The Men Who's Wives Have No Sex Drive Support Club

[RedSilk69]

Wow. That got long. Anyway, I don't think that women should be hesitant to jump in and discuss their experiences, perspectives, and solutions.

My only question is, do you have a single friend who shares your perspective?

 

[pplwatching]

My only question is, do you have a single friend who shares your perspective?

I don't usually sit around talking about sex with my single friends. I'll keep you in mind if I find one though.

 

[Sabre1985]

Quick update

Well friends, things are starting to look up. After a couple years relieving pressures myself because of wife's lack of interest, she said "things" seem to be reawakening. She cuddled up to me and Initiated! We took our time, and enjoyed ourselves.
Damn, it felt good to feel WANTED again!

 

[pplwatching]

Well friends, things are starting to look up. After a couple years relieving pressures myself because of wife's lack of interest, she said "things" seem to be reawakening. She cuddled up to me and Initiated! We took our time, and enjoyed ourselves.

Fantastic news!

Damn, it felt good to feel WANTED again!

Doesn't it? Congratulations!

 

[RedSilk69]

Well friends, things are starting to look up. After a couple years relieving pressures myself because of wife's lack of interest, she said "things" seem to be reawakening. She cuddled up to me and Initiated! We took our time, and enjoyed ourselves.
Damn, it felt good to feel WANTED again!

Congratulations!!!! That's really wonderful. Sex alone is great, love alone is great - and the two together? *!*!*!*!*

 

[Sabre1985]

Thank You! I know that it may take a while to get back to where we used to be, but at least there is a sign. Cancer drugs and pain medication have really taken their toll. I do believe that using some legal cbd edibles has helped too. Help with pain and anxiety, but no thc to alter the brain.

 

[gamegamale]

Well friends, things are starting to look up. After a couple years relieving pressures myself because of wife's lack of interest, she said "things" seem to be reawakening. She cuddled up to me and Initiated! We took our time, and enjoyed ourselves.
Damn, it felt good to feel WANTED again!

That's marvelous! I wish you the best.

 

[policywank]

In fairness, and so I don't look like some sort of saint, I said 'I don't feel like it' and that was the end of things for quite a few years, and eventually my long-suffering husband pretty much gave up trying (but it was still always clear that he loved me and desired me). It takes quite a bit of work, and also a husband who's prepared to engage in an actual discussion, to get to the point where you're able to say (and mean) 'I don't feel like it, but we can do this because I love you and your happiness is important to me - what d'you reckon?', and for your husband to be able to say (and mean) 'even though you obviously don't really 'desire' me, which is really what I (and a lot of the guys contributing to this thread) want, I'll go with that because it's an OK compromise'. We're not negotiating car prices here - this really runs to the core of people's belief in their desirability, and what it means to love someone. And that means it's hard to talk about - hard for everyone - especially if you've got a mountain of other things (kids, mortgages, impending redundancies, ailing parents, blah blah blah) to worry about.

And, as I said before, I really think that when a lot of women say 'I don't feel like it', what they mean is 'I don't know WTF is going on with me, and I hate it, and I can't seem to work it out, so I don't want to talk about it because I don't have a solution to offer ... and I don't feel like it, so let's just go with that because it's easier than opening up this whole horrible can of worms'.
And, unfortunately, when it happens it's likely that at least one person is going to be operating from a defensive position, which makes things more difficult.

... and that's probably enough hijacking of a thread for which I'm clearly not the target demographic. To the guys who're still loving their wives in spite of this - you rock.

I agree that what a lot of women really mean when they say "I don't feel like it" is that they don't know what is going, can't work it out and don't have much more to offer. But there are varying degrees to which those (and all other) women are trying to work it out and/or respecting their husbands perspective. Some share your view that the guys who love their wives in spite of this do rock. But the proportion who project those challenges back on to their husband by seeking to invalidate his desires or question his "efforts" to woo her is not immaterial.

