Thread deleted

[Jaws82]

Lol why

Cock

 

[kreemi_pi]

You can ride a horse to water but a camel must be toed.

 

[kreemi_pi]

That one was a lottle weaker, would it be better to do why did the chicken cross the road, to get some cock

No, that's why did the hen cross the road. I thought i did that one before

 

[Him15]

No, that's why did the hen cross the road. I thought i did that one before

Fair point I stand corrected

 

[kreemi_pi]

Why did the economist cross the road?

 

[kreemi_pi]

Because of market forces.

 

[kreemi_pi]

Why do lady economists wear garter belts?

 

[kreemi_pi]

Because their stockings become inelastic.

 

[Him15]

In fairness I've met some female economists I'd like to see in a garter belt

 

[Jonnymc]

Nah, its rude to talk with your mouth full

Mm no not in the Way I am going to make it squirt pulses from the pump and I love it too much how much I need to talk to the tip of her pussy lips and tight little plugged holes, I love how a pussy reacts to my mouth and my tongue and the nice dick 7and and half inches long as I grab me one orgasms for her and I really don't stop until she begged me to come in the pussy lips and she screeched her legs around my neck and I really need you to get my drift

 

[Him15]

Sorry I'd like to but fell asleep on the 3rd adjective

 

[TheWorldBuilder]

Did anyone manage to take a breath?

 

[Him15]

Did anyone manage to take a breath?

*turns blue then purple...then very white*

 

[TheWorldBuilder]

Why did the dormouse cross the road?

It was stapled to the beak of the chicken.

 

[kreemi_pi]

Why did the lady firefighter have to change clothes before her date?

Her stockings were laddered.

 

[kreemi_pi]

Why did the lady firefighter have to change clothes before her date?

Her stockings were laddered.

B) her date outfit was smokin' hot. Her work clothes were just smoking.

 

[kreemi_pi]

Why did the lady firefighter have to change clothes before her date?

Her stockings were laddered.

C) something something hose

 

[Baztrachian]

Russian jokes to follow...

 

[Baztrachian]

Putin dies and goes to hell, but after a while, he is given a day off for good behavior.

So he goes to Moscow, enters a bar, orders a drink, and asks the bartender:

-Is Crimea ours?

-Yes, it is.

-And the Donbas?

-Also ours.

-And Kyiv?

-We got that too.

Satisfied, Putin drinks, and asks:

-Thanks, how much do I owe you?

-5 euros.

 

[Baztrachian]

A Russian walks into a bar. Bartender asks "what is it like to live in Russia"? Russian answers "I cannot complain".

 

[Baztrachian]

A man is on a street corner in Moscow yelling “The president is an idiot!“

Police surround him and handcuff him. They say, “It is illegal to insult President Putin”

He says “You don’t understand! I mean the Ukrainian president, Zelensky. He is the one I was insulting!“

The police captain says, “You can’t fool us. Everyone knows who the idiot is.”

 

[Baztrachian]

Vladimir Putin was being briefed by one of his top generals.

"I've good news and bad news for you this morning, sir."

"Let's hear the good news," Putin replied.

"Intelligence reports indicate that the latest additions to the Ukrainian arsenal are damaged and outdated, and many won't pose any threat to us at all."

"That's excellent! Finally, things might be starting to turn our way! What's the bad news?"

The general shifted in his seat and looked down at the table. "A large amount of our best weapons and munitions have just been captured, sir."

 

[Baztrachian]

Vladimir Putin arrives at the airport in Poland and gets in line at customs desk.

Polish Customs officer: Occupation?

Putin: No, just visiting.

 

[Baztrachian]

Stalin's ghost appears to Putin in a dream, and Putin asks for his help running the country.

Stalin says "Round up and shoot all the democrats, and then paint the inside of the Kremlin blue."

"Why blue?" Putin asks.

"Ha!" says Stalin. "I knew you wouldn't ask me about the first part."

 

[Baztrachian]

Q: What's the difference between Putin and Hitler?

A: Hitler knew when to kill himself