what do we do?

[Guest]

ok, next question......

what do we do when we fight, and we know we are wrong?

How hard is it to swallow your pirde?

 

[Willing and Unsure]

i dont swallow my pride until the other person can show me that i'm wrong.. whether i know it or not (which i usually know it before they do, assuming they figure it out). and consider how i argue/fight with people, i usually find a way to twist some of their words or find somewhere that they contradicted themself that it turns the argument and somehow i come out as being right.

 

[freescorfr]

If it gets as far as a fight, I know I'm wrong. Moreover, I know I didn't know where I was in the first place.

 

[naudiz]

If I know I'm wrong, I own up. Period. To do otherwise feels like lying to me. This has made for some interesting conversations where, in the middle of a heated debate, I suddenly say, "Hold on. I'm completely full of shit," and then explain why. Either I have no pride to swallow, or I'm confident enough not to feel threatened by admitting my own and very human capacity for error.

Granted, if I am wrong and don't realize it, I'll fight tooth and nail, right up until I see the light. If it's a matter of opinion, I will debate from that position until someone can prove to me it's baseless. I mean proof, too. Not batter me down with words, not rant incessantly. Show me proof. Name me a source. Quote me research, and yes I will snoop around to see if it checks out. If the cold hard facts say "BZZT! WRONG!" then see my first paragraph. Otherwise? Bring it.

 

[Svedish_Chef]

She who rocks.. where is your ICQ hmmm???

 

[MissTaken]

A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down....


and I swallow my pride easily enough.

In fact, sometimes I give up the fight too easily.

 

[Laurel]

I don't. If during a fight I realize I'm wrong, I just yell louder. When my opponent concedes, THEN I admit I'm wrong and apologize...because it's all about winning. Go Team!

 

[freescorfr]

I don't. If during a fight I realize I'm wrong, I just yell louder. When my opponent concedes, THEN I admit I'm wrong and apologize...because it's all about winning. Go Team!

cat hartic, I'd say.

 

[Laurel]

VERY cat hartic.

 

[naudiz]

ICQ! I remember that thing vaguely. It's awaiting the repair of the silicon bitch I call my computer so it'll stop crashing. Did I mention my computer is a bitch? It is.

 

[T.H. Oughts]

If I know I am right I will discuss the subject in full to try and get my point across. But if the other person is going to be arrogant about it all and not accept my proven thoughts in a clean cut subject I just walk away.....there is enough shit in life already....

If I am wrong I always say sorry or admit that they are right....

 

[MechaBlade]

When you realize you are wrong, just say, "Yeah, well, you stink!" and run the other way.

Works for me.

 

[MaxSebastian]

A great favourite of mine is:

"I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking."

It works on so many levels.

 

[WhiteRose]

I thought the rule was: If you're male, you're wrong

Just kidding, although my brother who has been married for four years now, recently went to my dad, very puzzled, and asked if it's normal to be yelled at by your wife if you haven't done anything wrong. Welcome to married life? hehe

If I fight and I KNOW I'm wrong...hrm that doesn't happen very often, because I'll usually listen if they have anything logical to say so it rarely turns into a fight. Unless my emotions are very involved in whatever it's about, like in a relationship and the topic has something to do with being faithful or not getting enough attention. My point of view might be right, but sometimes it's more a matter of how I'm handling it that is wrong, and I know that but can't stop myself and I attack.

 

[Guest]

A great favourite of mine is:

"I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking."

It works on so many levels.

My first husband broke me on saying this. If I said "I wasn't thinking....." he'd interupt me and say.....

"That's right, you DIDN'T THINK."

If I said "I thought....." he'd say

"Oh my god.....we must put up a plack here..... Moon THOUGHT here!"

course you know why he's my ex now....

Moon

 

[Guest]

I don't. If during a fight I realize I'm wrong, I just yell louder. When my opponent concedes, THEN I admit I'm wrong and apologize...because it's all about winning. Go Team!

hehe, I love your little dittos......

Moon

 

[scylis]

if i'm wrong, then the whole of existance ends.

 

[just pet]

I am not confrontational at all... I would rather listen to the other side. Most issues are not worth arguing over. We argue vehemently over matters of opinion or emotionally based issues. I state my case, listen to the other side, and reassess my standing. Too many more interesting things to occupy my time and mind then arguing or yelling. Think it's too much meditation and not enough coffee?

 

[SXCRgirl]

I'm so not about fighting lately. I don't even know why, I just am not.

I think that two people communicate better if they attempt to hold their tempers. Blah blah blah, right?

If all else fails, I'm with Laurel. I just yell louder.

 

[Oilpainter]

Sorry

Just say your sorry and mean it.

 

[Guest]

Re: Sorry

Just say your sorry and mean it.

easier said than done......

good answer, though.



heh

Moon

 

[SilverVeil]

Depending on what the fight was about .... I will usually apologize and let it die. My father, who is one man I admire taught me something.

He is a very careful thinker and speaker. I have used this in my current relationship to the fullest. IF I even THINK what I am going to say will hurt my lover unnecessarily, I wait and think about saying it. Even if the argument is still going on. Then I either drop the subject, because IMHO, nothing trivial is worth fighting with my lover over. We have peace between us 95% of the time.

If it is major, I try and state my case, let him have his say, and then drop it.
Most of our fights have come about due to the fact that his family is STILL staying here in our home 3 month after they were supposed to have housing. And it is getting on his, mine, and my future mom-in-laws nerves.

Now the people staying with us .... Sunday morning I was fed up with the mess and the discourtsy shown by them to us and our home and I let them have it with both barrels, on full automatic. And I did not and will not say I am sorry.