*True Confessions*

[sortacurious]

Sorta - I'm better - I've cooled off. I'm more worried about Freya right now than myself, but I need to go to bed (to couch??)! because of those tests tomorrow morning. I'll be on for a few more minutes, though, Freya - PM me if you feel the need.

So, Sorta, how's your day?

I'm glad to hear you are better, but I'm still worried about you. I would definately not want to be crawling into bed with him either.
You deserve so much better, hun. Really! I hope you know this!

Sounds like our days were all shitty, BUT I'm still in a great mood. I'm going for the Don't Let The Bastards Get You Down attitude. It's working too. I did some journaling today for the first time in forever, it really helped alot. I made a list of what I'm looking for in that mysterious love. And tonight I ate too much pizza so it's double the midnight workout for me, lol.

If you can't sleep I'm up for the rest of the night and will be near the puter for most of it.



Freya, doll - I'm worried. When you're ready, come blow off some steam.

 

[samanthak1721]

Warriorpoet -
I am so happy for you! We all deserve to find that happiness, I'm glad that you have!

 

[warriorpoet]

Hello

Freya I don't know you but, I am sorry for your feelings of sorrow, pain and anger. The hardest thing about life I see is that those that we place the most trust and love are also most capable of hurting us! Never be ashamed for feeling, or trying, because you are searching and when you least expect it, i believe you will find what you desire. I am sorry if i intruded just hate seeing pain and I shall leave you be. If you need someone to listen though I have an open ear!

MLFA
Warriorpoet

 

[warriorpoet]

Thanks

Thank you Samantha I can see your warmth through your words and concern for a friend. I hope everything with her will be ok!

MLFA
Warriorpoet

 

[sortacurious]

WP,
Nice to meet you! Congradulations on your happiness! Very good words of wisdom, too.

Freya! I'm so so sorry!

 

[warriorpoet]

Thanks sortacurious

Thanks! I see you are also a memberof the bad boyz club. I have only been in for a day now but it is great to meet so many nice people!

MLFA
Warriorpoet

 

[Freya]

You know, you guys are wonderful.

Basically I'm not all that upset at anyone or anything but my own self. It was one of those things that was too fast, too intense and too damn good to be true. I feel a bit used, a bit lied to, but more than anything I just feel a bit stupid. They say run with your gut...like i told Amber, I should have taken my gut and ran. I knew better...I knew it wouldn't work...I knew I never get those things that come so easily to others. I think I got caught up in the drama of this place, and the emotions that I have seen in others...and fooled myself into thinking that was happening to others might just happen to me. I think I'll stick to my emotionless sex, and use this as a reminder of what not to expect for myself in the future. Tis my own fault, nobody else's.

 

[sortacurious]

Re: Thanks sortacurious

Thanks! I see you are also a memberof the bad boyz club. I have only been in for a day now but it is great to meet so many nice people!

MLFA
Warriorpoet

Yes, I'm a guest of the Bad Boyz Club and a Bad Gurlz Club member.
All are a wonderful bunch of people! Lots of fun and love to be had.

 

[warriorpoet]

Freya

I am sorry to hear your feelings have been that badly hurt, but because you showed them you should feel proud. Not feeling in life does not allow pain, but brings with it loneliness! Men can suck because we are unfortunately clueless where women are concerned, feelings scare us and we don't adapt well. Sometimes are teeth have to be kicked in the teeth a few times before we learn anything. Still, feelings other than anger and happiness can confuse the hell out of men and make us act like real assholes. Don't blame yourself! In time when you are ready the guard can come down and somewhere that special person will be waiting to love you like you need!

MLFA
Warriorpoet

 

[samanthak1721]

Freya,
I'm truly sorry that you are in pain, I wanted to wait to go to bed until I heard from you again. I've heard people say that different people find happiness/love in different places. I've found (may only apply to me, and also a warning that this is a very pessamistic view) - that love definately doesn't equal happiness, and happiness doesn't equal love, and I, personally, haven't yet found a decent amount of either. I think that anyone who can find it anywhere, with anyone, is very lucky, and I don't doubt that it does happen for some.
Hold tight to your friends, Freya, here and R/L - the true ones will listen and support you - and pass no judgement.
I hope that sleep finds you tonight, and that it blesses you with rest and dreams of kittens in play (or some other mindless pleasure to observe) -
Then again, maybe I'm just overtired.
Anyway - you are cared for and you are cared about. Please don't forget that.

(I still think your beautiful, even with the pain reflecting in your eyes)
Sam

 

[sortacurious]

You know, you guys are wonderful.

