Wasted emotions?

[SeaCat]

A friend of mine and I were just talking a bit about this.

What am I talking about? The emotions of Hatred and Jealousy.

To me both of these are a waste. They destroy not only those the emotion is directed at but in many cases the one who is feeling the emotions.

That being said, why do people allow themselves to feel these emotions?

Cat

 

[Guest]

A friend of mine and I were just talking a bit about this.

What am I talking about? The emotions of Hatred and Jealousy.

To me both of these are a waste. They destroy not only those the emotion is directed at but in many cases the one who is feeling the emotions.

That being said, why do people allow themselves to feel these emotions?

Cat

I've always seen such emotions as extensions of fear, usually fear of Not Having Something. We all want things, but reality is that we can't always have the things we want. We fear that. We don't know how to deal with it well. We think in terms of poverty.

People who think in terms of plenty and abundance don't seem so subject to those emotions. When you don't feel like you need much and that you will always have what you need, when you make that your reality, then you don't have those kinds of fears.

Or something like that

 

[Joe Wordsworth]

This probably is a waste, I know, but I like hatred.

It's focusing, motivating, encouraging, and even rewarding. It's a negative emotion and a dangerous emotion, but I would be a liar if I said I didn't accomplish many things I'm proud of because of simple hatred of a thing or person or people.

 

[Liar]

That being said, why do people allow themselves to feel these emotions?

Allow themselves to feel? You assume they can control it.

 

[3113]

I'm with both Mal and Joe....

In the case of jealousy, as Mal writes, it's an extention of fear, most especially the fear of not having control. Of losing something you want or need. It's not a good emotion, but it's there and it has a lot to do with ego. The weaker the ego, but more the jealousy can control to the point where it takes over and consumes.

Hatred, on the other hand, is, as Joe points out, an emotion can make you focus and be motivated to do things. It really depends on the hatred. If it's unfocused, then it's similar to fear--people hate homosexuals because they're afraid; afraid they might be one, or someone might force them into that sexual act, or their kids might be transformed by the evil power of homosexuality!

But when it comes down to someone doing something stupid, earning your hate, as it were, by being an asshole, well then hatred comes out of anger and can be quite energizing.

 

[AngeloMichael]

I've always seen such emotions as extensions of fear, usually fear of Not Having Something. We all want things, but reality is that we can't always have the things we want. We fear that. We don't know how to deal with it well. We think in terms of poverty.

People who think in terms of plenty and abundance don't seem so subject to those emotions. When you don't feel like you need much and that you will always have what you need, when you make that your reality, then you don't have those kinds of fears.

Or something like that

I agree with you that these emotions are an extention of fear, let me also submit, that inititially it feels good to hate and envy. Like a drug that feels good at first but does long term damage if you keep using it.

If someone presents you with an idea that doesn't mesh with your way of thinking you fear it so in turn you hate this idea or even the person who espoused it and it feels good because you don't fear it, you hate it. Same with jealousy. Instead of feeling the fear of not having something we turn it into jealousy and it feels good to put down someone for having something we don't.

These are hot emotions. They keep us warm inside and that feels good. But if you can't learn to deal with them and let them go, they eventually poison you.

 

[ibhard]

there is only two real emotions, love and fear. everything else in between is just the intensity how each is felt. my opinion through observation and personal experience.

 

[ibhard]

Allow themselves to feel? You assume they can control it.

exactly.

 

[AngeloMichael]

there is only two real emotions, love and fear. everything else in between is just the intensity how each is felt. my opinion through observation and personal experience.

I don't know if I would use the word "real" if you had said "only two primary emotions" I'd agree with you more.

Like colors most are derrived from red, yellow, and blue. Does that make orange any less a real color because it is really only red and yellow? Or purple or green?

Is joy any less real because it derrives from love? Or hate because it comes from fear?

 

[SeaCat]

Allow themselves to feel? You assume they can control it.

Amazingly you can control emotions, or at least some of them.

How or why I don't know. Maybe it's the way in which you approach life, or maybe it's in the way your mind is wired.

I don't allow myself to feel either hatred or jealousy although in some ways I can vagualy understand how people could feel them. In my mind, there is enough out there that will destroy me, I don't need to add to it.

Cat

 

[ibhard]

I don't know if I would use the word "real" if you had said "only two primary emotions" I'd agree with you more.

Like colors most are derrived from red, yellow, and blue. Does that make orange any less a real color because it is really only red and yellow? Or purple or green?

Is joy any less real because it derrives from love? Or hate because it comes from fear?

i guess 'real' was a little too rigid. i change my statement to "only two primary emotions". i like your analogy of colors better.

 

[SeaCat]

This probably is a waste, I know, but I like hatred.

It's focusing, motivating, encouraging, and even rewarding. It's a negative emotion and a dangerous emotion, but I would be a liar if I said I didn't accomplish many things I'm proud of because of simple hatred of a thing or person or people.

Joe,

I am not trying to run down your ideas. You use what works, as do we all.

For years I dealt with hatred, on a personal basis. It almost destroyed me even while it made me feel good. I finally purged it from myself.

Now don't get me wrong, I do feel anger, but to me this is different at a very basic level. Anger is something I can harness, something I can use just like fear. Anger does not harness or control me. In that way I feel they are different.

