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*True Confessions*

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Doctor Joe said:
Fantastic AV yourself Curious Fem.......and I also am a confirmed voyeur....care to show me your stuff sometime?
Click to expand...

Thank you, Doctor. I have some stuff floating around somewhere, I'm sure we can work something out.
 
I confess...

~I wish both of my friends were cancer free...
~I know what familial and friend love is... now I want something more!
~I'm happy my daughter's lowest grade is a C... everything else A's and B's!!
~I crave what others seem to find so easily...
~I fuckin hate to wash dishes by hand!!!
~I'm ready for winter... just don't want to be cold!
~I wish I could find a better job...
~I don't have a right to complain with all that my friends are going thru...
~I sure could use some lap time about now!!
~memories just ain't workin no more!!
~I'd be lost without my online family!!! :heart:
 
TantaLiza said:
I confess...

~I wish both of my friends were cancer free...
~I know what familial and friend love is... now I want something more!
~I'm happy my daughter's lowest grade is a C... everything else A's and B's!!
~I crave what others seem to find so easily...
~I fuckin hate to wash dishes by hand!!!
~I'm ready for winter... just don't want to be cold!
~I wish I could find a better job...
~I don't have a right to complain with all that my friends are going thru...
~I sure could use some lap time about now!!
~memories just ain't workin no more!!
~I'd be lost without my online family!!! :heart:
Click to expand...

{{{{{TantaLiza}}}}}... :rose: :kiss: ...all things come in time...and I will keep the lap warm... ;)
 
Good MOrning all!

Just a quick pick me up to get your Monday started with a chuckle.. These were swiped from Back home Magazine .. got a couple more, but dont want to overload you..


for the Holidays. to avoid that weighty fudge and treats everyone bakes..

BTW, why doesnt anyone bake during the rest of the year?????????:eek:


Weight Loss Tips

1. Only eat foods that you can personally catch or harvest with your own hands.

2. Only eat foods that start with the letter ‘z’.

3. Eat only seasonal items, like reindeer, elves, pine cones, and poinsettia salad.

4. Wash your Christmas cookie before eating them.

5. Avoid Stress - take Valium instead of food, it has fewer calories.

6. Increase activity. Instead of using elevators and escalators, buy some mountain climbing equipment and scale the outside of the building.

7. Avoid all nuts and fruitcakes - such as Weird Uncle Henry and your crazy sister-in-law Bertha. If you can't, see #5 .

8. Become pregnant a month before Thanksgiving, so that you’ll be nauseated all the time during the holidays.



For those of you single of going to bars this holiday season..... some words of advise.. to avoid!!!!


COMMENTARY
We heard a runor recently that a large university was conducting an in-depth study of why men have such a hard time picking up women. We think the following list of common pickup lines more than explains the problem:


I may not be Fred Flinstone but I can sure make your bed rock!

Is your dad a thief or something? Because someone stole the stars and put them into your eyes!

Excuse me, but I'm new in town. Can I have directions to your place?

Can I buy you a drink - or would you just prefer the five bucks?

I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart.

I wish I were a tear so I could start in your eyes, live on your face, and die on your lips.

Are you sure that we haven't met somewhere in a past life?

Can I have directions to your heart?

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.

You must be the reason for global warming because you're hot.

Do you have a map? Because I keep getting lost in your eyes.

Baby you must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night!

Are you an overdue book? Because you've got FINE written all over you!

If I followed you home, would you keep me?

If I told you you had a gorgeous body, would you hold it against me?

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk past you again?

Call the police!! It has to be illegal to look that fine!

I lost my number, can I have yours?

Is your father a baker? Because those sure are some nice buns!

Am I cute enough yet? Or do you need more to drink?

:rose: to the ladies


^5s to the guys
KK
 
Ok, I couldnt resist..

Hmmm thinking Im turning into Oman. :) that is a good thing, I could only hope.


HUMOR
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Dad".

With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with mom and you. I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice-even with all her piercing, tattoos, and her tight Motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion dad, she's pregnant and Joan said that we will be very happy.

Even though you don't care for her as she is so much older than I, she already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. She wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too.

Joan taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with her friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it!!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your son,


John
PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk center drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.


NO wonder men are from mars and women are from venus.. that we cant communicate..


but heres a helping hand

Understanding Women
FINE — This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

FIVE MINUTES — If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

NOTHING — This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"

GO AHEAD — This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.

LOUD SIGH — This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"

THAT'S OKAY — This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

THANKS — A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome



Guys in case you were ever intimidated by the Father...



