Variations on a theme

https://i.postimg.cc/L8fxR60k/40100628263-46d9ac98ed-c.jpg

The Pentax ME range is considered to be one of the best in film cameras, small and packed with functions. Alas, it also has a tendency to suffer from winding problems. This was how i found out... glorious light in winter and I was making the most of it. I thought the wind-on felt weird, but put it down to cold fingers. A landscape shot, then a portrait of the same view... and then a scrunch as the sprocket holes were ripped through. I tried to wind on and the film snapped. Another evening of removing the film in a dark bag and threading it onto a processing reel.
There could be three shots on this, hard to tell... It was a roll of Fomapan and it put up a good fight.
(the reason the messed up ones are B&W is that i develop them myself, so it's easier to adjust the scanner)
 
Okay, so this one is bigger than most for me.

I took this photo this morning. I'm making my way back to my sexy self and wanting to capture photos. The sun was shining and a lover reminded me to go back my delicious skin in the warmth, so I did.

When I came inside to look at this photo (that I intended to share with him) I noticed my tampon string. It bugged me. I didn't want to show that, so I went back out and re-rigged my setup to capture another full frontal, this time with the string tucked nicely away. In the moment, this photo felt imperfect.

I still get pangs of shame surrounding my period from time to time. It's not fair that I was exposed to that before I had a chance to form an opinion for myself. The messaging of hiding your bodily functions so that the men in our lives aren't uncomfortable started young and took root deep in my subconscious. These days I'm much more attuned to my body, my cycle and feel little to no shame around my period. This was a rare occurrence and therefore felt kinda profound.

What's really frustrating is the photo I took after this was fucking exceptional and is now my favorite nude I've taken to date.

And no, you can't see it.

You have to earn that one.
 
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