The unappreciated limerick

[BusDee276]

I once met a hung man called Nick
Whose friend had a lovely big dick
As they lowered their zips
I start licking my lips
They utter 'Here Dee, come take your pick!'

 

[Smuttyandfun]

'Adultery,' said Joseph, 'is nice;
If once is all right——better twice.
This doubling of rations
Improves my sensations,
For the plural of "spouse," friend, is "spice".'

 

[Smuttyandfun]

In the Garden of Eden lay Adam
Complacently stroking his madam,
And great was his mirth,
For he knew that on earth
There were only two balls——and he had 'em.

 

[Smuttyandfun]

Pubic hair is put there for a reason
That is evident in the cold season:
For the balls it's a muff,
For the rod it's a ruff;
And it keeps the vagina from freezin'.

 

[Smuttyandfun]

There was a young fellow named Bliss
Whose sex life was strangely amiss.
For even with Venus
His recalcitrant penis
Would seldom do better than t
h
i
s.

 

[VallesMarineris]

If you are a man, then enough can’t be said
Of the hours-long pleasure of getting road head
You drive to survive
But you feel so alive
And so glad to have miles of your girl’s tongue ahead

The journey is the reward of such trips
You glide down the road while you slide through her lips
One hand on the wheel and one in her hair
You don’t give a fuck if you never get there
The vacay begins when your pants she unzips

Forget all those self-driving cars— you’re F1!
But there’s no need for speed: the ‘F’ stands for fun
You let the cars pass
As you feel up her ass
Her moans on your shaft say you’ve already won.

When you exit the freeway, your beach resort near,
She lifts up her head and says, “Already here?”
Though her hair is a fright
In her eyes is a light
Your next stop will be in your fellatrix’s rear.

 

[yowser]

A strapping young fellow from Dallas
Was immoderately pleased with his phallus.
His lover was thin
Yet he’d drive deep within
What he fondly described as her chalice.

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

Repost from the Grammatical Conundrum thread...


The question opined was moot
but opinions flowed forsooth
Whether fucks or fuck
I've no such luck
I'll take either or both, in truth

 

[FrancesScott]

I wrote a short tale, literary
‘Twas innocent, not just contrary
By aping style that he
Had used writing Gatsby
My ‘Fitzgerald’ words ended scary

 

[SimonDoom]

"For fuck's sake!" Jim declared, sorely vexed.
"I haven't fucked lately, I'm hexed!"
True, his luck had gone bad.
No fucks had he had.
Our poor Jim was inadequately sexed.

 

[Smuttyandfun]

'Adultery,' said Joseph, 'is nice;
If once is all right——better twice.
This doubling of rations
Improves my sensations,
For the plural of "spouse," friend, is "spice".'

 

[FrancesScott]

I joined this site for the views
It’s claimed an audience accrues
I was clearly misled
By the things that were said
And now I’m just singing the blues

 

[SimonDoom]

Says Smutty, "Adultery's fun."
He's persuasive, that son of a gun.
But I fear all the strife
Lest I convince the wife
That two women are better than one.

 

[FrancesScott]

Each day, lots of stories are posted
Perhaps some by AI are ghosted
The pie’s sliced too thin
To get a look in
When so many tales end up hosted

 

[BusDee276]

It's late as I glance at the clock
And your bulge is nothing to mock
I'm here on my knees
Stop being a tease
Come closer and pull out that cock

 

[TarnishedPenny]

Is algebra fruitless endeavour?
It seems they’ve been trying forever
To find x, y and z
And it’s quite clear to me
If they’ve not found them yet then they’ll never.

 

[SimonDoom]

Trigonometry, T, 'S where it's at.
You can measure a this and a that.
With an angle and line,
You can find the cosine.
But don't try with the tail of your cat.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

I sat next to the Duchess at tea.
It was just as I feared it would be.
Her rumblings abdominal
Were truly phenomenal -
And everybody thought it was me!

 

[OralAllOver]

There once was a man from Bel Air
Who was doing his wife on the stair
But the banister broke
So he doubled his stroke
And finished her off in mid-air

 

[RoanMtn]

There was a young girl named Alice
Who used a dynamite stick for a phallus
They found her vagina in North Carolina
And her ass in Buckingham Palace

 

[EmilyMiller]

An argument over ‘to censor’
Could really not be any denser
It’s meaning is crystal
Alternatives wishful
So why are some feelings intenser?

 

[EmilyMiller]

I’m writing a novel, how ‘bout that?
If printed on paper ‘twould be fat
There are so many pages
It’s taken me ages
First comment? Praise or brickbat?

 

[Bamagan]

An argument over ‘to censor’
Could really not be any denser
It’s meaning is crystal
Alternatives wishful
So why are some feelings intenser?

Because you can't argue semantics without some antics. That's my hypothesis.

 

[Cacatua_Galerita]

The bukkake team all did blow
on the petite alabaster albino.
So it came to be
that she took a selfie
but her Lit avatar didn’t show.

 

[BusDee276]

Being busty I'm proud of my bits,
My cleavage receives lots of hits,
I'll let you go far,
Cum take of my bra,
And have a play with my tits