trouble achieving orgasm. How can i increase my chances?

[innocencebegone]

I love to engage in sex with my husband, but I have a difficult time achieving orgasm. Since my surgery years ago (hysterectomy) I haven't been able to reach orgasm as easily, and sometimes I can't get there at all. Does anyone have any reliable advice?

 

[justaguyuk]

I love to engage in sex with my husband, but I have a difficult time achieving orgasm. Since my surgery years ago (hysterectomy) I haven't been able to reach orgasm as easily, and sometimes I can't get there at all. Does anyone have any reliable advice?

Just noticed I cant message you.

 

[COCK_STAR]

Stop thinking about it, and enjoy the moment.

 

[CBM514]

Are there positions that get you closer than others? Have you used vibe's, etc in addition to sex? Does oral help before/during/after? Have you talked to your doctor about this? could be hormonal in natuee? Sorry for the barrage of questions, but hard to give advice without a little more detail...

 

[innocencebegone]

I have tried being on top, but that doesn't seem to help. I haven't considered the hormone thing until now, so perhaps that could be it. t sucks being so young (under 45) and having this trouble. As for asking my doctor, I would feel embarrassed to do so, though why should I?
I will give the advice some thought and post later to let you know how it helped. Thanks/

 

[innocencebegone]

been there, tried that. Ralaxation DOES NOT HELP! I have received other advice and will give it a try. Like I said to another, it sucks to be so young and have this trouble!

 

[NippleMuncher]

Loss of sensation with any type of surgery is typical, so you will definitely have to experiment to find new ways to reach the same goals.

Orgasm for women is more between their ears than physical, so being told to relax is definitely not going to help, however, if you can find a means to become more relaxed (sans alcohol ), then your chances are better at achieving your goal. If you've got kids, can you send them to a relative or friend's house for the night or weekend? Can you have a nice romantic dinner out with hubby, maybe take a short trip to an enticing location?

Short of that, is hubby doing everything he can to help you achieve an orgasm? Given that you need more stimuli, is he being diligent enough, long enough, firm enough?

Don't be afraid to discuss this issue with your doctor, there could be physical issues at play that need to be addressed, there could be hormonal issues, could be a combination of the two. Your doctor has heard it all, and being a professional, should be able to listen to your concerns and help you accordingly. If this doctor can't, then I highly recommend one who can talk to you like a human being and not just the carrier of lady parts.

Good luck, and please report back with your progress.

 

[innocencebegone]

Thanks for the advice. Thankfully, I do not have any small children, so that is not the trouble. My hubby and I have tried using the Trojan warming lubricant and I can say that seems to help some, though not as much as I would like. I have taken your words to heart and have achieved a little success! As a matter of fact, I had one hell of an orgasm last night. I will try to speak with my doctor as soon as I can get in and ask if he has any other helpful measures to consider.
ps. reading the 'Fifty Shades' books have definitely improved our sex life!!

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

This is gonna come across as rude and crude, but here goes: Stop playing games like AINT IT AWFUL and YES, BUT. They go hand in hand with futility.

 

[CBM514]

Reading erotica alone or together can also help...someone mentioned a site called, "literotica" that had some stories you may like?

 

[Eilan]

Just noticed I cant message you.

Why do you need to message the OP? Why not share your pearls of wisdom on this thread to help other women who might happen across it?

Oh, wait. The OP appears to be female and has fewer than 10 posts. Fresh meat for the predators!

 

[Lord Pmann]

This is gonna come across as rude and crude, but here goes: Stop playing games like AINT IT AWFUL and YES, BUT. They go hand in hand with futility.

What are you on about, you old goat? She had a legit question.

And everything you say comes across as rude and crude. And disjointed. And weird. And like the nonsensical ramblings of an old, creepy man.

 

[CBM514]

Why do you need to message the OP? Why not share your pearls of wisdom on this thread to help other women who might happen across it?

Oh, wait. The OP appears to be female and has fewer than 10 posts. Fresh meat for the predators!

BWAHAHA ...nailed that one !

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

What are you on about, you old goat? She had a legit question.

And everything you say comes across as rude and crude. And disjointed. And weird. And like the nonsensical ramblings of an old, creepy man.

And I'm prolly right. I never said her question was bogus. But I see evidence of games Eric Berne called AINT IT AWFUL and YES, BUT. When women treat their orgasms like slot machine payoffs I wonder what sorta games theyre playing with daddy.

I'm usta the derision and ridicule, and I'm usually right.

 

[MaineFemale]

I love to engage in sex with my husband, but I have a difficult time achieving orgasm. Since my surgery years ago (hysterectomy) I haven't been able to reach orgasm as easily, and sometimes I can't get there at all. Does anyone have any reliable advice?

