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Thin man here

Mmm... hunky, hairy men... :heart:


LS, if you haven't discovered Colby Keller or Cocky Boys, you need to.

You can thank me after you finish fapping. :cool:
 
I've considered this matter very carefully, H.
As a very dear friend, I feel that it falls to me to tell you the truth. In love and with deep respect of course:

The only way you can lose weight is ... less sex. I mean, much less sex.

Here's the problem: You have far too easy access to a most adorable woman, and your skills in the bedroom department [well, living room, shower, kitchen,hotel rooms all over Europe etc but you know what I mean] - your skills have resulted in an ability to get this adorable woman into a state of multiple orgasmic bliss without you burning anything like as many calories as guys in general - thin guys like me - do.

But the terrible truth is this: you can't go back on being a fucking sexpert. The only solution is abstinence. But don't despair: your periods of celibacy won't need to be too long. A couple on months? and then after a three day period of relief and release another three months? I promise you my friend: that way, the angst and frustration and pacing the floor through the nights will result in ... at least three pounds of weight loss. You'll feel so, so much more like the man I know you want to become.

Sincerely, Simon.
 
I really have had enough of this stranger without trousers, gals. Here's someone thin we at least know:

attachment.php
 
suckonsimon said:
I've considered this matter very carefully, H.
As a very dear friend, I feel that it falls to me to tell you the truth. In love and with deep respect of course:

The only way you can lose weight is ... less sex. I mean, much less sex.

Here's the problem: You have far too easy access to a most adorable woman, and your skills in the bedroom department [well, living room, shower, kitchen,hotel rooms all over Europe etc but you know what I mean] - your skills have resulted in an ability to get this adorable woman into a state of multiple orgasmic bliss without you burning anything like as many calories as guys in general - thin guys like me - do.

But the terrible truth is this: you can't go back on being a fucking sexpert. The only solution is abstinence. But don't despair: your periods of celibacy won't need to be too long. A couple on months? and then after a three day period of relief and release another three months? I promise you my friend: that way, the angst and frustration and pacing the floor through the nights will result in ... at least three pounds of weight loss. You'll feel so, so much more like the man I know you want to become.

Sincerely, Simon.
Click to expand...

Dear Simon,

I can see that your motives here are entirely altruistic. However your evangelism on the subject of thinness troubles me. You see, Simon, a man can become so painfully thin that the only way he can prevent himself from floating away is to wear several lead cock rings. I suspect, dear friend, that this is the predicament in which you find yourself. Indeed the evidence from the picture you posted in this very thread shows that you have been forced to wear at least 12 such devices.

As a friend, I can only suggest that you abstain from sex for 4 (four) months, and embark on a course of burger eating. This will enable you to achieve a more sensible weight, and thus to reduce the required number of cock-rings, to, say, four or five.

If it helps I can recommend CRA - Cock Rings Anonymous. Their twelve step programme consists of reducing your cock rings while acknowledging the existence of a higher power, namely the Flying Spaghetti Monster (All praise his noodly appendages).

Please accept this offer of help in the spirit of friendship.

Yours ever,

The Thin Man ;)
 
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