What men & women have said they want from sex

[shy slave]

Saw this on a daytime TV programme in the UK.
I guess the people surveyed were mainly vanilla, but that is a guess


A survey of over 2000 women (in the UK) wanted to find out exactly what women want from sex?

The top four things were:
1. 24% thought that more affection would enhance their sex lives compared to more excitement
2. 21% would like more affection before and after sex compared to 15% of
men.
3. 12% more consideration of needs (‘needs’ were not specified)
4. 12% wanted more time on foreplay

Additionally:
1. 29% would prefer to be appreciated for the other 23 hours in the day.
2. 22% of women feared becoming unattractive to partner and 22% feared not satisfying a partner
3. 11% feared being discovered by the children 'doing it'
4. 4% worst sexual fear was losing sex drive

The same amount of men (in the UK) were surveyed

The top four things were:
1. 35% of men thought that more excitement (in relation to her being more adventurous, more spontaneous and/or more enthusiastic) would enhance their sex lives.
2. 34% men said they would like their partner to have a higher sex drive
3. 32% would like more oral sex
4. 15% of men would like to act out fantasies compared to 4% of women

Additionally:

1. 24% of men cited not being able to 'get it up' as their worse sexual fear
2. 20% men fear not being able to satisfy partner
3. 14% men feared 'coming' too soon.


Do you think this is an accurate view of what men and women want in a sex life?

Do you agree with the top four things cited for your sex?

 

[raven2]

Saw this on a daytime TV programme in the UK.
I guess the people surveyed were mainly vanilla, but that is a guess


A survey of over 2000 women (in the UK) wanted to find out exactly what women want from sex?

The top four things were:
1. 24% thought that more affection would enhance their sex lives compared to more excitement
2. 21% would like more affection before and after sex compared to 15% of
men.
3. 12% more consideration of needs (‘needs’ were not specified)
4. 12% wanted more time on foreplay

Additionally:
1. 29% would prefer to be appreciated for the other 23 hours in the day.
2. 22% of women feared becoming unattractive to partner and 22% feared not satisfying a partner
3. 11% feared being discovered by the children 'doing it'
4. 4% worst sexual fear was losing sex drive

The same amount of men (in the UK) were surveyed

The top four things were:
1. 35% of men thought that more excitement (in relation to her being more adventurous, more spontaneous and/or more enthusiastic) would enhance their sex lives.
2. 34% men said they would like their partner to have a higher sex drive
3. 32% would like more oral sex
4. 15% of men would like to act out fantasies compared to 4% of women

Additionally:

1. 24% of men cited not being able to 'get it up' as their worse sexual fear
2. 20% men fear not being able to satisfy partner
3. 14% men feared 'coming' too soon.


Do you think this is an accurate view of what men and women want in a sex life?

Do you agree with the top four things cited for your sex?

I would guess so. Certainly on the male side I feel that 3 out of the 4 are pretty much on the mark ( not the oral however, my wife really likes that) and I certainly think the affection is right for the women, although it may be true for both sexes. But 2000 each sex is a pretty small sample and in different countries there are bound to be different views.

 

[shy slave]

I would guess so. Certainly on the male side I feel that 3 out of the 4 are pretty much on the mark ( not the oral however, my wife really likes that) and I certainly think the affection is right for the women, although it may be true for both sexes. But 2000 each sex is a pretty small sample and in different countries there are bound to be different views.

I think your right about the different views from different countries.

Personally I looked at the results for women and came to the conclusion I must be a man!

I also agree that is a small survey

 

[Blushing Bottom]

Personally I looked at the results for women and came to the conclusion I must be a man!

LOL...too cute.

I agreed with #4 only.

...and I know I'm not a man nor are you, I've seen your picture.

 

[phoenixstone]

I wonder if, at least for women, age has anything to do with it, shy? I know in my twenties I thought more affection or foreplay would help. Now I know -- among other things -- that if we get it right I need absolutely no foreplay and that affection doesn't have to come into it, either. (ALWAYS worried that the guy's libido wouldn't be high enough, never about losing mine. not too likely, lol)

 

[shy slave]

I wonder if, at least for women, age has anything to do with it, shy? I know in my twenties I thought more affection or foreplay would help. Now I know -- among other things -- that if we get it right I need absolutely no foreplay and that affection doesn't have to come into it, either. (ALWAYS worried that the guy's libido wouldn't be high enough, never about losing mine. not too likely, lol)

Sadly they never said the age range surveyed.

What I thought was interesting is how many times women post here to ask how to get their vanilla husband more interested in excitment, yet in this survey men are saying that what they want.

Your right BB I checked by bits, I am not a man, I am a woman trapped in a mans sex drive.

Care to join me in this club?

 

[chris9]

I'll join the club, too.
More affection as opposed to more excitement? No, thanks. We can hug and kiss, go out to romantic dinners, whatever for affection. Sex is about excitement. At least most of the time.

 

[RJMasters]

One of the things that tends to screw up these types of surveys is the mismatch of understanding in words and means for men and women in general.

IN the above its funny that question #3 in the top four...about woman's needs being met....not being specified...but then down in the men's section its specified to mean Oral sex.

I see such ambiguity here. Perhaps if they would just ask women if they like oral attention on their pussy fro their partner...you might have a good one ofr one comparision.

