trouble achieving orgasm. How can i increase my chances?

[jodiross]

I think the advice to masturbate, try some toys, and read something erotic is all excellent. You also might want to try watching some erotic movies. That might do something for you.

You never really said how willing your husband is to help you achieve orgasm. Is he doing everything he can to help? Is he open to trying new things?

One other thing you might want to try is to fantasize while you masturbate. It can really help.

Hope things are improving and that you are enjoying your sexuality more. Did you ever see the doctor? If so, was that any help?

Jodi

 

[klippert]

This will most likely get a bitter beer face...have you tried anal... i'm serious. Mrs K can have those moments... where it's difficult for her to orgasm...I've watched her work her clitty and nearly cramp up from frigging.... then I introduced her to anal play, eventually anal fucking... she has had the most intense orgasms from her back hole being stimulated..

 

[CBM514]

This will most likely get a bitter beer face...have you tried anal... i'm serious. Mrs K can have those moments... where it's difficult for her to orgasm...I've watched her work her clitty and nearly cramp up from frigging.... then I introduced her to anal play, eventually anal fucking... she has had the most intense orgasms from her back hole being stimulated..

Very good suggestion! Bride and I have found that even a finger anally during oral or regular sex increases sensations and makes a stronger and faster orgasm

 

[eric60red]

Has all this advice helped you at all?

 

[innocencebegone]

BWAHAHA ...nailed that one !

Why would you purposefully say hurtful things like that? If you had this problem, you would not be so rude! Be nice or leave posts alone.

 

[innocencebegone]

Has all this advice helped you at all?

it's kind of a mixed bag for me. I have tried masturbation, but it rarely helps. I think the hysterectomy I had ruined achieving an orgasm for me. I love it when my husband uses Trojan warming on my clit. It feels so good and I get some of the way, but can't get all the way. I am ready to give up and accept the fact that I am broken. Husband doesn't mind that I have trouble. he tries to help all he can, but is willing to see past this. besides, on a good note, I can give him one hell of a BJ (I do not let his release go to waste!)

Thank you to everyone who gave good advice. To the haters, and you know who you are, I wouldn't wish this trouble on my worst enemy! Please do not say such hateful things. You never know. one day YOU could be the one not feeling satisfied in the bedroom, or the car, or the kitchen, or the.....

 

[innocencebegone]

This will most likely get a bitter beer face...have you tried anal... i'm serious. Mrs K can have those moments... where it's difficult for her to orgasm...I've watched her work her clitty and nearly cramp up from frigging.... then I introduced her to anal play, eventually anal fucking... she has had the most intense orgasms from her back hole being stimulated..

I would love to give anal a try, but I have serious pelvic and back issues so that is out.

 

[CBM514]

Why would you purposefully say hurtful things like that? If you had this problem, you would not be so rude! Be nice or leave posts alone.

OP read back through my responses please...I meant no disrespect to you and attempted to offer helpful suggestions...the quote above was in response to Elain's comment ...

Why do you need to message the OP? Why not share your pearls of wisdom on this thread to help other women who might happen across it?

Oh, wait. The OP appears to be female and has fewer than 10 posts. Fresh meat for the predators!

Meaning the last part of the comment that there was someone here looking not to offer any real suggestions but just prey on you...

Apologies if that was taken out of context...

 

[gldngrl]

My Advice for Trouble Achieving Orgasm

I love to engage in sex with my husband, but I have a difficult time achieving orgasm. Since my surgery years ago (hysterectomy) I haven't been able to reach orgasm as easily, and sometimes I can't get there at all. Does anyone have any reliable advice?

Sorry if this is a repeat. I'm new here and trying to get the hang of this.

Anyway, I'd suggest getting your hormone levels checked. The right amount of estrogen, progesterone and testosterone can make all the difference.

I'm a 49 yr old married woman who never had a problem reaching an orgasm until I was 48 yrs old and entered menopause. It was horribly frustrating to myself and my husband. Even when I tried masturbating (fingers and vibrators) it wouldn't happen or if it did it, it would take an hour!

