The Validation Thread

[English Lady]

EL,
Are you always this cheery? I've been browsing and learning the boards/threads; You are by far the nicest and cheeriest person I have seen on any thread.
Thank you for brightening the day!

Hugo

Well I do my best, I have my blips though. *smiles*

And it's my pleasure.

Thak you for the compliment

 

[mlady_france]

Feeling a little unwanted, and just can't snap myself out of it. I get this way too much. I'm such a needy bitch.

 

[English Lady]

*hugs* you're always wanted here Mlady

 

[hugo_sam]

Feeling a little unwanted, and just can't snap myself out of it. I get this way too much. I'm such a needy bitch.

Love the 'new' pic mlady

 

[mlady_france]

*hugs* you're always wanted here Mlady

*hugs* thanks El.

Love the 'new' pic mlady

Thanks. I think it highlights my eyes a bit more than the other one. Had a hard time finding it though, I just realized, I don't take a lot of pics of my face.

 

[hugo_sam]

*hugs* thanks El.

Thanks. I think it highlights my eyes a bit more than the other one. Had a hard time finding it though, I just realized, I don't take a lot of pics of my face.

I can agree with that.

Be glad I can't post my pic here (wouldn't if I could), that would have people checking for virus',trojans and worms. They would leave the room running!

Any one with the looks to post their own pic (just about everyone I have seen) should be thankful and happy.

Hugo

 

[mlady_france]

I can agree with that.

Be glad I can't post my pic here (wouldn't if I could), that would have people checking for virus',trojans and worms. They would leave the room running!

Any one with the looks to post their own pic (just about everyone I have seen) should be thankful and happy.

Hugo

That's so sweet.

 

[hugo_sam]

Photos

On that subject, cudo's to most everyone here. I am somewhat surprised at the very large number of photogenic people represented here.
There may be some pics that are questionable as far as taste, but that is entirely subjective. I don't recall anyone who had a photo that was repulsive.
Here's to all of the photogenic people of literotica!

Hugo

 

[McKenna]

After months of searching I got a job that I not only wanted, but is in my field: Technical Communication. It was tough for me to hold out for something I wanted; I kept getting pressure from my family to apply at department stores and the like. There's nothing wrong with those kinds of jobs, but I didn't just spend three years finishing out my Bachelors degree to settle for something like that.

Then, when I told them I was negotiating salary before I accepted this job, they thought I was nuts. My family is unused to seeing me be assertive, and it makes them uncomfortable. As does my (relative) success. They don't understand how much work it took to get where I am; it's much easier for them to think that it's all "luck" and happenstance.

Well it's not.

Harrumph.



You know, it feels like those horror stories you hear about women who lose a ton of weight and all their friends/family start to get jealous and end up ditching them. Why are people threatened by success, or at least by people who try to better themselves and take care of themselves?

I just don't get it.

 

[carsonshepherd]

After months of searching I got a job that I not only wanted, but is in my field: Technical Communication. It was tough for me to hold out for something I wanted; I kept getting pressure from my family to apply at department stores and the like. There's nothing wrong with those kinds of jobs, but I didn't just spend three years finishing out my Bachelors degree to settle for something like that.

Then, when I told them I was negotiating salary before I accepted this job, they thought I was nuts. My family is unused to seeing me be assertive, and it makes them uncomfortable. As does my (relative) success. They don't understand how much work it took to get where I am; it's much easier for them to think that it's all "luck" and happenstance.

Well it's not.

Harrumph.



You know, it feels like those horror stories you hear about women who lose a ton of weight and all their friends/family start to get jealous and end up ditching them. Why are people threatened by success, or at least by people who try to better themselves and take care of themselves?

I just don't get it.

Change makes people feel confused, especially sudden change. Maybe they're more uneasy than threatened? They'll get used to the new you, and you'll make friends who celebrate you. Congratulations on the job, that's awesome!

 

[DrFreud]

After months of searching I got a job that I not only wanted, but is in my field: Technical Communication. It was tough for me to hold out for something I wanted; I kept getting pressure from my family to apply at department stores and the like. There's nothing wrong with those kinds of jobs, but I didn't just spend three years finishing out my Bachelors degree to settle for something like that.

Then, when I told them I was negotiating salary before I accepted this job, they thought I was nuts. My family is unused to seeing me be assertive, and it makes them uncomfortable. As does my (relative) success. They don't understand how much work it took to get where I am; it's much easier for them to think that it's all "luck" and happenstance.

Well it's not.

Harrumph.



You know, it feels like those horror stories you hear about women who lose a ton of weight and all their friends/family start to get jealous and end up ditching them. Why are people threatened by success, or at least by people who try to better themselves and take care of themselves?

