We don't give a damn how they do it OUTSIDE.

"So here is my story! My roommate was pooping I was trying to leave for work a bit earlier than usual but I still needed to brush my teeth and the bathroom was obviously in use. This made me a few mins late and somewhat frustrated. I just turned off of Dowling on to New Seward when it starts to feel like my truck is having issues. I think aw man this day is just getting worse isn't it? But then my brain takes in the scene outside... ALL the cars are having issues and slowly sliding off the road???? Now I'm confused?!? That's when the street lights start flickering. My shocks were absorbing the impact so I didnt register in my brain that it was an earthquake throwing us off the road. Thinking back I actually thought emt bomb and oh shit the aliens finally attacked long before I thought earthquake.. yeah my brain is odd we all know that. As I'm pulling forward the exit sign on New Seward leading to Tudor falls off narrowly missing the car in front of me also the place I probably would have been, had my roommate not been pooping.... that's when it clicked for me, the pole was still shaking. We were having a massive earthquake and my dumb ass was looking for signs of alien life. My roommates bowel movement saved my brain dead ass this morning. I'll make sure to caffeinate earlier from now on."

- Shauna Faye Redmond
 
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