Colleen Thomas
Ultrafemme
- Joined
- Feb 11, 2002
- Posts
- 21,545
Go get em dita 
-Colly
-Colly
The Worst Chain Story Ever
- Thread starter Svenskaflicka
- Start date
G
Guest
Guest
Svenska, I have an idea for a chapter in this story. Can I participate??
damppanties
Tinkle, twinkle
- Joined
- May 7, 2002
- Posts
- 16,276
CrimsonMaiden said:
Hehe you don't ask. You tell her which category it is, bully her into including you in the list and write it.
G
Guest
Guest
damppanties said:Hehe you don't ask. You tell her which category it is, bully her into including you in the list and write it.
LOL, ok.
Category would be Toys. I'm going to write this story and you're going to add me to the list. Right??
(Svenska, why do you have a frying pan in your hand? You're not going to hit me with that are you? Svenska?? Hey now, get away from me with that. I was only doing what DP told me to do. It's her fault. Chase her with that pan!!)
Svenskaflicka
Fountain
- Joined
- Jun 9, 2002
- Posts
- 16,142
G
Guest
Guest
OUCH!
Svenskaflicka
Fountain
- Joined
- Jun 9, 2002
- Posts
- 16,142
Well, yes, you may do a Toystory, Crim! But Perdy's ahead in line, replacing Chicklet. After P, we have DurtGurl, doing an incest story, if she's still up for it, so you'd be number 6, is that OK?
G
Guest
Guest
That's fine with me. I'll keep checking back to see when it is my turn.
G
Guest
Guest
Submitted Chapter 4 (with consultation and permission from Svenska). I looked at the other three and they are all listed as "Satire" under "Chain Story". So you can make of mine whatever category you will.
Durt and Crimson, the runway is cleared.
Perdita
Durt and Crimson, the runway is cleared.
Perdita
Svenskaflicka
Fountain
- Joined
- Jun 9, 2002
- Posts
- 16,142
When it rains, it pours, huh, ogg?
oggbashan
Dying Truth seeker
- Joined
- Jul 3, 2002
- Posts
- 56,017
I am delighted that I am free from the opprobium of writing the only chapter of a chain story titled "The Worst".
I think the other contributors might have been well advised to include the warning about content that I used at the start of my part. Some readers might think that their chapter has a serious intent. I attribute the relatively high rating that my chapter has reached to the inclusion of the warning. I hope it deters those who might be offended.
Og
I think the other contributors might have been well advised to include the warning about content that I used at the start of my part. Some readers might think that their chapter has a serious intent. I attribute the relatively high rating that my chapter has reached to the inclusion of the warning. I hope it deters those who might be offended.
Og
Svenskaflicka
Fountain
- Joined
- Jun 9, 2002
- Posts
- 16,142
Actually, since I'm number 2, I just hope that your warning will carry on throughout the rest of the chain.
It DOES say "satire" in the tagline.
It DOES say "satire" in the tagline.
G
Guest
Guest
Does anyone know if DurtGurl is aware that it is her turn?
Svenskaflicka
Fountain
- Joined
- Jun 9, 2002
- Posts
- 16,142
She's just been informed. We'll se what she says.
G
Guest
Guest
re. the warning
Now you tell me, Ogg. I'm not going to resubmit as I seem to have finally caught that virus that makes me want the thing up before Maths can deliver her "answer".
xarumftl, Perdita
Now you tell me, Ogg. I'm not going to resubmit as I seem to have finally caught that virus that makes me want the thing up before Maths can deliver her "answer".
xarumftl, Perdita
G
Guest
Guest
Yep, she's up next.
G
Guest
Guest
Dear Maths,MathGirl said:
Might I inquire as to how you go about that task? Can you tell us, politely enough, in public?
respecfully,
Perdita
DurtGurl
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Apr 10, 2003
- Posts
- 174
Yo
I'm not sure this is a chain story. Mebbe a chain saw story.
