*WARNING* Honest Opinions inside...(LAP)

[Cath!]

I have about had it this week with all of the character assassinations going on this week. Yes, I have done my own share of it but I have also held a lot back. Well...here goes...no holding back...no pussyfooting around...I will stand up to whatever comes back at me in return but I have been holding this in for way too long.

This crap started this week with some behind the scenes frenzy building and it got way out of control. Everyone feels that they have a right to tear apart other individuals for who they are and what they do...whether it be on the General Board or in real life (which, by the way, NONE of you have a right to do unless you know the person in real life).

I have been criticized for having too many names, including ones that do not even belong to me. I have been criticized for being flirty and boring and for having marital problems. I have been accused and criticized for having numerous online affairs - 99% of which never happened.

I have a tendency to be outgoing, flirty, fun and extremely sensitive. For some reason, I DO care what other people think about me and it hurts when they think things that are not true.

I also have a bad habit of trying to see the goodness in others which makes me naive and gullible at times...take KID ROCK1 for example. I was the only one that befriended him at the beginning and I stood up for him and talked to him even when he got nasty. Then I gave up. Noone criticizes Angel for still talking to him on a regular basis on MSN...she probably saw the same thing in the private KR that I did. He does have a very sweet side to him as a person that never got across here because of the way he portrayed himself. Then when he DID try and change...noone bothered to give him a chance. I did...but got burnt again. Therefore, I no longer (and haven't for many months) have anything whatsoever to do with him.

koalabear is another example of someone that I believed in...I have been hurt by him..and yes, I have hurt him too...many many times. But we had a fairly relaxed tolerance of each other until, again...he hit his last chance.

KillerMuffin, you have taken it upon yourself to think that you know the real me...but you base your opinions of me, not by what is said ON the board...but by what you hear OFF the board. I may not agree with all you have to say but I respect you enough that when you complained of the colored fonts sending you into attacks...that I stopped using them...and I have pmd people at times to warn them about their effect on you when they use them. Not only did I change my style of posting out of respect for your disability but MANY people did that...whether they like you or not. There are times when I enjoy reading your posts...you have in incredible and quick wit...but there are times when you are just downright mean and vindictive...attacking for no apparent reason at all. I do not think I have ever publicly quoted your past, even tho you have expounded thoroughly on your disability and your way of life with the Stud or whatever. That is your business, whether you share it with us or not.

I don't understand why cym is into the things she is into...but again, that is HER business. She is a wonderful, sweet human being that cares deeply for those around her. It doesn't mean that I have to enjoy the same books or handcuffs that she does.

Mistress may be what appears to be a vacuous flirt...but again, she has a deeper side that noone looks at. Look at the pride she has when she posts about her brother. Again, I don't relate to all the things she does, but that is MY problem not hers.

There are many more...but I am running out of space here. I don't understand why we have all of a sudden decided that because we all post in one community, that we can turn on each other. All I am really trying to get at in my long-winded way is plead with you to look beyond the box...KM asked if we could define our boxes...I can, I have and I may need to re-define it...but that is something that I will deal with and personally, I think we should all look at our ways and habits of defining our "boxes" and do some re-definition if necessary.

 

[BigDawg69]

Yeah! What she said.

 

[estevie]

The only person I feel qualified to give an opinion on is Southern...y'all care to hear it? What? why not?

 

[Caria Knight]

Well said Cath!

I'm new here and don't know any of you well at all. But I've been involved with many online communities before. Unfortunitly this kind of thing is like a yawn. It's contaigious! One person starts flamming another who flames another and so on.

One thing everyone needs to remember is that were all individuals here. Each with our own likes, dislikes and oppinions. We may not like what someone else does but that's a part of them. A community is like a family and in a family you learn to ACCEPT one another even if you don't like the same things. And if you can't ACCEPT them then just don't deal with them. It's really very simple. If you can't accept someone then just don't post to them and ignore them if they post to you. Eventually they will realize that they are wasting thier time and leave you alone.

The last thing to remember is RESPECT. You don't have to respect a person to respect thier oppinion. This is where the line usually gets crossed the most. To respect someone they have to earn it but to respect someone's oppinion all you have to do is remember that we are each entitled to our own. To respect someone's oppinion doesn't mean you have to agree with them at all, just that you know it's thiers. Again, simple as that.

This seems like a pretty good community in general and that I've just joined at a bad time. I hope that I'm proven right.

 

[estevie]

Caria, you are a great addition to the board. Your comment about respecting the opinion even tho you don't respect the person was right on. I think a lot of us are guilty of that. This is a great place, despite...or perhaps because of, all the crazy things that happen here. I hope you stay!

 

[cymbidia]

Darlin'?
Why was i in there?

Just wondering... i don't think i'm in the middle of any hostilities (this week) and i don't want to be.

 

[Cath!]

Darlin'?
Why was i in there?

Just wondering... i don't think i'm in the middle of any hostilities (this week) and i don't want to be.

Cause I love you... even tho I don't watch the same shows you do...it was a random example of two people very far apart in some things but who relate on other levels...

huggggs...I didn't mean to get you in hot water! I can take you out if you would prefer!

 

[cymbidia]

No, no, no, it's fine.
I just didn't know if i'd offended you in some way.
There's no hot water in my general vicinity (that i know about).

 

[Cath!]

No, no, no, it's fine.
I just didn't know if i'd offended you in some way.

cym...I don't honestly think you could offend me...I respect you and value your opinions...so if you had something to say to me...then there would be a valid reason behind it and you would share that with me. That is one of the qualities that I admire in you.