I just don't get it.

Good job McK. I know how tough it is to get a job you like (i graduated less than 6 months) ago. Your friends would be less afraid of the change if they're all going through the same situation as you. Of course, there are still ones that'll be jealous of your success, but then it's obvious what their friendship is about...

It's a whole different ball game when it comes to family. I was lucky enough to have my family support me in my ambitious endeavors.

I hope you have a great time with the new job.

 

[McKenna]

Thank you, Carson and Dr. Freud.

It's amazing how much even this kind of validation feels good. I think we all want acknowledgement at some point in our lives. It must be one of those basic human needs.

 

[minsue]

After months of searching I got a job that I not only wanted, but is in my field: Technical Communication. It was tough for me to hold out for something I wanted; I kept getting pressure from my family to apply at department stores and the like. There's nothing wrong with those kinds of jobs, but I didn't just spend three years finishing out my Bachelors degree to settle for something like that.

Then, when I told them I was negotiating salary before I accepted this job, they thought I was nuts. My family is unused to seeing me be assertive, and it makes them uncomfortable. As does my (relative) success. They don't understand how much work it took to get where I am; it's much easier for them to think that it's all "luck" and happenstance.

Well it's not.

Harrumph.



You know, it feels like those horror stories you hear about women who lose a ton of weight and all their friends/family start to get jealous and end up ditching them. Why are people threatened by success, or at least by people who try to better themselves and take care of themselves?

I just don't get it.

Wow! Congrats, Mack! I rarely have the nerve to go after a job I really want (it's much easier to deal with not getting a job if it's not one I desperately want) and I've NEVER had the guts to negotiate salary. Screw your family. You're my hero. (please to be noting the complete lack of sarcasm in that statement)

 

[cheerful_deviant]

You know, it feels like those horror stories you hear about women who lose a ton of weight and all their friends/family start to get jealous and end up ditching them. Why are people threatened by success, or at least by people who try to better themselves and take care of themselves?

I just don't get it.

People feel threatened by success. When someone else has something great or succeedes it makes them feel less adequate. The more insecure the person, the more they thrive on others failures or are inclined to write off others successes to luck rather than acknoledge that someone else has done better than they have or could. Highlt competitive people are also less likely to enjoy anothers success for thesame reasons.

Leaving that all asside, I'm proud of you McK, for what it's worth. You stuck to your guns and got the job you worked so hard for. If others don't understand or cant accept then that's their problem. The one person you're stuck with in this entire life is you, so take care to make you happy.

 

[ElizabethWest]

Oh, Sparky. Sorry to hear that. I have some mad voodoo doll skills if you need my services.

I may need those skills if next week follows the same pattern as the last few.

Elizabeth *hugs* we look forward ot you being back in a sunshinier mood love. you brighten this place up

Aw shucks, EL. That's high praise coming from you. You are the brightest pin in this place.

 

[hugo_sam]

Chosen Job

Thank you, Carson and Dr. Freud.

It's amazing how much even this kind of validation feels good. I think we all want acknowledgement at some point in our lives. It must be one of those basic human needs.

Congratulation McKenna!

It is wonderful you held out for the 'right' job in your chosen field. Great job of having input in 'negotiating' with the salary. Working in what you desire will reward you sooner than you can imagine.
You probably don't believe it, but when you can no longer work you will miss being able to.
A good step toward growth and happiness is asserting yourself to your friends and loved ones. In the end they will respect you and love you more for it, if not then what value does their opinion have anyway.

Congats again,

Hugo

 

[Colleen Thomas]

After months of searching I got a job that I not only wanted, but is in my field: Technical Communication. It was tough for me to hold out for something I wanted; I kept getting pressure from my family to apply at department stores and the like. There's nothing wrong with those kinds of jobs, but I didn't just spend three years finishing out my Bachelors degree to settle for something like that.

Then, when I told them I was negotiating salary before I accepted this job, they thought I was nuts. My family is unused to seeing me be assertive, and it makes them uncomfortable. As does my (relative) success. They don't understand how much work it took to get where I am; it's much easier for them to think that it's all "luck" and happenstance.

Well it's not.

Harrumph.



You know, it feels like those horror stories you hear about women who lose a ton of weight and all their friends/family start to get jealous and end up ditching them. Why are people threatened by success, or at least by people who try to better themselves and take care of themselves?

I just don't get it.

In simplest terms, some people, especially people who aren't happy with their own situation, will be threatened by the success of someone else. We all have our insecurities, and often we hold ourselves up to comparrison with our freinds and relatives. That comparrison can and usually is extremely harsh and self critical, as most are their own worst critics.

