What kind of a masochist ARE you, anyway?!

[Technodivinitas]

I've known painsluts, and shame sluts, and just plain "sick wierdos" and I've been trying for a long time to define my niche as a masochist. Best description I've come up with is the "Martyr-Maso". I absolutely adore suffering, BUT- it must be for someone else's pleasure or amusement, AND- it generally spoils it for me to admit to myself that I'm having a good time. Is that odd? Conversely, if the top that's causing my suffering/debasement uses my own enjoyment against me, by forcing me to say it, it creates a debasement all unto itself, and becomes a wild turn on.

By that same definition, I love watching the suffering/debasement/subjegation of other subs too- but only when they're apparently not having fun.

What kind of a Masochist are you, and how do you describe it?

 

[shy slave]

I've known painsluts, and shame sluts, and just plain "sick wierdos" and I've been trying for a long time to define my niche as a masochist. Best description I've come up with is the "Martyr-Maso". I absolutely adore suffering, BUT- it must be for someone else's pleasure or amusement, AND- it generally spoils it for me to admit to myself that I'm having a good time. Is that odd? Conversely, if the top that's causing my suffering/debasement uses my own enjoyment against me, by forcing me to say it, it creates a debasement all unto itself, and becomes a wild turn on.

By that same definition, I love watching the suffering/debasement/subjegation of other subs too- but only when they're apparently not having fun.

What kind of a Masochist are you, and how do you describe it?

Its a good question Techno.

Before meeting my Master I was not a painslut/Masochist/whatever at all. I enjoyed humiliation and bondage and that was pretty much it. I had so many hard limits it took three days to list them

Now I enjoy suffering for his pleasure and when he torments and taunts me with words at the same time, it fuels my will to endure the it increasing the final orgasm tenfold.

I hate and loathe the cane/whip/crop but I love to see the marks it has left, knowing I was able to take that level of pain.

There are painful aspects I enjoy skin abrasion, nipple & breast torment being some examples.

I need to hear what He plans to do, how and when. This marked the beginning of our relationship when we spoke on the 'phone and stated how He was going to greet me.
By the time we finally met I was ready to explode

I continue need bondage, humiliation & debasement in order for me to enjoy it, so i guess that makes me a shame slut first and foremost.

I think this may be changing, into needing, but continuing to dislike, pain.
I have come to this conclusion because prior to meeting Him I used toys on myself several times a day and they worked wonderfully well
The more pain I take with Him, the less effective toys are when He is not there.

I cringe if I have to see other subs suffering and cannot watch, feeling it both cruel and terrible.

To sum up I am perhaps a shame slut with the potential of a painslut who dislikes cruelty.

God maybe I do need therapy ~ wheres that troll bytor 2112 when you need him lol

 

[Technodivinitas]

Therapy Thread?

I've always felt that analyzing the nature of my submission was pretty solid therapy for all the various dark corners, though I still have that issue about not wanting to admit to wanting it. I was a bit of a tramp in high school, (seeking approval, in that foolish teenaged way we sometimes do,) and I guess now I like to RP being the innocent victim of things that some part of my brain still considers to be dirty or bad or base. Oddly, I don't have a conscious problem with dirtiness, badness, or baseness- the baser the better! I like my sex about as dirty as it gets. (That's a pretty wierd paradox too, I guess.) But sort of a retroactive "It's okay because it's not your fault" thing.

In recent years though, it's been evolving into a sort of Zen meditation thing, too- Humility of the deepest sort, the total yielding of the flesh & mind to another's will, for the simple purpose of their pleasure. I am getting pretty proud of my recent levels of humility.

Another fairly new development, or at least realization, is that opperant conditioning thing I've mentioned elsewhere- I crave pain & deep debasement because I associate it with his pleasure. I think that's been kinda working against me lately though, as he seems to be shying away from going much deeper. not sure if it's because he's as deep as he wants to get, or if it's because he fears I'll judge him poorly for the dark corners of his brain, or maybe he fears he'll go too far and cause me harm. I DO so wish he'd tell me those things!

I recently passed him a note in my most submissive voice, begging him to re-discover my limits, and begin stretching them again, and he seems to be taking me up on it! ~Happyslavedance~

Here's another thread that probably needs starting: How come all the books say that Shame & Humiliation play are almost exclusive to male subs, and that women never like to go there? Almost every fem-sub I've ever met has loved that aspect!