I finally had my hormone levels checked and it turned out I was barely producing estrogen and progesterone. My testosterone level was normal. I went on hormone replacements (estrogen oral tablet and cream for vag/clit) and progesterone. After a couple of months I could at least have an orgasm, but it still took longer than it used to. Finally six months later I'm back to normal.

Hope this helps. Please feel free to PM me if you have any questions.

 

[c716]

We have a different problem...
After her hysterectomy, my wife libido went to zero. I have to pressure her to have sex.
I feel as badly for her as I do for me. This is why I've been spending a lot of time on Lit.

When she does let it happen, I can bring her to climax as easily as I could pre-op. She is multiple orgasmic when I go down on her.

She used to love sex, now it feels like a chore she needs to deal with. It's a drag.

Hormone replacement is now the big no-no because of the health risks. So now what?

 

[LadiLucki7]

I definitely agree with the ladies above. Masturbating, know what it takes for yourself to achieve by yourself then incorporate it in with your husband is nice. And definitely relax. Sometimes I feel like I can rub, tease, massage forever and still can't find that ultimate release then I realize how tense I've made myself so relaxing and not thinking about usually result in a very intense hard cum. Hope you can start achieving yours

 

[gldngrl]

Problem with low libido

We have a different problem...
After her hysterectomy, my wife libido went to zero. I have to pressure her to have sex.
I feel as badly for her as I do for me. This is why I've been spending a lot of time on Lit.

When she does let it happen, I can bring her to climax as easily as I could pre-op. She is multiple orgasmic when I go down on her.

She used to love sex, now it feels like a chore she needs to deal with. It's a drag.

Hormone replacement is now the big no-no because of the health risks. So now what?

Has she had a complete blood panel? Low thyroid can cause lack of sex drive. Also, is she under a lot of stress or depressed right now? Those also cause can cause low libido.

I know I'm going to sound like a hormone fanatic, but she might want to get her hormone levels checked (estrogen, progesterone, testosterone). Low T in women can cause low/no libido. There are natural alternatives to hormone replacements. The People's Pharmacy is a credible resource and does suggest alternatives.

If your wife is comfortable with her gynecologist, she might want to make an appointment discuss all this.

 

[Asian_Flower]

Hi there. Forgive me if this has already been mentioned, but, have you tried having sex in new places i.e the kitchen table, a secluded car park somewhere, a lunch time tryst at a hotel etc, or trying new types of eroticism i.e a series on sexy txt messages while you are at work, using a toy during sex, dressing up (school girl etc), light BDSM, fetish stuff. I know these arent day to day solutions, but I have found moving things away from the "normal" makes me so much more easilyable to climax.

Hope this helps a little

 

[lauren26f]

I love to engage in sex with my husband, but I have a difficult time achieving orgasm. Since my surgery years ago (hysterectomy) I haven't been able to reach orgasm as easily, and sometimes I can't get there at all. Does anyone have any reliable advice?

What is cumming? An important question to answer. It is a release of pressure and pleasure.

There is a new thought out that some do like and I definitely am getting to like, especially with masturbation. It is just to have sex and enjoy what happens rather than focus on cumming, or even want to cum. Listen, look, feel, experience what is going on instead. I admit I love to cum, but a friend asked me, "what about being on the edge of cumming or just anticipating it for an hour? Experiencing all that pleasure may make you say, 'Fuck cumming. This is better!'"

Tantric Sex is what she was talking about. That is tons of touch (foreplay) and not necessarily sexual organs touching. Everywhere else. Lots of kissing, body kissing, nipple play, neck kissing, massage, inner thigh massage, breast massage (man or woman), etc. Basically, we've lost the art to being vulnerable for the absurd goal of just fucking. So, slow down, make the sex about experiencing pleasure and forget cumming and you may just cum anyway.

