What to say or how much to say to kids and teens

[happybirthday]

I am asking this for a friend (no really I am). She has a nephew who is 14 and a niece who is 12. She has always been very open with them about sex. They both now want to know if she is having sex, masterbating, etc. She doe not know how much to tell them.

 

[SweetErika]

There's a great thread about this in The Blank Manual sticky at the top of How To, and have been other good discussions here as well if you do some searching. Not trying to discourage discussion, but rather give you some additional resources.

 

[EJFan]

They both now want to know if she is having sex, masterbating, etc. She doe not know how much to tell them.

my personal opinion is that she should tell them it's none of their damned business. having conversations about sex, being open about sex and addressing their questions, concerns, etc. are all great things. to even think about telling adolescent relatives about personal activities is crossing a line. answering questions or having a dialogue about methods and such is entirely different. those conversations should be encouraged and can be had in various ways depending on the age, maturity and intellect of the child.

openness need not be confused with an invitation to invade a person's privacy. this is a no-brainer in my mind.

 

[SweetErika]

my personal opinion is that she should tell them it's none of their damned business. having conversations about sex, being open about sex and addressing their questions, concerns, etc. are all great things. to even think about telling adolescent relatives about personal activities is crossing a line. answering questions or having a dialogue about methods and such is entirely different. those conversations should be encouraged and can be had in various ways depending on the age, maturity and intellect of the child.

openness need not be confused with an invitation to invade a person's privacy. this is a no-brainer in my mind.

Well said, EJ.

It seems like this would be a good opportunity to educate them on privacy and questions/topics that should be avoided for the comfort of others, too. One of our friends had a coworker who constantly asked personal questions about salaries, purchases, sex, religion, etc. In a very short time, no one in the large department was willing to speak to him at all because he was so invasive and pestered them until he got the answers he wanted.

 

[Guest]