Of the men who are chiming in on this thread how many would say their wife is truly cognizant and respectful of their sexual desires? How many would say that their wife sometimes seeks to invalidate their desires to justify her lack of interest or participation? How many would say that their wives view sex as a special zone where she has the absolute right to deny any request to even fake it?

I try to be supportive but I admit that there are times when I have not just said "I don't feel like it" but tried to make that his fault for no good reason or diminished his desires in a way I would find unacceptable in his place.

 

[mark_j]

I try to be supportive but I admit that there are times when I have not just said "I don't feel like it" but tried to make that his fault for no good reason or diminished his desires in a way I would find unacceptable in his place.

Why would you do that?

 

[eroticspank]

Again I think great comments and honest perspectives by all on here.

I must admit that I really think the common thread on here is how we look at sex. Each of us looks at it differently and I am mainly talking about men vs women. Society has jumped in and put out certain ideas in our heads perhaps from childhood of what and how we are supposed to think about sex. Women have certain "duties" and men do too. Sitcoms out there have comments about it, talk shows mention it, and your typical magazine does as well. So when you actually get in the bedroom with your partner, you must act out your "role" or be lost in what to do.

Do women understand that men have a sex drive that needs to be satisfied on a regular basis?

Do men understand that women also have a sex drive that needs to be satisfied but usually on a different schedule?

Somehow sex seems to be under a different umbrella and when it is talked about, looked at, or suggested some of us get very uncomfortable. There needs to be this, that, and other things before we can do it.

Why is it so easy for a woman to put her hand on her husbands neck and start giving him a massage? She can spend 10 min, 30, or even an hour giving him pleasure without even thinking about it, him returning the favor etc. BUT if she gives him a BJ, all kinds of criteria must be met. I think it is how she will feel viewed by her peers and society if she does. So a massage is okay, a BJ is not.

I think men see sex as a big part of being loved. Getting a neck massage is great but a spontaneous BJ is even more showing her love.

Of course this is just my opinion. But women try to see men and sex as part of their expression. Understand this and learn to direct it for the advantage of both of you. I mean direct their expression of sex for the both of you, even when you are not in the mood. One technique could be touching his dick and telling him you care but are not in the mood. Another may be having sex even when you are not in the mood with your own boundaries and limitations. The biggest problem being the feeling you have to do it when you are not in the mood. That is not true and their are many other options that will work when you are not feeling it.

ES

 

[policywank]

Why would you do that?

It is something I try to avoid and which I really only recognize after the fact. In the moment I am likely feeling self-conscious of not being responsive enough. Realistically there is always a line between one partner wanting too much and the other not being responsive enough - where that line is drawn is unique to each couple. I try to be very aware and considerate but we all have our moments.

 

[gamegamale]

In fairness, and so I don't look like some sort of saint, I said 'I don't feel like it' and that was the end of things for quite a few years, and eventually my long-suffering husband pretty much gave up trying (but it was still always clear that he loved me and desired me). It takes quite a bit of work, and also a husband who's prepared to engage in an actual discussion, to get to the point where you're able to say (and mean) 'I don't feel like it, but we can do this because I love you and your happiness is important to me - what d'you reckon?', and for your husband to be able to say (and mean) 'even though you obviously don't really 'desire' me, which is really what I (and a lot of the guys contributing to this thread) want, I'll go with that because it's an OK compromise'. We're not negotiating car prices here - this really runs to the core of people's belief in their desirability, and what it means to love someone. And that means it's hard to talk about - hard for everyone - especially if you've got a mountain of other things (kids, mortgages, impending redundancies, ailing parents, blah blah blah) to worry about.

And, as I said before, I really think that when a lot of women say 'I don't feel like it', what they mean is 'I don't know WTF is going on with me, and I hate it, and I can't seem to work it out, so I don't want to talk about it because I don't have a solution to offer ... and I don't feel like it, so let's just go with that because it's easier than opening up this whole horrible can of worms'.
And, unfortunately, when it happens it's likely that at least one person is going to be operating from a defensive position, which makes things more difficult.