 

[shy slave]

Zen meditation ~ If the scene has few words said and is repetative for periods of time ie flogging/bondage the effect and after effect are on the level with meditation for me.
I try to meditate daily The first time I got to a meditative state thorugh a scene i was shocked/amazed/elated and now want it every time!
Not sure its the same as sub-space, as each persons sub-space is different but it is relaxing and inspiring.

As for books on submissive/slaves why are they usually written by men who also write 'Topping' books or by a Master/slave combined effort.
It has always surprised me that we have some strong subs on here, anyone of whom who could write a book (or a musical Hmmm who could that be aimed at I wonder? ) yet we 'make do' with odd articles on the web or books for subs written by male Doms.
Although DVS's piece on sub courage was (for me) spot on. So some Doms' have the knack obviously..
DVS wheres the book to go with the piece you have already written ?!

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

What kind of a Masochist are you, and how do you describe it?

I am a pain slut. I crave intense sensations, all the time. I don't get them because I can't find anyone willing to give the pain I need without expecting submission (blech) but yet the craving, need, is still there.

That's the short answer and the honest one...

Luna

 

[shy slave]

OOPS

Tried to edit the above post but the computer doesn't seem to want to play nicely.
Its DVS not WD who wrote about sub courage.
Sorry to mislead you all, its a thread in the cafe
https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=262598&pagenumber=2
Hope that link works

 

[shy slave]

Re: OOPS

Tried to edit the above post but the computer doesn't seem to want to play nicely.
Its DVS not WD who wrote about sub courage.
Sorry to mislead you all, its a thread in the cafe
https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=262598&pagenumber=2
Hope that link works

I think my computer is a man, and bloody minded. I just looked back and it had edited (at last!)

 

[shy slave]

Re: Re: OOPS

I think my computer is a man, and bloody minded. I just looked back and it had edited (at last!)

Now I have re-posted Damn, Damn, Damn

*Looks for a window to throw computer out of *

Will stalk Luna whilst i have all these posts... Blows kisses and waves demurely

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

Re: Re: Re: OOPS

Now I have re-posted Damn, Damn, Damn

*Looks for a window to throw computer out of *

Will stalk Luna whilst i have all these posts... Blows kisses and waves demurely

MMM stalked by the shy one...wonders if I should drag her to the cafe'

I say you shoot the computer and then come sit on my lap and tell me about your day

(ending hi-jack now, Techno..)

 

[shy slave]

Re: Re: Re: Re: OOPS

MMM stalked by the shy one...wonders if I should drag her to the cafe'

I say you shoot the computer and then come sit on my lap and tell me about your day

(ending hi-jack now, Techno..)

Have shot computer, and heading for the cafe, now can I sit on your lap; or will you think i am not so shy lol

Sorry for the hijack Techno

 

[Xelebes]

Hmmm who could that be aimed at I wonder?

DON'T MAKE ME THINK HERE!!!!

Sorry for the hijack Techno turns on techno... ... ... ...

Hehe... anywho, I guess I would be a somewhereinbetween slut. Uh, yeah that's it. I think. Or is that just plain sicko slut?

 

[ownedsubgal]

i'm a strange sort of masochist. i hate pain. pain of any kind. i never enjoy it. it doesn't arouse me, doesn't turn me on, doesn't make me feel good at all. yet i need it, crave it. i need to suffer at the hands (or will) of a man...not just physically but emotionally, even psychologically. i need to feel/be abused, mistreated. i need to be hurt, basically. for some reason being hurt fulfills something within me...likely something sick (sick as in psychologically ill), something damaged deep down. it doesn't make me happy to be hurt. it doesn't make me horny or cum to be hurt. but being hurt is one of the things i need in order to feel whole.

 

[Technodivinitas]

That sounds like it could bear a little self-analysis, subgal... It doesn't make you feel good, and yet you feel it's necessary- So what does it make you feel? What is the nature of the hole in you that it fulfills?

 

[AnelizeDarkEyes]

Well, now. Things have changed around here on the maso front of late. It's an interesting change.

The sadist loves it.

I used to be an endorphin junkie. I chased that subspace buzz--the more he beat me the deeper I went. I was off in la-la land, higher than a kite fairly soon after he broke out the heavy stuff. Great for me, but frustrating for him.

