To Experenced RT submissives and those that know them
- Thread starter Richard49
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Hello Richard,
LOL ... I remember, after my first bondage experience, in between gasps and moans, i wondered aloud whether "sex" would ever be the same again. He just chuckled!
So .. to answer your question as best i can ... sex with the SO is still good ... but the sad part is he's not at all into "tying me up, making me behave" ... he's a gentle soul, worships me, and from what i've read in your other posts, has a lot in common with you. Maybe you've seen him at a meeting. I chose not to mother him any longer ... and he chose to get clean ... the two are not connected.
So now he is stronger ... a man i can respect ... but regretfully i've now found that although he's a better person, he's not the man i need.
And vanilla sex is still fun but I do seem to find myself taking the Top ... directing and suggesting and occassionally demanding. And constantly in the back of my mind is the One i have not seen. Who one day will own me.
LOL ... I remember, after my first bondage experience, in between gasps and moans, i wondered aloud whether "sex" would ever be the same again. He just chuckled!
So .. to answer your question as best i can ... sex with the SO is still good ... but the sad part is he's not at all into "tying me up, making me behave" ... he's a gentle soul, worships me, and from what i've read in your other posts, has a lot in common with you. Maybe you've seen him at a meeting. I chose not to mother him any longer ... and he chose to get clean ... the two are not connected.
So now he is stronger ... a man i can respect ... but regretfully i've now found that although he's a better person, he's not the man i need.
And vanilla sex is still fun but I do seem to find myself taking the Top ... directing and suggesting and occassionally demanding. And constantly in the back of my mind is the One i have not seen. Who one day will own me.
WynEternal
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Richard49 said:
WillowPuss
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Richard49 said:
No.
I do not need to, and I don't think I could now, even if I O/our current relationship ended.
MissTaken
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Richard49 said:
Yes, Richard,
After my first RT relationship, I tried for several months to forget that need for BDSM. As you may or may not recall, a moment of enlightenment occurred when I was with a "vanilla" lover and was begging him to do things to me that I had only previously experienced in BDSM.
It took about three months for me to recognize my needs and return to BDSM. I felt unsettled and lonely without D/s. Even when single and not involved, but embracing my submission, the loneliness and unrest is far less than when denying my submissive nature.
I do enjoy sex without BDSM, but must have an opportunity for submission. Once accepting this as part of me, my desires and needs, and finding comfort in that, as opposed to personal conflict, I find that the more I have, the more I want.
WynEternal
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As Eb has said, the skin-to-skin can be quite addicting. (or something to that effect I hope.) I miss it.
WynEternal
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MissTaken said:Addicting?
Yes!
For me, the mental electricity combined with the floating, almost hypnotic head space is what I crave most.
I'm not sure what it is I crave the most. I miss the play, but there's something else that I miss. And I'm having a hard time putting words to it.
lark sparrow
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1) Did you try to go back to vanilla? No.
2) Were you successful? Not applicable.
3) Did you life feel "right" without it? No.
4) How long did it take you to go back to BDSM? Never left.
The closest I came was with someone who was quite kinky/toppy sexually, aware and openly into BDSM, but she didn't have an interest in a structured D/s relationship (I ultimately wanted fulltime D/s). I dated her four months. She was a wonderful sadist, and very creative top - so although outside of sexuality it was fairly 'nilla in terms of power structure, our sexual energy was very high and not limited to the bedroom - it kind of took on a life of it's own in semi-exhibitionistic and covert or overt public play forms as well.
Okay, we were going at it like bunnies for months straight, but it was definitely kinky!
2) Were you successful? Not applicable.
3) Did you life feel "right" without it? No.
4) How long did it take you to go back to BDSM? Never left.
The closest I came was with someone who was quite kinky/toppy sexually, aware and openly into BDSM, but she didn't have an interest in a structured D/s relationship (I ultimately wanted fulltime D/s). I dated her four months. She was a wonderful sadist, and very creative top - so although outside of sexuality it was fairly 'nilla in terms of power structure, our sexual energy was very high and not limited to the bedroom - it kind of took on a life of it's own in semi-exhibitionistic and covert or overt public play forms as well.
Okay, we were going at it like bunnies for months straight, but it was definitely kinky!
Richard49
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MissTaken said:Thanks, Richard for the thread.
