The Metrodance Guidelines for New and Established Posters.

[RoryN]

Don't call me boy, cunt.

That's better.

Sorry; my charity work for the day is done. No more entertaining you.

 

[Metrodance]

guideline 5b: online relationships

there is no sex in the champagne room...

none.

I'm afraid that the subject of online relationships is one that will be addressed in the fullness of time.
Thank you for your viewpoint. It will be considered by the editorial council.

 

[Cheyenne]

Sorry; my charity work for the day is done. No more entertaining you.

Aw...but you were fun! Just have to learn to trust your gut, like I said.

 

[Metrodance]

Guideline 11: List Threads of Litsers
A fluff thread that is guaranteed to get a response. The eagerness of some posters to appear on a list is a little pathetic in the eyes of a seasoned observer.

Guideline 12: Culture
The internet can bring together diverse cultures. These forums can be an opportunity to learn, not to lambast with simple and archaic political rhetoric. Nobody actually reads it, by the way.

Guideline 13: Smilies
A clear sign of a restricted vocabulary.

Guideline 14: Ego
Over-inflated or simply out of control, there are many variations of ego abuse. Remember, people are posting to appear a certain way in the eyes of the board audience, to present a specific image. Reality rarely measures up to the board image, although there have been examples of true love growing here. It proves that roses can bloom surrounded by weeds.

 

[Minkey Boodle]

people select avatars based on who they think they are or wish they were.

Totally word.

 

[saffron]

Totally word.

i like a really rare burger too.

but not as rare as your avatar.

 

[Debbie]

Guideline 6: Signatures
Wily posters turn off avatars and signatures. Saves time and allows you to focus on the content of the posts. Nobody is ever impressed by a signature. I know they say they are but they’re not really.

Guideline 7: Avatars
Don’t play too much importance to AV’s. It’s like a pair of shoes – some people have exquisite taste, others appalling but it’s not really a solid indicator to their intelligence or morality. Remember, people select avatars based on who they think they are or wish they were.

Guideline 8: Under the Influence
I can’t remember if it was Lasher of Purple Haze who said never post when you’re drunk! I add, Never post when you are under the influence of the drug of your choice or in love. You will regret it.

Mensa said it too.

Lit posting rule# 52:
Never post when your drunk off your ass!

And he also had this in his sig.

"Three important rules to remember for posting:
1) Never post when you are dumbass tired.
2) Never post when you are dumbass drunk.
3) Never post when you are dumbass."

It never fails to make me grin when I read it.

As for avs? I really do wish I was Smeagol. Being able to talk to one's self and getting an answer is so cool.

 

[Metrodance]

Thank you, Debbie, for pointing that out. (It's always nice to post with one of the nicest people on the forums.)

How could I forget the great Mensa?

Worse, how could I confuse Lasher/Purple Haze for Mensa?

I feel so very bad.

 

[linuxgeek]

*peeks in to see how the bloodletting progresses*

 

[Guest]

Learn the difference between constructive critique and intentional disruptive flaming. "You suck cause you write gay stories and I don't like gay stories" is a statement of personal opinion, and a personal attack, NOT constructive critique.

I never said that so get something substantial.

 

[Lasher]

So have we figured out who's Alt this is yet?

 

[saffron]

So have we figured out who's Alt this is yet?

i thought it was you.

 

[Lasher]

i thought it was you.

I stopped telling people how to post in the previous millenium.

 

[saffron]

I stopped telling people how to post in the previous millenium.

it's kind of a retro alt.

 

[linuxgeek]

maybe now that it can put up an AV, we'll get a clue to whose alt it is.

 

[Lasher]

maybe now that it can put up an AV, we'll get a clue to whose alt it is.

I think Guideline 37, Section IV, subsection B, paragraphs 4 and 6 say something bad about AVs.

 

[Metrodance]

Guideline 15: Thread Titles
When beginning a new thread, it is important to select an eye-catching title. I would remind you of an earlier guideline – parody threads are the slapstick version of forum humour – and suggest a great deal of thought be given to the title. Perhaps a classical reference? An inside joke? It’s a handy trick to insert someone’s name in the title, then everyone will read it!

 

[Lasher]

Someone's Alt doesn't like parody threads.

It's cute.

 

[Debbie]

Thank you, Debbie, for pointing that out. (It's always nice to post with one of the nicest people on the forums.)

How could I forget the great Mensa?

Worse, how could I confuse Lasher/Purple Haze for Mensa?

I feel so very bad.

Lasher or PH have probably said something very similiar.

 

[Metrodance]

Guideline 16: Names
Selecting your name is the most important step in making your grand appearance on lit. Why do so many people get it wrong? Some of the names are so puerile it’s embarrassing! (Note to all new male members: Giant Purple Cockhead is not sexy!)

 

[Metrodance]

Guideline 17: Fun
The board can be fun. That’s why we all come here. There are so many nice people. Unfortunately, identifying the good people is extremely difficult. Be careful, be wery, wery careful.

 

[Freya]

Guideline 17: Fun
The board can be fun. That’s why we all come here. There are so many nice people. Unfortunately, identifying the good people is extremely difficult. Be careful, be wery, wery careful.

People are supposed to be nice here?

Is this a new rule?

 

[bg23]

i agree with everything except the contention that "newbie" is somehow bad.

 

[Never]

i agree with everything except the contention that "newbie" is somehow bad.

There's nothing wrong with calling someone a newbie. Calling someone a newb, however, will inspire thoughts of violence in others.

 

[bg23]

what's the difference between newbie and newb?