YES, drink wine. And not just one glass, have a couple of glasses. It really is the most potent aphrodisiac (that is legal) that I know of. Also, forget about him entering you. Be selfish and let him give you oral for a long time. If this doesn't work, there are testosterone creams that can be prescribed to women in very small doses. Just enough to amp up your sex drive. Have fun

 

[SquidProQuo]

Why do you need to message the OP? Why not share your pearls of wisdom on this thread to help other women who might happen across it?

Oh, wait. The OP appears to be female and has fewer than 10 posts. Fresh meat for the predators!

LOL, I myself am new here and I'm getting so many PMs. Or Literotica is just really /friendly/. Perhaps it's a bit of both.

As to the thread starter, what helps me is that I read erotica to help get me going. For me a lot of it is psychological. Porn works for me too.

 

[Que]

Stay in the moment...quit chasing it..that makes it worse...as far as doctor are you on any anorgasmia inducing medications like most SSRI anti-depressents?

Enjoy the physical sensations that you are experiencing and don't worry about whether they do or don't lead to an orgasm if they do they do if they don't they don't... that's the best way to actually have one.

Otherwise they will remain tantalizingly out of reach.

 

[eric60red]

I love to engage in sex with my husband, but I have a difficult time achieving orgasm. Since my surgery years ago (hysterectomy) I haven't been able to reach orgasm as easily, and sometimes I can't get there at all. Does anyone have any reliable advice?

my wife had a similar problem after her hysterectomy 17 years ago, she lost the desire for sex. So we now don't sleep together, I should have sued the surgeon. I have others now who help to satisfy my needs. I feel he damages some nerves, I am assuming from your remarks that you have an orgasm, but it takes a long time to achieve.

Having an orgasm is no doubt one of the most pleasurable sensations known to humankind. For many individuals the ultimate goal of a sexual experience, whether it be alone or with a partner, is to have an orgasm. Although orgasms are a paramount part of many sexual experiences, relativity little is known about the underlying physiological mechanisms that control orgasmic responses. These four stages are excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. The orgasmic stage is the shortest but most intense of the four. There are striking similarities in the physiological events that occur in both the male and female body during orgasm. Studies have also shown that during orgasm the feelings experienced by both males and females are very similar. One study showed that even "sex experts" could not even reliably distinguish between written accounts of male and female orgasms.

Its an interesting subject, if you would like me to expand my thoughts, Pm me

 

[TeaforMe]

Don't underestimate the power of masturbation. Take some time to reacquaint yourself with your body to see what works best for you now. There is no pressure to orgasm right away, and it might help you get over any mental hurdles you might be experiencing.

At the very least, you will get some much needed sexual relief, so that when you do engage in relations with your husband again, you won't feel that you have to get there. It could also help you find new ways to reach climax that you could teach your husband to use.

Good luck!

 

[VA_Boy]

Holy shit!

I read your post, had an answer in mind...and find out that Tea For Me beat me to it! (Look above this one!) One of the hottest sexual moments ever was with my ex wife. When we first got together she laid between my legs, naked, and masturbated. After the first orgasm she took my hand and said "Let me show you how I like it". I have used what she taught me with every woman I have been with since, never had a complaint.

Relax, know your body and how it responds...now. Then teach hubby. Hope it helps. (Lack of sex is what made my ex my ex!)

 

[GrrlFriday]

Some aerobic exercise like dancing might also help with the self-exploration - it gets blood flowing and muscles working, gets you more in-tune with your body. The more you practice and explore, the easier it will get, as you seem to have noticed. Good luck!

 

[eric60red]

Some aerobic exercise like dancing might also help with the self-exploration - it gets blood flowing and muscles working, gets you more in-tune with your body. The more you practice and explore, the easier it will get, as you seem to have noticed. Good luck!

That's very true, practice makes perfect, the more you do it the better you become.

 

[Lovetolisten]

It can take a while...

Nerves are cut during any type of surgery. Some of them return to normal, some don't. Some react in really odd ways, having taken a different route to reconnect.
It took a few years after my hysterectomy for the majority of the numbness to go away.

Masturbation can be key, but also, RELAXATION. If you are trying too hard, it isn't going to happen. Try not to tense up, breath, and enjoy the ride

 

[GrrlFriday]

With the 'relaxation' thing, I agree in part - it's helpful to relax your mind, but it can sometimes be counter-productive to relax your body. If you need to ratchet up that positive sexual tension inside yourself before you can cum, then relaxing your body can undo some of that. It depends on the person and the situation, but for me, 'relax' has been a bit of a mixed bag.

 

[eric60red]

touching

You relax before you start, and when your comfortable, start to caress, and touch the parts of your body that you like to be touched, as you start to become aroused, you can start to rub those parts. Your body will respond in its own way, soon that feeling of pleasure will become a need. Your desire becomes stronger, your rubbing becomes harder, then faster, and then you cant help your self, you have to climax. Its such a wonderful feeling as you reach the point of no return, and explode. Then as a wave of pleasure sweeps through you body, and it subsides you then relax with a happy smile on your face