The United States of Iraq

[Kuntmode]

Let's face it, whether they go in tomorrow, next week, next month or next year, eventually Iraq will be invaded.

It would be foolish to think Iraq will fall quickly, but whatever the outcome, once it begins, the US won't stop until Iraq is firmly under it's control.

The future of Iraq will be thus:

McDonalds in Baghdad, Mosul, Basra, Tikrik, Kirkuk and other major cities.

"Can I have a McBaghdad Burger please?

Basra Pirates versus Mosul Pillagers in baseball?

How about Baghdad Bowl 1? The Northern No-Fly League up against those from the Southern No-Fly League?

There will be Sunni's, Shites and Kurds seeing their first Rolling Stones gig.

In the centre of Baghdad will be Disneyland. Mickey Mouse and Goofy will greet the flocks of Iraqi's.

There will approximately 12 states in all.

Bush
Powell
Rumsfeld
Cheney
North Bush
South Bush
Rice
Blair
Howard
New Israel
Kurdistan
Holywood

Any ideas of what else may appear in the United States of Iraq?

 

[70/30]

How about states named after the masterminds...
Wolfostan
Perland
Rovississippi

towns for the lesser cabinet...
Boucher Bend
Fleischer Falls
St. Card

 

[Evil Attorney]

Bring liquor, western culture and sex to Iraq.

Make the saudis pissed.

You want to stop terror? Break their religion and fundamentalist strongholds with whiskey, women and pop culture. Open strip bars, forbid religious police and persecution of those who frenquent them.

Educate their women. Make them the profesionals. Make then the civic leaders backed by US might. Get a generation used to women in power to break Islam's patriarchy.

Introduce missionaries from every church that will go their. Have no official religion for iraq and make sure that the laws of the country have nothing to do with the Islamic codes of laws.


Destroy the culture that makes islamic fundamentalism possible.

Then you can have peace.

 

[Don K Dyck]

Let's face it, whether they go in tomorrow, next week, next month or next year, eventually Iraq will be invaded.

It would be foolish to think Iraq will fall quickly, but whatever the outcome, once it begins, the US won't stop until Iraq is firmly under it's control.

The future of Iraq will be thus:

McDonalds in Baghdad, Mosul, Basra, Tikrik, Kirkuk and other major cities.

"Can I have a McBaghdad Burger please?

Basra Pirates versus Mosul Pillagers in baseball?

How about Baghdad Bowl 1? The Northern No-Fly League up against those from the Southern No-Fly League?

There will be Sunni's, Shites and Kurds seeing their first Rolling Stones gig.

In the centre of Baghdad will be Disneyland. Mickey Mouse and Goofy will greet the flocks of Iraqi's.

There will approximately 12 states in all.

Bush
Powell
Rumsfeld
Cheney
North Bush
South Bush
Rice
Blair
Howard
New Israel
Kurdistan
Holywood

Any ideas of what else may appear in the United States of Iraq?

. . . and all those lovely oil wells pumping all that lovely oil for the wasteful AmeriKKKan market . . . another 40 years of waste . . . with a further 40 years unproven reserves . . . my God how the profits roll in, roll in!!

 

[busybody..]

When Clinton supported regime change

The opponents of the Bush administration's possible military action against Iraq make the following arguments: "He's simply trying to finish the job his father started"; "No blood for oil"; "Iraq poses no imminent threat"; "Wars kill innocent women and children"; "Allow the United Nations inspections to proceed"; "Containment works"; "Avoid unilateralism, and proceed only with the United Nation's approval"; and the all-encompassing "No smoking gun exists demonstrating that Saddam possesses weapons of mass destruction."

But Bill Clinton, four years ago, took to the airwaves and explained his authorization of non-U.N.-approved missile strikes against Iraq, using the very same arguments now advanced by President Bush. Yet the silence was deafening.

Clinton, Dec. 19, 1998: "Earlier today, I ordered America's armed forces to strike military and security targets in Iraq. . . . Their mission is to attack Iraq's nuclear, chemical and biological weapons programs and its military capacity to threaten its neighbors. . . . Saddam Hussein must not be allowed to threaten his neighbors or the world with nuclear arms, poison gas or biological weapons."

George W. Bush, Jan. 28, 2003: "Year after year, Saddam Hussein has gone to elaborate lengths, spent enormous sums, taken great risks, to build and keep weapons of mass destruction. But why? The only possible explanation, the only possible use he could have for those weapons is to dominate, intimidate or attack. With nuclear arms or a full arsenal of chemical and biological weapons, Saddam Hussein could resume his ambitions of conquest in the Middle East and create deadly havoc in that region."