You earned your degree. You found a job youy like. You're willing to negotiate a salary that is more to your liking than just jumping at any offer. You don't need validation Mack, you've accomplished something most people don't. Keep in mind though, that with success of that magnitude, your freinds may be comparing themsleves and find themselves wanting. It's not fair, but sometimes there is a resentment that comes with that comparrison, especially with people who can not admit fault with themselves.

In that twisted logic, you're to blame for the bad comparrison, even if you never attempted to make the comparrison yourself.

Humans have the frailest psyche of any animal and you can never tell where the personal foibles of any one person may lie.

I'm proud of you and I expect in time, your family and freinds will be too. If not, then they may be doing you the biggest favor in the world, by showing themselves to be unworthy of your freindship.

 

[AppleBiter]

*hugs* applebiter -you are wonderful!

*hugs back* Thanks, EL. You are sooo sweet.

 

[McKenna]

Min - I'm not sure I've ever been someone's hero. Thank you.

CD - I think I'm preening; let me check. Yup, I'm preening. Do you know how powerful those four little words are? "I'm proud of you." I'm glowing! And you're right, the one person I am stuck with for the rest of my life is me; I'd better make damn sure I like who I am.


Hugo - Thank you for your kind words. Being assertive isn't an easy thing to do; I was half afraid I'd lose the offer, but in the end it all worked out and I was proud of myself for setting the standard that "Hey, I value myself and the skills I'm bringing to this position. You should too." I think it will make a difference in my career at this particular company.

Colly - Ever intuitive, you've provided a few of the elusive answers I've been seeking. People are tremendously fragile; I'm glad you reminded me of that. It helps me be less angry and more understanding. With understanding, I'll be better able to cope with people's foibles and inconsistencies. Thank you, dear one.

 

[English Lady]

Applebiter -you're welcome

Liz- you are a bright spark and thats for sure.

Mckenna, I've not got anything new to add, but these people are right. Well done you for getting the job you want, very, very well done. I'm sure your family and friends don't mean to pull you down in any way, they are just finding change hard to deal with, we all find that sometimes. You're a star, you always make me smile and I am really, really chuffed for you!

And scarlett -you're a genius for starting this thread. It really shows what beautiful, kind souls we have here in the AH.


If anyone's got any validatin' left in 'em I could do with some. I feel like crap today. Chest infection, lack of sleep and a very long day ahead, is not doing much for my chirpiness.

 

[Ferawyn]

If anyone's got any validatin' left in 'em I could do with some. I feel like crap today. Chest infection, lack of sleep and a very long day ahead, is not doing much for my chirpiness.

I think one only has to read some of the posts in this thread to see just how much you are appreciated on this board for your optimism and caring, EL.

You have made a newbie like me feel right at home here.

 

[hugo_sam]

Deserved 'Validation'

If anyone's got any validatin' left in 'em I could do with some. I feel like crap today. Chest infection, lack of sleep and a very long day ahead, is not doing much for my chirpiness.

EL,
So sorry you are not feeling better. As far as validation I agree with Ferawyn. You do make a 'newbie' feel welcome and appreciated. You're like the super 'welcome wagon lady', super Mom and everyone's best friend rolled into one great package. I know I certainly appreciate the time you have taken with me. I'm sure as more folks check the boards and wake up, you'll find that a very pervasive feeling.

It looks like you don't sleep any longer than I do.

Hope the day gets better as it goes on.

*Very warm embrace*
Hugo

 

[English Lady]

Ferawyn, why thank you,I'm glad you feel at home here

Hugo, you're so very sweet, thank you for the validation The mum thing is very true, Ask Carson,He's been my adopted son for a while!


Thank you both, I am feeling a bit better now, though the moroseness is still hanging on by a thread. I make a very bad patient you know, I hate being unwell!

 

[rgraham666]

I'm awake enough now to be supportive EL.

You make everyone here happy, even a surly curmudgeon such as myself.

 

[mlady_france]

If anyone's got any validatin' left in 'em I could do with some. I feel like crap today. Chest infection, lack of sleep and a very long day ahead, is not doing much for my chirpiness.

EL there have been so many times over these past what now 8 months, that you have not only made me feel like I was worth something more, and put a smile on my face, but made me feel important. So many times, I just needed some one to listen and you were right there. You never judged, only listened, and always put a smile on my face and warmth in my heart. With out you there would have been many times where I would have fallen completely lost. Your chiper attitude has always reminded me of who I once was and who I'm trying to be again. For everything you are EL, thank you.