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Wanting a woman 18-74, perfect 10 body, rich and willing to leave all her shit to me

IhateClowns said:
They say it could not be done so I said hey go fuck yourselves. I can do anything I put my mind to. And lookee there who is the sad individual wasting his time on an erotic internet board....yea that's right mother fuckers: THIS GUY!!!!
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You proved them wrong. You are not cool, you are ice. *still nodding approvingly*
 
dutchrain said:
You proved them wrong. You are not cool, you are ice. *still nodding approvingly*
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Pretty much. I model myself after Val Kilmer in Top Gun. Ever since i saw him playing volleyball shirtless I just decided I will achieve whatever dreams I aspire for myself. This was one of them and fuck if I didn't do it. I just gave myself a high 5 and a left nipple pull.
 
Hello laydees. I will be heading out tonight to a bar to do some open mic stuff tonight, but am more than willing to skip it for some strange So if any of you ladies are cruising for a cervix bruising then I am your fella. Hit me up in the lit PM box.
 
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Oh MyLanta. This is the best medicine after a long day and an even longer week. I will never look at a proactive commercial in the same way. And should a tattoo'd taint be in my in box...well I will know who to point out in the police line up easily.
 
intriguedlady said:
Oh MyLanta. This is the best medicine after a long day and an even longer week. I will never look at a proactive commercial in the same way. And should a tattoo'd taint be in my in box...well I will know who to point out in the police line up easily.
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Oh no sweetie. It isn't tattoo'ed. This taint ain't glued to one individual. I get those dry erase markers so that way with one swipe of a baby wipe I can make my taint unique for the next lovely vixen.
 
80 fucking posts and my title doesn't say I want a daddy, 19 and willing to fuck, throat slut and any other guy pretending to be a girl to get another guy to know he is talking to a guy pretending to be a 18 year old girl, but fuck it I can imagine something else while they both jerk off to youporn.

Gotta love it.
 
Hey, I sent you a PM with my best offer. You bring the Poligrip and I'll bring the ball bearings....we'll have us a wing-dinger of a weekend!
 
softkisses said:
Hey, I sent you a PM with my best offer. You bring the Poligrip and I'll bring the ball bearings....we'll have us a wing-dinger of a weekend!
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I love the idea minus the poligrip. You see as nice as a young ladies tight nubile body is the thought of a 70 year old gum job is even hotter to me. Polygrip doesn't allow for a gum job. I have had the teeth rake happen to many times and so why not just get rid of them whenever I can.

Plus looking down on a 72 year old woman as she is gumming me is quite a lovely vision. The liver spots straining in her neck as she keeps from passing out or breaking a hip is so erototic. Hence the wanting to be in their will. Death by cock suffocation will be inscribed on her tombstone as I count my stacks.
 
Hey baby..
I’ve read so much about you, ya know, and I’d really like to meet you out by the dumpster at Home Depot, and everything, but I’d like to cam with you a few times, first.. Make sure we’re compatible and all.. :devil:

The problem is… my internet kinda sucks for this sort of thing. No, No, honey, it has nothing to do with the kids running around:eek: and the fact I have a life. It’s entirely the internet’s fault. Really.

So, I figure we could work this problem out if you can help me get Cable run out to my house.. You’d do that for me, wouldn’t you, baby?:cool:

I’ve got it all worked out, too. It’s only going to cost $18,000 (USD) to get the cable out here, and since I don’t have that kind of money I figured could take care of the cost in barter. So what do construction workers want and need on their lunch breaks? A good old-fashioned “down-on-it….”

Now, I hated math, but work with me here.. if I can suck cock at $50/blow, that’s *keys into calculator* 360 wet, sloppy ones….

I’m figuring that there won’t be but about twenty workers actually on the job site, so 360÷20=18 per day and I should have the bill all taken care of…

SO, you know what? In just over two weeks we could be camming, Baby!!! WHooHOO!!!

No, wait.. all that cock-sucking is going to give me Temporomandibular joint disorder, and I’ll need hospital and recovery time for that, as well as pain meds for the inflammation of my knees from all the “down time.”

HEY! We could split the cost!!! Can I get your debit card number? :D
 
RubenesqueAphrodite said:
Hey baby..
I’ve read so much about you, ya know, and I’d really like to meet you out by the dumpster at Home Depot, and everything, but I’d like to cam with you a few times, first.. Make sure we’re compatible and all.. :devil:

The problem is… my internet kinda sucks for this sort of thing. No, No, honey, it has nothing to do with the kids running around:eek: and the fact I have a life. It’s entirely the internet’s fault. Really.