Clinton: "Six weeks ago, Saddam Hussein announced that he would no longer cooperate with the United Nations weapons inspectors called UNSCOM. . . . Their job is to oversee the elimination of Iraq's capability to retain, create and use weapons of mass destruction, and to verify that Iraq does not attempt to rebuild that capability. . . . Iraq has failed to turn over virtually all the documents requested by the inspectors. Indeed, we know that Iraq ordered the destruction of weapons-related documents in anticipation of an UNSCOM inspection."

Bush: "The dictator of Iraq is not disarming. To the contrary, he is deceiving. From intelligence sources, we know for instance, that thousands of Iraqi security personnel are at work hiding documents and materials from the U.N. inspectors, sanitizing inspection sites, and monitoring the inspectors themselves."

Clinton: "Other countries possess weapons of mass destruction and ballistic missiles. With Saddam, there is one big difference: He has used them. Not once, but repeatedly. Unleashing chemical weapons against Iranian troops during a decade-long war. Not only against soldiers, but against civilians, firing Scud missiles at the citizens of Israel, Saudi Arabia, Bahrain and Iran. And not only against a foreign enemy, but even against his own people, gassing Kurdish civilians in Northern Iraq. . . . I have no doubt today, that left unchecked, Saddam Hussein will use these terrible weapons again."

Bush: "Some have said we must not act until the threat is imminent. Since when have terrorists and tyrants announced their intentions, politely putting us on notice before they strike? If this threat is permitted to fully and suddenly emerge, all actions, all words and all recriminations would come too late. Trusting in the sanity and restraint of Saddam Hussein is not a strategy and it is not an option. The dictator who is assembling the world's most dangerous weapons has already used them on whole villages, leaving thousands of his own citizens dead, blind or disfigured."

Clinton: "The decision to use force is never cost-free. Whenever American forces are placed in harm's way, we risk the loss of life. And while our strikes are focused on Iraq's military capabilities, there will be unintended Iraqi casualties. . . . Heavy as they are, the costs of action must be weighed against the price of inaction. If Saddam defies the world and we fail to respond, we will face a far greater threat in the future. Saddam will strike again at his neighbors. He will make war on his own people. . . . But once more, the United States has proven that although we are never eager to use force, when we must act in America's vital interests, we will do so."

Bush: "Sending Americans into battle is the most profound decision a president can make. The technologies of war have changed, the risks and suffering of war have not. For the brave Americans, this nation fights reluctantly because we know the cost and we dread the days of mourning that always come. We seek peace. We strive for peace. And sometimes, peace must be defended. A future lived at the mercy of terrible threats is no peace at all. If war is forced upon us, we will fight in a just cause and by just means, sparing, in every way we can, the innocent. And if war is forced upon us, we will fight with the full force and might of the United States military."

What a difference an administration makes.

 

[schwaantz_nj]

Re: Re: The United States of Iraq

. . . and all those lovely oil wells pumping all that lovely oil for the wasteful AmeriKKKan market . . . another 40 years of waste . . . with a further 40 years unproven reserves . . . my God how the profits roll in, roll in!!

Yes, well thank the heavens we have those industrious pioneering spirits down under. They all drive hybrid vehicles, and hydrogen powered non-polluting cars right? Oh wait, not yet because the Americans have not finished inventing and building them. Once we perfect the technology we will share it with the rest of the world. Including the Europeans who until recently relied for the most part on very dirty diesel engines. Only within the past few years have cleaner burning diesel engines been developed.


Well Said BusyBody!!!

The fact of the matter is most people including reasonably thought out middle easterners believe that Saddam is a madman and has done nothing to further the cause of his own people. They just do not think America should step in. They believe that somehow the poor, downtrodden, tortured, abused, neglected society will rise up and remove Saddam themselves. Ahh yes, that is scheduled to happen right after hell is finished freezing over.

 

[schwaantz_nj]

I almost forgot

Can I supersize that McBaghdad Burger Meal, please?

 

[70/30]

Re: Re: Re: The United States of Iraq

Oh wait, not yet because the Americans have not finished inventing and building them. Once we perfect the technology we will share it with the rest of the world.

I know Honda has an American division but I don't think it counts.