A woman awakens during the night to find that her husband is not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him.

He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee. "What's the matter, dear?" she asks tenderly as she steps into the room. "Why are you down here at this time of night?"

The husband looks up from his coffee. "Do you remember when we were first dating, we were so young?" he asks.

"Yes" replies the wife.

The husband continues, his voice brimming with emotion. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car ?"

"Yes, I remember," says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continues. "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I'll see that you go to jail for 30 years?'"

"I remember that," she replies softly, taking his hand.

He wipes a tear from his cheek and says, "I would have got out today!!"



Ok, enough of my sense of humor today.. hope you all got a chuckle of at least 30 seconds..

:rose: to the ladies

^5s to the guys.
KK

SIGH.. for that SATB.. in your dreams... :kiss: :p >:) hehehe.. enough to make you squirm.. in your seat..


ok and a :rose: touch to send you over... :D
 
WoW


I missed NG and Wintze and Lusty and SS and Oman?????????????

WTF


Lusty.. Woo Hoo for you.. glad you found someone to get your voices..

NG.. yes, I have to agree w/ 20smoke.. that is an incredible av.. but then.. so is CF's new one.. SIGH.. to be in either one.. but then.. so is Liza's and LUsty's..

Sigh.. I lobe da ladies! and my cravaciea(sp)...

Ok. has anyone had the Panettone french toast with cinnamon syrup? YUMMYYYYYYY ok the bread alone is 42 carbs for a 1/2 slice... sucks to be health conscious.

:rose: to the ladies

^5s to the guys.
KK
 
TantaLiza said:
Thank you, MrFM!!

.... :kiss: just because!!
Click to expand...


:D ...because never felt so good... :rose: :kiss:


~It isn't always fair but it is real.
~You can't loose something you never had.
~If it didn't hurt it wasn't real.
~I want more too...just the not same again.
 
I confess ...

that having a cold front come through when I was already freezing my rear off is NO DAMN FUN!!!

Grrrrrr .....
 
SecretScribe said:
I confess ...

that having a cold front come through when I was already freezing my rear off is NO DAMN FUN!!!

Grrrrrr .....
Click to expand...

Need help warming up? :kiss:
 
Update on me:

Well, for those of you who don't know... the ex and I tried to make a go of things again. Alas, I rediscovered that we are divorced for a reason and just how incompatible we really are. A relationship without trust is not a relationship at all.

The move is complete now, and we are settling in. I can honestly say that I have given my all and tried everything within my power.

My journey is starting again, from a new place both physically and mentally. I haven't been feeling very strong lately... but I know that deep inside - I am.
 
SecretScribe said:
I confess ...

that having a cold front come through when I was already freezing my rear off is NO DAMN FUN!!!

Grrrrrr .....
Click to expand...

DITTO!!
and i had car probs during it!!
 
DreamOfSun said:
Update on me:

Well, for those of you who don't know... the ex and I tried to make a go of things again. Alas, I rediscovered that we are divorced for a reason and just how incompatible we really are. A relationship without trust is not a relationship at all.

The move is complete now, and we are settling in. I can honestly say that I have given my all and tried everything within my power.

My journey is starting again, from a new place both physically and mentally. I haven't been feeling very strong lately... but I know that deep inside - I am.
Click to expand...

We have always known you to be a very strong woman. We do and we always will!!! Oh by the way we also think you are incredible,beautiful,wonderful and a great friend among other things!!
 
DreamOfSun said:
Update on me:
...

My journey is starting again, from a new place both physically and mentally. I haven't been feeling very strong lately... but I know that deep inside - I am.
Click to expand...
to paraphrase ... The journey of a thousand lives begins with the thought of a moment; it continues with every step forward.

If you were not strong ... you would not be here.

You always have friends here, and we know your strength. You always have support here.
 
^^^^^^^^
DITTO what he said, Dreamy!!

It was admirable to give him another chance... incredibly strong to leave the second time!! Be true to yourself, girlfriend!! :rose:

If ya ever need to talk... just holler!! I got broad shoulders and big ears!! :kiss:


Hope my TC family has a wonderful Wednesday and that something special happens to each one of you!!! :heart:
 
DreamOfSun said:
Update on me:
...
I haven't been feeling very strong lately... but I know that deep inside - I am.
Click to expand...

:rose: x12 for you m'lady Heres hoping you find all that you are looking for.

KK
 
BD.. Sorry I missed you man.. HOw have you been??? hoping things are warm and dry in the Eng.

^5
KK
 
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