... and that's probably enough hijacking of a thread for which I'm clearly not the target demographic. To the guys who're still loving their wives in spite of this - you rock.

I agree that what a lot of women really mean when they say "I don't feel like it" is that they don't know what is going, can't work it out and don't have much more to offer. But there are varying degrees to which those (and all other) women are trying to work it out and/or respecting their husbands perspective. Some share your view that the guys who love their wives in spite of this do rock. But the proportion who project those challenges back on to their husband by seeking to invalidate his desires or question his "efforts" to woo her is not immaterial.

Of the men who are chiming in on this thread how many would say their wife is truly cognizant and respectful of their sexual desires? How many would say that their wife sometimes seeks to invalidate their desires to justify her lack of interest or participation? How many would say that their wives view sex as a special zone where she has the absolute right to deny any request to even fake it?

I try to be supportive but I admit that there are times when I have not just said "I don't feel like it" but tried to make that his fault for no good reason or diminished his desires in a way I would find unacceptable in his place.

There are so many valid, understandable and realistic thoughts/opinions brought up on this thread. The attitudes that Kim and policy, above, express are nearly identical to what my wife has expressed to me.
We married when in our late 40's so many of the conflicts that occur in a marriage (children, money, etc.) were not issues for us and this helped in making our dealing with our relationship simpler. Plus, at our age we both had experienced several relationships and had learned much regarding interaction between partners and that honest and open discussions are necessary to resolve issues.
Being a realistic person my wife understood that expecting me to live a sexless life was not a fair expectation. After going through menopause she lost all interest/desire for any type of physical contact. No type of sexual contact, hugging, kissing, holding hands...nothing at all. She even requested that I sleep in a different room. But regardless of this change we still loved and cared for each other. This being the case, and knowing the pleasure I gained from sexual contact she told me that she wanted me to find myself a partner with whom to satisfy my sexual needs. She even offered to arrange for me to meet with a female coworker who had expressed interest in me.
We experienced many changes in our relationship, learned much about each other that we didn't know before and became even more trusting and caring of each other. Admittedly we are a rarity but having met later in life, having many life's experiences behind us there was enough trust in one another which enabled us to express our true feelings and compromise.

All situations are different and there are no set answers. It takes emotional strength and trust in oneself and their partner to overcome any situation.

 

[Ingwe]

I was going to post a long thread about my situation and anxieties but then realised that all it would achieve is the recognition that there are others in the same situation and that, in itself, offers no remedy.
It's been more than 10 years since my wife and I had sex. I don't think anything will change. We tried talking about it, not in any real depth, and the only reaction from my wife was that she feels vaguely guilty about it but that's it. And who the hell would want a sympathy fuck? Not me.
We're both in our 60s now and I'm resigned to see out our days in a sexless, intimacy free marriage. We get along alright and divorce would be financially out of the question (no time to restart).
I have resorted to porn and fantasies for my release; not ideal if that's your only resource.
So I'm pleased to join the club but can offer no help to fellow sufferers (men or women). What a waste of a major part of one's life.

 

[Mr. Briggs]

Well friends, things are starting to look up. After a couple years relieving pressures myself because of wife's lack of interest, she said "things" seem to be reawakening. She cuddled up to me and Initiated! We took our time, and enjoyed ourselves.
Damn, it felt good to feel WANTED again!

Wow amazing and thanks for sharing

 

[1mherenow]

......................

 

[pennst8er91]

IMPORTANT NOTE WOMEN ARE VERY VERY WELCOME HERE I may have made it a guys club but it isn't. Any women in this position please join in we'd love to hear from you

Thank you..... Unfortunately , I feel like this might be a club for me..... Haven't read all of the posts (they are sadly so many) so I don't know if I am the only woman here.....

Guess my story is the same as many elses.... we had a decent sexlife in the beginning but now it's kinda boring...... Still love it though (when i finally get some) even if it follows the same routine a lot.