 

[schwaantz_nj]

Re: Re: Re: Re: The United States of Iraq

I know Honda has an American division but I don't think it counts.

Honda has a large R&D dept in the U.S.

 

[70/30]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: The United States of Iraq

Honda has a large R&D dept in the U.S.

Ok through Honda, America is paving the way for the entire world. Meanwhile American light trucks benefit from a 25% tariff, now GM and Ford get a $1.2billion carshow subsidy--tax dollars well spent?

 

[schwaantz_nj]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: The United States of Iraq

Ok through Honda, America is paving the way for the entire world. Meanwhile American light trucks benefit from a 25% tariff, now GM and Ford get a $1.2billion carshow subsidy--tax dollars well spent?

Since when was the debate about the fleecing of America? You are not going to get an argument from me for stating the obvious. Don't we all wish we had a personal say in where our tax dollars went?

 

[schwaantz_nj]

and through Honda????

What are you talking about? Maybe you say that because they put the first popular hybrid on the market. We will see who puts the first truely non-polluting vehicle on the road.

 

[70/30]

GM and Ford are already propped up--that proppage should result in requirements, not a 20year R&D delay. Why don't hybrid cars/50+mpg vehicles already on the showroom floor get a tax break/subsidy/tariff instead of ford small loads?

Black and white. Until there is no pollution emitted (plants have to produce hydrogen cells) there shouldn't be any shades of grey.

 

[Ham Murabi]

Iraq won't be totally Americanized. Australia will have an influence: Donkeydickhead Fertilizer (the bullshit never stops flowing from his mouth).

 

[schwaantz_nj]

so from that post I should assume...

GM and Ford are already propped up--that proppage should result in requirements, not a 20year R&D delay. Why don't hybrid cars/50+mpg vehicles already on the showroom floor get a tax break/subsidy/tariff instead of ford small loads?

Black and white. Until there is no pollution emitted (plants have to produce hydrogen cells) there shouldn't be any shades of grey.

...that you are part of the solution or part of the problem? You must be in great shape from all the bike riding you do.

While I agree there should be stricter regulations and deadlines for hybrids/hyrdos those companies are not simply "propped up" for their own financial gain. They are in part "propped up" to help the economies in certain areas afloat. Do not forget they are also propped up because they put money in the pockets of the right people come campaign time. Who did you vote for last election day?

I guess you have not been paying close enough attention to the latest goings on in the hybrid car market. Those vehicles enjoy a huge tax subsidy to the tune of 10k a piece.

As for the black and white issue of pollution I can only say "Whoooooaaaa Conan, take it easy there, don't want to hurt yourself!!" You cannot expect miracles over night.

 

[schwaantz_nj]

awwww shit!!

Iraq won't be totally Americanized. Australia will have an influence: Donkeydickhead Fertilizer (the bullshit never stops flowing from his mouth).

That was fucking funny, the hardest I have laughed all day, thanks Ham!!!

 

[Don K Dyck]

Re: Re: Re: The United States of Iraq

The fact of the matter is most people including reasonably thought out middle easterners believe that Saddam is a madman and has done nothing to further the cause of his own people. They just do not think America should step in. They believe that somehow the poor, downtrodden, tortured, abused, neglected society will rise up and remove Saddam themselves. Ahh yes, that is scheduled to happen right after hell is finished freezing over.

Just a tinsy-winsy little point of correction here, schwaantz, old chap . . . that was the CIA strategy . . . it failed in 1996 . . .

Ahhhhhhh . . . Hand Masturbate . . . did you have trouble getting your back-side into the cupboard . . . or were you just trying to protect the world from the stench of your oral farts? . . .

 

[Don K Dyck]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: The United States of Iraq

Ok through Honda, America is paving the way for the entire world. Meanwhile American light trucks benefit from a 25% tariff, now GM and Ford get a $1.2billion carshow subsidy--tax dollars well spent?

Good point 70/30 . . . we all know that only Communist countries subsidise inefficient manufacturing operations . . . in AmeriKKKa they subsidise ALL manufacturing . . . and protect agricultural markets with huge tariffs . . . after all, free enterprise cannot be expected to flourish in a free market . . .

 

[p_p_man]

Any ideas of what else may appear in the United States of Iraq?

Three States would be named:

Islam
Allah
Koran

but only if America wants to make friends and influence people...



ppman

 

[schwaantz_nj]

Re: Re: Re: Re: The United States of Iraq

Just a tinsy-winsy little point of correction here, schwaantz, old chap . . . that was the CIA strategy . . . it failed in 1996 . . .