DG
ME AND MOM
by DurtGurl
I'd never thought about incest until the day I turned 18. Before that, of course, I didn't do anything sexual, because kids under 18 don't do that kind of stuff or even think about it. Back then, I had a 9 and 1/2 inch cock, and a lot of pubic hair. It was more as I got older. My dad traveled a lot because he was a traveling salesman and they tend to do that, so my brother and I were often alone with our mom for a week at a time. Mom was nothing extraordinary: stringy brown hair, quite a bit overweight, thick glasses, and very small breasts that were nonetheless quite saggy. She had a fairly nice moustache, though, and a large mole on her chin with three hairs growing from it.
On my 18th birthday my mom sent my brother to school which really wasn't necessary because he was going anyway since he was the best student our family had ever had and was proud of his 2.05 grade point average in shop and business classes. He could even use an adding machine, and we were all very proud of him. Mom let me stay home because I had been expelled for beating my meat in the cafeteria and there wasn't much to loose since the school wouldn't let me in even if I showed up. Also she wanted me to open my 18th birthday presents early although it really wasn't.
When I got to the last present, Mom went upstairs to shower because she hadn't had one since my brother's 18th birthday about a month before. Yeah, I always wondered about that, too. The last gift was just a little card. I opened it and it said, "To My Son, Happy Birthday!!!!!, Love Mom." But at the very bottom, it said, "Run up to my bathroom for your BIG present!" It looked suspiciously like a Xerox copy, but I was too excited to inspect it very closely.
I was so excited I was in the bathroom with a 9 and 1/2 inch boner and lots of pubic hair in a matter of seconds.
She peeked out coyly from behind the curtain and told me not to be nervous and to take off my cloths. I did as she said. As my pants came down my cock flopped out, <i>boiinnnggg.</i> She asked me to join her in the shower, and my cock shot up instantly and bobbed up and down up and down up and down. I stepped into the shower and saw her big, beautiful bush. It was thick, dripping wet, and a real pelt. Mom was solid hair from her belly button almost to her knees. It was the most harioust thing I had ever seen in my life. I reached out to touch it and she said, "Not yet," and playfully slapped my hand away with the bunion chisel she always kept handy in the shower.
Her face came closer and closer until she kissed me deeply with her mouth. Her breath was like warm spoiled herring, but I was so excited I didn't care. I reciprocated, our tongues entwining as my hoarmones rummaged around all over the place. Then with her lips, she traced down my body until she arrived at my rock hard 9 and 1/2 inch cock sticking out of my thick pubic hair and bobbing ... well, you know.
She grasped my throbbing dick and pulled the fourskin back. The smegma under there was like mustard on a hot dog. I put my hands on the back of her head and guided it until her lips touched the tip of my cock. I guess it must have been the smell or taste, because Mom turned her head, gagged convulsively, then vomited loudly and voluminously onto the floor of the shower. Her large breakfast of biscuits and gravy, oatmeal, home fries, and scrambled eggs smothered in catsup and guaccamolley made interesting patterns as the shower spray herded it towards the drain and down.
When she was empty, Mom shook her head to clear it, wrinkled her nose, and said, "Jesus H. Christ, Ronald, how long's it been since you warshed that thing?"
I was pretty embarrassed, because my last shower had been after gym at school. I'd been expelled five weeks before.
She said, "Wait right there and don't move." I didn't. Move, that is.
Mom got out of the shower and rummaged around in the cabinet under the bathroom sink. When she rejoined me, she was carrying a can of Ajax Industrial Strength Cleanser and the wire brush she used on her corns. In only ten or fifteen minutes of brisk labor, she had my 9 and 1/2 inch cock shiny clean and almost as good as new.
She wrapped her lips around my stiff rod, which was 2 inches thick at the time and still the aforementioned length. I was in heaven. She sucked my cock in and out in and out, stopping only occasionally to sneeze because my thick public hair tickled her nose. Wow I thought. What a birthday present and from my own Mom who really isn't that much of a dog.
When I knowed I wasn't going to be able to hold back much longer I said, "Mom, I'm about to shoot my jizzm." I guess she didn't want me to, because she bit my dick really hard and whacked my right nut briskly with her chisel. It was a very versatile tool. Needless to say, that cooled my ardour a little, but at least I didn't go off like the aurora borealis as I thought I was going to do.