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

I'm new here and don't know any of you well at all. But I've been involved with many online communities before. Unfortunitly this kind of thing is like a yawn. It's contaigious! One person starts flamming another who flames another and so on.

I think an alternative allegory is a feeding frenzy; some people smell blood and they just can't resist.

The last thing to remember is RESPECT.

I dislike using the word respect in this context as I don't feel I need to respect (to hold in high regard) anyone or their opinions at all, what I do need to do is try to be courteous to people and try not to get personal or judgemental (except with regards to trolls - but they are a different species).

As for their opinions, assertions, beliefs, arguments - I feel free to voice whether I see them as BS or not. Sometimes people take this personally - as did one last night when I used the word "lame" to describe her arguments; she thought I meant she was lame.

Again, don't make it personal - don't attack the person in any way, if you must attack then attack the argument/assertion/belief. Attacking the person is bad form in debate anyway; ever hear of an ad hominem argument?

We had a saying in the military; everyone deserves courtesy, but you have to earn respect.

 

[Svedish_Chef]

Cath, you shit me.

 

[Cath!]

Cath, you shit me.

huh?? is that a good thing or a bad thing?

on a side note...i like THIS av much better than bowie!!

 

[fallon2]

I think we need . . .

I think we need a group hug! Let's try to respect each other as much as possible and save our negative comments when we turn off our PC's!

 

[Laurel]

Wow.

Ever read a thread and had no idea what it was about, and you sorta wanted to know but at the same time you realize in your heart that knowing wouldn't make you a happier person, so instead of asking WTF happened you sit there with the angel on one shoulder telling you that you'll be sorry if you ask because it's undoubtedly some stupid, ugly personal fiasco and the devil on your other shoulder whispering, "Hey, it's probably some ugly personal fiasco you're missing! And everyone will know about it but YOU!!"

Or is it just me?

 

[KinkyKandy]

i'm sorry..i'm not trying to be mean or anything but could everyone just get a life???? If you are going to attack someone online, or say stuff about them than you need to find something better to do with your time. The same goes when you actally listen to what someone says about you when they barely know you.

 

[Svedish_Chef]

Re: Wow.

Or is it just me?

Its just you tweet...

In fact its ALWAYS you

Only you.

Turn to you...

 

[cymbidia]

Laurel?

How much caffeine have you had today?

 

[Laurel]

Re: Laurel?

How much caffeine have you had today?

Caffeine? I'm high on life, baby!


Does one energy drink, a cup of green tea, and two Diet Cokes count?

 

[estevie]

i'm sorry..i'm not trying to be mean or anything but could everyone just get a life???? If you are going to attack someone online, or say stuff about them than you need to find something better to do with your time. The same goes when you actally listen to what someone says about you when they barely know you.

Ya know what I learned today? I do care..we all care...thats why we fight, thats why we can sling the insults back and forth and we all remain right here, doing whatever it is that we all do here. We are a community of different people, we fight terribly sometimes...but we remain a community.

We barely know you, but I hope if you stay, you do think of this place as family and care...

 

[perks]

As for their opinions, assertions, beliefs, arguments - I feel free to voice whether I see them as BS or not. Sometimes people take this personally - as did one last night when I used the word "lame" to describe her arguments; she thought I meant she was lame.

I don't think that's what you meant. I said I thought me arguing a point I didn't believe, just had some experience with was lamer.

I feel like I'm protesting and being defensive, which is uncomfortable, but I'd rather tell you that I didn't feel I was getting personal, and I don't think you were either. We were debating, that is it. I wish you would stop bringing this up like I was taking it personal, because in doing so, you're telling people what you think my emotions are, and That is personal.

it's over, really
perky

 

[Caria Knight]

I think an alternative allegory is a feeding frenzy; some people smell blood and they just can't resist.

I'd say that probably is a better way of putting it.

I dislike using the word respect in this context as I don't feel I need to respect (to hold in high regard) anyone or their opinions at all, what I do need to do is try to be courteous to people and try not to get personal or judgemental (except with regards to trolls - but they are a different species).

As for their opinions, assertions, beliefs, arguments - I feel free to voice whether I see them as BS or not. Sometimes people take this personally - as did one last night when I used the word "lame" to describe her arguments; she thought I meant she was lame.

Again, don't make it personal - don't attack the person in any way, if you must attack then attack the argument/assertion/belief. Attacking the person is bad form in debate anyway; ever hear of an ad hominem argument?

We had a saying in the military; everyone deserves courtesy, but you have to earn respect.

I believe I did say that people have to earn respect. The point of what I said was to respect thier oppinion not always the person. And by doing that I didn't intend it to sound as if you shouldn't post your opinion as well. Maybe respect is the wrong word for it but I feel the same you do. Because you don't agree with thier opinion doesn't make it right to attack the person.

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

I don't think that's what you meant. I said I thought me arguing a point I didn't believe, just had some experience with was lamer.

You stated "So, why say it isn't in the bible at all? Just to show that you think I'm lame?....I'm arguing a point that I don't even believe in....that's lamer."

I think it is reasonable to assume from that statement that you thought I was calling you lame instead of your assertions, but if you say that is not what you meant then that is okay too.

I wish you would stop bringing this up like I was taking it personal, because in doing so, you're telling people what you think my emotions are, and That is personal.

Sorry, I dislike it too when people assume they know what my emotions are and I will cease making those assumptions.