IT is good to know that some of my experiences and inner conflict were not exclusive to me.
And who knows?
It could happen again, I suppose.
Or not?
Your welcome
However this thread is for me
Don't ask
bunny bondage
just cruisin' through
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i dunno what RT means, but i'm a submissive, so i'm posting here!
i could never "leave" bdsm any more than i could "leave" my right leg. it's just a part of me, i can't change it, and if i could, i wouldn't want to!
i could never "leave" bdsm any more than i could "leave" my right leg. it's just a part of me, i can't change it, and if i could, i wouldn't want to!
MystiqDrgn
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Richard49 said:
Excelent question Richard. I don't see myself as a submissive but rather a slave. And yes I have my own definition of such. Having a vanilla/kinky relationship is the furthest I have strayed. Ownership is the ultimate feeling. I'd be lost without it and have felt what it is like to be without it. Although I never was without BDSM, being without a "true" owner is not at all pleasant.
Thank you again for a great topic.
~M~
WynEternal
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Re: Re: To Experenced RT submissives and those that know them
I think that is one of the things I miss the most in my current life; Ownership. Going from slave to vanilla was a big leap and although hub is into the kink, there's a lack of feeling I had prior.
Do I need a Master or Mistress in my life to make it whole? Probably not, but sometimes, there's that sense of longing and void.
MystiqDrgn said:
I think that is one of the things I miss the most in my current life; Ownership. Going from slave to vanilla was a big leap and although hub is into the kink, there's a lack of feeling I had prior.
Do I need a Master or Mistress in my life to make it whole? Probably not, but sometimes, there's that sense of longing and void.
pierced_boy
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Miss T There is nothing quite as good as a Saturday morning bump
Followed by some rope tied to limbs and and long slow leather caress session
Sorry the xxxxpression made me laugh Miss T. What are you doing next Saturday? Need some bump and stuff
H
and on topic
We blend D/s sexuality with conventional stuff to suit our moods and our circumstances. It would be great to be kinky/perverted all the time but that is just not possible. Is that an answer Richard?
Harry
MissTaken said:
Followed by some rope tied to limbs and and long slow leather caress session
Sorry the xxxxpression made me laugh Miss T. What are you doing next Saturday? Need some bump and stuff
H
and on topic
We blend D/s sexuality with conventional stuff to suit our moods and our circumstances. It would be great to be kinky/perverted all the time but that is just not possible. Is that an answer Richard?
Harry
AnelizeDarkEyes
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Richard49 said:
My life since I "found" RT BDSM has always been a mix of the two, both vanilla and BDSM. D/s started in the bedroom for me, and has pretty much stayed there, with some exceptions. I have grown in my submission, of course, as time has gone on.
After that first significant relationship that introduced me to BDSM ended, I didn't try to go back to vanilla. After about 6 months, I was very fortunate to be supported in a non-BDSM poly relationship by a wonderful married couple as I sought further training from a Dominant. I learned alot about myself from that short relationship.
I don't feel "right" without some form of BDSM in my life. My vanilla relationships comfort me, and are soothing, and constitute the "family" portion of my life. They do not relieve the frustration or the need that I have to submit in any way, shape, or form. I enjoy doing service in the home, in addition to sexual service, and wonder where this will put me someday, if it will put me anywhere. I have many questions to ask myself, yet, about where this thing, my submission, will take me.
What I do know, however, is that it does take two to tango, to use a well-worn cliche'.
~anelize
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WynEternal
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*sigh* Right now, I think I'm missing that feeling of "ownership." Although my dominant side has started coming out more, probably to balance my need of submitting. But even while trying to be dominant, I seem to be getting topped from the bottom, so to speak.
Richard49
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WynEternal said:
I know I am missing that feeling of owning/doming
The few days R was back last week
week before I guess
hell I have lost track of time
anyway
the few days she was back taught me much about me
I think I have posted it in my thread
Richard49 said:
I was in a mild form of a BDSM relationship years ago, and after getting out of that bad relationship, I had no desire to get involved with someone who was vanilla. In my searches of finding that special someone the couple years since I was always looking for someone that had BDSM interests, and a Dom.
I've been wonderfully lucky enough to finally find that person.
I couldn't imagine being in a vanilla relationship now. In answer to #3, I really don't believe that my life would feel right or complete without it.
