The unappreciated limerick

[ShelbyDawn57]

There was a young bride from Leicester
Whose mother, she kissed her and blessed her
Said, "My dear, you're in luck,
He's a stunning good fuck,
For I've had him myself, in Gloucester."

Ever had both a mother and her daughter? I have.

There was a young lad named Bud,
Whose mother wont wed a young stud,
Said she, he's young.
Said he, but he's hung
I know cuz he fucked me, but good.

 

[nipplecaresser]

I met a young lady called Tina
You've never seen anyone keener
She was desperate to please
As she sank to her knees
Now my man-handle's never been cleaner

 

[SimonDoom]

There was a sweet lass known as Linda,
Whose motive was ne'er to offend ya.
But she couldn't say no,
When the itch struck her so,
To display her unshaven pudenda.

 

[AlinaX]

There was a - well, me - named Alina
Whose name didn't rhyme with vagina
Except maybe, yes, kinda
But nothing obscener
And she sang to a sweet concertina

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

They say, orgasms are wonderful.
Most hope, at least, they're plentiful.
Receiving we groan,
and giving bemoan,
when they come as more than a mouthful.

 

[SimonDoom]

Ms. Limerick looked up, at her leisure,
To her partner, his face all a pleasure.
She said, "See here, Sonnet,
"You better be on it,
"To tend to the needs of my treasure."

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

Ms. Limerick, tis sad, was a'gloom
for as soon as her words would bloom,
though crafted with care,
they'd oft defer
to the mastery of one, @SimonDoom

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

And one more before I call it a night.


A fox, a squirrel, and an otter
doing things they best not've
t'were furries, you see,
simple, should be
were the squirrel not the foxes daughter.

 

[AlinaX]

A lady with lips red as beet
And skin that was white as a sheet
Had ebony bangs
And ivory fangs
And was ever so swift on her feet

 

[CharleneBarr]

Old Mother Hubbard's man, Jonah,
came home early, forgetting to phone her,
and when he got there
found Ma Hubbard was bare
and giving poor doggy a boner.

 

[SimonDoom]

Young Joe caught a glimpse of Mae's muffin,
Up her dress, leaving Mae shocked and huffin'.
"Don't be so demure,"
Said Joe, "You're not pure."
"We both know your muffin needs stuffin'."

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

Was once a writer from Kentucky
who thought his fate unlucky
In Gay Male he wrote,
on oral he'd dote
Comments said his stories were 'sucky.'

 

[yowser]

Such enchanting verisimilitude
Was contained in a story so lewd
That Rick pulled out his prick
And ever so quick
Made noises both lusty and crude.

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

The content of stew's willy-nilly
it's often described as just silly.
Whatever you do,
it always holds true
You don't put beans in your chili

 

[rthnck]

"I'll spread my legs wide for your tongue", she said
Then lay back invitingly onto the bed
He licked till she came
She screamed out his name
And then gave him some excellent head.

 

[SimonDoom]

A Lit author known as StillStunned,
Published stories at a pace quite fecund.
But Laurel's delay
Caused StillStunned to say,
"Good God, Lit, I want a refund!"

 

[Bamagan]

This limerick feels a bit meaner,
But I confess to being a beaner.
If the chili's just meat,
It tastes incomplete,
Though it might be fit for a wiener.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

Words that ramble yet rhyme
Lead to a glorious time
Where giggly mirth
Encircles the earth
And groans are the obvious sign!

 

[SimonDoom]

Lydia, you've drunk too much beer
You're making a scene, oh, my dear!
It's making me frown,
So won't you come down,
From atop Uncle Bill's chandelier.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

The pitter-patter of prose
Or black-inked ravens and crows
These images prick
Consciousness' trick
Gilding the damn thorned rose

 

[AlinaX]

He climbed to the very top rung
And from there extended his tongue
“I said kiss it better,”
She cried, “Now I’m wetter
And swollen exactly where stung!”

 

[AlinaX]

There was a young lassie called Blake
Who found sex to be tiresome and fake
Quite glad she was ace
She stared into space
As she dined on zucchini and cake

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

Pussy or dick, you may pine.
Honestly, both are quite fine
to kiss or to suck,
and, oh yes, to fuck;
I just wish the pussy were mine.

 

[AlinaX]

O pussy, sweet pussy, be mine
And let others come to me to dine
Though dick is exquisite
I really won’t miss it
When pleasures within me combine

 

[SimonDoom]

Vagina, snatch, pussy, or twat?
It's a riddle what to say and what not.
Just don't call her the B-word
Or refer to the C-word
And please don't use "horny" or "hot."