Some things to do: mood - music, candles, etc. Making out fully dressed. You can grope each other, but keep your clothes on a good 30 mins and build anticipation. Take clothes off to just the intimates left. Now, kiss all over, massage all over. Remove final clothes. Lots more kissing and massaging non-sexual places with oils or creams. A good 2 hours or so later, oral sex. A good 30 mins or so. Then, sex. Change positions every 5 minutes and go slow. Listen to your body and just feel the entire time, sex or foreplay. More than likely, he's gonna blow during oral. But, you might find the build-up is way more fun than just cumming.

Why am I a lesbian? Fuck, women know foreplay is the main reason. Yes, I love girls, too, but, isn't that it? They know how I feel, how to make me feel better, and vice-versa in a sexual way or not.

 

[pedal_dew]

Lauren's words:

"we've lost the art to being vulnerable for the absurd goal of just fucking. So, slow down, make the sex about experiencing pleasure and forget cumming and you may just cum anyway."

This is very well said.

 

[imrhapsody]

Thanks for the advice. Thankfully, I do not have any small children, so that is not the trouble. My hubby and I have tried using the Trojan warming lubricant and I can say that seems to help some, though not as much as I would like. I have taken your words to heart and have achieved a little success! As a matter of fact, I had one hell of an orgasm last night. I will try to speak with my doctor as soon as I can get in and ask if he has any other helpful measures to consider.
ps. reading the 'Fifty Shades' books have definitely improved our sex life!!

Excellent!

 

[innocencebegone]

are u serious??

And I'm prolly right. I never said her question was bogus. But I see evidence of games Eric Berne called AINT IT AWFUL and YES, BUT. When women treat their orgasms like slot machine payoffs I wonder what sorta games theyre playing with daddy.

I'm usta the derision and ridicule, and I'm usually right.

I have a legitimate issue and I get dribble from someone like you! I do not have "daddy issues" ok, and yes this may come off as rude, but you are a pervert! Thankfully, I choose to no longer listen to people like you and have found others who understand and can offer better advice. I do not play games with situations like this, and I am fed up with people who make fun of me. You do not know me and at this moment, I do not want to know someone like you. Please do not send any more replies.

 

[innocencebegone]

thanks..

Excellent!

I appreciate your reply. Some others have not been so nice.

 

[innocencebegone]

what?

"we've lost the art to being vulnerable for the absurd goal of just fucking. So, slow down, make the sex about experiencing pleasure and forget cumming and you may just cum anyway."

This is very well said.

As I may have stated before, I have tried that. At this point though, if I never have another orgasm, I can deal with it. I compensate in other ways, especially by blowing my husband's cock and swallowing afterward. Best part of sex! He gets off on it and I have learned I like it just as much.

 

[DrHappy]

I agree with the others about getting your hormones checked. If you've had a hysterectomy, then your hormones are certainly whacked. If you are already taking hormones, then you likely aren't getting what you need.

Also, I'd recommend that you check into bioidentical hormone treatment. I realize that this seems to be associated with fringe medicine, but it seems that they got it right this time. Here's an article with some background Bioidentical Hormones:
Why Are They Still Controversial?

 

[Mission_Blue]

Have you tried using a Hitachi magic wand? Those things are downright incredible. Even if I'm not in the mood, it gets me there, and quickly! I'm sure porn, lube and alcohol (separately or together) have probably all been suggested...

 

[luvnmyboys]

don't give up. it sounds like you have kind of admitted defeat. there is a lot of good advice here. i think the things that stand out for me are enjoying the journey not just getting to the goal. i have to just turn my mind off while playing otherwise i don't even stand a chance of having an orgasm. if i'm thinking then i'm not focused on how things feel. i have trouble being in the moment all the time as i'm usually focused on something i need to do so it's really important to just stop and enjoy the feeling during sex. the other advice i would offer is to find something new and different. read more erotica and find something that gets you excited and give it a try. the more i'm thinking about sex, the more i want it. i'm glad you are content with giving your husband a good experience but i really hope you don't feel like you're broken. i think there is something or some way to make it awesome for you. best of luck! i would try the dr if nothing is helping. i know it's hard to talk about this kind of stuff, but they probably have something that can help.

 

[FindingFire]

This is really sad to admit but the only orgasms I have are with me and my trusty vibrator.

No man I've ever been with would know that though.