Then she left the shower, drying every part of herself except her bush and ass which she had only rinsed. She went downstairs and I followed with my dick leading the way. She stopped in the dining room. Slowly, she bent onto the dinner table, her chest resting on its surface.
She told me to put my cock into her pussey from the rear in back. I was excited by the idea but at the same time hesitant because there was no sign of a pussey back there. All I could see was hair which covered her from the small of her back halfway to her knees.
I stuck my dick in there somewhere in the middle, though, and rummaged around until I eventually found a spot that wasn't hair. I figured that had to be pussey. As I put it in, Mom moaned in pleasure. There was a <i>PrBBrrrrrAFlummmmppppppp</i> sound as the air was forced out of her pussey. An aroma that reminded me of the time our cocker spaniel fell into the septic tank wafted to my sensitive nostrils and caused my eyes to water.
I grabbed her hips and began to pump myself in and out of her. I was enjoying myself, even though my eyes were burning. Even more I was enjoying her moans of pleasure as I went deeper with each thrust.
Mom must have cummed seven or 8 times, and it was all I could to to keep from going off like a roaming candle.
Just as I thought I was going to shoot my jizzm, she said, "Let's to out to the patio, dear. It's getting a little ... close in here."
Well I didn't have to be told more than once, and we marched outside with my 9 and 1/2 inch dick leading the way.
She draped herself over a railing near the pool and told me to take up where I had left off before which was in the house. Finding her pussey was easier this time, and when I plunged my dick into her there was a <i>BrrrrrtttFlumppppp</i> noise and a not unpleasant odor reminiscent of mildewed carpet.
I plunged in and out of her pussey until she had three or 4 more orgasms, and I was getting to the point where I thought I was going to go off like a hanger nade.
Just when I thought I was going to spew my seed, I got a bright idea. I pulled the entire slimy length of my 9 and 1/2 inch love muscle out of her pussey and started poking around in that mass of hair, trying to find her ass hole.
When I finally found something that didn't feel like hair or pussey, I figured that must be puckered portal to her rectam. I put the tip of my throbbing manhood at the entrance and pushed hard.
Mom yelled, "No! Not there! I've got bad hemorrhoids, and besides, I haven't had my morning ...... <i>AIIEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!"</i>
I was not to be denied, and I slammed the entire 9 and 1/2 inches of my boner into her tender butt hole, and mom was all like, <i>"UNNGGggghhhhhhhhhhhh" and "WoooWoooWooo."</i>
After a couple minutes of hard pounding from me and frantic hollering from Mom, I knew I couldn't hold back my jizzm any longer. Just at that moment, Mom yelled, <i>"Ohhhhh, My God, I'm gonna ..........."</i>
I thought she meant that she was going to cum, but I was wrong. Boy, was I ever <i>wrong.</i> I felt an intense pressure inside Mom's rectim, which was tightly plugged by my penis, and I knew something was going to give. Well, something did give, and it was me!
I was forcibly expelled from Mom's backside, and I ended up in a sitting position with my hardon still hard, staring at her hairy butt with something horrible about to happen in the middle of it. I closed my eyes and mouth just in time, and there was an awful, wet <i>"BrrtFluuuuumppppaaFlummmpaPloppp"</i> sound.
Well, suffice it to say that it was the worst experience of my life and not at all what I had expected as a eighteenth birthday gift.
When it was over, I crawled over to the edge of the pool and tumbled headfirst into the deep end. When I finally surfaced, Mom was using the hose to wash the effluent off the concrete into the pool. I quickly headed for the extreme other end. After Mom finished hoasing off herself and the patio, she dissapeared into the house.
I sat there in the shallow end of the pool, thinking about how a wonderful birthday surprise had ended in such tragedy. I couldn't blame Mom, because she had only good intentions, and her heart was in the right place. It was just terribly, terribly unfortunate timing. About then, the overloded pool filtration unit gave a strangeled <i>"weemp"</i> and shut down. I headed into the house to call the pool service.
Mom and I didn't have much to say to each other, and we pretended we werent' home when the pool service guy came. We could hear his muttering and curses, though, while he used a net and vacume to tend to the pool. I watched through a hole in the curtain as he carried the old filter out to his truck on the end of a long pole.
