Tranny, Trannie, Transsexual, t-girl - author needs help

[BuckyDuckman]

In a recent submission about a man and woman sharing an evening with a transsexual woman, I have stumbled into an unintentional terminology issue that I'm hoping this community can help me clean up.

First off, I missed the memo where the word 'tranny" has apparently become as offensive to some as the "f" word for describing a homosexual male or the "n" word for describing a person of African-American descent. Making matters worse for me: there's a character limit to Lit.com's titles. A title can't be more than 35 characters long. As such, to maintain my descriptive title, I'm forced to truncate the word "transsexual." In hindsight, maybe just "trans" would have been a better choice, but I didn't believe it was descriptive enough. (I really wanted it to be "transsexual.") Additionally, I don't believe I can change the title at this point.

However, a second issue came up: one commentator claims my use of the word "she-male" to describe their transsexual friend could be considered offensive, too.

Well steal my clothes and fuck me running... this is getting to be a moving target for me! I have zero interest in offending members of a community to which I happen to belong. I believe my stories stand on their own as being GLBT friendly and accessible.

Anyway, some help from the community would be appreciated. What are better choices for the "t" word and/or the use of "she-male" as a descriptive of the character?

I made another mistake in the story, too. Partway through the story, one of the character's experience a name change from Melanie to Melinda. Since I need to fix that mistake, I can try fixing the other ones, too. Any suggestions?

Thanks in advance!

BD

 

[Stella_Omega]

"shemale" is very offensive, in the way "whore" is offensive-- it's the same thing. It's a porn industry term for fetish objects. T-girl is an attempt by the porn industry to pretend they didn't really mean it, but they do.

"Tranny" is still used in a few phrases like "tranny chaser" (which is derogatory) but it most often means transvestite or drag queen. And a woman who was born in a male body and has undergone or is undergoing all the hard work and tears and general fucked-uppedness it takes to bring her body into line with her mind is NOT a transvestite. She's not merely putting on clothes. "tranny" is one of those words that only trans people get to reclaim, like the n word.

Your character is a trans woman. Notice the space between trans and woman-- it's not a job description like "congresswoman" it's a modifier of selfhood, like "white woman." That is, at this time, the only respectful way to refer to such a woman. Although-- "woman" is another good term.

You can change your title by resubmitting the story with the new title and note in the notes field to the effect. You can edit it the same way at the same time.

BTW-- why the fuck would you use those terms in the title of your thread after you had been told they were offensive?

 

[BuckyDuckman]

"shemale" is very offensive, in the way "whore" is offensive-- it's the same thing. It's a porn industry term for fetish objects. T-girl is an attempt by the porn industry to pretend they didn't really mean it, but they do.

"Tranny" is still used in a few phrases like "tranny chaser" (which is derogatory) but it most often means transvestite or drag queen. And a woman who was born in a male body and has undergone or is undergoing all the hard work and tears and general fucked-uppedness it takes to bring her body into line with her mind is NOT a transvestite. She's not merely putting on clothes. "tranny" is one of those words that only trans people get to reclaim, like the n word.

Your character is a trans woman. Notice the space between trans and woman-- it's not a job description like "congresswoman" it's a modifier of selfhood, like "white woman." That is, at this time, the only respectful way to refer to such a woman. Although-- "woman" is another good term.

You can change your title by resubmitting the story with the new title and note in the notes field to the effect. You can edit it the same way at the same time.

BTW-- why the fuck would you use those terms in the title of your thread after you had been told they were offensive?

It's a point of order. I posted the story BEFORE discovering anyone considered these terms were offensive. As a fast and dirty guide, I skimmed through the tags listed on Lit for transsexuals/crossdressers. I consulted the couple trans people I know IRL and one blew it off: "It's not a great word, Buck, but fuck it. It's just a story on a porn site." The other wanted to have a long, meaningful conversation about the woes of being a transgendered person (a conversation that happens at the drop of a hat with this person), but who ultimately said, "There's the community and the world. Who's your audience?"

