The walls we build

[MissTaken]

Whether it be vis a vis freindship or romantic involvement, many of us build walls.

We try to protect ourselves by only allowing others into our hearts and minds, just so far.

How might one let down these walls?

How might one tear down someone else's walls?

How do we let our history and baggage interfere with present time and how to learn to let go of the baggage?

I believe many of us here, have walls built of iron and mortar and find some solace in the community of anonymous posters.

Thoughts?

 

[A Desert Rose]

Whether it be vis a vis freindship or romantic involvement, many of us build walls.

We try to protect ourselves by only allowing others into our hearts and minds, just so far.

How might one let down these walls?

How might one tear down someone else's walls?

How do we let our history and baggage interfere with present time and how to learn to let go of the baggage?

I believe many of us here, have walls built of iron and mortar and find some solace in the community of anonymous posters.

Thoughts?

With all due respect my friend (and I mean that sincerely), why do you care? If someone has walled you or me or everyone else out, what can possibly be done to change that? Only the builder can remodel his/her wall and only then if he/she wants to.
Now, I have to go to work again soon. You have a nice day. ;-)

 

[Kitte]

So many build walls, secure in the fact no one will care enough to help them remove them, or patient enough to wait while they remodel. But sometimes when you get a peek through the cracks, you know that time is something we all have a fair bit of for the right person.

Then again...

 

[MissTaken]

Re: Re: The walls we build

With all due respect my friend (and I mean that sincerely), why do you care? If someone has walled you or me or everyone else out, what can possibly be done to change that? Only the builder can remodel his/her wall and only then if he/she wants to.
Now, I have to go to work again soon. You have a nice day. ;-)

*smirks*

Busted! I do care, too much sometimes.



Yes, but how would the builder do that?

How would I do that?

Hey, Rose...have a good one. <hugs>

 

[April]

I let my walls down with someone. It took about a year, and they weren't fully down. It was wonderful, but they're now firmly back up. Stronger than before, I think. But the glimpse of what's over the wall was...intriguing.

 

[Nathon_88]

Re: Re: Re: The walls we build

*smirks*

Busted! I do care, too much sometimes.



Yes, but how would the builder do that?

How would I do that?

Hey, Rose...have a good one. <hugs>

By allowing themselves to care for someone.....the walls collapse, for they are built of a mixture of apathy and angst.

 

[MissTaken]

So many build walls, secure in the fact no one will care enough to help them remove them, or patient enough to wait while they remodel. But sometimes when you get a peek through the cracks, you know that time is something we all have a fair bit of for the right person.

Then again...

It are the tiny shards of light that I see when I peek through the cracks that motivates me to continue.

However, I am not a patient woman!

Hey! This thread isn't about me...

really.

 

[Kitte]

It are the tiny shards of light that I see when I peek through the cracks that motivates me to continue.

However, I am not a patient woman!

Hey! This thread isn't about me...

really.

I am...*sigh*

 

[Nathon_88]

I am...*sigh*

*hugs* Welcome to the world of us.

On the bright side, at least there are a few of us....we can keep each other company.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Re: Re: Re: Re: The walls we build

By allowing themselves to care for someone.....the walls collapse, for they are built of a mixture of apathy and angst.

I am sorry, I was going back to work but......

Nathon's point is well taken and again it all depends on if the wall builder WANTS to let his/her wall down. It cannot be forced. If he/she is not interested in letting you in, it won't happen.

 

[MissTaken]

Stronger than before, I think. But the glimpse of what's over the wall was...intriguing.

Therein lies a problem.

Stronger than before?

Hmmm ......

Thanks, April!

 

[takingchances42]

Thought provoking and well written, MissTaken.

I don't know that I agree about the finding solace here part. If anything, spending a great deal of time on-line likely builds the real walls even higher (at least for me). We share, laugh, joke, get feedback and become involved as if the walls are lower -- but it is via computer keyboards and maybe a phone line. Meeting needs in an artifical format that gives the semblence, but not the substance. During my brief time as a regular in Lit, I did maintain an active RL social life, but was too distracted with interactions here, with people I had never met and would likely never meet. Now that I only stop by occasionally, the same energy and focus is once again finding much greater rewards in person -- and part of the reason why is that putting more energy and focus into friendships and relationships _does_ lower walls. Just my personal experience...

 

[MissTaken]

The solace is in reference to finding people to care how your day went, to flirt with, to maybe even carry on an on line relationship with and it is all anonymous.

It doesn't take down the barriers necessarily, but meets some of the needs that could and should be met in real life.

If we get the wrecking crew on site!



Great post and thank you, taking chances.