So, I figure we could work this problem out if you can help me get Cable run out to my house.. You’d do that for me, wouldn’t you, baby?:cool:

I’ve got it all worked out, too. It’s only going to cost $18,000 (USD) to get the cable out here, and since I don’t have that kind of money I figured could take care of the cost in barter. So what do construction workers want and need on their lunch breaks? A good old-fashioned “down-on-it….”

Now, I hated math, but work with me here.. if I can suck cock at $50/blow, that’s *keys into calculator* 360 wet, sloppy ones….

I’m figuring that there won’t be but about twenty workers actually on the job site, so 360÷20=18 per day and I should have the bill all taken care of…

SO, you know what? In just over two weeks we could be camming, Baby!!! WHooHOO!!!

No, wait.. all that cock-sucking is going to give me Temporomandibular joint disorder, and I’ll need hospital and recovery time for that, as well as pain meds for the inflammation of my knees from all the “down time.”

HEY! We could split the cost!!! Can I get your debit card number? :D
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Well can I just sit in a tree and watch you bow all the cable workers? See that way they get theirs and I get mine. Look I don't like camming because it seems too personal to me. I would much rather you just believe I am who I am honestly. Better yet just send me some twat pics. I like twat pics. Especiallyones you say you just took for me but in actuality they are 8 years old and it is the best your pussy will ever look so you have kept it this hole time. Let's face it women to not have a freshly shaved pussy 24/7. 90% of the time your pussy has a 5 O'clock shadow.

So since my debit card is a prepaid one and it has 3.24 on it. Have at it and lemme know when you have your knee pads on.
 
IhateClowns said:
Well can I just sit in a tree and watch you bow all the cable workers? See that way they get theirs and I get mine. Look I don't like camming because it seems too personal to me. I would much rather you just believe I am who I am honestly. Better yet just send me some twat pics. I like twat pics. Especiallyones you say you just took for me but in actuality they are 8 years old and it is the best your pussy will ever look so you have kept it this hole time. Let's face it women to not have a freshly shaved pussy 24/7. 90% of the time your pussy has a 5 O'clock shadow.

So since my debit card is a prepaid one and it has 3.24 on it. Have at it and lemme know when you have your knee pads on.
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Did someone say 5 o'clock shadow? I feel at home. :D

Hi IHC!! How's the personal sextion working out for ya? Any better than the no girls want to talk to you thread?
 
Edensgarden said:
Did someone say 5 o'clock shadow? I feel at home. :D

Hi IHC!! How's the personal sextion working out for ya? Any better than the no girls want to talk to you thread?
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This is different because I don't want them to talk to me. I want them to fuck me. I see the success of these other amazing threads on here and I felt I had to give it a shot. So now I let the whores know where I will be so they can meet me and make me cum. No talking to me. If I want to talk then I will just tell you what I want you to do.
 
You, my friend, are fucking hilarious. I hope this all works out for you. Keep us posted on your progress, as many of us seek the same.
 
IhateClowns said:
This is different because I don't want them to talk to me. I want them to fuck me. I see the success of these other amazing threads on here and I felt I had to give it a shot. So now I let the whores know where I will be so they can meet me and make me cum. No talking to me. If I want to talk then I will just tell you what I want you to do.
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Good to know. Next time I feel like whoring around and fucking someone silly, I know where to go. :D
 
Cymru6969 said:
You, my friend, are fucking hilarious. I hope this all works out for you. Keep us posted on your progress, as many of us seek the same.
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So far it has worked out amazingly. I just had sex with a 24 year old who is getting back at her ex boyfriend for fucking her best friend. I am meeting Gertrude at the VMF for a rousing game of bingo where I plan on dotting her I for about 5 minutes. Then I will show her a new color bingo dobber and skee daddle out of there.
 
Edensgarden said:
Good to know. Next time I feel like whoring around and fucking someone silly, I know where to go. :D
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This place is amazing. I am shocked at how many people are getting laid around here. The lit personal section should be sponsored by Viagara and lube.
 
I keep flipping the channel between Golden Girls and Skinemax. I really cannot decide which one turns me on more. That fucking Blanche is a sexy hoot.
 
I am ready for some random sexy time. So ladies if you are cruising past the 7-11 near my house pick me up a slurpee and come give me a blow job.
 
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