The first person, a crossdresser, enjoys being a man, but also enjoys dressing up as a woman. His biggest concern seems to be finding a woman who will embrace his interests in crossdressing.

The second person, dresses as a man, but identifies as a woman. She presents to the world at large as a very gay man. She alternates between wanting gender reassignment treatment and not wanting it. She refuses to dress as a woman in most circumstances, regardless of her gender identity because she doesn't want to be perceived as a crossdresser. She wants a "real man" to love her, cherish her, hold her and take care of her as she believes any real man would do for their (her words) "real woman." And she wants to take care of that "real man" as a "real woman" (again, her words). Those of us who know her best accept her for what she is, a woman in a man's body who wants to be accepted as woman regardless of how she dresses or what kind of genitals she possesses.

I live America's heartlands. It's rural, ultra-conservative, and ultra-religious. Those of us with alternative lifestyles have learned to keep our heads down, quietly seek each other out for acceptance, and fly beneath the radar. There are the out and proud few who are in-your-face political about GLBT issues and they often add fuel to the anti-GLBT pinheads. It's not uncommon to see an event advertised that looks GLBT friendly, only to find out that it's a front for a church group who wants to save your soul from the ravages of sin. Out in the trenches of rural, middle America, it's a constant tightrope walk. The "progressive" people are the ones who will say, "Oh, I have a gay friend." But if you push, they only mean, "I know a guy I think might be gay."

I was recently in Orlando on business (a frequent business trip for me). At the airport, I saw one man being picked up at baggage claim by another man. They embraced and then openly kissed as any lovers might after a long absence. I was equally overjoyed by their PDA and how the people around them didn't care. I wanted to applaud the world. I saw male couples openly holding hands in the malls and when I returned to the airport, I saw the same scene repeated in reverse by a different couple. I was encouraged to see people being people. But where I live? That could never happen. When I travel to rural WI, I know it won't happen. Lancaster, PA? Nope. Hell, I don't even see it in Baltimore or Kansas City.

Who's the audience for my stories? I think the primary audience for my stories are people on the fringes. Straight men and women who are fascinated by the idea of crossing the line. People in denial about how their visits to an adult theater or gloryhole to suck dick makes them bi. Basically, the great, unwashed masses who dabble in a bit of this and bit of that without an interest in being politically active about their choices. Along the way of entertaining these people, I have zero interest in insulting others.

An edit is being submitted. I'll request the title to substitute the word "Trans" for the current word choice. I'm not sure how that effect Lit's hyperlink system, which seems to be based on titles. I'll ask the mods.

 

[Safe_Bet]

You never answered Stella's question, so I'll repeat it:

Why the fuck would you use those terms in the title of your thread after you had been told they were offensive?

 

[BuckyDuckman]

You never answered Stella's question, so I'll repeat it:

Why the fuck would you use those terms in the title of your thread after you had been told they were offensive?

Actually, Safe, that was the first thing I did. Then I went on to describe life appears to me in rural, middle America.

It's a point of order. I posted the story BEFORE discovering anyone considered these terms were offensive.

 

[Safe_Bet]

Actually, Safe, that was the first thing I did. Then I went on to describe life appears to me in rural, middle America.

I think Stella, and I'm sure I was, referring to THIS thread.

 

[BuckyDuckman]

I think Stella, and I'm sure I was, referring to THIS thread.

D'oh! Missed that! That IS what she said, isn't it?

Rather Pollyanna of me, that's for sure.

Wasn't sure how to ask for suggestions/advice without being specific about the nature of that advice.

Guess I'll go sit over here in the corner with head held in shame for awhile.

 

[Etoile]

A more appropriate title might have been "What is a short, non-offensive term for a transgender woman?"

You seem contrite, though, so I don't see any reason to be upset.

 

[BuckyDuckman]

A more appropriate title might have been "What is a short, non-offensive term for a transgender woman?"

You seem contrite, though, so I don't see any reason to be upset.

Thanks. That would have been a better choice.