What I have learned at Lit/BDSM

[Johnny Mayberry]

Re: Re: What, me, stir up shit?

Okay, I was wrong. There are passive/aggressive posters at bdsm.

But thankfully, they are few.

Where? Not here!!

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Re: Re: What, me, stir up shit?

Double post...

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Re: Re: What, me, stir up shit?

son of a bitch!!

 

[A Desert Rose]

Can you hear me now?

Lesson #9 Because of the mode of communication here (the written word) it is really easy to misunderstand the intent of other posters.

example #1- In a thread the other day, I made a selfefacing joke about my lack of depth. The thread starter, who does not know me or my sense of humor, took my comment seriously.

I should have been more clear that I was making a joke about myself.

example #2- I was trying to make a point to Catalina earlier in this thread, but I was trying to be indirect about it. I ended up offending her, which was not at all my intent.

Again, I handled it badly.

It's really easy to take what someone posts and misread what they mean. When that happens to me and if it matters, I will go to PM and ask them to clarify for me. And if I am misunderstood, usually through my own fault, I will PM that person (as I did with Catalina) and explain myself as fully as possible.

So much can be solved and so many things can me overted if we don't jump to conclusions right off the bat. I really try not to be vague in my postings. And I think I am usually successful. The one time I try to be (with Catalina's post) I fail.

;-)

 

[A Desert Rose]

Re: Re: Re: What, me, stir up shit?

son of a bitch!!

Are you trying to make a point?





LMAO.....

 

[catalina_francisco]

Re: Can you hear me now?

I really try not to be vague in my postings. And I think I am usually successful. The one time I try to be (with Catalina's post) I fail.

;-)

Hey, you don't want to become the alternative like me and make long winded posts when you are trying to get a message across, and still feel because the brain cells are not co-operating you still did not manage!! One of my mentors when I was a student made a good observation which I try and keep in mind: There are no such things as mistakes, just learning experiences to grow through.

Catalina

 

[A Desert Rose]

Re: Re: Can you hear me now?

One of my mentors when I was a student made a good observation which I try and keep in mind: There are no such things as mistakes, just learning experiences to grow through.

Catalina

Or this one by Thomas Edison, that went kind of like this:

I have not failed, I have found 10,000 ways that don't work.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Re: Re: Re: Re: What, me, stir up shit?

Are you trying to make a point?





LMAO.....

Not me, never me...

Passive agressive doesn't work so well for me. I try it, and then I wind up just saying something like 'Look, you fucking bitch, you made me feel like shit, tried to destroy my self esteem, and ate all my goddamned pudding pops!"

 

[A Desert Rose]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: What, me, stir up shit?

Not me, never me...

Passive agressive doesn't work so well for me. I try it, and then I wind up just saying something like 'Look, you fucking bitch, you made me feel like shit, tried to destroy my self esteem, and ate all my goddamned pudding pops!"

Note to all:

Keep your hands off Johnny's pudding pops! Everything else is fair game.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Re: Re: Re: Can you hear me now?

Or this one by Thomas Edison, that went kind of like this:

I have not failed, I have found 10,000 ways that don't work.

I like that one!!...and I think Johnny is trying to tease us enough we will steal all his pudding pops and run!!

 

[Effigy]

Re: This is just for me, okay?

This is what I have learned here.

#1 Most people are full of shit at least part of the time. Many are that way all of the time.

#2 People who spend a lot of energy defending the "real life-ness" of their experience are usually complete novices.

#3 Long distance relationships are very hard to maintain.

#4 Taking fledgling relationships public usually results in a round of public humiliation for the sharers.

#5 Some people really and truly cannot spell, and do not understand the most basic rules of grammar. Nothing anyone can do will change this. Resistance is futile.

#6 Never is usually right.

#7 So is Lance, though he's also an asshole, which tends to undermine his points.

#8 Taking what people say personally when you've never even seen them in person is silly and leads nowhere.