Sadists like to hear you scream, you know. Hehe.

Somewhere in there something changed. I really started getting off on the actual pain. Getting into the sensation of the instruments, and not the buzz. It was an amazing switch. It's not to say I don't achieve subspace anymore, because I do. It's just not that deep, all-encompassing disassociative state. It's just enough to enjoy. Just enough to fly a little. Just enough to keep the screams down to a dull roar.

LOL.

Regarding humiliation? It rocks. Nothing gets me out of my ego-driven, will-driven self like a hefty dose of humiliation. He uses it regularly.

I love it. Which poses the question, is it still humiliating if you love it? *shrugs* Yeah. It is. I recall be snatched up by the hair in Wal-Mart the other day and being directed in another direction because I wasn't paying attention to the task at hand. Humiliating? Yep. Did I get turned on by it too? Yep.

Case closed.

~anelize

 

[RavenSpirit2k4]

Re: Re: What kind of a masochist ARE you, anyway?!

I am a pain slut. I crave intense sensations, all the time. I don't get them because I can't find anyone willing to give the pain I need without expecting submission (blech) but yet the craving, need, is still there.

That's the short answer and the honest one...

Luna

I'm much the same. I like to be spanked, paddled, flogged, whipped or whatever and then rode hard. (Clamps used to get me going, but not much anymore.) But I don't really want to submit.

 

[Technodivinitas]

It used to be that I was dead-set against submitting. I relished that whole "proud, unbroken woman ravished by the BadGuy" image, I suppose. Then my Master actually broke me. One day, I just suddenly found myself begging him to mold me completely to his will. Came as a bit of a shock to us both!

 

[DarkLadyOfDeath]

Painslut.. deffinately.. If i don't feel some amount of pain either self inflicted or by anothers hand.. I just can't orgasm without well getting bored first.. I've not had my limits tested much and what testing and such I've done to myself only make me seek another to do it so much more. I enjoy humiliation but not verbal.. ( Oh yes. verbal abuse child here.) I can take and adore physical humiliation like being drug around by my hair or forced to my knees and "made" to give oral. things that for me are both humiliating, and demeaning. It's not so much the force.. but the lacking of options.. that and I'm a lil' shit.. I like to test and test and see what I can get away with. and reveal in the consiquences. I guess I just like being naughty.. and getting a spanking for being a bad girl...

 

[ownedsubgal]

That sounds like it could bear a little self-analysis, subgal... It doesn't make you feel good, and yet you feel it's necessary- So what does it make you feel? What is the nature of the hole in you that it fulfills?

what's the nature of the hole it fulfills? it's a hole that can only be filled with suffering, with having been hurt. it feels right...not good, but simply right. as in, this is the way things should be. this is natural. this is what i am here for......that is the only way i can really explain it.

 

[Technodivinitas]

subgal- ~slightly worried look~ Well, I do hope at least that it doesn't leave you feeling bad! None of us can define what any other takes away from their BDsM experiences, but one would hope it to be a healing experience, or, barring that, at least not one which further harms.

DarkLady- Dammit, that's it. I'ma gonna go start up that fems & humiliation thread now!

 

[s'lara]

i think masochism is tough to define as its definition evolves constantly for some of us and to pin it down is kind of hard.

Pain, humiliation, debasement, suffering are all part of the masochist's sliding scale, but since we have our own mixed flavors, i think it's pretty much about which mixtures create the strongest reaction. By reaction, i mean internal, emotional response to what we're enduring. Today a craving for debasement may be tomorrow's fear. i don't know if i could make a laundry list for what constitutes my masochism, but i do know that pain is an important component. As to the other types of masochism, those are necessary as well and require a finesse in order to make them unbearable -- which is exactly what makes the use of humiliation, debasement and abject suffering so addictive.

lara

 

[Phoenix Stone]

Well I've pretty much said I'm no painslut. started a thread on d/s Without the pain or bondage, for instance. And yet.... Love those hickies. And taking it lower down my back. And the embarrassment of having to wear turtlenecks to the PTA meetings, or forgetting to

And, er, some of that other stuff people mentioned -- being dragged around by the hair, on my knees... THAT kind of pain, mindplay of all sorts. Oh YES PLEASE

Spankings I've only had light ones, still while I can't say anything heavier like whippings attract me, it does sound like people change, or go deeper sometimes. Not a primary motivator but a definite tickle. More the shameplay and mindplay D/s for me.

