put into a precarious position with the actions they chose and also for the person to show "remorse " for those actions in a PM to myself and then to contact my husband again knowing what they had already done was unacceptable.


Apart from bodily harm - and sending them a message to back off - - which I have done - is there any other action you would take if you were in my position??

Also - how could i get rid of this anger towards this idiot before I do or say something stupid....... GRRRR grrrr

I had originally tried to forgive and forget .for my own sake ..... but how can you when they just dont' get it through their head?????

 

[bknight2602]

Time to hit the road, first pass. Maybe both want the relationship, because it takes two to have a relationship.

 

[PepperminTrish]

I think you've done all you can do and now that you've made it public on the board with this thread , maybe that person will finally realize that you both mean what you've said, it's over and she'll move on.
Good luck to you!

 

[LadyG]

In all honesty, I think you've done what you can. Ignore any PM's and block them from any messaging either you or SO have.

Worse case scenario, if they post here, embarass the fuck out them

No, I'm joking, but I'd want to do that.

Just be strong for you and your little 'un and if your SO is committed to making it work, then good luck and prayers to you both!

 

[LittleMsNaughty]

OOOH, that's different. I would want to hunt her down and tear her heart out.

Actually, with my temper, I would probably tell her exactly that and if I ever ran into her, look out.


Why do some people not get the hint?

Course if She/he was in a serious relationship, I'm just bitch enough to let THEIR SO know what's going on.

Had consiered it - especially as she had brought her hubby to meet us etc etc etc the complete game was us as happy families all getting along together....... lucky I am not so stupid and got my hubby to tell me everything that happened (and made the decision to make our marriage work) or it could have been worse......but still some women don't get the picture do they?? REALLY STUPID!!

 

[RoughPlay]

If they don't PM your SO again then leave it alone but if they do
then announce their name on a Lit thread together with what they
have done and encourage everyone else to flame their ass.

 

[Lost Cause]

Terminate with extreme prejudice.......

Once that line is crossed, the relationship is doomed. There will never be absolute trust, and rationalization will take place to compensate for the lie that is now your life.

Too many people use the "U.N." approach, keep appeasing the transgressor, until you're sitting in the ashes.

 

[LadyG]

Oh that's just low. Really really low.

Does her SO know and is okay with it?

FUCK I hate inconsiderate bitches like that. Especially when she knows you have baby and all.

Vent, darlin', that's what we're here for and if you feel the need, please don't hesitate to PM me, okay? I'm a great listener!

**hugs**

 

[LittleMsNaughty]

I think you've done all you can do and now that you've made it public on the board with this thread , maybe that person will finally realize that you both mean what you've said, it's over and she'll move on.
Good luck to you!

Thanks Trish........ it took me a while to say all this but my commitment is to my marriage and my baby.... and my determination to keep the friends I have made on Lit - not to let something like this stop me from saying and doing what I feel is right.......a few people on Lit what this has done to me personally and I dont' want to be a bitter twisted old lady punishing my hubby for things that are in the past for the next 50 years........... I dont' know if i can yet(one day I will for my own health) forgive her for what she has done but I will not give her the power to be able to have an effect on our marriage and the joy that our baby brings us both despite her taking his Daddy away from us for the first 2 mnths of his life. She is the one that must live with this and take a good hard look at herself and what she wants out of life beside other women's husbands.

 

[LadyG]

Ha..look at it this way..

You have something she doesn't. A beautiful baby and a hubby who was honest enough to admit he made a mistake and want to work things out.

Gloat, sweetie, she's the loser, not you!

 

[LittleMsNaughty]

Ha..look at it this way..

You have something she doesn't. A beautiful baby and a hubby who was honest enough to admit he made a mistake and want to work things out.

Gloat, sweetie, she's the loser, not you!

And what a cutie pie he is!!!!!!!

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?threadid=154539

Check him out!!!!!!

 

[Jurisprudent]

Having been in a similar situation, although not to the level of this other person trying to remain around, I think the love you have underneath, and the trust that is slowly rebuilding, will get you through this. And while its easy for me to say this, know that time and effort may make you stronger than before.

 

[LadyG]

And what a cutie pie he is!!!!!!!

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?threadid=154539

Check him out!!!!!!

Oh my,he's just a little doll! See? You ARE the winner,hon

 

[LittleMsNaughty]

https://forum.literotica.com/attachment.php?s=&postid=4267776

Thanks for your support - I know that the love we had before this snake tried to rip it apart is still alive because every day that I see my hubby and son together makes me so so happy.
Life will be great for us and we will have a long and happy life together - I am just irritated by the stupidity and arrogance of the idiot that still thinks she means something to my husband who didn't even think twice about the choice he made once the shit hit the fan......... funny that she thinks her existence on Lit somehow gives her the right to send him a PM but doesn't have the guts to talk to him in the main forum

"Just thought I'd say hi" lol"

was her message to him.. well just don't think honey cos it might hurt you and don't say hi cos he doesn't give shit!!

Now I have vented I feel so much better and will not say a lot more on the subject except to my husband::

I love you and I know you love me !!

 

[LadyG]

Told you you'd feel better once you vented!!

 

[LittleMsNaughty]

It's amazing - I went on a motivational course today where the guys doing the course said that if you stay in a negative place (be it work or personal life) you choose to be there... well I have chosen to be happy with my husband and to do a big UP YOURS to anyone that tries to take him from me and his cutey pie son (how could you resist that face?) and my best revenge is total happiness.

 

[Synnerman]

Lil'Ms, everyone focuses on what emotions a woman experiences when that new bundle of joy arrives.

I went and looked and yours is a darling to be sure.

The husband also has a whole range of new emotions to sort out. Sometimes he makes mistakes at that time and while not trying to excuse the mistake I would like you to at least understand his confusion.

Don't listen to anyone who says it will never work again. Stay with your commitment and expect him to do the same. This is just a new beginning with a new level of understanding.

This Ole Synner went that route once and having seen the error of his way he never looked back.

A lot of good years were had before other circumstances tore us apart. That baby has a baby of her own now and her mother and I are still friends.

It really can work and it is worth it.

Good luck, Syn

 

[intrigued]

Dammit! I thought when I followed the link to your sons pic, that I was posting here, but it seems I posted it there instead! Anyway, he is just precious!

 

[Lancecastor]

If you are a serious relationship or marriage and your SO had had an intimate moment with someone in real life ( and that person had been in your house and tried also to make friends with you) and they both had been caught out....... told to cool it and NOT contact each other EVER AGAIN!! Then out of the blue the other party decided that enough time had passed and it was okay for them to start contact again and you were aware of it??? What course of action would you take???

I think we need more details about the sexual acts they engaged in as well as her name.

Are there pictures to help us understand ?

I've seen and heard stories before about men who ditch their wives for cheap drrty slutty whores at the time of their child's birth.

Apparently for the father it's fear of his ability to parent...a bit like running from the altar, cold feet.

For the whore/slut, who is usually a scab who only fucks married guys, it's often a way to get back at her mother or an expression of the wish to fuck her daddy.

Messy stuff, so if they're still up to it, harsh, firm action is required.

I think you should spill all the beans, myself.