Basically I'm not all that upset at anyone or anything but my own self. It was one of those things that was too fast, too intense and too damn good to be true. I feel a bit used, a bit lied to, but more than anything I just feel a bit stupid. They say run with your gut...like i told Amber, I should have taken my gut and ran. I knew better...I knew it wouldn't work...I knew I never get those things that come so easily to others. I think I got caught up in the drama of this place, and the emotions that I have seen in others...and fooled myself into thinking that was happening to others might just happen to me. I think I'll stick to my emotionless sex, and use this as a reminder of what not to expect for myself in the future. Tis my own fault, nobody else's.

oh, hunny! I have so been there! It hurts, I know. My initial reaction was exactly the same. It's very hard to not get caught up in it all. Especially when it feels so good and you've been craving exactly what they give. I'm so sorry you are having to feel this pain. But don't blame yourself for wanting to feel what everyone else around us gets to feel. It's natural to want it. You went with your heart, unfortunately the heart has no logic.

I have yahoo if you want to talk about it.

 

[Freya]

Re: Freya

I am sorry to hear your feelings have been that badly hurt, but because you showed them you should feel proud. Not feeling in life does not allow pain, but brings with it loneliness! Men can suck because we are unfortunately clueless where women are concerned, feelings scare us and we don't adapt well. Sometimes are teeth have to be kicked in the teeth a few times before we learn anything. Still, feelings other than anger and happiness can confuse the hell out of men and make us act like real assholes. Don't blame yourself! In time when you are ready the guard can come down and somewhere that special person will be waiting to love you like you need!

MLFA
Warriorpoet

WP, I think I love you...............JUST KIDDING!!! Seriously though, for two reasons you are obviously a great guy. One is your advice, and the other is your friendship with Amber. She's an amazing person, who has made me smile tonight...and plus she said you're dead gorgeous!

Thanks so much.

 

[redelicious]

Late Night Confession-

*talked with OM on the phone tonight. It was so good to hear his voice. Wasn't sure if what happened was just a one time thing. Feeling much better now.

*likes to play with toys

*Thank God for toys

*Should own stock in Energizer or Duracell

Oceanbaby - My son is 14 months. Its probably a good time for him to wean, I just thought it would happen naturaly when he was ready.

Sam- You know my heart goes out to you. I've been in that place too many times. . .If you ever need to talk you can always PM me. I am also on aol AIM and Yahoo.

Freya- You are not stupid by any means, GF. I only add this caution: I have spent so much of my life behind walls. After awhile I grew tired of that existance - I was just numb. I had to learn to take risks. Funny thing about risks - sometimes you get hurt - devistated, even. But when the risk pays off it's incredible.
Something to think about . . .


to all

Red

 

[Freya]

Freya,
I'm truly sorry that you are in pain, I wanted to wait to go to bed until I heard from you again. I've heard people say that different people find happiness/love in different places. I've found (may only apply to me, and also a warning that this is a very pessamistic view) - that love definately doesn't equal happiness, and happiness doesn't equal love, and I, personally, haven't yet found a decent amount of either. I think that anyone who can find it anywhere, with anyone, is very lucky, and I don't doubt that it does happen for some.
Hold tight to your friends, Freya, here and R/L - the true ones will listen and support you - and pass no judgement.
I hope that sleep finds you tonight, and that it blesses you with rest and dreams of kittens in play (or some other mindless pleasure to observe) -
Then again, maybe I'm just overtired.
Anyway - you are cared for and you are cared about. Please don't forget that.

(I still think your beautiful, even with the pain reflecting in your eyes)
Sam

Go to bed hunny. And thank you so very much for your concern. You have enough of your own stuff to deal with tonight to be worrying about me, and yet you are. You are a wonderful person and I hope it all works out for you.

And I will sleep dreaming of kittens....I love kittens.

 

[Freya]

oh, hunny! I have so been there! It hurts, I know. My initial reaction was exactly the same. It's very hard to not get caught up in it all. Especially when it feels so good and you've been craving exactly what they give. I'm so sorry you are having to feel this pain. But don't blame yourself for wanting to feel what everyone else around us gets to feel. It's natural to want it. You went with your heart, unfortunately the heart has no logic.

I have yahoo if you want to talk about it.

No kidding...no logic, no sense. I jumped the gun a bit on this, ranting and crying....silly me. But you are so correct, in that it's easy to get caught up in what others have and are experiencing. Sometimes you just so badly want it, that you put aside all your brains, and go with your heart.

We will get it girl, you know? Some day, it will come to all of us....you, me, all the other terminally unhappies of the world...we will get it. Just have to believe I think.

 

[samanthak1721]

kay, then gurlz, (and any guy that may or may not be still hangin' out) - I'm off to bed - got these tests in the morning that I must be at. So...uh, I hope to be able to get on the net tomorrow night, if not, know I will try.

