what consitutes an affair

[sarahuk4]

What consitutes an affair ?

Does sexual email and/or sexual pms consitute an affair in your eyes ?

Would emailing a friend and pming a friend ( in a sexual nature ), whom you are never going to meet ever , consitute an affair in your partners eyes?...

Would feelings have to be involved to warrant an affair ?

Interested in any responses ...

 

[sexy-girl]

for me it would be when you're doing something you know would upset your partner and when you have to lie or cover up to continue doing it

cybersex in my view is cheating if your partner doesnt know about it or hasnt agreed its ok

 

[ma_guy]

If your S/O is aware that it's going on and doesn't have a problem with it then no biggie.

If you have to hide what you're doing from them then you've crossed the line IMO.

 

[oceanbaby28]

Hmmm...

I think you'd have to have feelings as well as what the prior posts mentioned.

Just my thoughts...

 

[sarahuk4]

I find this a very interesting topic , as I am sure most of us dabble in erotic pm's or emails , but wondering if it is a little bit "unfaithful " to our partners .....I always wonder if "not touching" is still as unfaithful as "touching "...

I agree Oceanbaby28 , when feelings become involved that is a totally different level ....and that is when "trouble " can happen ...

I am still a bit bemused and confused over this whole topic ...what about the SRP on this board, which I personally really enjoy ... I know it is only role play , but the thoughts would they be classed as "unfaithful" to your partner ....

 

[oceanbaby28]

Have you ever

I find this a very interesting topic , as I am sure most of us dabble in erotic pm's or emails , but wondering if it is a little bit "unfaithful " to our partners .....I always wonder if "not touching" is still as unfaithful as "touching "...

I agree Oceanbaby28 , when feelings become involved that is a totally different level ....and that is when "trouble " can happen ...

I am still a bit bemused and confused over this whole topic ...what about the SRP on this board, which I personally really enjoy ... I know it is only role play , but the thoughts would they be classed as "unfaithful" to your partner ....

Experienced a cyber friendship where it seams you just eat, sleep and drink the other person? 24/7 it's all you can do but think about this other being that is e-mailing, pm'ing or whatever the case maybe... I sometimes think it's a much more powerful thing especially because you know you can't have them physically there with you. So in this case.. in my eyes if my SO was partaking of this... I'd feel hurt just as much if not more than a "touching" unfaithful.

my .02 worth

 

[lavender]

 

[KillerMuffin]

Personally, I think that the couple themselves define what an affair is. Some people think that anything short of penetration is okay. Bill Clinton pretty much made it national law that oral sex wasn't really sex. Just kidding, take a breath. In my marriage, anything sexual is cheating. An affair is a repetition of cheating. Cheating is defined by the couple.

A good rule of thumb, like sexy-girl said, is that if you think you need to hide it from your partner, you're cheating. There are people who go through the entire Packer's starting line up and their partner would only ask to watch when they went through the second string. There are people who look at another person for longer than a heartbeat and their partner goes through the roof.

So if you engage in an activity that your relationship has defined as cheating on a repetitive basis, you're having an affair.

Easy, no?

 

[BigDawg69]

Well said KM.

 

[sexy-girl]

In my mind, an online affair would be more hurtful than a real life affair. Many real life affairs are just abou sex. I could deal with the sex a lot easier than I could deal with knowing my SO had established a rapport with a woman and was continually communicating with her.

i hadnt really thought of it like that ... i dont know i'd hate both and both would probably mean end of the relationship

and well said KM i was kinda trying to say that but you said it much better

 

[T.H. Oughts]

I wouldn't have an affair just for the sex....

 

[Sillyman]

I define cheating to be any sort of sexual/romantic contact that your partner does not consent to.

I would view the following as cheating-

Dating

Phone Sex

Cybersex

Sexual E-mails or Private Messages

Physical Sexual contact

Masturbation with another person

I do not view the following as cheating-

Group sex with your partner

Pornagraphic Tapes, Magazines, etc

Masturbation

Attending strip shows

Casual flirting

Any form of sex that your partner specifically consents to.

 

[deliciously_naughty]

Anything that isn't ok with your partner is cheating. That's why you aim to find someone with your own view of what is ok and not ok.