Trying is hard..... Thank god I was blessed with self confidence..... When I try to be more intimate then just a hug and a peck on the mouth he usually say "can you stop acting like a bitch in heat"? A few days ago I was naked on my knees, asking if i couldn't give him a blow job (no strings attached, didn't want anything back, i just wanted to feel him in my mouth again). He said that I wasn't see-through.... (he was watching tv,as always). That was the day I joined Literotica.... This saturday we were to a party. During dinner I took his hand and pulled it under the table and under my skirt to show him I was going commando.... Didn't help.... Yesterday he made a funny (in his opinion) remark that I should send him a picture of me in a thong. I looked him straight in the eyes and told him I'll do it if he wants me to.... Then he just snorted, looked offended and said "how old do you think i am"?

Just a few examples from lately to give you the picture. I'm 43 but usually people think I'm 10 years younger. He's 49. No kids to "be in the way" or keep us up all night. Don't really know how I want to use Literotica but I guess I'll surf around and see what it has to offer.... I just got here and everything is very new... Guess it would be nice to know if there are other women out there who also have joined this club....and that I'm not entirely alone.... oh, and btw I work more then he does, so that's not the answer either....[/QUOTE]


In a way it's good to hear it is not just a one-sided thing (just guys), but in another way, it I so frustrating to hear that there are so many of us who seem to be mis-matched when it comes to our partners and our sex drives.

 

[gamegamale]

Thank you..... Unfortunately , I feel like this might be a club for me..... Haven't read all of the posts (they are sadly so many) so I don't know if I am the only woman here.....

Guess my story is the same as many elses.... we had a decent sexlife in the beginning but now it's kinda boring...... Still love it though (when i finally get some) even if it follows the same routine a lot.

Trying is hard..... Thank god I was blessed with self confidence..... When I try to be more intimate then just a hug and a peck on the mouth he usually say "can you stop acting like a bitch in heat"? A few days ago I was naked on my knees, asking if i couldn't give him a blow job (no strings attached, didn't want anything back, i just wanted to feel him in my mouth again). He said that I wasn't see-through.... (he was watching tv,as always). That was the day I joined Literotica.... This saturday we were to a party. During dinner I took his hand and pulled it under the table and under my skirt to show him I was going commando.... Didn't help.... Yesterday he made a funny (in his opinion) remark that I should send him a picture of me in a thong. I looked him straight in the eyes and told him I'll do it if he wants me to.... Then he just snorted, looked offended and said "how old do you think i am"?

Just a few examples from lately to give you the picture. I'm 43 but usually people think I'm 10 years younger. He's 49. No kids to "be in the way" or keep us up all night. Don't really know how I want to use Literotica but I guess I'll surf around and see what it has to offer.... I just got here and everything is very new... Guess it would be nice to know if there are other women out there who also have joined this club....and that I'm not entirely alone.... oh, and btw I work more then he does, so that's not the answer either....

In a way it's good to hear it is not just a one-sided thing (just guys), but in another way, it I so frustrating to hear that there are so many of us who seem to be mis-matched when it comes to our partners and our sex drives.[/QUOTE]

Sometimes this mismatch is a result of not getting to know one's partner well enough. But, unfortunately, there is no way to predict the future and how aging, illness or any other of life's circumstances will affect a persons sex life.

If only the partners who have lost the urge would be open minded enough and not object to liberating their spouse. Easier said than done, however, for both parties for there are so many emotional factors involved and it can/dose take time to make such an adjustment.

 

[eroticspank]

it I so frustrating to hear that there are so many of us who seem to be mis-matched when it comes to our partners and our sex drives.

Sometimes this mismatch is a result of not getting to know one's partner well enough. But, unfortunately, there is no way to predict the future and how aging, illness or any other of life's circumstances will affect a persons sex life.

