*True Confessions*

[samanthak1721]

Wants to sneak in and confess - whispers because I'm not sure how this will go...

*Crying quietly, in a ball on my chair, hoping someone will come in and tell me it's okay, give me hugs. I almost walked out tonight, just overcome by feelings of needing and deserving more. I went to help a friend of mine out, he leaves me a voicemail on my phone wanted to know "Where the fuck are you and what the fuck are you doing when the house and yard look like shit!!??!" Came tearing home to fight the battle. Lasted 4 hours, screaming, throwing shit - never been this bad before - both of us crying, him begging me not to go - why do I let him do this to me? Throat hurts, eyes burn - can't go lay in that bed with him.

No more to say,
Sam

 

[Jewelz]

Speechless, I reach out and pull sam close and hold her tightly....im so sorry sweetgirl.....so very sorry. i am so worried about you.

 

[Marilyth]

* Walks in and sees Sam crying on the couch. Doesn't say anything, but sits next to her and places arms around her, letting her cry on my shoulder....

It's all going to be alright... --shhhhh-- it's going to be ok

 

[Jewelz]

Re: Couldn't Wait...

I'm feeling beyond exhausted right now, seeing I was soooo close to the end there... I decided to tinker around with the AV. So this is my first official post with an av.

Jewelz, thanks again for the welcome in here. It's been fun and very interesting.

Um, more the merrier for the cruise! lol Just make sure you leave some handsome tushy's for me to squeeze. lol

I had so much fun on my 1st cruise and it was 4 women together. It was the best! Men on board were gorgeous and hmm those silky accents were to die for... almost tucked myself into an Aussie's crew cabin... hmm was he yummy. Wouldn't you know I didn't realize they'd marked me down on my cruise card as MRS. (so and so). I didn't see it til after I was paying for something and this Aussie was flirting like mad with me. Of course he never said too much more afterwards.. flirted just the same but, with a slight hesitation... gee, I wonder why???? For the record, I'm SINGLE!! And was at that time too! lol

Anyway... Next time I'll make sure not to have that happen again.

Sounds like a blast though!! love the av...

 

[Freya]

Wants to sneak in and confess - whispers because I'm not sure how this will go...

*Crying quietly, in a ball on my chair, hoping someone will come in and tell me it's okay, give me hugs. I almost walked out tonight, just overcome by feelings of needing and deserving more. I went to help a friend of mine out, he leaves me a voicemail on my phone wanted to know "Where the fuck are you and what the fuck are you doing when the house and yard look like shit!!??!" Came tearing home to fight the battle. Lasted 4 hours, screaming, throwing shit - never been this bad before - both of us crying, him begging me not to go - why do I let him do this to me? Throat hurts, eyes burn - can't go lay in that bed with him.

No more to say,
Sam

My arms seem to be doing this a lot lately, but I seem to be deriving lots of comfort from it myself.....so please, let me send you a hug.

 

[naughtygirl]

Wants to sneak in and confess - whispers because I'm not sure how this will go...

*Crying quietly, in a ball on my chair, hoping someone will come in and tell me it's okay, give me hugs. I almost walked out tonight, just overcome by feelings of needing and deserving more. I went to help a friend of mine out, he leaves me a voicemail on my phone wanted to know "Where the fuck are you and what the fuck are you doing when the house and yard look like shit!!??!" Came tearing home to fight the battle. Lasted 4 hours, screaming, throwing shit - never been this bad before - both of us crying, him begging me not to go - why do I let him do this to me? Throat hurts, eyes burn - can't go lay in that bed with him.

No more to say,
Sam

*holding Sam tight* Tomorrow is another day...when you can think clearer and figure out what YOU really need to be happy. I will keep you in my thoughts tonight.

 

[SexyAmber]

Wants to sneak in and confess - whispers because I'm not sure how this will go...

*Crying quietly, in a ball on my chair, hoping someone will come in and tell me it's okay, give me hugs. I almost walked out tonight, just overcome by feelings of needing and deserving more. I went to help a friend of mine out, he leaves me a voicemail on my phone wanted to know "Where the fuck are you and what the fuck are you doing when the house and yard look like shit!!??!" Came tearing home to fight the battle. Lasted 4 hours, screaming, throwing shit - never been this bad before - both of us crying, him begging me not to go - why do I let him do this to me? Throat hurts, eyes burn - can't go lay in that bed with him.

No more to say,
Sam

*hugs her gently, stroking her hair* it will be ok

 

[samanthak1721]

You are all so wonderful to me, and it just amazes me - I haven't been here that long -
I feel badly that mostly I lay crap at your all's feet and ask you to make me feel better, or at least your comfort - and I really don't feel like I've done anything for you all to deserve this. But I am grateful for it, regardless, I can't begin to express what it means to me.

I needed to say that, thank you.

 

[Freya]

In my life, I have been addicted to drugs, addicted to cigarettes, addicted to alcohol, addicted to casual, cheap sex......now possibly I am addicted to a person. But, disregarding the fact that I thought about him almost the entire time, I had a nice time with friends tonight. We had a great chat about the theory of someone for everyone, and everyone having someone who would find them attractive. We talked about self-esteem, confidence and the power of a smile. My friend told me I was beautiful.....wow, that's like 5 people in 3 days...what's up with that? My friend also told me that I flirt, which honestly is something I never knew I did. She told me that in the last 4 months, I have become so much more outgoing and open with people...which I did know. I am thinking that at some point, maybe in the very near future, I might actually start liking myself...I mean, all these people can't be wrong, can they?