 

[ksmybuttons]

I don't think walls are necessarily a bad thing. We put them up for some type of protection. Something to keep ourselves warm, protected from the elements. I can put a door in so those I want to let in can come in. People can go around the wall. It doesn't need to be destroyed or broken. I think sometimes the walls make us stronger and more available.

When someone I care about has walls, I find that if I empathize, I can do more to enter the door than if I sympathize which just makes the wall more inpenetratable.

I like to think of my wallls as boundaries. They can be crossed and appended as I choose, not as someone else wants.

The harder someone pushes, the stronger they become.

 

[Batch]

Whether it be vis a vis freindship or romantic involvement, many of us build walls.

We try to protect ourselves by only allowing others into our hearts and minds, just so far.

How might one let down these walls?

How might one tear down someone else's walls?

How do we let our history and baggage interfere with present time and how to learn to let go of the baggage?

I believe many of us here, have walls built of iron and mortar and find some solace in the community of anonymous posters.

Thoughts?

No tearing down or destroying of someone's walls is needed...
patience
empathy
listening
talking
being a real person and not a flake
getting beuyond the personas

walls are need for protection
but there are gates

one can only gain entrance into another's sanctuary with their permission
Into their walled city so to paraphrase a good friend
sometimes there are many walls that you must be granted entrance through
before you are allowed to come into their house


The magic works or it doesn't
you be good, kind, loyal, trustworthy, able to give and be
honest
there is much risk

and you always must question the realness of this...
shrugging shoulders

 

[teddybear4play]

I wish I could say explicitly what my process of allowing people inside is, but I don't even know. It's something I do unconsciously. My heart tells me to do it.

It's only afterwards when I realize that me and the other person share that intimacy that I have with few other people.

TB4p

 

[Batch]

I wish I could say explicitly what my process of allowing people inside is, but I don't even know. It's something I do unconsciously. My heart tells me to do it.

It's only afterwards when I realize that me and the other person share that intimacy that I have with few other people.

TB4p

I wonder
are they saying the right words or is it because they have walls built for the same reasons and thus know
I winder how do we make that choice to trust
and allow someone entrance to our fortresses?
My heart
My heart
you said that well
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I like them.

 

[Pixie]

I used to be more open about my thoughts and feelings, then that openness became a rarity. Like a window that I would let someone peek through on occasion. After a while I put up shutters and finally just built up a thick wall to cover everything. I know it took a long time for me to build up my walls. So I don't think anyone can expect them to come down in an instant.

But somehow I was lucky to meet a person on the net who seems to have found a passageway through the walls. I find I still tend to close the door and shutters on occasion, but he is very patient with me. So far I haven't been hurt by him so I've no real need to keep my door locked.

 

[glamorilla]

i tend to push everyone away but it's easy to get under my skin.

you just have to know how.

 

[Batch]

I used to be more open about my thoughts and feelings, then that openness became a rarity. Like a window that I would let someone peek through on occasion. After a while I put up shutters and finally just built up a thick wall to cover everything. I know it took a long time for me to build up my walls. So I don't think anyone can expect them to come down in an instant.

But somehow I was lucky to meet a person on the net who seems to have found a passageway through the walls. I find I still tend to close the door and shutters on occasion, but he is very patient with me. So far I haven't been hurt by him so I've no real need to keep my door locked.

Do you still feel that caution

be careful
this might bite me now or soon?

 

[Pixie]

i tend to push everyone away but it's easy to get under my skin.

you just have to know how.

You said it so well, with fewer words

Do you still feel that caution

be careful
this might bite me now or soon?

I've been hurt too many times to not be cautious.
Though so far I haven't been hurt by anone from the net.
Only by the people I thought I really knew in RL

 

[MissTaken]

You said it so well, with fewer words

I've been hurt too many times to not be cautious.
Though so far I haven't been hurt by anone from the net.
Only by the people I thought I really knew in RL

I know we all feel that way from time to time.

"Hurt too many times...."

I believe that without risk, there is no hope.

Which is worse, risk or hopelessness?

It is a choice we must make.

I have made mine

 

[Batch]

I know we all feel that way from time to time.

"Hurt too many times...."

I believe that without risk, there is no hope.

Which is worse, risk or hopelessness?

It is a choice we must make.

I have made mine

A hard place to be in
do I risk?
do I remain in the land of hopelessness?
do I risk for love, again?

 

[Batch]

You said it so well, with fewer words

I've been hurt too many times to not be cautious.
Though so far I haven't been hurt by anone from the net.
Only by the people I thought I really knew in RL

such is the reality of being human

cautious always

 

[MissTaken]

A hard place to be in
do I risk?
do I remain in the land of hopelessness?
do I risk for love, again?

Would yu rather walk in a barren desert or along the precipice of a mountain, with a view of the valley below and the glory of accomplishing the hike?

It is a personal choice, yes.

I have my answer.