what should i do?

[SuperDot69]

my best friend is in an emotionally/mentally abusive relationship. she's a very slim and attractive young woman(21), but the man(he's 30 yrs older than her) she's been living with/dating is treating her like shit! he's convinced her that she's unattractive and worthless...he even broke her finger a few weeks ago. he's forbidden her to be friends with me & my husband or have any contact with us. he's used his job to get ahold of my home address so he can threaten us with the police, but we've not done anything wrong..unless u count telling her to leave the bastard. i'm afraid that if she doesn't get out, he'll put her in the hospital. he's got my home ph #, my work #, my cell #, etc....In my mind, i know he can't do SHIT, because he's got no case.
I've also been warned that he says he's gonna take me to small claims court because i said that i thought he was an asshole. last time i looked, i was free, white & over 21 and it was a free country and that i was allowed to have and opinion and that that's just what that was, an opinion. grrrrr.....i'm so pissed right now. and upset. my nerves are about shot today.

sorry so long...
~Dot~

 

[Monazwx]

He sounds dangerous, but your friend needs help.
He picked a young and naive girl and is mainpulating her.
What a loser. He has your profile, (is he in law enforcement?), and that's disturbing.

Sadly, only the girl can decide weather or not she wants to continue to put up with it.
Maybe you can take her on outings and show her that life is more than a controlling man.
(If she can get out of the house).

 

[SuperDot69]

he works for our "911-dispatch call center", so i guess that's how he got my info. she's supposed to be packing now, but i just hope that she gets out. we were gonna go help her move, but her mom threatened to call him at work and tattle. apparently her parents are on his side. they can't see that anything is wrong. i've even offered her a room in my house RENT FREE & GROCERY FREE until she can get back on her feet, but her parents are being shits about it. *heavy sigh* I feel so lost.

 

[Monazwx]

Are her folks nuts?
Do they know about the level of violence in the relationship?

 

[magicpenis]

my best friend is in an emotionally/mentally abusive relationship. she's a very slim and attractive young woman(21), have and opinion and that that's just what that was, an opinion. grrrrr.....i'm so pissed right now. and upset. my nerves are about shot today.

sorry so long...
~Dot~

call the cops tell them hes been thretning you physicly. make up stuff if you have to. hes an assshole sometimes we have to play dirty to stop the asshole. get his numbers, address and stuff. call his work etc... if hes a cop , call the fbi

 

[ridddder]

Sounds like my sister's ex hubby....Our family came over while he was at work, and moved her out of the house. Changed our phone number, and then got the help of the police when he threatened us with a gun. Not to be fooled with, get her some help before it is too late.

 

[SuperDot69]

Are her folks nuts?
Do they know about the level of violence in the relationship?

yeah, they know. she told them & showed them her finger the night/day after it happened. they didn't seem to care. and they are taking her boyfriend's side in this whole thing. me, my husband, my sister-in-law, my older bro, and a friend of ours are trying to get her out and into a safer environment. but, the parentals are working against us.

 

[magicpenis]

never mind me

 

[Lost Cause]

9-1-1 Agencies......

They all have an internal affairs departments. Contact them with your problem, they will keep it quiet, but monitor him on the job. 9-1-1 dispatchers all go through background checks, and psychological profiles, due to the confidential nature of the work. If he did access your info on the job, there's a digital record of it. Unauthorized personal use of private info results in termination. You could make a preemptive move and get a restraining order against him, sending red flags up at work, and putting him on notice that his threats are now on record with the justice system. If he has a domestic abuse filed on him at any time, that restraining order is used in addition to the domestic, giving the victim(s) more leverage. Such legal action may change his attitude based on self-preservation, rather than redemption.

*Good luck!

 

[Monazwx]

No wonder she's so confused!
They're setting a horrible example.

She's lucky to have you and her husband as friends.
Since her family won't help, it's up to you and the other friends who care about her.
Also, a center for battered women would be helpful as well.
This way the gov't/law can sheild you both from this crazy guy's wrath.

 

[snake1500]

...Kick his ass comes to mind...
...I am from the south, and he deserved killing, is a valid defense...