Tomorrow I have an appointment early with someone, which is guaranteed to bring up all the guilt that I have about my daughter, but I will try my very best not to let myself fall back into my pit of self-loathing....instead I will remember how good I felt all day today about myself.

 

[samanthak1721]

Freya2 - I've never seen you, or a picture of you, but I can tell you that you are a beautiful person, from what I've seen (if that makes sense?)
I hope that one day soon you'll believe that.

 

[Freya]

You are all so wonderful to me, and it just amazes me - I haven't been here that long -
I feel badly that mostly I lay crap at your all's feet and ask you to make me feel better, or at least your comfort - and I really don't feel like I've done anything for you all to deserve this. But I am grateful for it, regardless, I can't begin to express what it means to me.

I needed to say that, thank you.

Hunny, that's what this place is for...spewing out your poison. Let me tell you, these people here are so wonderful and we all have our demons...and like I told someone last night..those with their own burdens always feel better being able to shoulder a little bit of others. It somehow makes your own easier to manage, if you can help another sort theirs out.

 

[Freya]

Freya2 - I've never seen you, or a picture of you, but I can tell you that you are a beautiful person, from what I've seen (if that makes sense?)
I hope that one day soon you'll believe that.

Thank you so much...I am seriously trying.

 

[naughtygirl]

You are all so wonderful to me, and it just amazes me - I haven't been here that long -
I feel badly that mostly I lay crap at your all's feet and ask you to make me feel better, or at least your comfort - and I really don't feel like I've done anything for you all to deserve this. But I am grateful for it, regardless, I can't begin to express what it means to me.

I needed to say that, thank you.

Oh Sam...please dont ever feel bad for sharing ANY of your feelings/experience with us. Please keep sharing with us. and anything I can do to be there for you, I will do, k? Just PM me if you need an ear or want to vent...whatever. There is a quote by Henri Frederick Amiel that I think sums it up for me....

"Life is short and we have never too much time for gladdening the hearts of those who are travelling the dark journey with us. Oh be swift to love; make haste to be kind."

I have experienced your journey and many of the others here. I hope that things get better for you sweet girl.

NG

 

[Freya]

I am such a FUCKING idiot.

 

[samanthak1721]

Freya - what in the hell makes you say that??

 

[Freya]

You'd almost think that after this many years I'd be used to how completely I can manage to fuck myself over.....how totally stupid I can be about things.

 

[Marilyth]

I am such a FUCKING idiot.

Why?? What happened?? (((HUG)))

 

[samanthak1721]

Freya2??

Is there anything I can do? (Although, I realize that since I have no idea where you are...)
I'm sorry. I can listen...

 

[Freya]

Freya2??

Is there anything I can do? (Although, I realize that since I have no idea where you are...)
I'm sorry. I can listen...

Please just give me a good, hard, swift kick in the ass. God, I'm so dumb. I knew it was wrong, I knew it was too good to be true, but I fell for it anyways.

 

[samanthak1721]

Good God, babe - do you want hugs? I'm sorry this is happening to you. Hugs, or do you want me to hold the punching bag? I'm very good at either, I've been told.

 

[sortacurious]

Freya? Sam?

Holy Shit! What happened today? Are you two ok? Group hugs and kisses?

Btw, Freya, you are far from being an idiot, whatever has happened!

 

[samanthak1721]

Sorta - I'm better - I've cooled off. I'm more worried about Freya right now than myself, but I need to go to bed (to couch??)! because of those tests tomorrow morning. I'll be on for a few more minutes, though, Freya - PM me if you feel the need.

So, Sorta, how's your day?

 

[Freya]

*wishes she was a lesbian...or a nun..or a celibate...or a robot with no heart*

*wishes she would have remembered all the times things went wrong and expected it to happen again*

*should have stuck to her philosophy of no feelings, no complications.....it's lonely but it hurts less*

*is amazed at how one person can pick you up and make you feel on top of the world, only to drop you on your head....should be used to it by now*

 

[warriorpoet]

Oh my

I feel things that I never thought I could feel and I think I am falling in love again! With a person whose outer beauty is only rivaled about what is inside and inside she is truly amazing!! I am lucky and if i should wake tomorrow and it all is gone I will have enough to fill my heart for a lifetime. Sorry if this is not what some of you who are feeling pain want to hear right now. The only solice that I give you is that around every bad turn is the prospect of happiness and we only truly lose when we stop looking for it. You are all special and deserve greatness find it in yourselves and share it with others, someone out there will desire what you have to offer. When happiness can be counted with whispers and glances and when love is more than talk, you have made it in life. Don't give up you are all better than that....I believe that and I believe in all of you!

MLFA
Warrriorpoet

 

[samanthak1721]

freya - I'm not sure what to say to you, I don't know what will make you feel better, if anything, right now. There is still room here on the couch beside me, though, if you want to sit and cuddle, and bitch about men.