The "Other" Girl

Apparently, I'm "good enough" to be the girl that a guy is able to fuck and fulfill fantasies with, but I'm not "good enough" to be acknowledged or to be in a relationship with. I'm the secret on the side.

So, I just wanted to ask if anybody else (and it can be reversed... doesn't have to be just "the other girl") has ever been in this situation? I think I'm angry about it, but I also don't think I'm going to do anything about it.

You do seem a bit rough around the edges. Probably not best to be seen in public with you.
 
Apparently, I'm "good enough" to be the girl that a guy is able to fuck and fulfill fantasies with, but I'm not "good enough" to be acknowledged or to be in a relationship with. I'm the secret on the side. I wasn't aware I was the secret on the side until I asked him to go somewhere more pronounced with me.

So, I just wanted to ask if anybody else (and it can be reversed... doesn't have to be just "the other girl") has ever been in this situation?

Welcome to Lit. Tits or gtfo.
 
Sometimes you have to get rid of the bad, even if it is all you've got. It can be scary.

With that said, I would like to see your tits.
 
I watched season 1, episode 1 of Jersey Shore last night. What did Samantha see in that Situation guy anyway. He was obviously trouble just to look at him.
 
Always insinuate the worst and make them explain themselves then make some wise ass sarcastic remark like they are the biggest lier in several surrounding states.

Then from what they say you have a clue where you stand and if they are being real.

Oh, newbies must show them tits!

It's a unwritten rule.
 
if you agree to let yourself be the bit on the side, why the hell should he leave his gal? what the fuck would his motivation be?

if you have enough self respect not to screw attached men then you'll never be the bit on the side again.
 
if you agree to let yourself be the bit on the side, why the hell should he leave his gal? what the fuck would his motivation be?

if you have enough self respect not to screw attached men then you'll never be the bit on the side again.

+1. To the OP, I was single last year for the first time since I was 23 and I learned something from dating - I had all the power. All the power. I had the power to tell every guy to fuck off if he didn't treat me respectfully, I had the power to tell a guy I didn't think he was a good fit, I had the power to not let a man make me last priority. In short, darlin', you have all the power. You are going about this all wrong. Don't let anyone do that to you. Dump his ass. It's better to be alone. You always can get better hobbies and sex toys. Don't settle. It sounds so trite, but it is so true.... so many fish in the sea. So many! You can try a new flavor every night! Just be smart about it.
 
I like that... I was angry before, but this is perfect. I think I may use that.

But don't use it when thinking about you, use it when thinking about them. Seems to me you are treating men like they are the main course, when you should treat them like they are the side dishes. If you are into homestyle meals, make sure your table is full of side dishes, if one is empty, you're less likely to miss it. But if you want a steak dinner, don't settle for a happy meal. Your value is not in what another person thinks of you, it's in what you think of you.
 
+1. To the OP, I was single last year for the first time since I was 23 and I learned something from dating - I had all the power. All the power. I had the power to tell every guy to fuck off if he didn't treat me respectfully, I had the power to tell a guy I didn't think he was a good fit, I had the power to not let a man make me last priority. In short, darlin', you have all the power. You are going about this all wrong. Don't let anyone do that to you. Dump his ass. It's better to be alone. You always can get better hobbies and sex toys. Don't settle. It sounds so trite, but it is so true.... so many fish in the sea. So many! You can try a new flavor every night! Just be smart about it.

That's only true if you are dating guys who follow their dick through life. In such cases, your power was illusory because those guys do or say whatever they think will get them laid; and, getting laid was their goal.

There is no balance of power in a relationship, only shared goals and efforts by both parties to achieve those goals.
 
+1. To the OP, I was single last year for the first time since I was 23 and I learned something from dating - I had all the power. All the power. I had the power to tell every guy to fuck off if he didn't treat me respectfully, I had the power to tell a guy I didn't think he was a good fit, I had the power to not let a man make me last priority. In short, darlin', you have all the power. You are going about this all wrong. Don't let anyone do that to you. Dump his ass. It's better to be alone. You always can get better hobbies and sex toys. Don't settle. It sounds so trite, but it is so true.... so many fish in the sea. So many! You can try a new flavor every night! Just be smart about it.

S-Samantha Jones? Is that you?

http://img.dv-portal.ru/nasmeshnik/4384bc3759e22c658a5ea1fa6a3cd065.jpg

;)
 
Yeah, no. Not Samantha Jones. What I learned about dating post 40 is that there are a lot of men who have no idea what it means to cultivate a relationship. Stupid women stick around to see if they can "change" him. Smart women flex and move along. The bottom line: Don't be a dummy and think that you have to be stuck with someone who makes you low priority when there are *so* many options out there. That is all.
 
Once you become the other woman, even if he leaves the other and is "yours", he will always consider you second class. Always.

Get out while you can and go be happy.
 
Once you become the other woman, even if he leaves the other and is "yours", he will always consider you second class. Always.

Get out while you can and go be happy.

I thought chicks like to be treated bad. That's what they say these days in dating advice sites.

Its too complicated anymore. :(
 
Have you ever thought of dating a guy who happens to be entirely single? (Which he might lie about; but, you can probably tell if you just get a look at his place. If later it turns out you were fooled because he's rich enough to keep two places . . . count your blessings.)
 
Doesn't look at though you were the "other" girl given that there's no mention of a gf.

Seems more that you were a FwB.
 
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