Ahhhhhhh . . . Hand Masturbate . . . did you have trouble getting your back-side into the cupboard . . . or were you just trying to protect the world from the stench of your oral farts? . . .

To correct your misguided correction. Nothing I said was factually incorrect. I do not give a rats ass about who did what in 1996, all I said was that a great number of middle easterns would like to see Saddam ousted by his own people without US interference. Also, if you read the sentence I basically state that it is a doomed strategy or didnt you pick up the sarcasm in the line "right after hell is finished freezing over". I can see how that could be overlooked (by someone who doesnt bother to read before he speaks).

Ham the methane fumes must be making dyck's eyes watery hence the poor reading skills.

And donkey...do not believe what those muscle heads in the gym tell you...those steroids really are shrinking your balls.

"Good point 70/30 . . . we all know that only Communist countries subsidise inefficient manufacturing operations . . . in AmeriKKKa they subsidise ALL manufacturing . . . and protect agricultural markets with huge tariffs . . . after all, free enterprise cannot be expected to flourish in a free market . . "

Wow, you really are lucky to live in a country where the rich do not take advantage of the middle and lower classes. Heck, you are damn lucky...you must live in the only country with a economic system with such integrity. Either that or you live in a world that the rest of us will not likely know anytime soon, not without heavy doses of psychotropics Welcome back to reality...in any free market there will be people on top taking advantage of those on the bottom. BOHICA, learn it, like it, live with it.

 

[Alvin Brickrock]

There will approximately 12 states in all.

Bush
Powell
Rumsfeld
Cheney
North Bush
South Bush
Rice
Blair
Howard
New Israel
Kurdistan
Holywood

Any ideas of what else may appear in the United States of Iraq?

Just call it all flatbush and appoint Powell, Rumsfeld, Cheney, Blair and G.W. as lords.

 

[Lost Cause]

Explain this......

The National Iraqi Liberation Army being trained at a base in Hungary. They're the equivalent to the Free French Forces that liberated Paris. The same will be done to Baghdad, where Iraqis will liberate Iraqis, and install order immediately for the rebuild and production of their oil plants for immediate export to get back on their feet. (We have already secured those plants, whether they know it or not.)

Iraq will be a free Iraq in April.

www.afgha.com

 

[Thrillhouse]

Bring liquor, western culture and sex to Iraq.

Make the saudis pissed.

You want to stop terror? Break their religion and fundamentalist strongholds with whiskey, women and pop culture. Open strip bars, forbid religious police and persecution of those who frenquent them.

Educate their women. Make them the profesionals. Make then the civic leaders backed by US might. Get a generation used to women in power to break Islam's patriarchy.

Introduce missionaries from every church that will go their. Have no official religion for iraq and make sure that the laws of the country have nothing to do with the Islamic codes of laws.


Destroy the culture that makes islamic fundamentalism possible.

Then you can have peace.

And if you REALLY want world peace, do the same in the US.

 

[Lasz]

Bring liquor, western culture and sex to Iraq.

Make the saudis pissed.

You want to stop terror? Break their religion and fundamentalist strongholds with whiskey, women and pop culture. Open strip bars, forbid religious police and persecution of those who frenquent them.

Educate their women. Make them the profesionals. Make then the civic leaders backed by US might. Get a generation used to women in power to break Islam's patriarchy.

Introduce missionaries from every church that will go their. Have no official religion for iraq and make sure that the laws of the country have nothing to do with the Islamic codes of laws.


Destroy the culture that makes islamic fundamentalism possible.

Then you can have peace.

It worked for the Jordanians, Egyptians, Morrocans, Kuwatis, and Turks.

 

[70/30]

Try $2000 tax break for hybrid cars. So $22,000 turns into $20,000. Let's say you are looking to buy an F150, it is protected by a $3,000 to $4,000 tariff. This hurts a leading hybrid maker, Toyota. Toyota's plants and truck line are significantly more efficient than GM or Ford's. Looks like propping up the dinosaurs and getting no fuel efficiency compliance.

Please make a comprehensive list on how GWB is the true environmentalist (inc. CAFE, lead poison levels, mercury emission levels, security requirements for nuke and chemical plants, ANWR, superfund). On your anti-DEM diatribe please include my DEM executive office hopefuls Kerry, Lieberman, Biden.