I think another thing which skewers the results of many of these types of things are men's idea of arousal or exciting could be and usually is different than what women see as arousing and exciting. So asking the exact same question to both groups will still not provide a really good answer for comparison.

Most women's sex drives are just fine...its often that men just do not know how to tap into them. I am not talking about romance and all that...though that may do it for many women, I think romance really comes down to if he makes her feel special or that she sees herself special in his eyes. To me that not only encompasses vanilla, but also covers most of D/s/BDSM as well.

Do guys need to feel special in the same way that women do? I think there might be some overlap, however I think you can see a clear gap here of "what leads" to a bigger sexual drive for a woman and how that differs from what leads to a man's sexual drive(certainly not all cases).

So when I see these type of poles, I tend to scrutinize the terms used to see if they are making really good comparisons.

 

[Blushing Bottom]

Already there sweet shy.

I'm told I have the libido of 10 women.

Oh and I'll bet your bits are lovely.

Your right BB I checked by bits, I am not a man, I am a woman trapped in a mans sex drive.

Care to join me in this club?

 

[jadefirefly]

I'd be willing to bet if you asked the women what 'needs' were not being met, and to be specific, half wouldn't be able to give any detailed answer.

That's an excellent fallback answer for women when they're not happy with the sex, and they feel like something is missing from it, but they don't know what it is. It must mean that their needs aren't being fulfilled!

*shakes head* Oy.

 

[shy slave]

I'd be willing to bet if you asked the women what 'needs' were not being met, and to be specific, half wouldn't be able to give any detailed answer.

That's an excellent fallback answer for women when they're not happy with the sex, and they feel like something is missing from it, but they don't know what it is. It must mean that their needs aren't being fulfilled!

*shakes head* Oy.

Thats so true.

Without being sexist I find men are much better at being specific aout what they want or aspire to, women use subjective, vague language (myself included).

 

[raven2]

LOL...too cute.

I agreed with #4 only.

...and I know I'm not a man nor are you, I've seen your picture.

I am assuming that is #4 for women, not men. :rose

 

[raven2]

Thats so true.

Without being sexist I find men are much better at being specific aout what they want or aspire to, women use subjective, vague language (myself included).

That is very interesting. I guess I would agree with that. Do you think that it may go with women using figurative names for things like "whatchamacallit" I have noticed that a women seems to understand what is meant by a term like that than a man does who is usually bewildered by it. I wonder if it has to do with they way women use their brains (right vs left sided) vs men or that they are just more intuitive.

 

[FurryFury]

Saw this on a daytime TV programme in the UK.
I guess the people surveyed were mainly vanilla, but that is a guess

A survey of over 2000 women (in the UK) wanted to find out exactly what women want from sex?

The top four things were:
1. 24% thought that more affection would enhance their sex lives compared to more excitement
2. 21% would like more affection before and after sex compared to 15% of
men.
3. 12% more consideration of needs (‘needs’ were not specified)
4. 12% wanted more time on foreplay

Additionally:
1. 29% would prefer to be appreciated for the other 23 hours in the day.
2. 22% of women feared becoming unattractive to partner and 22% feared not satisfying a partner
3. 11% feared being discovered by the children 'doing it'
4. 4% worst sexual fear was losing sex drive

The same amount of men (in the UK) were surveyed

The top four things were:
1. 35% of men thought that more excitement (in relation to her being more adventurous, more spontaneous and/or more enthusiastic) would enhance their sex lives.
2. 34% men said they would like their partner to have a higher sex drive
3. 32% would like more oral sex
4. 15% of men would like to act out fantasies compared to 4% of women

Additionally:

1. 24% of men cited not being able to 'get it up' as their worse sexual fear
2. 20% men fear not being able to satisfy partner
3. 14% men feared 'coming' too soon.


Do you think this is an accurate view of what men and women want in a sex life?

Do you agree with the top four things cited for your sex?

I would have agreed with it in my first marriage. That was a marriage of, almost exclusively, non consent sex. It was a relationship full of pain. I absolutely would have felt that way.

However, in my second marriage I got all of those things. My insecurity rather than being honed to a fine cutting edge was softened. I have been constantly surprised to have such a relationship.

Now in the last year or so I have found other things I want. *smiles* You just never know do you?

I don't want to eliminate anything I have now. I just want some other things added in. There are days when I feel it's not going to happen ever and get frustrated. There are days when he surprises me with exactly what I need.

What truly matters though is that we are partners and friends. We love, like and respect one another. We communicate pretty darn well too. You gotta be able to do that.

So yes, I would have agreed with that 16 years ago. Now I don't.

Fury

 

[shy slave]

That is very interesting. I guess I would agree with that. Do you think that it may go with women using figurative names for things like "whatchamacallit" I have noticed that a women seems to understand what is meant by a term like that than a man does who is usually bewildered by it. I wonder if it has to do with they way women use their brains (right vs left sided) vs men or that they are just more intuitive.

The left v right side of the brain could be a reason but so could environmental conditioning.

Thats a nature/nurture debate that I can see both the pro and cons for.

But it may be looking to deep into a small survey

 

[raven2]

The left v right side of the brain could be a reason but so could environmental conditioning.

Thats a nature/nurture debate that I can see both the pro and cons for.

But it may be looking to deep into a small survey

I gotta agree with you there, shy. It is always dangerous to read too much into things.