That bitter expereince changed my life. The next day, I packed my meager belongings, bid my family ado, and left home, never to return. Within a few days, I had found what I considered the ideal life for a young man of my expereince and abillities. I became a monk. Since that time I have lived a life of quiet contemplation in a comunity of brother's located in a desert wilderness. We are simple shepherds, live a spartan life, and eat a diet consisting entirely of root vegetables.
POSTSCRIPT
All that, of course, was many years ago, and we've all passed a lot of water since then. I've lived the simple monastic life for all this time, and now I'm the Abbott of our order, mainly through simple longevity. One of the nice things about my order is that monks are encouraged to marry. This may seem unusual to the layman, but it works well for us.
As have most of my brothers, I've outlived several wives. Strange how that happens. I loved each of them deeply, though, and we shared good lives together. Well, it's time for this old man to go to bed. My fourth wife hates to bed down alone, and I always try my best to please my beloved Ewegenia.
_________________________________
Everyone over 18, of course, except the sheep
I'm not sure this is a chain story. Mebbe a chain saw story.
DG
ME AND MOM
by DurtGurl
I'd never thought about incest until the day I turned 18. Before that, of course, I didn't do anything sexual, because kids under 18 don't do that kind of stuff or even think about it. Back then, I had a 9 and 1/2 inch cock, and a lot of pubic hair. It was more as I got older. My dad traveled a lot because he was a traveling salesman and they tend to do that, so my brother and I were often alone with our mom for a week at a time. Mom was nothing extraordinary: stringy brown hair, quite a bit overweight, thick glasses, and very small breasts that were nonetheless quite saggy. She had a fairly nice moustache, though, and a large mole on her chin with three hairs growing from it.
On my 18th birthday my mom sent my brother to school which really wasn't necessary because he was going anyway since he was the best student our family had ever had and was proud of his 2.05 grade point average in shop and business classes. He could even use an adding machine, and we were all very proud of him. Mom let me stay home because I had been expelled for beating my meat in the cafeteria and there wasn't much to loose since the school wouldn't let me in even if I showed up. Also she wanted me to open my 18th birthday presents early although it really wasn't.
When I got to the last present, Mom went upstairs to shower because she hadn't had one since my brother's 18th birthday about a month before. Yeah, I always wondered about that, too. The last gift was just a little card. I opened it and it said, "To My Son, Happy Birthday!!!!!, Love Mom." But at the very bottom, it said, "Run up to my bathroom for your BIG present!" It looked suspiciously like a Xerox copy, but I was too excited to inspect it very closely.
I was so excited I was in the bathroom with a 9 and 1/2 inch boner and lots of pubic hair in a matter of seconds.
She peeked out coyly from behind the curtain and told me not to be nervous and to take off my cloths. I did as she said. As my pants came down my cock flopped out, <i>boiinnnggg.</i> She asked me to join her in the shower, and my cock shot up instantly and bobbed up and down up and down up and down. I stepped into the shower and saw her big, beautiful bush. It was thick, dripping wet, and a real pelt. Mom was solid hair from her belly button almost to her knees. It was the most harioust thing I had ever seen in my life. I reached out to touch it and she said, "Not yet," and playfully slapped my hand away with the bunion chisel she always kept handy in the shower.
Her face came closer and closer until she kissed me deeply with her mouth. Her breath was like warm spoiled herring, but I was so excited I didn't care. I reciprocated, our tongues entwining as my hoarmones rummaged around all over the place. Then with her lips, she traced down my body until she arrived at my rock hard 9 and 1/2 inch cock sticking out of my thick pubic hair and bobbing ... well, you know.
She grasped my throbbing dick and pulled the fourskin back. The smegma under there was like mustard on a hot dog. I put my hands on the back of her head and guided it until her lips touched the tip of my cock. I guess it must have been the smell or taste, because Mom turned her head, gagged convulsively, then vomited loudly and voluminously onto the floor of the shower. Her large breakfast of biscuits and gravy, oatmeal, home fries, and scrambled eggs smothered in catsup and guaccamolley made interesting patterns as the shower spray herded it towards the drain and down.