If only the partners who have lost the urge would be open minded enough and not object to liberating their spouse. Easier said than done, however, for both parties for there are so many emotional factors involved and it can/dose take time to make such an adjustment.[/QUOTE]

I really like to read comments about this subject. It is clearly not easy for either sex. It reminds me when I was in High School. There was this girl that I really liked. Whenever I was in love with her and wanting to date she was not into me. Then when she was into me I was not into her. It was very frustrating.

I feel for the women who really try to get their Husbands involved in the bedroom, with little or no concern on the part of the Husband for the pleasure of his wife.

I have talked to some guys who complain about their wives that they are not attractive any more. In most cases the guys complaining have let themselves go as well, but they don't see that part. So going into the bedroom for them is a chore and not appealing at all. Trying to see the inside person, the friend you married, bonded with may help. I feel we all want pleasure/love for those we connect deeply.

I think part of the problem is what has been mentioned before. Society and all the stigmas and taboos placed on sex. Some men don't want to touch their wives because they don't look like the women in magazines or Porn. Some women don't want to initiate sex because they may seem like a "whore". Some men don't want to initiate sex because they may seem obsessed with sex or too needy. Some women are trained from an early age to not always say "yes" when it comes to sex because they will look needy or obsessed with sex. I could go on and on. There are a lot of reasons why we don't connect in the bedroom after the initial romance/Honeymoon.

I imagine some of you Masturbate daily to satisfy your sexual needs? What if you stopped and asked your partner to fulfill that need? (I understand this thread is about having a partner that does not fulfill your sexual needs etc.This is a what if.) What IF every time your were horny you made a pact to tell your partner?

I bet we can all think of ways that something like this could go wrong. Insensitive comments like, "Again?" or "Is that all you think about?" is just one way.

But I suggest we look at something like this in a positive way and it may lead to something very good. Example: Telling your wife that you are turned on and want to be with her physically could be taken as a compliment. Another thought is this kind of arrangement COULD lead to more communication about sex. Example: I send a msg to my wife while she is at work that I am very horny for her. She replies asking me to describe what I am thinking about. I tell her and now I am really turned on. She may tell me to wait for her until she gets home or tell me it is okay to masturbate. Or make up a different scenario, the key is the wife becomes part of your sexual play even solo sex. The same can be done for the woman, confessing/sharing whenever she feels turned on with her husband.

I can see where this could even go a step further into talking about feelings and emotions. After having sex, "I feel great and I am in a good mood. I feel close to you because you took time out to please me." Prior to sex, "I am irritable and frustrated. I feel ignored or neglected."

These are just some thoughts and ideas, I hope some of them help.


ES

 

[gamegamale]

Sometimes this mismatch is a result of not getting to know one's partner well enough. But, unfortunately, there is no way to predict the future and how aging, illness or any other of life's circumstances will affect a persons sex life.

If only the partners who have lost the urge would be open minded enough and not object to liberating their spouse. Easier said than done, however, for both parties for there are so many emotional factors involved and it can/dose take time to make such an adjustment.

I really like to read comments about this subject. It is clearly not easy for either sex. It reminds me when I was in High School. There was this girl that I really liked. Whenever I was in love with her and wanting to date she was not into me. Then when she was into me I was not into her. It was very frustrating.

I feel for the women who really try to get their Husbands involved in the bedroom, with little or no concern on the part of the Husband for the pleasure of his wife.

I have talked to some guys who complain about their wives that they are not attractive any more. In most cases the guys complaining have let themselves go as well, but they don't see that part. So going into the bedroom for them is a chore and not appealing at all. Trying to see the inside person, the friend you married, bonded with may help. I feel we all want pleasure/love for those we connect deeply.

I think part of the problem is what has been mentioned before. Society and all the stigmas and taboos placed on sex. Some men don't want to touch their wives because they don't look like the women in magazines or Porn. Some women don't want to initiate sex because they may seem like a "whore". Some men don't want to initiate sex because they may seem obsessed with sex or too needy. Some women are trained from an early age to not always say "yes" when it comes to sex because they will look needy or obsessed with sex. I could go on and on. There are a lot of reasons why we don't connect in the bedroom after the initial romance/Honeymoon.