Cat

 

[SeaCat]

Maybe I should explain this, my views on Hatred and Jealousy.

To me these are emotions that are not controlled but are controlling. Fear and Anger, while related to them are emotions that can be controlled and used.

Hatred and Jealousy on the other hand are emotions that controll you. They run your life. (In that way I think they are much like an addiction, and like an addiction they can and eventually will destroy you.)

Cat

 

[Joe Wordsworth]

Joe,

I am not trying to run down your ideas. You use what works, as do we all.

For years I dealt with hatred, on a personal basis. It almost destroyed me even while it made me feel good. I finally purged it from myself.

Now don't get me wrong, I do feel anger, but to me this is different at a very basic level. Anger is something I can harness, something I can use just like fear. Anger does not harness or control me. In that way I feel they are different.

Cat

Oh, don't mind running down my ideas. Everything's subject to correction--including personal beliefs.

I can agree, and blanketedly do, that its a bad thing to hate. I just can't deny its utility. So, is it a waste? Strictly speaking, no. Is it better than using love or charity or kindness to motivate? I'd never say so, I can't quantify that.

It may not be the best or most efficient thing, but even oil has its use in the world.

 

[rgraham666]

Never experienced jealousy, but anger and hatred plenty of. I regard anger and hatred as intimately related, almost impossible to tell where one begins and the other ends.

And, as I've said so many times before, they are addictive. When those emotions goes off, so does your whole hormonal system, flooding your body with endorphins. It is a real rush.

And there is the letdown when the high recedes. So you seek out the objects of your anger and hatred to get that rush again.

Soon, the old hit doesn't do it anymore. You need more, so you get angrier and more hateful.

Eventually your whole life is spent either high on anger or numb from withdrawal.

Like all addictions, it destroys the addict, and those around them. Who are often addicts as well. Addicts can only put up with each other.

 

[AngeloMichael]

i guess 'real' was a little too rigid. i change my statement to "only two primary emotions". i like your analogy of colors better.

Thanks.

 

[SeaCat]

Oh, don't mind running down my ideas. Everything's subject to correction--including personal beliefs.

I can agree, and blanketedly do, that its a bad thing to hate. I just can't deny its utility. So, is it a waste? Strictly speaking, no. Is it better than using love or charity or kindness to motivate? I'd never say so, I can't quantify that.

It may not be the best or most efficient thing, but even oil has its use in the world.

In this you are correct. It does have it's utility, if it is guided and controlled. But can we truly control our hatred? At what point does it take over and control us? Do we or should we allow it to take control?

Cat

 

[lucky-E-leven]

I don't see jealousy as an extension of fear. I see it more as an undeniable reminder of your own inadequacies. Hatred is so multi-faceted that I'm not sure I could capture it in thousands of words. It's very rare that I feel true hatred, but when I do I know it's bad. It is always reserved for those that have absolutely no regard for the lives of others and have no compunction about using any and all power they have to harm/ruin others around them.

 

[Guest]

Anger works. It can give strength and support during difficult periods in our lives.

And for some, it is much easier to maintain anger instead of having to deal with the underlying emotions of grief, fear, jealousy, etc.

But I do believe anger is a different and more - healthy - emotion than hatred.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Never experienced jealousy, but anger and hatred plenty of. I regard anger and hatred as intimately related, almost impossible to tell where one begins and the other ends.

And, as I've said so many times before, they are addictive. When those emotions goes off, so does your whole hormonal system, flooding your body with endorphins. It is a real rush.

And there is the letdown when the high recedes. So you seek out the objects of your anger and hatred to get that rush again.

Soon, the old hit doesn't do it anymore. You need more, so you get angrier and more hateful.

Eventually your whole life is spent either high on anger or numb from withdrawal.

Like all addictions, it destroys the addict, and those around them. Who are often addicts as well. Addicts can only put up with each other.

This is one of the most honest and insightful things I've read recently.

 

[BigFatMeat]

A friend of mine and I were just talking a bit about this.

What am I talking about? The emotions of Hatred and Jealousy.

To me both of these are a waste. They destroy not only those the emotion is directed at but in many cases the one who is feeling the emotions.

That being said, why do people allow themselves to feel these emotions?

Cat

I'm with you. Hatred is a strong word and people throw it around too easily which usually marks some ingrained immaturity on their part. Jealousy is a sneakier, subtler emotion. You might find yourself saying how you wish you had a new car like your buddy, then you'll overhear him going on and on about it and you'll just think he's being obnoxious for bragging but at the same time some part of you will have to admit that this wouldn't bother you as much if you could do the same thing.

I guess I understand jealousy, but I know how to identify my jealousy and someone elses braggadocious behavior.

 

[McKenna]

I don't believe any emotion can be controlled; Either you feel or you don't. The thing that can be controlled is how you act on your emotions.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

I don't believe any emotion can be controlled; Either you feel or you don't. The thing that can be controlled is how you act on your emotions.

I absolutely agree. This is why there's a standing policy in this house that one's emotions cannot be judged but one's actions can.

 

[McKenna]

I absolutely agree. This is why there's a standing policy in this house that one's emotions cannot be judged but one's actions can.

Beautiful and smart.

 

[BigFatMeat]

I absolutely agree. This is why there's a standing policy in this house that one's emotions cannot be judged but one's actions can.

Not sure the two are mutually exclusive.