When she was empty, Mom shook her head to clear it, wrinkled her nose, and said, "Jesus H. Christ, Ronald, how long's it been since you warshed that thing?"
I was pretty embarrassed, because my last shower had been after gym at school. I'd been expelled five weeks before.
She said, "Wait right there and don't move." I didn't. Move, that is.
Mom got out of the shower and rummaged around in the cabinet under the bathroom sink. When she rejoined me, she was carrying a can of Ajax Industrial Strength Cleanser and the wire brush she used on her corns. In only ten or fifteen minutes of brisk labor, she had my 9 and 1/2 inch cock shiny clean and almost as good as new.
She wrapped her lips around my stiff rod, which was 2 inches thick at the time and still the aforementioned length. I was in heaven. She sucked my cock in and out in and out, stopping only occasionally to sneeze because my thick public hair tickled her nose. Wow I thought. What a birthday present and from my own Mom who really isn't that much of a dog.
When I knowed I wasn't going to be able to hold back much longer I said, "Mom, I'm about to shoot my jizzm." I guess she didn't want me to, because she bit my dick really hard and whacked my right nut briskly with her chisel. It was a very versatile tool. Needless to say, that cooled my ardour a little, but at least I didn't go off like the aurora borealis as I thought I was going to do.
Then she left the shower, drying every part of herself except her bush and ass which she had only rinsed. She went downstairs and I followed with my dick leading the way. She stopped in the dining room. Slowly, she bent onto the dinner table, her chest resting on its surface.
She told me to put my cock into her pussey from the rear in back. I was excited by the idea but at the same time hesitant because there was no sign of a pussey back there. All I could see was hair which covered her from the small of her back halfway to her knees.
I stuck my dick in there somewhere in the middle, though, and rummaged around until I eventually found a spot that wasn't hair. I figured that had to be pussey. As I put it in, Mom moaned in pleasure. There was a <i>PrBBrrrrrAFlummmmppppppp</i> sound as the air was forced out of her pussey. An aroma that reminded me of the time our cocker spaniel fell into the septic tank wafted to my sensitive nostrils and caused my eyes to water.
I grabbed her hips and began to pump myself in and out of her. I was enjoying myself, even though my eyes were burning. Even more I was enjoying her moans of pleasure as I went deeper with each thrust.
Mom must have cummed seven or 8 times, and it was all I could to to keep from going off like a roaming candle.
Just as I thought I was going to shoot my jizzm, she said, "Let's to out to the patio, dear. It's getting a little ... close in here."
Well I didn't have to be told more than once, and we marched outside with my 9 and 1/2 inch dick leading the way.
She draped herself over a railing near the pool and told me to take up where I had left off before which was in the house. Finding her pussey was easier this time, and when I plunged my dick into her there was a <i>BrrrrrtttFlumppppp</i> noise and a not unpleasant odor reminiscent of mildewed carpet.
I plunged in and out of her pussey until she had three or 4 more orgasms, and I was getting to the point where I thought I was going to go off like a hanger nade.
Just when I thought I was going to spew my seed, I got a bright idea. I pulled the entire slimy length of my 9 and 1/2 inch love muscle out of her pussey and started poking around in that mass of hair, trying to find her ass hole.
When I finally found something that didn't feel like hair or pussey, I figured that must be puckered portal to her rectam. I put the tip of my throbbing manhood at the entrance and pushed hard.
Mom yelled, "No! Not there! I've got bad hemorrhoids, and besides, I haven't had my morning ...... <i>AIIEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!"</i>
I was not to be denied, and I slammed the entire 9 and 1/2 inches of my boner into her tender butt hole, and mom was all like, <i>"UNNGGggghhhhhhhhhhhh" and "WoooWoooWooo."</i>
After a couple minutes of hard pounding from me and frantic hollering from Mom, I knew I couldn't hold back my jizzm any longer. Just at that moment, Mom yelled, <i>"Ohhhhh, My God, I'm gonna ..........."</i>
I thought she meant that she was going to cum, but I was wrong. Boy, was I ever <i>wrong.</i> I felt an intense pressure inside Mom's rectim, which was tightly plugged by my penis, and I knew something was going to give. Well, something did give, and it was me!