 

[Phoenix Stone]

(or a musical Hmmm who could that be aimed at I wonder? )

 

[Etoile]

I'm not a painslut, and yet sometimes I ask to be whipped. It's because I want the attention that's required for a proper whipping, to know that my ass (thighs, whatever) is the focus of my Daddy's attention.

I'm not really into humiliation much. I only get into it if I can tell Daddy's really enjoying it. There have been times when e's not very into it, but is trying anyway to see what happens, and then I'm just miserable.

I'm not sure what kind of masochist I am. I'm a delicate person, I know that much. I guess you could say I'm a loving masochist. I don't enjoy the masochism for its own sake, but rather because I love my Daddy, who has sadistic tendencies. Does that make any sense at all?

 

[Technodivinitas]

Perfect sense!

That's pretty close to exactly how I feel about pain, at least now. It used to be different, as I said before, but then, along the lines
of what s'lara said, it evolves as we evolve. Pretty cool, that.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

A Bump

For those that like pain.

How do you want it? How does it feel?
Comin up as a nigga in the cash game
livin in the fast lane; I'm for real
How do you want it? How do you feel?
Comin up as a nigga in the cash game
livin in the fast lane; I'm for real


Love the way you activate your hips and push your ass out
Got a nigga wantin it so bad I'm bout to pass out
Wanna dig you, and I can't even lie about it
Baby just alleviate your clothes, time to fly up out it
Catch you at a club, oh shit you got me fiendin
Body talkin shit to me but I can't comprehend the meaning
Now if you wanna roll with me, then here's your chance
Doin eighty on the freeway, police catch me if you can
Forgive me i'm a rider, still I'm just a simple man
All I want is money, fuck the fame I'm a simple man
Mr. International, playa with the passport
Just like Aladdin bitch, get you anything you ask for
It's either him or me -- champagne, Hennessey
A favorite of my homies when we floss, on our enemies
Witness as we creep to a low speed, peep what a hoe need
Puff some mo' weed, funk, ya don't need
Approachin hoochies with a passion, been a long day
But I've been driven by attraction in a strong way
Your body is bangin baby I love it when you flaunt it
Time to give it to daddy nigga now tell me how you want it
(Tell me how you want it! La-dy, yeahhhyeah)


Tell me is it cool to fuck?
Did you think I come to talk am I a fool or what?
Positions on the floor it's like erotic, ironic
cause I'm somewhat psychotic
I'm hittin switches on bitches like I been fixed with hydraulics
Up and down like a roller coaster, I'm up inside ya
I ain't quittin til the show is over, cause I'ma rider
In and out just like a robbery, I'll probably be a freak
and let you get on top of me, get her rockin these
Nights full of Alize, a livin legend
You ain't heard about these niggaz play these Cali days
Delores Tucker, youse a motherfucker
Instead of tryin to help a nigga you destroy a brother
Worse than the others -- Bill Clinton, Mr. Bob Dole
You're too old to understand the way the game is told
You're lame so I gotta hit you with the hot facts
Want some on lease? I'm makin millions, niggaz top that
They wanna censor me; they'd rather see me in a cell
livin in hell -- only a few of us'll live to tell
Now everybody talkin bout us I could give a fuck
I'd be the first one to bomb and cuss
Nigga tell me how you want it


Raised as a youth, tell the truth I got the scoop
on how to get a bulletproof, because I jumped from the roof
before I was a teenager, mobile phone, SkyPager
Game rules, I'm livin major -- my adversaries
is lookin worried, they paranoid of gettin buried
One of us gon' see the cemetary
My only hope to survive if I wish to stay alive
Gettin high, see the demons in my eyes, before I die
I wanna live my life and ball, make a couple million
And then I'm chillin fade em all, these taxes
got me crossed up and people tryin to sue me
Media is in my business and they actin like they know me
Hahaha, but I'ma mash out, peel out
I'm with it quick I'se quick to whip that fuckin steel out
Yeah nigga it's some new shit so better get up on it
When ya see me tell a nigga how ya want it
How do you want it?


Tell me


Cash game, livin in the fast lane, I'm for real