I imagine some of you Masturbate daily to satisfy your sexual needs? What if you stopped and asked your partner to fulfill that need? (I understand this thread is about having a partner that does not fulfill your sexual needs etc.This is a what if.) What IF every time your were horny you made a pact to tell your partner?

I bet we can all think of ways that something like this could go wrong. Insensitive comments like, "Again?" or "Is that all you think about?" is just one way.

But I suggest we look at something like this in a positive way and it may lead to something very good. Example: Telling your wife that you are turned on and want to be with her physically could be taken as a compliment. Another thought is this kind of arrangement COULD lead to more communication about sex. Example: I send a msg to my wife while she is at work that I am very horny for her. She replies asking me to describe what I am thinking about. I tell her and now I am really turned on. She may tell me to wait for her until she gets home or tell me it is okay to masturbate. Or make up a different scenario, the key is the wife becomes part of your sexual play even solo sex. The same can be done for the woman, confessing/sharing whenever she feels turned on with her husband.

I can see where this could even go a step further into talking about feelings and emotions. After having sex, "I feel great and I am in a good mood. I feel close to you because you took time out to please me." Prior to sex, "I am irritable and frustrated. I feel ignored or neglected."

These are just some thoughts and ideas, I hope some of them help.


ES[/QUOTE]

You make some very good points, ES. There's always a cause and effect but most folks don't/can't make the effort to find a resolution. Doing so is not easy and requires quite an emotional investment as well as the risk of failure.
Unfortunately so many people don't possess the self confidence or trust in themselves or their partners to express their feelings.

 

[Mr. Briggs]

I imagine some of you Masturbate daily to satisfy your sexual needs? What if you stopped and asked your partner to fulfill that need? (I understand this thread is about having a partner that does not fulfill your sexual needs etc.This is a what if.) What IF every time your were horny you made a pact to tell your partner?

I thought exactly this and tried this. Resulted in more frustration. My sexual needs are a bother to my wife.

 

[Classyaf]

I thought exactly this and tried this. Resulted in more frustration. My sexual needs are a bother to my wife.

Mr Briggs I'm with you on this. If I send a sexy text to the wife I get an eye rolling emoji or I get no response. If I tell her I'm horny I get an eye roll, a "no shit big surprise", or get ignored. Great way to live huh?

 

[13Fantasies]

I thought exactly this and tried this. Resulted in more frustration. My sexual needs are a bother to my wife.

Similar here. She gets upset because she feels I'm calling her out on it

 

[Sarahduk]

Hi Everyone!

There seem to be a large group of us here who are happily married and somewhere along the lines our wives have lost interest in sex. I thought it would be nice to have a common thread for us to chat and discuss how we deal with it and meet others in the same boat.

My story seems to be a common one. Had really great sex while we were dating. Ok sex once we got married. And now it is once a month "make it quick" sex since kids. It's rough. I'm always horny. I think my wife is sexy and beautiful. But there is nothing that seems to get her interested in sex. Even when we have sex she's always very present. She doesn't let go. Most of the time i'm ok with it and just thankful for the wonderful life I have. But sometimes (when it gets to 6 or so weeks without sex) I take it personally and feel unloved. When that happens it's hard.

How do I deal with it? Usually i'm left to jerking off and end up on Literotica. Check out my fav threads, see what new stories are up and then venture out into porn land from there. I've recently tried to really cut back on Lit and Porn. But in a bigtime current dry spell (2 months) so there is only so much holding out I can handle

I'm starting this club because I feel like one of the best things about Lit is being able to talk about what you are going through and then coming to realize you aren't alone. It's free therapy with some sexy conversation and content thrown in

Feel free to share your story and how you deal with it or you can PM me if you don't want to post.