#9 Most people don't require moderation, and those that do will fight it every inch of the way.

#10 I'm better at dishing it out than taking it.

#11 KillerMuffin is like me with regards to #10, only even more so.

#12 Written expressions of giggling annoy me to no end. *giggle*

#13 Some people shine up their "I'm smart" merit badges even more often than I do.

#14 No one is irreplaceable.

#15 Memories are very short.

#16 Fetish auctioneer is actually pretty cool.

#17 Debates over definitions never yield productive results.

#18 Copyrighted images are here to stay.

#19 90% of any given debate can be traced back to a basic google search.

#20 Once cynicism sets in, it's tough to roll it back.

I just wanted to quote the smartass

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Re: Re: This is just for me, okay?

i loved ...

#17 Debates over definitions never yield productive results.

#19 90% of any given debate can be traced back to a basic google search.

 

[RisiaSkye]

Catalina said: "Hey, you don't want to become the alternative like me and make long winded posts when you are trying to get a message across, and still feel because the brain cells are not co-operating you still did not manage!!"

Wow, that takes me back. I remember when I resembled that remark, but now I've revised my repartee toward self-amusement. (Sorry, having an attack of Rejoinder Reflux Disease.)

Sure, it's masturbatory to post without genuflecting toward communication and the almighty Community Spirit. But it's a great deal less emotionally complicated.

~~~~~~~~

And on related notes:

Effigy--you calling me the smartass begs the "pot or fucking kettle" question more than a little bit, doesn't it? Missed you lately, kiddo.

And, Assassin: Thanks, dude. I'm out of the "Who's Who" loop these days, but I've come in behind you on a few threads this week and been digging your style. Good to meet you.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Risia S, Sorry to hear you are not in the WW loop, though I am not much into seeing it that way myself. Despite our sometimes (not alway) different views, I am sincere in saying your posts of old are missed by some, myself included, especially on days like today when I sorely need something to make my brain cells wake up.

Catalina

 

[A Desert Rose]

Lesson #10 Lit:Where you can still yell "FIRE!"

There is no cenorship at Lit, except in very specific circumstances.

No one died and made anyone the czar or czarina of censorship, but I do think that many are the self appointed patrolmen/women of passive/aggressive postings, in some vain, and I might add obvious, attempt to silence others.

Laurel and Manu have provided us with a wonderful little ignore feature. It's a wonderful button for those who cannot stomach what some people post or take this place more seriously than others of us do or have other personal reasons for boycotting a poster.

There is also something called Private Messaging. It works wonders to clarify things. In the past, it helped me and another poster come to a very amicable agreement. To this day, that poster and I have both lived up to our agreement. And, although I can't speak for that person, as far as I am concerned, it has worked out very well.

I will not use the passive/aggressive phraseology like "you know who you are." Case in point is a thread in the cafe started by Impish called Please think.

People will not be mother-henned. They will post as they so choose to and the reader has a couple of tools at his/her disposal if the post is offensive or rude or not understood.

The beauty of Lit is that everyone has a medium to voice their opinions and everyone has the right to read, agree, disagree, ignore or scroll past whatever they so choose.....just like this post and this thread.

 

[cellis]

First off I don't know how I missed this thread...

And Rose I hope the new job is working out for you....


I have learned many things at Lit... first and foremost that these little dots I use all the time drive certain people crazy... I am not going to stop using them.... I like them and they are a part of me....

I don't think this is passive aggressive behavior... rather just one of the those little things that I refuse to let go of...

I have learned too that there are a couple of places on the net where I really fit and Lit is one of them... from the time I walked in here (Figuratively).... I have felt at home... The old mother thread was the bomb and if you were not here back then, well it was a different day and time...

I have learned like others that flame wars come and go.... so I choose to come and go.... or wait them out... I will not spend my time or energy participating in them...

I never use ignore, but I have should have on a couple of occassions in the past.... instead I just use the skip method... you know skip over the posters that get on my nerves...