I was forcibly expelled from Mom's backside, and I ended up in a sitting position with my hardon still hard, staring at her hairy butt with something horrible about to happen in the middle of it. I closed my eyes and mouth just in time, and there was an awful, wet <i>"BrrtFluuuuumppppaaFlummmpaPloppp"</i> sound.
Well, suffice it to say that it was the worst experience of my life and not at all what I had expected as a eighteenth birthday gift.
When it was over, I crawled over to the edge of the pool and tumbled headfirst into the deep end. When I finally surfaced, Mom was using the hose to wash the effluent off the concrete into the pool. I quickly headed for the extreme other end. After Mom finished hoasing off herself and the patio, she dissapeared into the house.
I sat there in the shallow end of the pool, thinking about how a wonderful birthday surprise had ended in such tragedy. I couldn't blame Mom, because she had only good intentions, and her heart was in the right place. It was just terribly, terribly unfortunate timing. About then, the overloded pool filtration unit gave a strangeled <i>"weemp"</i> and shut down. I headed into the house to call the pool service.
Mom and I didn't have much to say to each other, and we pretended we werent' home when the pool service guy came. We could hear his muttering and curses, though, while he used a net and vacume to tend to the pool. I watched through a hole in the curtain as he carried the old filter out to his truck on the end of a long pole.
That bitter expereince changed my life. The next day, I packed my meager belongings, bid my family ado, and left home, never to return. Within a few days, I had found what I considered the ideal life for a young man of my expereince and abillities. I became a monk. Since that time I have lived a life of quiet contemplation in a comunity of brother's located in a desert wilderness. We are simple shepherds, live a spartan life, and eat a diet consisting entirely of root vegetables.
POSTSCRIPT
All that, of course, was many years ago, and we've all passed a lot of water since then. I've lived the simple monastic life for all this time, and now I'm the Abbott of our order, mainly through simple longevity. One of the nice things about my order is that monks are encouraged to marry. This may seem unusual to the layman, but it works well for us.
As have most of my brothers, I've outlived several wives. Strange how that happens. I loved each of them deeply, though, and we shared good lives together. Well, it's time for this old man to go to bed. My fourth wife hates to bed down alone, and I always try my best to please my beloved Ewegenia.
_________________________________
Everyone over 18, of course, except the sheep
Last edited:
Svenskaflicka
Fountain
- Joined
- Jun 9, 2002
- Posts
- 16,142
NIce, DurtGurl, but in order for it to be a Chain Story, it must somehow involve our lead character, Magdalena Shaw. You can find links to the first 3 stories about her in ogg's link.
MathGirl
Cogito
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2002
- Posts
- 5,825
Dear Svenska,Svenskaflicka said:
Sorry, I haven't been keeping up. I didn't even have time to format DG's stupid story. I'll delete it.
Now that I'm a full time lexicographer, I dont' seem to have time for other things.
MG, Secretary
Ps. Damn! DG submitted it, so I can't delete it. She's off somewhere drunk again, so we're stuck with it.
Svenskaflicka
Fountain
- Joined
- Jun 9, 2002
- Posts
- 16,142
Could you PM LAurel on her behalf, and ask to throw in Magdalena's name..?
Or maybe this is actually a good thing? What could be worse than a chapter that has nothing to do with the rest of the story?
What do you say, Others?
Or maybe this is actually a good thing? What could be worse than a chapter that has nothing to do with the rest of the story?
What do you say, Others?
G
Guest
Guest
I say it's fine. It's supposed to be the "worst" chain story so why not have one of the links be totally off the wall.
Perdita (can't believe I'm defending DurtGal)
(my story has 10 views, none of them mine, I'm fighting asking The ?)
Perdita (can't believe I'm defending DurtGal)
(my story has 10 views, none of them mine, I'm fighting asking The ?)
oggbashan
Dying Truth seeker
- Joined
- Jul 3, 2002
- Posts
- 56,017
perdita said:
I agree. One part of the chain that is totally irrelevant seems ideal for the "worst" as long as we don't make a habit of it. I had irrelevant stories in my chapter. An irrelevant chapter, particularly by DurtGurl, adds je ne sais quoi (and if I did, I wouldn't say).
Og
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