ALSO (and this is the most important thing I will say this hour)

If any of you, ANY OF YOU, want to email me, go right ahead - I can't get on this site at work, but I can check my mail (gotta love hotmail!)
Freya, I hope things get better,
Red, Sorta - Freya, too - you are angels -
sweet dreams!
Sam

 

[warriorpoet]

Freya

Trust me you will find what you look for as long as you don't fear the journey and allow others to change your path! Stay the course and maybe we can see happiness in your next thread, unitil then comfort yourself within your friends.

MLFA
Warriorpoet

 

[Freya]

kay, then gurlz, (and any guy that may or may not be still hangin' out) - I'm off to bed - got these tests in the morning that I must be at. So...uh, I hope to be able to get on the net tomorrow night, if not, know I will try.

ALSO (and this is the most important thing I will say this hour)

If any of you, ANY OF YOU, want to email me, go right ahead - I can't get on this site at work, but I can check my mail (gotta love hotmail!)
Freya, I hope things get better,
Red, Sorta - Freya, too - you are angels -
sweet dreams!
Sam

night hun, thank you!!

 

[sortacurious]

No kidding...no logic, no sense. I jumped the gun a bit on this, ranting and crying....silly me. But you are so correct, in that it's easy to get caught up in what others have and are experiencing. Sometimes you just so badly want it, that you put aside all your brains, and go with your heart.

We will get it girl, you know? Some day, it will come to all of us....you, me, all the other terminally unhappies of the world...we will get it. Just have to believe I think.

Yes, we will. It will be beautiful! It will be everything and forever.
*sigh*
Until then....there's always masturbation and one night stands

 

[Freya]

Re: Freya

Trust me you will find what you look for as long as you don't fear the journey and allow others to change your path! Stay the course and maybe we can see happiness in your next thread, unitil then comfort yourself within your friends.

MLFA
Warriorpoet

You will, thankfully my whining usually only lasts a short time before I shake my head and work it out. It's so nice to be able to get on and rant here. I never kept a diary, so this is a great alternative.

 

[sortacurious]

Good night, Sam. Kitty dreams for you too!

 

[Freya]

Yes, we will. It will be beautiful! It will be everything and forever.
*sigh*
Until then....there's always masturbation and one night stands

*giggles*

What would life be like without B.O.B's huh?

 

[SexyAmber]

Well to everyone...

First Warrior, I am so glad everyone here is seeing how incredibly special you are and why you make everyone around you a better person. After all you have been through, You are a constant inspiration to me on the kind of person I strive to be.

Freya, Sam and all my friends who are feeling sad I hope that tonight when you sleep you know regardless of your circumstances someone does care about you. You are worthy of better and you are entitled to happiness. Ok my inspirational poem again that I always read for you all to recite before bed.

My love,
Amber

Comes the Dawn by Kara Shotshall

After a while, you learn the subtle difference

between holding a hand and chaining a soul.

And you learn that love doesn't mean possession

and company doesn't mean security,

and loneliness is universal.

And you learn that kisses aren't contracts,

and presents aren't promises...

and you begin to accept your defeats

with your head up and your eyes open,

with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child.

And you learn to build all of your hope on today,

because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain,

and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight

because tomorrow's ground can be too uncertain for plans;

yet each step taken in a new direction creates a path

towards the promise of a brighter dawn.

After a while you learn that even sunshine burns

if you get too much.

So you plant your own garden,

and nourish your own soul

instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure...

That you really are strong,

and you really do have worth.

And you learn and grow...

With every good-bye you learn

 

[sortacurious]

*kisses Amber's cheek*
Thanks for sharing it! So true!

 

[Freya]

Well to everyone...

First Warrior, I am so glad everyone here is seeing how incredibly special you are and why you make everyone around you a better person. After all you have been through, You are a constant inspiration to me on the kind of person I strive to be.

Freya, Sam and all my friends who are feeling sad I hope that tonight when you sleep you know regardless of your circumstances someone does care about you. You are worthy of better and you are entitled to happiness. Ok my inspirational poem again that I always read for you all to recite before bed.

My love,
Amber

Comes the Dawn by Kara Shotshall

After a while, you learn the subtle difference

between holding a hand and chaining a soul.

And you learn that love doesn't mean possession

and company doesn't mean security,

and loneliness is universal.

And you learn that kisses aren't contracts,

and presents aren't promises...

and you begin to accept your defeats

with your head up and your eyes open,

with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child.

And you learn to build all of your hope on today,

because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain,

and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight

because tomorrow's ground can be too uncertain for plans;

yet each step taken in a new direction creates a path

towards the promise of a brighter dawn.

After a while you learn that even sunshine burns

if you get too much.

So you plant your own garden,

and nourish your own soul

instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure...

That you really are strong,

and you really do have worth.

And you learn and grow...

With every good-bye you learn

God Amber, you rock! That poem says it all doesn't it?