I will have to think about this some more and come back to it later...

Rose dear thanks for such a great thread!

 

[A Desert Rose]

First off I don't know how I missed this thread...

And Rose I hope the new job is working out for you....

Thank you Cellis, the job is going very well and although I have a lot to learn again, so many things just don't change. I had a personal crisis that I thought would take me more time and energy to solve but it worked itself out quite well, for the most part. Maybe it will not take up the time I thought it would.

I have learned many things at Lit... first and foremost that these little dots I use all the time drive certain people crazy... I am not going to stop using them.... I like them and they are a part of me....

I use these little dots too... ;-)

I don't think this is passive aggressive behavior... rather just one of the those little things that I refuse to let go of...

Because we won't change our posting style for someone else, does not constitute passive/aggression. Maybe we are stubborn... or maybe we just like it the way it is. ;-)

I have learned too that there are a couple of places on the net where I really fit and Lit is one of them... from the time I walked in here (Figuratively).... I have felt at home... The old mother thread was the bomb and if you were not here back then, well it was a different day and time...

I have been here over a year and just found out the other night, from a sweet fellow poster, where the mother thread is. It's a shame that more of the newbie's are not aware of it. It's full of useful and informative thoughts.

I have learned like others that flame wars come and go.... so I choose to come and go.... or wait them out... I will not spend my time or energy participating in them...

I never use ignore, but I have should have on a couple of occassions in the past.... instead I just use the skip method... you know skip over the posters that get on my nerves...

Like you, I never use the ignore feature. I guess my opinion is that no one is important enough for me to ignore them. No one at Lit has that much control over my behavior or my feelings. And I certainly would never tell them, if they did. ;-)

I will have to think about this some more and come back to it later...

Rose dear thanks for such a great thread!

I have a feeling you are one of the few who thinks so, but thank you for posting here. I always look forward to your remarks, where ever you post.

It always surprises me how much you and I and a few other women posters here, think a like.

 

[Desdemona]

I like this thread.

 

[cellis]

I like this thread.

Me too Des!

How are you by the way?

 

[Desdemona]

I'm good Cellis. You have a PM.

 

[cellis]

I'm good Cellis. You have a PM.

Thanks!

 

[cellis]

Some other things I learned at Lit...

I learned that no matter how hard you try to keep things the same... they change inspite of your best efforts... sometimes percipitated by a flame war... but everything changes...


I also learned that threads and discussion groups have a life of their own and they grow at their own pace and trying to control them will make you crazy or just send you over the bend....


I learned that you can make good friends from people you meet on line...


Like Risia... I learned that Never is usually right... I wonder where she is about now?


I learned that good people do die... Like artful... I miss him terribly... there is a void here at Lit since he passed...


I also learned that not everyone is here to learn and grow... I know there are some people who are here just to hear the sound of their own clapping.... it is a zen thing... and no matter how you try to help some people... they are never going to get it... no matter what...


I also learned that there are good people on the general board and they are a lot of fun.... We had a little Houston get together and then I went to Austin and met Dusty and Jessie and a host of other people including Dr J who is wonderful....


I know I have learned other things... Oh here is one.... I have learned that Angelic Assassin has the best photos and knows how to embed them in his posts...

 

[James G 5]

I also learned that not everyone is here to learn and grow... I know there are some people who are here just to hear the sound of their own clapping.... it is a zen thing...

Man, I'm just here for the chicks

 

[A Desert Rose]

Some other things I learned at Lit...

I know there are some people who are here just to hear the sound of their own clapping.... it is a zen thing...

"It's a zen thing..." now there's a knee slapper! I almost peed my pants when I read that.

Thank you Cellis.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Man, I'm just here for the chicks

And you felt you needed to report the obvious to us?

I'll alert the media on this one, James.

LMAO