IMPORTANT NOTE WOMEN ARE VERY VERY WELCOME HERE I may have made it a guys club but it isn't. Any women in this position please join in we'd love to hear from you

It's important to realise that there are women in the same position perhaps not as many but we do exist. When two people have been married a long time and the sex drives become very different it is very difficult to know how to deal with it. In my case my older husband has been losing interest in sex and it's become very infrequent and predictable. Whereas for me as his sex drive has diminished mine has grown perhaps frustration I don't know. At least I have this safe place to come where I can talk openly and honestly about my situation as it is so hard in real life to talk to friends and family about the subject even difficult to talk to my husband about it. Other than cheating which I feel is not an option for me there is very little you can do about it if you wish to keep a marriage in tact you just have to get on with life make the most of it and make the most of your fantasies. Xx

 

[Larkfield61]

My situation may differ from many on here.

We have been married 43 years, within a year of getting married we had joined a wife swapping group, it was actually my wife's suggestion, her friend was already a member, it was very fashionable at the time and was seen as harmless fun. This group grew quite large although we seldom managed to get all the members together at one time but you could say that for the 1970's we were very adventurous and my wife and l enjoyed it very much. I was away from home for periods working and had no objection to my wife going to parties alone, she would always tell me what she had been up to.

This situation continued for twenty years with various members of the group leaving and others joining, we experimented with all types of sexual activity and there were times when l would watch my wife have sex with a number of men at the same time.

About twenty years ago my wife began to lose interest in the group and told me that she no longer wished to take part, our sex life together was still good so l accepted her decision. Gradually though our sex life began to diminish, she put her lack of interest down to her age and eventually about 15 years ago we stopped having sex altogether.

I was no saint, l have been a trucker since before we were married and was no stranger to casual sex while on the road. In the early years, a common theme was with students hitching rides, it was generally accepted that payment was a blow job but there were girls happy to go further. Also, throughout my marriage l continued a sexual relationship with my sister that my wife still doesn't know about even though my sister passed away over five years ago.

When my wife started to lose interest we discussed it a few times, she also discussed it with her mother who had been recently widowed. My mother-in-law and l talked about it and on one occasion, after a fair amount of wine, she offered to step in as a substitute sexual partner, a situation which continued up to her death.

I started a relationship with a divorced lady who lived near us just over 10 years ago and this continues today, l call her my girlfriend but she is now 63, l am 67. We have developed our relationship over the years and we have some wild adventures together.

My wife doesn't know of my current sexual situation, we have a good relationship with each other and l have no complaints about her as a mother and grandmother but l do miss our sex life together.

 

[littlecordelera]

I used to have a very popular sex blog. 95% of my audience was male, and a whole lot of those guys were dealing with this same issue. It kept my inbox slammed, as they all wanted advice on what to do.

For some older couples, the woman had simply lost interest. It's probably not coming back, and it pains me to say, there is nothing the husband can do about it. But in many cases, the root of the problem was clearly menopausal. Hormone replacement therapy might help. (Please note that I said "might.") I do know several women for whom HRT has been a godsend, and a previously sexless marriage turned into a fuckfest.

There was, however, a very common thread in the stories I was told: She gained weight and didn't feel sexy anymore, and he, being long married, no longer chased her. The two seemed to feed on each other.

You can't make your wife/gf lose weight, but you can return to chasing her. Guys, for women, sex is about a relationship. The one-night-stand with a hot guy is a nice fantasy, but we want to be held in regard and appreciated. If you go about your day and do your things, every day, and then suddenly want sex, it feels like I'm an afterthought.

Lots of guys got angry when I suggested the above, writing things like, "You mean I have to jump through hoops to fuck my own wife?"

Please read that quote again. It totally explains why the writer is not getting sex. Can you see it?

I'm not suggesting that what I have written above will help everyone or even anyone, but I felt it was worth mentioning. People get married and they stop dating. Try dating. Pursue her. What have you got to lose?